Chapter 27: Ambiguity and Heartless Men

The carriage rocked and swayed as it traveled a considerable distance, the imposing stone lions at the entrance of the Lin residence long gone from sight.

Lin Xihe recalled the task Lin Zhaoheng had assigned her: to receive a bowl of plain porridge and bring it back for him to eat.

She found it peculiar. Although she hadn’t been in this world for long, the name Shu Shi An sounded strangely familiar.

What could be so special about a nunnery?

The elderly Housekeeper sharing the carriage looked frail and gaunt, yet she insisted on accompanying them. Lin Xihe forcefully handed the old woman two soft cushions, adopting an attitude of “if you don’t use these, I’ll jump from the carriage.” Under her coercion, the Housekeeper had no choice but to place them beneath her.

Only then did Lin Xihe keep the last remaining cushion for herself, muttering, “I can’t take it anymore, my tailbone feels completely shattered.”

“Young lady, we’ll arrive soon. Just half an hour more.”

“…”

Thirty li shouldn’t take this long.

She missed the subway and taxis intensely.

The mountain path was treacherous in the rain. Shu Shi An was situated halfway up Yueling Mountain; in earlier years, there hadn’t even been a proper mountain road.

The nuns in the nunnery lived ascetic lives.

The mountain path seemed somewhat smoother now. As the carriage moved along it, the journey wasn’t as bumpy as in previous years. Lin Xihe lifted a corner of the carriage curtain and leaned forward to look closely. The road surface appeared even, and the gravel along the sides had been carefully cleared away.

The Housekeeper explained that a nun from the nunnery had once slipped and broken her ribs while descending the mountain in the rain. After that incident, the local authorities suddenly repaired and improved the official road, making it more convenient for the nuns to go down the mountain for distributing porridge.

Slanting rain drifted into the carriage. Lin Xihe glimpsed Shu Shi An not far ahead, shrouded in mist and rain clouds on the mountainside.

The mountain wasn’t high, and the path wasn’t steep. She thought finding the flower stamen stone that promoted flesh regeneration and blood circulation shouldn’t be too difficult. She had inquired with the herbal medicine shop owner and obtained the precise location of the flower stamen stone.

The carriage came to a stop in front of the nunnery.

The elderly Housekeeper alighted and, for some reason, seemed much more energetic, striding forward briskly. After just a word or two from her, a young nun warmly opened the nunnery gate.

Lin Xihe drew another conclusion: the old Housekeeper was quite familiar with the young nuns in the nunnery.

The maids and the Housekeeper skillfully assisted Lin Xihe into the nunnery.

“? ” Wait, she had come up the mountain to search for herbs, not to worship Buddha!

Rain had dampened the young lady’s embroidered shoes. The young nun led the group toward the guest quarters.

The air carried the scent of earth, mingled with a few threads of sandalwood fragrance. Lin Xihe’s sensitive nose twitched, but she didn’t detect the aroma of simmering rice porridge.

The young nun explained that the path was slippery in the rain. The abbess was concerned that those coming to receive porridge might fall, so they would wait for the rain to stop before distributing porridge.

“Amitabha.” Lin Xihe pressed her palms together respectfully and bowed.

Once back in the guest room, she collapsed onto the bed in a spread-eagle position.

Lin Xihe: “My father still longs for the porridge here. I came with my bowl ready, but I haven’t even seen a single grain of rice.”

Throughout the journey, Qingwu had remained similarly silent, now massaging her mistress’s legs.

The Housekeeper brought in a bowl of vegetarian noodles.

“Qingwu, aren’t you going to eat?” Given the maid’s physique and the long, jolting journey, she should have been starving by now.

“Young lady, this servant isn’t hungry.”

A noodle still dangled from the corner of Lin Xihe’s mouth as she slurped. She mumbled, “Are you really dieting? You’re sturdy, not fat!”

“…”

Seeing the sky gradually darken, heading up the mountain now would undoubtedly be suicidal.

Lin Xihe had no choice but to hastily wash up and collapse onto the bed. She could at least sleep, couldn’t she?

In the eyes of her personal maid, the young lady was retiring unusually early today. Back at the Lin residence, this mistress often stayed up extremely late, frequently giving Qingwu the impression that “the young lady enjoys challenging the King of Hell to one-on-one combat.”

The flickering candlelight disturbed her peace of mind.

Lin Xihe folded a handkerchief into a strip, placed it over her eyes, and fashioned a simple makeshift eye mask.

What could she do? If she couldn’t sleep, she certainly couldn’t ask the nuns to dance in the square, could she?

“Knock, knock, knock.” Three taps at the door.

The young nun from earlier stood at the doorway. “Benefactor, the abbess is holding evening prayers and requests your presence.”

Qingwu glanced back at the young lady sprawled asleep on the bed and could only reply, “Little master, my lady has already retired for the night.”

It was only the hour of you (5-7 PM).

The nun and the maid exchanged awkward looks.

The young nun twisted her sleeves: How will I explain this to my abbess? She’ll punish me.

The maid pursed her lips: If I wake my lady, she’ll beat me.

Who should bear the responsibility?

Their eyes clashed in the night air, neither yielding.

Until a loud snore came from the room: “Zzzz…”

In the main hall, Guanyin gazed down with compassionate eyes.

The elderly abbess knelt before the Buddha statue, her prayer beads moving steadily through her fingers.

The young nun approached and whispered a few words, her delicate eyebrows knitting together.

“Never mind,” said the abbess. “Benefactor Lin has traveled far and must be weary. This humble nun failed to consider her fatigue.” As she spoke, her gaze swept over the woman meditating on a cushion.

That woman’s eyes were red-rimmed, her lips pressed tight, her prayer beads already in disarray. She had indeed seen the Lin family’s arrival earlier – the housekeeper and maids escorting a delicate young lady to the guest quarters.

“Huixin, you may retire,” the abbess said.

“But the evening prayers haven’t…”

The abbess cut in, “Since your mind is already disturbed, go settle it. I permit you to rest today. Say no more.”

Huixin bowed to Guanyin, performed a respectful prostration, and withdrew amidst the chanting.

In the shadows of the main hall, the old housekeeper hurried forward. “Madam!”

Under normal circumstances, Huixin would have ignored the old form of address, but today was different.

She had been practicing as a lay Buddhist at Shu Shi An for many years, her hair still uncut.

Several days ago, news had come from her old connections in the Lin family – her daughter had died.

Huixin had intended to follow her daughter in death, but Huici had stopped her. The two had embraced and wept bitterly. Though she suppressed the urge to die, she resolved to take tonsure.

Who could have predicted she would encounter that wretched Lin Zhaoheng on porridge distribution day? The scoundrel had disguised himself as a refugee, mingling among those begging for porridge. Afraid she might not see him, he actually waved and shouted, “Our He’er has woken up! She can speak! She can call me father now!”

Huixin had acted as if she hadn’t seen him.

Who would believe the words of a faithless man?

Her He’er was gone, and she couldn’t bear to live on alone.

After the porridge distribution, Lin Zhaoheng not only remained but boldly grabbed her sleeve. “Madam… come back to the manor with me to see He’er, just one look.”

Expressionless, Huixin had upended the wooden porridge bucket over Lin Zhaoheng’s head.

“Xinghuang.” Huixin used the housekeeper’s maiden name.

The old housekeeper responded with a trembling “Madam,” then quickly corrected herself, using Huixin’s Buddhist name when she remembered Huixin disliked the old address.

“Where is He’er buried?” Huixin bit her lip, each word dripping with blood and tears.

The housekeeper couldn’t contain her excitement. “She’s alive! She’s alive! In the guest quarters! The young lady is in the guest quarters!”

“?” Huixin didn’t understand. She had assumed the visitor was the Lin family’s second young lady, Lin Zhirou.

The old housekeeper had been Huixin’s personal maid before her marriage. Otherwise, Huixin would have driven her away already. Having lived in the Lin manor for so long, even the old housekeeper had acquired Lin Zhaoheng’s disgusting habit of speaking nonsense with increasing fluency.

Seeing Huixin’s disbelief, the old housekeeper threw caution to the wind. Forgetting all propriety, she grabbed the prayer beads on Huixin’s wrist and pulled her toward the guest quarters.

The candlelight flickered. On the bed, the girl’s nose twitched slightly.

Huixin rose on her toes, careful not to wake her.

A plain cloth covered her eyes, hiding those lively, clever large eyes.

That appearance could never belong to the Second Young Lady of the Lin Manor.

Huixin recognized her daughter at a glance.

She leaned against the edge of the couch, greedily tracing her daughter’s features with her eyes—from the elegant bridge of her nose to the slightly upturned curve of her lips, even the small earlobes were examined repeatedly.

With each confirmed feature, the hollow ache in Huixin’s chest filled a little more, until overwhelming emotion engulfed her completely.

It was her He’er.

Alive and breathing.

The girl on the couch stirred, raising a hand to rub her neck. Her lips moved, murmuring a sleep-talking phrase: “Stone lion…”

Huixin leaned closer to listen.

“Candied hawthorn…” she mumbled, then smacked her lips lightly.

Huixin: “Is she hungry?”

She remembered Lin Xihe’s most disliked food was candied hawthorn—the young girl had always feared sour flavors. Now that she had grown into a young woman, had even her tastes changed?

“Madam, your tea.” Qingwu brought over the tea.

Huixin didn’t drink it. Instead, she tucked the blankets securely around Lin Xihe, gave her fingers a gentle squeeze, and withdrew from the chamber.

The sound of rain swallowed their conversation.

“Madam… Abbess Huixin.” Qingwu corrected herself.

Huixin: “What did He’er mean by ‘stone lion’ and ‘candied hawthorn’?”

Qingwu recalled how the young lady had argued with Second Master Wen days earlier, angrily calling him a “stone lion” in her fury.

The word “scold” rose to Qingwu’s lips, but she swiftly filtered it out internally. With a respectful expression, she replied: “The young lady was just joking with Second Master Wen.”

Huixin: “Xiao Xu?”

Qingwu nodded, adding that the candied hawthorn was something the young lady had offered Second Master Wen.

The young maid single-handedly transformed their adversarial relationship into something suspiciously ambiguous.

Huixin felt deeply comforted: “Xiao Xu has been well-behaved since childhood.”

Qingwu widened her eyes: Was this some kind of filter?

“He likes my He’er,” Huixin ventured boldly.

Well, perhaps in the next lifetime. Remembering this month’s allowance hadn’t been paid yet, Qingwu weighed her options and forced herself to say against her conscience: “The Second Young Master does… care about the young lady.”

After all, every time the young lady scolded him, he would return ten insults.

Huixin’s lips curved into a smile: “I’ll return first thing tomorrow morning.”

Huici, who had just finished evening prayers, saw Huixin reappear in her meditation room and asked: “Why did you skip evening prayers?”

“I went to see my He’er.”

Huixin couldn’t resist sharing with her dear friend. Her radiant, joyous expression proved infectious to Huici.

Though Huici had cultivated inner peace for years and maintained a placid exterior, as a mortal being of flesh and blood, how could she remain unmoved upon hearing Lin Xihe had returned from death?

“Great tribulations are always followed by blessings. You’ve chanted sutras for years—it’s only natural the Bodhisattva would protect Benefactor Lin.”

This made Huixin want to return to the main hall and kowtow to Guanyin immediately.

Huixin sighed contentedly: “Just as we both hoped—Xiao Xu and He’er grew up together and share a deep bond.”

“?” Now it was Huici’s turn to be skeptical.

She knew her son—he wore a perpetually stern expression. Just days ago, upon learning she had abdominal pain, the boy sent someone to deliver Womb-Warming Medicine along with a handwritten letter.

The letter sought her opinion: he wanted to break off his engagement with Lin Xihe.

This marriage had been arranged by both mothers. If both families agreed, he could dissolve the engagement with peace of mind.

How could there be any “deep bond” when he wanted to break the engagement?

Seeing Huici’s disbelief, Huixin eagerly provided evidence: “He’er even bought candied hawthorn for Xiao Xu!”

Huici shook her head, her tone firm: “Xiao Xu has never liked sour foods since childhood.”

“Who said that? He clearly ate it all! Only the bare bamboo stick remained! All the maids and servants saw it!” Huixin’s voice suddenly rose sharply.

Huici’s usually impassive face was now filled with seriousness: “Nonsense, I know my son’s preferences best. He would never touch those sour fruits.”

“You! Wait until my He’er wakes up tomorrow, then go ask her yourself!”

The candle flame flickered rapidly as the two exchanged words, filling the meditation room meant for spiritual practice with childish bickering.

.

Lin Xihe woke from hunger, her stomach aching with emptiness. Thankfully she hadn’t traveled through time to a nunnery – if she had to endure plain porridge and simple vegetables every day, her stomach would be the first to rebel.

“Young mistress, it’s still early. Morning prayers haven’t begun yet.”

“…” She didn’t come here to chant sutras!

Without bothering to wash up, Lin Xihe went straight to the point: “Why is it so quiet outside? Have the nuns stopped distributing porridge?”

“I just asked. The refugees nearby complain it’s too cold in the morning to get up. The abbess, in her compassion, changed the rule – porridge distribution is now in the afternoon.”

Lin Xihe thought to herself: No wonder some people remain beggars their whole lives – the root problem lies in the word “lazy.”

After her diligent meal of vegetarian food, she stood under the corridor eaves. The air was so humid it seemed water could be wrung from it. She reached out her hand, catching droplets falling from the eaves.

“Young mistress, are you really going up the mountain?” The rain had stopped, but the ground was still slippery.

As she spoke, Lin Xihe had already changed into practical coarse clothing, with her trouser legs tightly tied.

“Of course! How would I know if I don’t try?”

As if responding to her words, the sun broke through the thick clouds, casting golden light upon her.

Lin Xihe’s entire being radiated vitality, her pupils sparkling: “See, heaven is helping me too!”

Huixin had unprecedentedly skipped morning prayers, hiding in the back kitchen to make dough drop soup – given the nunnery’s plain diet, green vegetable and bamboo shoot dough drop soup was the most presentable meal within her capabilities.

After finally finishing, she brought the dough drop soup to the back chamber.

The old Housekeeper hesitated: “The young mistress isn’t…”

“Still sleeping?”

“The young mistress has gone to the back mountain.”

Huixin was taken aback.

A young nun hurried from the front hall, pressing her palms together to report: “Second Master Wen from Wen Country Duke Manor is outside the mountain gate, requesting an audience.”

Huixin: “…?”

Why had Huici’s precious son come?