Chapter 20: He Had Already Touched Her, How Could She Later…

When Xiao Rong pulled Si Jin, she remained frozen in place.

“Aren’t we leaving?”

Only then did Si Jin snap out of her daze, a flicker of panic crossing her face. “No, I need to go downstairs.”

Xiao Rong narrowed his eyes slightly and repeated, “That was just a passerby earlier.”

“That’s not it, I…” Si Jin’s face flushed with embarrassment, temporarily oblivious to Xiao Rong’s peculiar behavior.

She lowered her gaze and hemmed and hawed for a while, still too embarrassed to speak, only saying, “I have other matters to attend to.”

“What matters?”

Why was he still asking? Couldn’t he see she was too embarrassed to speak!

Si Jin pressed her lips together and remained silent, but Xiao Rong’s gaze remained fixed on her face.

As if determined to make her confess her intentions in detail.

Under his stare, Si Jin grew increasingly uncomfortable, feeling a sense of oppressive control.

She couldn’t help but mutter, “Stop looking at me.”

Xiao Rong didn’t relent, but his tone softened slightly. “You haven’t fully recovered yet. I’m not comfortable with you going alone. If you need anything, just instruct the servants. If you want to do something else, let me accompany you.”

“Alright?”

The slight dissatisfaction that had just risen in Si Jin’s heart dissipated under Xiao Rong’s gentle words.

She said softly, “The physician has already been here. He said aside from memory loss, there’s nothing else wrong with me.”

Xiao Rong listened quietly, his fingers lightly entwined with hers, calmly waiting for her to continue.

After a momentary standoff on her part, Si Jin finally relented with a sigh. “I want to bathe.”

Xiao Rong was momentarily taken aback, as if remembering something, a faint curve gradually forming at the corner of his lips. “I won’t get so close tonight.”

“I’ll try.”

Si Jin’s face flushed completely red. “That’s not what I meant!”

“…The physician said just avoid getting the wounds wet. I only have injuries on my right hand and calf. If I’m careful, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“The bathroom isn’t downstairs.”

Si Jin couldn’t control the increasing heat on her face, the blush gradually spreading to her ears.

She thought her current appearance must seem ridiculous to Xiao Rong, otherwise why would the curve of his lips become more pronounced.

But how could she be as natural as he was with her?

After hesitating a moment longer, Si Jin whispered, “I couldn’t find any clean clothes. I didn’t see any maids around you, so I planned to go buy some myself.”

“Couldn’t find them? They’re in…”

Before Xiao Rong could finish, Si Jin quickly interrupted, gripping his fingers, her voice even lower. “There aren’t any… maiden’s undergarments.”

Xiao Rong fell silent for a moment.

Too embarrassed to look up, Si Jin didn’t see the expression on his face at that moment.

Just as she was about to succumb to this torment of shame, Xiao Rong finally spoke.

“It was my oversight. I didn’t bring any maids when I came to find you, but there are undergarments. Come upstairs with me first, I’ll get them for you.”

Hearing this, Si Jin dazedly allowed Xiao Rong to lead her back up the stairs.

For a moment, she couldn’t understand: if they hadn’t traveled together initially, and Xiao Rong hadn’t brought any maids, why had he brought her undergarments?

Xiao Rong brought her back to their room, then went to where the luggage was placed. After searching for a while, he returned to Si Jin and handed her a neatly folded set of clothes.

Si Jin’s gaze trembled as she immediately recognized the white embroidered silk as the style of a maiden’s undergarment, and looking further down, she found even drawers prepared.

Yet seeing Xiao Rong’s broad palm resting upon the intimate garments she was about to wear made the lingering heat in her cheeks threaten to intensify again.

Xiao Rong pressed his thumb against the embroidered part of the undergarment, leaving a sunken crease in the soft fabric.

Si Jin couldn’t help feeling unreasonable in her heart—since he had already touched them, how could she wear them later?

Nevertheless, she quickly accepted the garments and said with feigned composure, “Thank you.”

Xiao Rong watched her flushed face, his Adam’s apple bobbing heavily.

He raised his hand to gently stroke her burning cheek. “There’s no need for such formality between us. We are husband and wife.”

Hearing this, Si Jin suppressed her instinct to evade his touch and allowed his fingers to progress from a light caress to boldly cupping her entire face.

It was so hot.

Her back felt as if it were about to break out in sweat.

With her gaze drifting aimlessly, Si Jin restrained her nearly erratic heartbeat, wondering how much longer he would continue touching her.

Fortunately, a servant soon arrived outside to announce that the bathwater was ready.

Xiao Rong withdrew his hand with some regret and led Si Jin through the corridor to the bathroom door.

As the door opened, a cloud of steam enveloped the room, blurring their vision.

Xiao Rong asked, “Shall I help you bathe?”

Si Jin paused mid-step and instinctively clutched her garments tighter.

Hearing his natural tone, an unbidden speculation arose in her heart: Had they often bathed together in the past?

She quickly shook her head. “I can manage on my own.”

Xiao Rong didn’t insist. “Alright, I’ll wait outside. Call me if you need anything, and be careful not to get your injuries wet.”

After entering, Si Jin saw his standing figure reflected on the closed door through the steam.

Silent, upright, and reassuring.

But soon, the silhouette gradually became shrouded in the hazy mist, almost indistinguishable.

Si Jin suddenly felt a pang of sorrow.

Not for herself, but for Xiao Rong.

According to him, they had developed affection for each other since youth and were now deeply in love.

They had known each other for years, sharing countless memories.

Yet now, she remembered nothing.

Overnight, his wife treated him with the reserve and stiffness of a stranger.

Having lost their shared past, she kept him at a distance, reacted rigidly to his touch, and naturally felt none of their former love.

Si Jin couldn’t help recalling the expression on his face when she first opened her eyes—a mix of sorrow and joy.

She lowered her gaze, her mood somber.

She didn’t want to forget either; the feeling of having nothing in her mind was unbearable.

With a soft sigh, Si Jin began to undress for her bath.

Her limbs, bearing injuries, made movement inconvenient. She carefully avoided the wounded areas, taking considerable time to wash thoroughly.

By the time she finished, the steam in the room had dissipated significantly, and her vision cleared.

Leaning out from behind the screen, Si Jin glanced toward the door with her slender arm draped over herself.

The figure remained there, as if he hadn’t moved at all.

Pressing her lips together, she withdrew her gaze and began drying off and dressing, not wanting to keep him waiting any longer.

As she unfolded the neatly folded undergarment, Si Jin finally saw its design clearly, and her eyes lit up.

She couldn’t recall whether this undergarment had been hers before, but at first sight, she adored it immensely—why doubt anything?

Si Jin turned the maiden’s undergarment over and over in her hands with great fondness before finally untying its strings and putting it on.

Moments later, the sounds from the bathroom abruptly ceased.

The autumn chill devoured the nearly dissipated warmth, silently creeping over Si Jin’s completely unclothed body.

“Xiao Rong.”

A low call came from within the room.

Someone quickly responded from outside the door: “Have you finished bathing?”

The deep breaths Si Jin took behind the screen couldn’t be heard from outside.

Xiao Rong only knew that the sounds inside had suddenly stopped.

His sword-like brows slightly furrowed: “Shall I come in?”

As the door pushed open, the post-bath humidity mixed with a pleasant fragrance rushed toward him.

Before Xiao Rong’s eyes could clearly see anything.

Suddenly a white shadow flew from behind the screen, clearly thrown with venting force, but unable to overcome the object’s inherent softness, rendering it completely harmless.

Xiao Rong froze for a moment, instinctively reaching out his hand, his palm catching something warm and soft.

It was precisely Si Jin’s maiden’s undergarment.

Xiao Rong’s throat tightened as he held the undergarment in his hand and asked: “What’s wrong?”

Upon entering the room, one could hear the slightly heavy breathing behind the screen, as if suppressing anger.

It took Si Jin a long moment to speak, her words gritted through teeth: “That’s not my undergarment.”

In this instant, countless thoughts raced through Si Jin’s mind.

Xiao Rong didn’t have only her – was she the principal wife or a concubine? Were the others hidden outside, or had they already entered the household?

How many people had he spoken those vows of eternal love to? Had she left home in anger because of his fickleness, leading to her current predicament?

And most importantly.

Whose undergarment was this anyway!

However, the man outside the screen wore a completely bewildered expression, utterly unaware of the emotional turmoil in Si Jin’s silence.

“This is indeed your undergarment.”

He had personally stolen it from her wardrobe, and its scent wouldn’t lie – how could it not be hers?

“It’s not!” Si Jin’s voice rose considerably in her anger.

“It’s not my size at all!”

A subtle change flashed in Xiao Rong’s eyes as he made to step forward: “Let me see.”

“Don’t come over!”

How shameless of him!

She already said it wasn’t hers – what was there for him to see?

Xiao Rong paused where he stood, unusually at a loss.

He lowered his gaze to look at the undergarment in his palm.

The atmosphere in the bathroom grew heavy, as if reaching an impasse where tensions could explode at any moment.

But suddenly, a smile touched Xiao Rong’s lips.

He raised the undergarment to his lips, lowering his head to take a deep breath.

His brows and eyes relaxed, yet his gaze darkened.

His tone was unmistakably pleased as he spoke: “This is indeed your undergarment. I simply didn’t know you had set it aside because it didn’t fit.”

“What?”

“I imagine you must have liked this undergarment’s style before, happily bought it home only to find it didn’t fit, yet couldn’t bear to throw it away, so you kept it waiting for when you might wear it again.”

Xiao Rong explained with logical reasoning, showing no trace of panic.

Si Jin stared blankly and fell silent.

She had to admit that Xiao Rong’s words seemed reasonable. Hearing him speak like that, she couldn’t help feeling that she might indeed do such a thing.

But that was merely imagination – she didn’t remember the past, and no one’s words could be verified. Only that ill-fitting undergarment remained, something she had personally seen Xiao Rong take from his travel bag.

Xiao Rong’s gaze caught the silhouette on the screen trembling slightly, and he immediately lowered his eyes to undo his clothes.

The rustling sounds immediately put Si Jin on alert: “What are you doing?”

“Get dressed first so you don’t catch cold. Put on my outer robe for now. I’ll explain everything properly once we’re back in the room, alright?”

Only then did Si Jin belatedly feel the chill and realize she was completely naked, with only a screen separating her from Xiao Rong.

Her mind was in turmoil, and her body instinctively tensed at the thought that he might walk around the screen and see her in this state.

Si Jin hurriedly grabbed the clean clothes from the rack and clumsily pulled them on.

Without her Maiden’s Undergarment, the emptiness beneath her clothes felt unsettling.

Xiao Rong’s dark brocade robe from today was handed to her from beside the screen. After a moment’s hesitation, Si Jin reached out and took it.

The man’s robe was oversized and still carried his body warmth.

As she put it on, Si Jin caught Xiao Rong’s scent again, wrapping around her tightly just like when she fell asleep at night.

“Are you dressed yet?”

Si Jin pressed her lips together and didn’t respond.

Xiao Rong, who had been considerately waiting in front of the screen earlier, now took large strides around it, startling Si Jin.

As if he knew she probably wouldn’t answer him even if she was dressed.

The weight of the heavy outer robe on Si Jin’s shoulders made her instinctively pull the collar tighter, wrapping herself more securely in the man’s robe, afraid he might see something he shouldn’t.

The way she looked struck Xiao Rong, causing dark turbulence to swirl in his eyes.

He watched her quietly, his gaze tracing the lines of his robe on her from head to toe, a barely suppressible excitement surging within him.

The Maiden’s Undergarment clenched in his hand kept rubbing back and forth as he stared fixedly at her figure swallowed by the oversized robe, unable to stop dark thoughts from rising.

Like twisted branches growing from the marrow—dirty, ugly, yet rampant and unstoppable.

But his mood suddenly turned gloomy again.

What enveloped her so closely was his robe, not himself.

Xiao Rong stepped forward, wrapped his arm around Si Jin’s slightly stiff shoulders, and guided her out of the Bathroom. The moment they returned to the room, he removed the outer robe from her shoulders.

Si Jin was taken aback, looking bewildered as Xiao Rong casually tossed his robe aside as if disgusted that she had worn it.

But before she could ponder further, Xiao Rong’s arm returned to her waist.

“Back to bed.”

Si Jin wanted to regain her earlier unspoken defiance, but before she could muster any resistance, Xiao Rong pressed her shoulders to make her sit, then knelt before her.

He gently removed her embroidered shoes, lifted her legs onto the bed, and covered her with the quilt. Soft pillows were arranged behind her just as she leaned back.

Without exerting any effort, she was already comfortably settled, feeling utterly at ease.

Once her defiant spirit weakened, she found it impossible to summon again.

Si Jin puffed her cheeks sulkily, then asked in a softened tone: “Tell me honestly—how many wives and concubines do you have at home?”

Xiao Rong’s movements halted, and his gaze suddenly darkened.

A heavy atmosphere seemed to descend around them, finally settling on Xiao Rong’s expressionless face with an intimidating pressure.

Si Jin had never seen Xiao Rong like this, making his earlier gentleness when removing her shoes and tucking her in feel like an illusion.

Her heart tightened with a trace of fear.

Soon, Xiao Rong’s thin lips moved as he uttered in a deep voice, “You are my lawfully wedded wife, the only one in my household.”

Si Jin was taken aback for a moment before she managed a dry response after a long pause, “…Oh.”

She couldn’t say she believed him, nor could she say she didn’t. She was entirely frightened by Xiao Rong’s sudden imposing aura.

Xiao Rong knelt on one knee on the bed, still moving closer to her.

Si Jin instinctively wanted to retreat, but the soft cushion behind her provided such a comfortable position that she remained still for a moment.

By the time she regained her senses, Xiao Rong’s coldly handsome face was already close.

“I have never had anyone else. From beginning to end, I have only ever loved you.”

Si Jin’s thoughts drifted, just like before she fell asleep last night, as if the same voice was about to invade her mind again.

But Xiao Rong continued, “If there is even half a word of falsehood, may I suffer the agony of weeping blood from my eyes, my internal organs rotting, unable to live or die. Even if tormented to death, may I never find peace…”

Si Jin stared wide-eyed in shock, truly terrified to the point where her reactions slowed. It wasn’t until Xiao Rong was nearly finished with his vicious oath that she hurriedly reached out to cover his mouth.

“Stop talking! No one makes such a malicious oath, you…”

Si Jin’s pupils still trembled with fear, reflecting half of Xiao Rong’s face as they met his pitch-black eyes.

He stared directly at her, seeming somewhat angry but with more of an overwhelming, unfathomable emotion threatening to spill over.

Si Jin fell silent instantly, unsure of what else to say.

Xiao Rong suddenly reached out and grasped her wrist, tilting his head to plant a kiss on her palm.

A warm, moist sensation spread from her palm, the soft touch sending tingles through her body and causing her heartbeat to suddenly lose its rhythm.

Xiao Rong fully settled onto the bed and embraced her, his hold not forceful but pressed tightly against her.

His tone finally softened as he whispered close to her ear, “Since it will never happen, it doesn’t matter how vicious the oath is.”

“But… but you still shouldn’t say such things.”

“Then do you believe me now?”

How could Si Jin say she didn’t believe him? Moreover, she seemed to have recalled something earlier but couldn’t grasp it now.

She could only ask him, “Have you said the same words to me before?”

Xiao Rong: “Which part? Weeping blood from my eyes, internal organs rotting…”

“Not that one!”

Si Jin immediately interrupted him, but her voice softened afterward, “It’s… ‘never had anyone else, from beginning to end only…’ this part.”

“Did you remember something?”

Si Jin tried hard to recall, not noticing how the arms holding her had tensed.

Soon, she shook her head, somewhat disappointed, “No, I couldn’t remember anything.”

Xiao Rong silently watched Si Jin for a moment before the tension faded. He rubbed her wrist with his thumb, his emotions unreadable as he said, “Mm, I have indeed said those words to you before.”

Si Jin’s face suddenly grew warm, wondering how her past self with memories had reacted when hearing Xiao Rong confess his feelings like this.

To understand the past, she should have pressed further with questions. But after lowering her gaze in shy embarrassment for a while, she ultimately didn’t ask, only muttering quietly, “Then… I misunderstood about this matter.”

“Were you jealous with that attitude earlier?”

“No.” Si Jin denied it quickly.

But as soon as the words left her mouth, she felt the arms holding her tighten slightly, as if silently expressing disbelief.

“…I just feel that if you were truly my husband, I probably couldn’t accept such a situation.”

As her words fell, Xiao Rong suddenly reached out and pinched her chin. With slight pressure, he forced her to turn her head and meet his gaze once more.

“There is no ‘if’,” Xiao Rong told her seriously. “I am your husband.”

“And there will be no such situation.”

Si Jin blinked, having regained some composure this time. She parted her lips to respond: “…Oh.”

A soft chuckle escaped Xiao Rong’s lips before he released her and stood up to leave.

Si Jin’s expression changed slightly. Subconsciously, she reached out and caught only the hem of his garment.

“Where are you going?”

Xiao Rong turned back, and in that instant, the look in his eyes made Si Jin feel as if she were being choked – tight and suffocating.

In just two short days, she had encountered this look from Xiao Rong several times.

Gloomy yet turbulent, it felt overwhelming at first glance, completely different from any other expression he had shown her.

She thought that perhaps she had been more accustomed to this look from him in the past. If she looked at it more now, maybe she could remember something.

Si Jin didn’t release her grip nor look away. Tilting her head slightly upward, she clearly reflected Xiao Rong’s current expression in her eyes and asked again: “Where are you going?”

Xiao Rong’s breathing deepened. His fingers beneath his sleeves clenched and unclenched repeatedly. After staring at her for a long moment, he finally answered as if it were nothing unusual: “To prepare clothes that fit your measurements.”

Si Jin never expected that Xiao Rong wouldn’t just prepare new clothes for her, but would also personally wash the Maiden’s Undergarment and Drawers she had been wearing.

He, he, he… this time he not only touched them, but rubbed and kneaded them like that. How was she supposed to wear them afterward?

The dim candlelight fell on one side of Xiao Rong’s face. When he turned completely toward her, his entire face was illuminated, making every feature perfectly clear.

Xiao Rong said calmly: “Even if you keep blushing like this all night, I’ll still wash them for you afterward. I’ve always washed them for you before.”

Si Jin was taken aback: “Always?”

“Yes, Maiden’s Undergarment, Drawers, silk handkerchief, and many other things.”

Xiao Rong spoke matter-of-factly as he carried the medicine box toward her.

His eyes held a trace of thoughtfulness, as if he too was recalling past events.

If he could keep them exclusively for himself, he might not wash them.

But sometimes, if he didn’t return them, there was a risk of discovery.

If they got dirty, they had to be cleaned before returning them to her.

Come to think of it, he had indeed washed them many times.

Si Jin: “…”

Did their household not have any servants? This was too embarrassing.

Because of the lingering embarrassment she couldn’t shake off, even rolling up her pant leg for medicine application tonight didn’t bother her as much.

Before sleep, Xiao Rong told her: “Tomorrow we’ll set off for home. If you feel any discomfort along the way, be sure to tell me. Don’t endure it by yourself.”

He still held her as tightly as yesterday.

His breath spread close to her as he spoke.

Si Jin listened distractedly, her mind occupied with the thought that this must be why she had felt a moment of familiarity when she first woke up and smelled his scent.

Perhaps they had slept this close together every single night in the past.

Even without any memories, her instincts still recognized this familiar scent that always lingered nearby.

She wanted to find more things that could awaken her memories.

Like Xiao Rong’s scent, Xiao Rong’s gaze.

But Si Jin didn’t know where to begin searching, and everything else felt utterly unfamiliar to her.

Her mind wandered with chaotic thoughts, and when her focus settled on one point, she couldn’t help but ask, “What exactly were we arguing about before?”

Xiao Rong fell silent for a moment, his arm tightening around her waist as he replied gently, “When two people are together, conflicts are inevitable. We just argued when emotions ran high.”

“But there must have been a reason, right?”

“Why do you keep asking about this?”

Xiao Rong’s voice was deep and casual, as if making idle conversation.

But Si Jin responded earnestly: “I feel that you’re very good to me—attentive in every way, gentle and considerate. No matter how I think about it, I can’t imagine us arguing to the point where I’d run away from home. And I…”

Si Jin’s words broke off abruptly as her eyes widened in shock.

A shiver-inducing wetness spread across the back of her neck—the sensation of Xiao Rong kissing that spot.

Though called a kiss, it felt more like licking.

“Don’t you…”

Xiao Rong gave another deliberate suck, causing Si Jin’s voice to suddenly change pitch and halt once more.

Just as she caught her breath and prepared to speak again.

A sudden heat at the base of her spine made her breathing tremble.

What was that?

Xiao Rong’s voice turned hoarse: “Whenever you talk to me, I get excited. Let’s sleep. If you keep talking, I won’t be able to hold back anymore.”

His words carried a threatening undertone.

Whether this was the real reason or just to stop her questioning remained unclear.

Si Jin suddenly understood something, her body instinctively wanting to shift away, yet she ended up rubbing against the source of heat.

Her waist was abruptly gripped tightly as Xiao Rong’s hold became somewhat uncontrolled.

His voice grew even deeper: “We haven’t seen each other for a month. I’ve been searching for you all this time.”

Si Jin’s mind buzzed as she finally understood his implication.

They had been married for a year—they should have long since become intimate as husband and wife.

Perhaps this was also a way for her to rediscover familiar feelings, though she didn’t understand why she had no instinctive reactions now.

Was it because of her amnesia? Had she forgotten everything?

Si Jin stiffened completely, ceasing all movement.

After a moment of confused thoughts, she tentatively asked: “Then… what should I do?”

The breathing behind her suddenly grew heavier, rough pants echoing near her neck.

After a long while, Xiao Rong’s raspy voice finally grated near her ear: “What do you want to do?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Just as Xiao Rong had said, it seemed her mere speaking excited him.

No sooner had her words fallen than he bit her again.

Her smooth neck greedily bore his marks.

His teeth ground against her skin with just enough pressure to avoid pain, instead making her entire body go limp, losing all tension and defensive strength.

“Try to remember how we used to do it?”

Xiao Rong acted like a dutiful teacher—patient and guiding, helping her recall how she used to be intimate with her husband, searching for memories that never existed.

Si Jin’s eyelashes fluttered violently. Though he was only touching her neck, she felt as if she were about to be devoured by some indescribable entity.

The physical sensations scattered her thoughts even more—forget remembering, she could barely comprehend her current situation.

Finally unable to bear this inexplicable feeling, she instinctively reached out and grabbed the large hand at her waist, seeking help from the only anchor she could find.

“I can’t remember…”

Unaware that this was precisely the source coiling behind her, waiting to drag her down into dark depths.

Xiao Rong slowly raised his eyes, dark pupils capturing a falling point of light.

He waited with suppressed stillness.

Waiting for her to retreat, waiting for her to flee.

Receiving no response, Si Jin indeed began to confusedly loosen her grip and withdraw.

The moment her fingers left him.

Xiao Rong seized her hand instead, guiding her movement, exploring in the darkness.

“Like this, hold tight.”