Chapter 21 Tight Entanglement, Loose Release, Repeated Over and Over…

Rain fell during the night, pattering steadily against the windowsill, the splashes quickly swallowed by the darkness.

In her ears echoed sounds rougher and more urgent than the rain.

Si Jin kept her eyes closed, her lashes trembling uncontrollably.

Her responses were clumsy and unpracticed.

Several times, the sounds coming from behind her made it unclear whether it was from pain or something else.

Whenever she hesitated about moving… Xiao Rong would immediately press down on her wrist.

He kissed the nape of her neck, his touch not forceful, as if coaxing or pleading, yet leaving her no room to struggle free.

Amid the increasingly heavy rain outside, Si Jin felt as if she were about to be submerged, only finally surfacing after what seemed like an eternity.

The rain gradually eased, occasionally dripping intermittently, slowly returning the night to silence.

The moment the candle was lit in the room.

Si Jin instinctively pulled up the covers, trying to hide her flushed cheeks.

Xiao Rong’s light voice came from nearby, tinged with a lazy satisfaction: “Don’t move around, or you might dirty the bedding.”

Si Jin’s sore and weak arm instantly tensed again, and she held it suspended, not daring to move.

Soon, as her trembling hand was about to give way, Xiao Rong caught it. A warm, damp touch met her fingertips, making her want to shrink back again.

Only then did she realize that Xiao Rong was using a damp cotton cloth to wipe her hand.

Xiao Rong’s movements were gentle and meticulous, a stark contrast to his earlier demeanor.

Once her hand was cleaned, her embarrassment seemed to fade somewhat.

With most of her face buried in the covers, only her round almond eyes peeked out to look at Xiao Rong: “Why do I have no memory of what just happened? My mind is a mess, and I can’t recall anything.”

Xiao Rong paused, his gaze falling on her freshly cleaned palm—fair and delicate, without any trace of exertion, as flawless as a priceless piece of porcelain.

Indeed, this was far from enough.

He still wanted to entangle her tightly at all times, to imprint her upon him, every inch of her.

Xiao Rong lowered his gaze, licking the dryness from his lips, and replied calmly: “How could you remember? We don’t often do such things.”

Si Jin was taken aback, then met Xiao Rong’s gaze as he looked up.

His dark eyes seemed to conceal some hidden intent, tempting her to probe deeper yet making her hesitate to venture further.

Xiao Rong: “We are husband and wife. What we usually do goes far beyond this.”

Si Jin blinked in surprise, taking a moment to process his words.

That did make sense.

While she was still digesting her astonishment, Xiao Rong casually tossed the used cotton cloth into the basin and turned to climb onto the bed.

Si Jin quickly snapped back to attention and pushed him away: “Don’t come up yet. You haven’t washed your hands.”

“Didn’t I wash them when I rinsed the cloth just now?”

“But you touched my hand when you wiped it. You need to wash them again.”

“Wiping your hand is the same as washing my own, isn’t it?”

“No.”

Si Jin tightened the covers around herself, her voice muffled and soft, lacking any force: “Just wash them again, and the cloth too. And put out the candle. Only come back to bed once everything’s done.”

Xiao Rong was silent for a moment before letting out a light laugh. Obediently, he got up and busied himself with the tasks.

Si Jin watched his retreating figure quietly from within the shelter of her covers.

The scene before her eyes seemed unfamiliar; she couldn’t recall any memory of gazing at him like this.

Even the intimate moments from earlier—shy and tender—were fading from her mind, as if not only were they rare occurrences as he had claimed, but more like they had never happened at all, and this time was the very first.

By the time the candle in the room was extinguished, it took only a breath before Xiao Rong’s presence returned to her side.

He moved onto the bed, his hand naturally resting on her waist as he turned her onto her side, then held her tightly from behind.

Si Jin felt a warmth spread across her back as Xiao Rong’s scent enveloped her completely, overwhelming and close.

She couldn’t say she was used to such closeness, but she wasn’t as tense as before either.

Moreover, if she ignored the persistent warmth from behind, this side-lying posture felt quite comfortable, as if she could fall asleep quickly just by closing her eyes.

Si Jin couldn’t help but ask, “Did I always prefer sleeping on my side like this before?”

It took a while before a response came from behind.

Xiao Rong only murmured a low “Mm.”

Thinking he might be tired, Si Jin didn’t press further and mumbled to herself, “No wonder you always hold me from behind.”

Unseen by her, a pair of eyes behind remained wide awake the entire time, boldly tracing the contours so near, unabashedly inhaling the fragrance from her neck.

A faint, almost imperceptible kiss landed in her hair, making her shiver slightly as if tickled, but with nowhere to hide, she could only nestle deeper into the curve of his arm, pressing closer into his embrace.

The next day, the sky was cloudless after rain, clear and washed clean.

Si Jin set off early with Xiao Rong.

In the days since she had awakened, she had been resting at the inn, and this was the first time she had stepped outside.

Sitting in the carriage, Si Jin couldn’t resist lifting the curtain to gaze out the window.

This was a modest, small town with limited terrain.

The town had only one dirt road, winding its way through the entire area. Beyond it stretched mountain paths as far as the eye could see, requiring a trek over the surrounding mountains to reach other inhabited places.

Si Jin had no memory of this place and couldn’t imagine why she had run off in a huff to such a remote spot.

Had she intended to cut ties with Xiao Rong completely, choosing a secluded place far from the bustle?

If that were the case, the reason for their argument must have been extremely serious, not as lightly dismissed as Xiao Rong had described.

As she watched the town road coming to an end, Si Jin, finding no answers, turned back.

In an instant, she met Xiao Rong’s gaze fixed directly on her.

Startled, she paused the question on her lips and instead asked, “Why are you staring at me again?”

Xiao Rong countered without answering, “Can’t I look?”

Si Jin: “…”

It wasn’t that he couldn’t, but who stares at someone like that all the time?

It was as if his gaze followed her everywhere; whenever she glanced up, she’d meet his eyes.

Did he like her that much?

Si Jin’s cheeks flushed with warmth, and she quickly dismissed the embarrassing speculation.

They were husband and wife, after all; it wasn’t strange for affection to blossom between them.

If he wanted to look, then let him.

Convincing herself to grow accustomed to his gaze, Si Jin redirected her thoughts to her earlier confusion.

“How far is this place from the capital? How long will our journey take?”

In truth, Si Jin wished she could directly ask about the reason for their argument.

But she had already asked this question no less than three times since waking up, and each time Xiao Rong had brushed it off as a common marital quarrel.

It seemed to be a painful memory for him. Whenever she brought it up, he would lower his head with a melancholic expression, making her reluctant to press further.

However, since her angry departure from home was such a significant event, surely others besides Xiao Rong must know about it.

Not only did they know about it, but they likely knew more about her past as well.

Si Jin didn’t know what she had been thinking when she left the capital back then. All she knew now was that she desperately wanted to return to that place quickly.

Xiao Rong replied, “About half a month.”

“So soon?!”

Si Jin blinked in astonishment. “But I was told I’ve been away from the capital for a month already. I thought the return journey would take longer.”

Xiao Rong chuckled softly, taking her hand in his palm. “Who knows? Perhaps when you left, you wandered around lost, but in reality, you were waiting for me to find you and bring you home?”

Upon hearing this, Si Jin immediately felt embarrassed.

There seemed to be some truth to his words.

Even after years of loving marriage, a heated argument could lead to impulsive actions. An angry departure didn’t necessarily mean truly wanting to end the relationship.

Her mind began to wander: if she had been gone longer, if she had gone to a more distant place, would Xiao Rong still have found her?

Xiao Rong suddenly spoke up, “I would never fail to find you. No matter how far you go, I will always find you.”

Si Jin immediately covered her mouth in panic.

Had she unconsciously voiced her thoughts aloud?

But she quickly realized she hadn’t spoken.

Then how did Xiao Rong know what she was thinking?

As Si Jin turned her head in confusion to look at him,

the carriage suddenly jolted. Xiao Rong’s arm reached out, smoothly pulling her entire body into his embrace.

Xiao Rong’s arms were sturdy, his shoulders broad. Si Jin’s frame seemed petite before him, easily enveloped in his embrace, which also blocked her view of his face.

Unyielding, Si Jin still lifted her head from his chest to look.

Xiao Rong happened to lower his head as well, openly letting her gaze into his eyes.

Si Jin’s expression froze, her thoughts seemingly sucked into those dark pupils.

She looked into his eyes, seeing her own reflection in them, and gradually relaxed her body after a long moment.

Leaning against Xiao Rong’s chest, Si Jin listened to his steady heartbeat—the only sound in her vast, empty mind.

Everywhere else was pitch-black darkness. She couldn’t discern the path ahead, but she could follow this sound to find where the light would appear.

Xiao Rong’s voice came from above her head: “Were you still thinking about why you left in anger earlier?”

He actually brought up the subject himself.

“Are you going to tell me now?”

Si Jin watched as a strand of her hair falling over her chest was slowly picked up by Xiao Rong, then wrapped around his slender fingers.

The strands coiled more and more, tighter and tighter.

“My answer remains the same as before. But after we return home, to the place we’ve shared our lives, when you hear from others around us, perhaps you’ll believe that we really just had an argument.”

Si Jin unconsciously curled her fingers, clutching the fabric of Xiao Rong’s clothing at his waist.

Once again, he had seen through what she was thinking and spoken it aloud.

Her curled fingers gradually relaxed. Si Jin simply stretched her arms to loosely encircle Xiao Rong’s waist, whispering softly, “I think so too. Perhaps I might recall something else along the way. Let’s hurry back.”

The entangled strands of hair curled to their limit, completely covering his finger.

As Si Jin finished speaking, the hair lost its support and instantly scattered from his fingertips.

Xiao Rong lowered his gaze, watching her hair strands desperately slip away from his fingers.

His eyes darkened as he reached out to seize that lock again, winding it once more.

Tightly coiled, loosely fallen – this cycle repeated without cease.

As if determined to trap someone in an inescapable entanglement.

The girl in his arms had unknowingly closed her eyes, nestling obediently against his chest in deep sleep, completely unaware that the hair before her was being twisted into curls, disturbed into trembling.

That day, they crossed the high mountain outside the town and reached the city behind it by dusk.

Si Jin was astonished that just beyond the mountain stood a prosperous city completely different from the simple town, and somewhat believed that with this level of prosperity, they must indeed be close to the capital.

Sitting in the carriage, Si Jin watched the street scenes outside the window with curiosity, simultaneously trying to recall whether she might have passed through here on her journey.

Xiao Rong spoke from behind: “Don’t bother thinking. You didn’t come through here.”

Si Jin turned her head: “Really? I thought to reach that town, one had to leave the city from here and climb the mountain.”

“No, there’s another mountain path on the other side of the mountain. You came from that direction.”

“…Oh.” Si Jin nodded without any recollection, unsure which side this “other side” referred to.

After responding, she continued watching outside the window, still seemingly interested in the street scenes here.

Xiao Rong let her lean out, only placing a protective arm loosely around her waist to prevent her from bumping due to the carriage’s jolts.

He didn’t tell her that precisely because this place was prosperous, she wouldn’t have chosen this route when escaping.

The mountain path on the other side was not only rugged but also took many detours.

Not just this section – from the moment she left the capital, he had followed her trail through nothing but remote and barren places.

“What’s wrong?” Si Jin suddenly turned again, meeting Xiao Rong’s seemingly heavy gaze.

Though he was still staring directly at her, his expression differed from his usual way of looking at her.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Xiao Rong’s gaze didn’t waver, his voice very soft as if casually mentioning something unimportant, yet his eyes grew increasingly profound.

“Nothing. I was just thinking that if you ever leave home again, you should take smoother roads – it would be much easier.”

Si Jin was momentarily stunned by these words, but found herself following Xiao Rong’s tone toward playful banter.

“You actually expect me to storm off from home again?”

Xiao Rong chuckled lowly: “What if?”

Si Jin suddenly asked with some concern: “Was I a very hot-tempered person before?”

“No.”

“Did we argue often?”

“No.”

Si Jin looked at Xiao Rong suspiciously, though she didn’t quite believe him.

If it were truly just an ordinary marital quarrel, yet she impulsively stormed off from home, prompting her husband to travel so far to retrieve her, and he was already preparing for her next departure before they even returned home…

Wouldn’t that mean she must have been an ill-tempered person who frequently made unreasonable demands?

Xiao Rong suddenly reached out and gently brushed her cheek. “Don’t overthink it. Your temperament is excellent—you’re the finest person under heaven.”

He gazed deeply at her, his eyes filled with sincerity as he spoke these words.

Si Jin’s face instantly flushed with warmth.

She still couldn’t quite naturally handle intimacy with Xiao Rong.

Whether it was a lover’s sweet words or the gentle touch of fingertips.

Fortunately, the carriage came to a halt just then.

Xiao Rong withdrew his hand and glanced out the window. “We’ve arrived. We’ll stay here tonight.”

They lodged at an inn in the northern part of the city.

Though slightly quieter due to its proximity to the city gate and distance from the bustling center, it was convenient for their departure the next day.

After bathing, Si Jin returned to her room, expecting it to be time for Xiao Rong to apply her medicine again.

But upon opening the door, she encountered Xiao Rong about to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“There’s some official business I need to attend to.”

Si Jin was taken aback. “Now? Here?”

“I’ve been away from the capital for a month. Some matters require immediate correspondence to arrange. If I wait until returning, it’ll be too late. It’s just minor affairs—I’ll be back soon.”

Si Jin wondered why, if it was merely about writing letters to delegate tasks, he couldn’t do it in their room instead of going out.

But before she could voice her thoughts, Xiao Rong lightly stroked her cheek and strode away.

Belatedly, Si Jin raised a hand to cover her face.

Really, did he always use this method to divert her attention?

At dusk, the evening glow elongated a dark shadow before the door.

Xiao Rong raised a hand, signaling the visitor to enter.

Two figures remained silhouetted against the door for a long time until the last vestiges of sunset faded, when someone finally opened the door and emerged.

The sky had completely darkened.

Xiao Rong’s face was shrouded in shadows cast by the dimly lit corridor of the inn.

The gloom lent a sinister cast to his features, his entire demeanor exuding a chilling coldness. Two passersby who happened to cross his path inadvertently glanced up and instantly held their breath, quickening their steps to avoid him, not daring another look.

Before he reached the room at the end of the corridor, its door opened from within.

Xiao Rong’s expression paused slightly as his gaze fell upon a dark head peeking out.

Then, illuminated by the light, Si Jin’s lovely face appeared, brimming with delight. “You’re back!”

Xiao Rong’s eyes darkened further, but his steps quickened. In a few strides, he reached her, just as she chirped brightly, as if boasting, “I heard footsteps in the corridor and guessed it was you. When I opened the door, there you were!”

Xiao Rong’s throat moved as he suppressed his breath, steadying his voice. “So you were intently waiting for me?”

“No…” Si Jin’s instinctive denial caught in her throat—she couldn’t deny that she hadn’t been waiting.

But the way he said it made her feel somewhat embarrassed.

She muttered softly, “It’s just that there was nothing else to do.”

Xiao Rong seemed to chuckle faintly, the sound too quiet to discern clearly.

He took her by the shoulders and guided her inside.

As the door closed, he naturally lowered his gaze to her and halted.

Si Jin looked up at him in response. “Why did you stop?”

The bright candlelight in the room cast a soft, warm glow upon her face.

Her complexion was fair, yet her lips were strikingly crimson, accentuating her already radiant features in a way that inevitably drew attention. Their delicate, full shape alone hinted at their softness.

Xiao Rong did not answer her, but under her guileless gaze, he suddenly reached out, his thumb landing directly on that rosy softness.

Si Jin felt a burning warmth at her lips before she could react.

Then she heard Xiao Rong ask, “Where did this come from?”

“What?”

“The crisp cake.”

Xiao Rong’s thumb traced the curve of her lips, the granular texture making her aware of the crumbs lingering there.

Si Jin flushed with embarrassment, her cheeks threatening to redden, yet she tilted her head slightly, allowing him to cradle her face as she answered truthfully, “The innkeeper gave it to me. He said every guest room received a portion.”

Xiao Rong watched her with an unreadable gleam in his eyes for a moment longer before his thumb brushed away the crumbs, preparing to withdraw.

Suddenly, Si Jin pressed her hand over his.

“Can you repeat what you just said?”

“What part?”

Si Jin pursed her lips, then decisively grasped Xiao Rong’s thumb, guiding it back to her lips.

The rough pad of his thumb rested at the corner of her mouth, the motion unsteady under her control, tracing and pressing until her full lips yielded to a slight indentation.

His fingertip grew damp from her lips, then spread the moisture as he stroked, glossing them with a dewy sheen.

The slow movement kindled a subtle, intimate warmth.

As Si Jin looked up, her gaze meeting the darkness in Xiao Rong’s eyes, a fleeting image seemed to surface in her mind.

“Was it good?”

“If you like it, I’ll have someone buy more for you, so you can try different flavors.”

Si Jin parted her lips to speak, the movement nearly dislodging Xiao Rong’s thumb.

Abruptly, Xiao Rong tightened his grip on her chin, forcing her head higher.

The shadow looming before her erased the emerging image from her mind, and the words she meant to say were swallowed the next instant.

The heat of his lips against hers surpassed the touch of his thumb.

After a brief contact, Xiao Rong’s control slipped. He seized her waist, pressing her firmly against the door, and lowered his head to kiss her more deeply.

His urgency carried a roughness as he forced her lips apart, capturing her retreating tongue.

It was an almost suffocating invasion, aggressively eroding Si Jin’s reason until her mind went blank.

The hand gripping her chin slid to her slender neck, asserting an even more dominant hold.

Xiao Rong pressed the nape of her neck, pulling her forcefully against him, leaving no room for retreat.

Si Jin felt as if she were being devoured.

Her tongue grew numb from his suction, their mingled saliva turning the kiss into a wet, fervent exchange. His ragged breath seared her, setting her entire body ablaze.

Tears soon clouded her vision, and the thunderous beating of her heart—or perhaps his—drowned out all else.

Only when her instinct for air made her turn her head away from his lips did she collapse against his chest, struggling to regain her breath.

The pounding heartbeat in her ears grew louder.

Her legs felt weak, as if ready to give way, but an arm around her waist held her firmly, allowing her to lean entirely into its support.

After a deeply lingering kiss ended, it actually gave her a feeling of having narrowly escaped death.

Had she always kissed Xiao Rong like this before?

Si Jin unconsciously lifted her gaze, her eyes shimmering with watery light, reflecting a face blurred by intense desire.

In the blink of an eye, a hoarse voice whispered by her ear: “Still want more.”

Her neck was once again seized by a hand as Xiao Rong lowered his head and captured her lips in another fierce kiss.