Chapter 22

“Remembered anything yet?”

Si Jin’s spine still tingled with numbness, her tongue nearly senseless. When her lips were captured and sucked again, her instinct was to retreat.

But Xiao Rong’s strength left her completely immobilized.

Fortunately, this time his kiss was gentle.

As if aware he had frightened her earlier, or perhaps having gulped down his prize, he now began to savor it slowly.

He suckled her lower lip, his tongue lightly tracing her pearly teeth before venturing inside once more.

The once turbulent kiss turned lingering and sticky, like calm waters on the surface, yet drowning in its depths remained an irresistible suffocation.

Si Jin only felt her body growing softer, her hands unconsciously clinging to Xiao Rong’s chest, fingers curling to clutch his garments.

The ambiguous wet sounds continuously churned in her ears. Though merely a kiss, it made her feel as if she’d been utterly devoured from head to toe.

The lingering kiss lasted a long while before finally ceasing.

Si Jin heard Xiao Rong ask hoarsely, “Remembered anything yet?”

Her mind remained foggy, her breath still uneven—how could she possibly sort through her thoughts?

Pressing against Xiao Rong’s chest, she shook her head. A soft chuckle seemed to drift from above, then vanished instantly—perhaps she’d misheard.

Si Jin hugged a water cup, curling her legs as she nestled on the sitting couch, waiting for Xiao Rong to prepare medicine for her wounds.

Her dark eyes fixed intently on the man’s tall, straight back, occasionally taking small sips of warm water before extending her tongue to lick her slightly swollen lips.

Still no recollection.

That mind-numbing kiss earlier hadn’t evoked even the faint familiarity brought by the crumb that had clung to her lip corner.

Tilting her head in thought, Si Jin suddenly asked, “Did you buy me crisp cakes before?”

Xiao Rong’s movements stilled momentarily.

Without turning, he resumed his tasks and replied mildly, “Why do you ask?”

Si Jin pouted and took another sip of water.

The warm liquid diluted the tastes in her mouth, or perhaps the remembered flavor of crisp cakes had already been swept away by Xiao Rong’s overwhelming kiss.

Suddenly unable to recapture that earlier sense of familiarity, Si Jin simply shook her head and didn’t pursue the question further, just as Xiao Rong approached with the prepared medical kit.

Obediently, Si Jin rolled up her sleeves.

Over the past few days, the wounds on her limbs had improved significantly, with some smaller injuries already scabbed over, no longer requiring medication.

Yet Xiao Rong’s meticulous and gentle application spared her any trouble or pain, making the process entirely unburdensome.

After tending to the wounds on her arms, Xiao Rong knelt before the sitting couch.

Si Jin glanced down and noticed something within Xiao Rong’s sleeve from her vantage point.

Frowning in puzzlement, she grasped his sleeve before he could reach to roll up her pant leg.

Xiao Rong looked up, but before he could speak, Si Jin had already pushed up his sleeve.

When she saw what lay beneath, Si Jin gasped sharply.

“This… this is… how did this happen?Xiao Rong remained motionless, allowing the hideous ugly scar on his arm to be exposed before Si Jin.

After a moment of silence, he finally asked, “Remembered anything yet?”

His tone was calm, his expression unruffled, as if he were merely using past traces to help her recover lost memories, just like after he had fiercely kissed her moments earlier.

Si Jin slightly parted her lips as she stared at the scar, nearly forgetting to breathe.

She hesitantly shook her head, recalling nothing about it.

She quickly pressed further: “When did this happen? How were you injured? How could it be so severe?”

“During this year’s Mid-Autumn Festival, while we were strolling through the Lantern Festival together, a lantern stand from a street-side shop lost balance and collapsed. The fire spread and burned the shop, and in the chaos, I was accidentally injured.”

Si Jin’s pupils trembled with shock. Hearing Xiao Rong’s light and casual tone, she didn’t know whether to be angry or heartbroken.

She had no memory of the incident at all, only the scar that now vividly appeared before her eyes.

The wound had already healed, but the scar was nearly as long as Xiao Rong’s forearm, leaving only a fierce mark different from his original skin, making it impossible to tell how deep the initial injury had been.

There were also some scars on the side of his arm that seemed unable to fully heal after being burned, matching what Xiao Rong had said about the fire.

Yet, since they had been attending the Lantern Festival together, she hadn’t found any past injuries on her own body.

Si Jin had a faint suspicion in her heart, but she didn’t ask.

She reached out her finger and carefully touched a corner of the scar on Xiao Rong’s arm, her voice so soft it was almost inaudible: “Does it still hurt?”

As soon as she finished speaking, Xiao Rong abruptly pulled down his sleeve, avoiding Si Jin’s finger and blocking her view at the same time.

Si Jin looked up in confusion and saw Xiao Rong’s seemingly helpless expression: “It’s been a while now, of course it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“But it must have been very painful back then.”

Xiao Rong suddenly stood up. His towering figure blocked most of the light, casting darkness before Si Jin’s eyes. Only then did she realize that the medicine had been applied to the wound on her leg.

Before she could reach down to pull up her rolled pant leg, Xiao Rong leaned over, pressing down on her and making her instinctively lean back against the couch’s backrest.

With no room left to retreat, Xiao Rong pressed close against her. He pinned her beneath him, cupped her face with his large hand, and began pecking kisses on her lips.

Si Jin opened her mouth, about to speak, when he sensually licked her lips.

“You’re worried about me again.”

Si Jin froze, her face heating up, but her attention wasn’t at all on Xiao Rong’s sticky kisses.

She pushed him slightly, creating a small gap to whisper: “What do you mean, ‘again’?”

Xiao Rong lowered his gaze to conceal the desire in his eyes, turning his head to kiss from her lips all the way to behind her ear, mumbling his response: “Right after I got injured, you worried about me once before.”

Hearing this, Si Jin frowned slightly. The current kisses weren’t as suffocating and confusing as before, but the continuous, dense sensations and the tingling from his tongue licking her skin still left her thoughts muddled.

She only felt that Xiao Rong’s words sounded somewhat strange.

He had suffered such a severe injury, possibly because of her—how could she not have worried about him?

But weren’t they husband and wife?

Even if it weren’t for this reason, hadn’t there been other times when she worried about him?

Si Jin had only a moment for these thoughts before her tongue was captured by Xiao Rong. He tangled with her, demanding her response, gently biting her lips until she could no longer think clearly.

After seven consecutive days of travel, thanks to Si Jin’s urging, they were only a few days away from reaching the border of the capital.

But the weather took a turn for the worse—a heavy rain began to fall, continuous and showing no signs of stopping.

With poor visibility on rainy days, the accompanying guards and servants also suffered, forcing them to temporarily stop and wait for the rain to cease before continuing their journey.

Si Jin lay listlessly against the windowsill of the inn room. Not only could they not travel now, but she also had nowhere else to go.

Xiao Rong had gone off again to attend to official duties, leaving her alone in the room for nearly two hours.

Actually, the rain had lightened considerably by now. Even if they couldn’t resume their journey, she could probably take an umbrella and stroll around the streets—anything would be better than sitting here with nothing to do.

But for some reason, Si Jin faintly sensed that Xiao Rong wouldn’t allow her to go out.

This thought felt strange, tinged with an abnormal distortion.

She wasn’t a child, much less a prisoner. Even without her memories, she shouldn’t be incapable of walking the streets alone. Besides, Xiao Rong had never explicitly forbidden her from doing so.

So why did such a thought occur to her?

How peculiar—it was as if her subconscious believed Xiao Rong would inevitably restrict her freedom.

Just as Si Jin was lost in these chaotic thoughts, a sound came from the door.

Turning at the noise, she saw the very person she’d been thinking about appear before her.

“Are you finished with your work?”

“Mm.” Xiao Rong entered the room, casually closing the door behind him.

But the door wasn’t shut completely, merely left ajar as if he planned to leave again soon.

Si Jin couldn’t help frowning slightly: “Do you have other matters to attend to later?”

Xiao Rong made another affirmative sound, his long strides quickly bringing him before her.

Si Jin opened her mouth to speak, but in that instant, Xiao Rong lowered his head and sealed her lips with his own.

How dare he kiss her again!

Si Jin immediately tried to turn her face away, but the back of her head was firmly held in place by a large hand.

Only after Xiao Rong had thoroughly kissed her inside and out did he release her lips, still holding her in his embrace.

“We’ll go out together later.”

Xiao Rong’s voice was slightly hoarse after the kiss, carrying a hint of appeasement as if worried he might have angered her.

Si Jin’s attention was indeed diverted: “Together? Where are we going?”

“Weren’t you feeling bored staying in the inn? The rain has lightened now, and there’s a Flower and Bird Market nearby. We can go take a look.”

Si Jin’s eyes lit up, and she immediately straightened in Xiao Rong’s embrace.

Then she realized something: “Was I interested in this before?”

Xiao Rong gave her an unreadable look for a moment before smiling gently: “You could say so. You’ve always been curious about new things.”

If Xiao Rong hadn’t mentioned it now, Si Jin truly wouldn’t have known she had such interest in flowers and birds.

It felt like learning something new about herself. Though no memories surfaced, she still felt pleased.

“When shall we leave?”

“If you wish, we can go now.”

Si Jin went out onto the street with Xiao Rong, her heart filled with joy.

Just moments ago she had been convinced Xiao Rong wouldn’t let her go out, yet without her even asking, her wish had been granted.

The gloom lifted completely—even the wet, rainy day became less disagreeable.

“Have we been to a Flower and Bird Market together before?”

She often asked Xiao Rong questions about their past these days.

Though no matter what answers he gave, they never sparked any recollection.

“No.” Xiao Rong tilted the umbrella, checking from the corner of his eye that no rainwater would drip from the edge onto Si Jin before continuing, “We’ve never visited a Flower and Bird Market together. Today will be our first time.”

Si Jin was surprised: “Why not?”

Xiao Rong paused in his steps, gently pulling Si Jin to a stop as well.

Si Jin lowered her gaze and only then noticed the puddle of water before them—she had nearly stepped right into it.

After bypassing the puddle, Xiao Rong finally replied softly, “You didn’t bring me along.”

Si Jin grew even more astonished, feeling as though she detected a hint of grievance in Xiao Rong’s tone.

This, in turn, made her somewhat embarrassed.

“Why wouldn’t I bring you along?”

The curtain of rain beneath the umbrella blurred the distant Flower and Bird Market, and from this distance, its details remained indistinct.

Xiao Rong murmured pensively, “Perhaps you just didn’t want to.”

Si Jin was taken aback, unable to pinpoint the emotion that surged within her upon hearing those words.

Though Xiao Rong’s remark seemed baseless and inconsistent with their usually affectionate relationship, she couldn’t help but feel it might hold some truth.

Before she could ponder further, they had already reached the entrance of the Flower and Bird Market.

The market buzzed with more liveliness than the incessant rain on the streets, quickly capturing Si Jin’s attention.

“Winter is approaching soon. Even here in the Flower and Bird Market, there are fewer green plants and flowers. Let’s see if there’s anything you like.”

“If I find something I fancy, can we take it home?”

“Of course.” Si Jin nodded thoughtfully, her eyes scanning the stalls on either side selling various flowers and plants, muttering under her breath, “It seems I used to be quite skilled at gardening.”

As her words faded, a soft chuckle sounded beside her.

Si Jin turned to see Xiao Rong’s eyes slightly curved, clearly amused at her expense.

“What are you laughing at? Isn’t that true?”

Xiao Rong recalled the pot of Narcissus in Si Jin’s room.

“Nothing. Buy whatever you like—I’ll take care of them.”

Si Jin instantly understood: it turned out she had been the type to purchase plants but never tend to them.

“What did I used to keep at home?”

“Just a pot of Narcissus for now. You rarely brought plants back from the market.”

So it seemed she hadn’t been a gardener at all, but someone who knew well enough that she lacked the patience for nurturing plants, merely enjoying the novelty of browsing.

With this realization, Si Jin lost interest in buying anything there.

Since they were only strolling to pass the time, she and Xiao Rong held hands and wandered aimlessly through the market.

Unexpectedly, however, she didn’t end up leaving empty-handed.

It was a fledgling bird, entirely white-feathered and no larger than a palm, yet half its body was covered in injuries.

“This bird—who knows if it’s clever or foolish? Instead of staying in its warm cage, it managed to open the latch and tried to escape when I wasn’t looking. It hadn’t even learned to walk properly before attempting to fly, and now it’s half-dead from the fall. There’s nothing I can do,” described the vendor in a corner of the bird market.

Si Jin felt deeply unsettled by his words.

As if in defiance, the barely breathing little bird struggled to flutter its injured wing after the vendor spoke, but the pain quickly drained its energy, leaving it even weaker than before.

“Let’s take it home, okay?”

Hearing this, the vendor tried to dissuade them, “It’s just a fledgling, and it fell hard. Unlike mature birds, its injuries may not look severe, but it probably won’t survive past toda—”

Before he could finish, a piece of broken silver was placed silently on the table.

Xiao Rong’s gaze was calm yet penetrating, his expression neutral, but it made the vendor shudder instantly, swallowing the rest of his words until no sound emerged.

The injured little bird was eventually taken back to the inn by Si Jin, along with the cage from which it had initially escaped.

After returning to the inn, Xiao Rong used the medical kit he usually employed to treat Si Jin’s wounds to tend to the bird’s injured wing. The newly arranged cage appeared clean and tidy, and by then, the bird was too weak to attempt another escape, lying silently inside.

Si Jin leaned over the cage, her voice muffled as she asked, “Do you think it will pull through?”

“If it survives the night, it should be fine.”

“Why did it try to escape? If it hadn’t, it wouldn’t be so badly injured now. Wouldn’t it be better to stay peacefully in the cage?”

The room, which had been filled with faint rustling sounds, suddenly fell into silence.

At first, Si Jin didn’t notice, but when no reply came for a while, she turned her head to look at Xiao Rong.

Meeting her gaze, Xiao Rong let out a low chuckle. “Indeed, why try to escape? Isn’t it better to stay peacefully in the cage?”

But Si Jin quickly reconsidered. “Birds are sensitive creatures. It must have tried to escape because the shopkeeper treated it poorly. It wasn’t a peaceful cage—it was a prison of suffering, both physically and emotionally.”

With these words, the room fell silent again.

Si Jin noticed Xiao Rong’s inscrutable expression. His gaze shifted from the bird in the cage to her face, and his eyes grew even darker, carrying an unsettling intensity.

“…Did I go too far?” Si Jin hesitated. “It probably isn’t that serious. It’s just a little bird, after all.”

Xiao Rong slowly averted his gaze and looked back at the cage.

Once he was no longer staring at her, the oppressive atmosphere seemed to dissipate, though his mood remained somber, his eyes shadowed.

But then Xiao Rong asked proactively, “If it survives tomorrow, do you plan to keep it?”

“Of course,” Si Jin replied without hesitation. “We’ve already decided to buy it, so we must take good care of it.”

After saying this, she recalled that she had often been the type to acquire things without taking responsibility for them.

She looked at Xiao Rong pleadingly and asked softly, “You’ll help me raise it, won’t you?”

Xiao Rong let out a light, amused hum, as if teasing her again, though he didn’t seem entirely opposed. “Then shall we give it a name?”

Si Jin and Xiao Rong both looked at the bird.

After a long pause, she declared seriously, “Let’s call it Xiao Bai.”

Xiao Rong raised an eyebrow in surprise but nodded. “Alright, as you wish.”

With the bird named, Si Jin leaned over the cage again.

After watching it quietly for a moment, she spoke once more. “What if we were both wrong? What if the shopkeeper didn’t treat Xiao Bai poorly, and it simply dislikes being caged? Once it recovers, will it try to escape again?”

Xiao Rong fell silent once more.

The room was so quiet that Si Jin began to feel as though her casual remarks were somehow unsettling the atmosphere.

But soon, Xiao Rong strode over, holding something in his hand, and fastened it to the cage door.

“If she wishes to escape, we simply need to find a way to keep her here.”

His voice was cool and detached, devoid of any emotional fluctuation, as if stating a simple, ordinary fact.

Yet as he spoke, Si Jin watched in astonishment as Xiao Rong wrapped a copper wire around the cage’s lock, coiling it layer by layer until the door was tightly secured. With this, the bird in the cage truly had no chance of escape.

Si Jin stared blankly and asked, “So your solution is to lock it up tightly?”

“Or, let her make the choice herself.” Xiao Rong suddenly looked up at Si Jin, “If she runs away, we’ll just find her again.”

A strange feeling instantly arose in Si Jin’s heart. She hesitated before turning her head, finally meeting Xiao Rong’s dark eyes.

Her heartbeat inexplicably skipped a beat, then began pounding wildly, though she didn’t know why she felt so unsettled.

After staying there for three days, the weather finally cleared, and they continued their journey.

Despite some delays, they still arrived in the capital several days earlier than the half-month estimate.

Si Jin had been excited since early morning, eagerly watching out the carriage window from the moment they entered the city, waiting for the carriage to reach the residence she shared with Xiao Rong.

Throughout this journey, she had passed through unfamiliar places and met unfamiliar people. Aside from the slight sense of familiarity Xiao Rong occasionally evoked in her, she found no traces that could help recover her memories.

At each place they passed, Xiao Rong would tell her that she had never been there before, and that this wasn’t the route she had taken when leaving home.

At first, Si Jin wondered why the return route was completely different from the outgoing one. It seemed as if Xiao Rong was deliberately avoiding the paths she had previously traveled.

But then it occurred to her – her original journey had taken a month, while the return trip only took about ten days. Perhaps she had been the one who took detours originally.

It seemed she really hadn’t run too far away in her anger.

Just as Xiao Rong had said, perhaps deep down she had been waiting for him to come bring her home.

Finally arriving at a place with more people she knew and traces of her past life, Si Jin was filled with anticipation, eager to remember something soon.

But when she arrived at the entrance of Xiao Residence and looked at the plaque above the main gate with its flowing, elegant calligraphy, no sense of familiarity arose in her mind at all.

Xiao Rong waited by the carriage for her. Seeing her bending to step out, he extended his hand.

Si Jin placed her hand in Xiao Rong’s large palm. No sooner had she steadied herself beside him than faint but delighted voices came from within the residence: “Madam is back! Madam and the Lord have arrived, quickly!”

Si Jin tilted her head to look, though the people in the distance hadn’t yet reached the gate.

She asked Xiao Rong quietly: “Are they the maids who served me before?”

Xiao Rong gave a slight nod.

He had previously told her that to avoid unnecessary trouble, he had only informed two trusted maids from her courtyard about her memory loss. These were likely the two.

Si Jin quickly said: “Then let’s go in quickly. I want to meet them.”

But before Si Jin could take a step, Xiao Rong pulled her hand, keeping her in place.

“Though I’d very much like to accompany you while you reacquaint yourself with our home, I’ve accumulated many affairs during this month away. Now that we’ve reached the capital, I need to immediately handle the matters I previously arranged.”

Si Jin wasn’t surprised by this.

Although Xiao Rong hadn’t elaborated on his duties, she had gathered some understanding from his descriptions.

He seemed to be an extremely important figure in the capital. Since her willful departure had already delayed him for over a month, how could she delay him further?

Si Jin: “Since this is our residence, I’m home. I’ll be fine on my own.”

These words seemed to please Xiao Rong greatly, bringing a smile to his lips: “I’ll return by evening. Will you wait to have dinner with me?”

Si Jin: “Yes, I’ll wait for you. You should go now.”

After entering the residence, Si Jin met the two maids who had called out so joyfully earlier.

The two women appeared both delighted and moved, as if they hadn’t seen her for a long time and were now overwhelmed with emotion at the reunion.

Si Jin looked at their faces but couldn’t recall any memories, which left her feeling somewhat disheartened.

Nevertheless, for now, she asked them to lead her to her former residence first.

“Madam has always lived in Qiu Shui Courtyard, separated from the master’s Songlan Courtyard only by a small path.”

Si Jin was surprised: “I don’t live with my husband?”

Xiao Rong had never mentioned this matter to her before.

The two women both smiled faintly.

One of them said, “The master spends twenty days each month in Qiu Shui Courtyard, and the remaining ten days he is away on official business. Only Songlan Courtyard remains empty all year round, allowing its servants to live quite leisurely.”

Upon hearing this, Si Jin’s face grew slightly warm. She lowered her gaze and continued walking forward, thinking to herself that this indeed matched the clinginess she had felt from Xiao Rong during their half-month journey.

But if that was the case, why didn’t they simply move into the same courtyard together?

“That direction leads to Songlan Courtyard. Further back is the master’s study, where the mistress often accompanies him while he works. The western side contains the servants’ quarters, which the mistress rarely visits.”

The maid walking beside Si Jin meticulously described the mansion’s layout, but as Si Jin passed each location, she had no recollection of them as if visiting for the first time.

None of the places she had previously lived in could spark any memories.

Walking into Qiu Shui Courtyard, Si Jin looked around curiously.

Having felt no familiarity since returning to the mansion, she remained calm even when seeing the courtyard where she had lived for a year without recalling anything.

Upon entering the room, Si Jin immediately noticed the narcissus plant on the windowsill that Xiao Rong had mentioned earlier.

She approached it for a closer look. Even in late autumn when plants typically enter dormancy, it was evident that it had been well cared for and would likely bloom beautifully in spring.

She carefully examined all the furnishings in the room but still recalled nothing. Sitting down on the daybed, she summoned the two maids who had been waiting.

“This servant is named Lan Xin. I served in the Si residence before the mistress married and came with you to the Xiao residence after your wedding.”

“This servant is named Qiu Ya. I was assigned to Qiu Shui Courtyard since this mansion was built. After the mistress and master moved in, I have been attending to your morning grooming.”

Si Jin listened quietly as they introduced themselves one by one. Only after the last one finished speaking did she ask, “You two were the closest to me before, right?”

At this question, the two maids exchanged a brief glance.

Si Jin had asked casually but immediately noticed the strange expressions on their faces.

“Were there other maids serving me before?”

Qiu Ya replied, “There was another maid named Chun Xing who served the mistress before.”

Si Jin’s expression changed slightly. She opened her mouth but hadn’t decided what to say when Lan Xin quickly added, “Chun Xing sister was the one who always attended to you personally before. We both served under Chun Xing sister’s arrangement.”

“Chun Xing…” Si Jin murmured the name softly.

Perhaps because she wanted so badly to remember something, the name felt somewhat familiar, though she couldn’t tell if it was just psychological.

Si Jin asked, “Where is Chun Xing now?”

Qiu Ya said, “Chun Xing sister recently requested leave to return to her hometown due to a family emergency. I’m afraid she won’t be back for a while. According to the steward, the earliest she could return would be next year.”

Si Jin frowned.

Just when she had finally felt some familiarity with this person’s name, that person happened to be absent.

After a moment of silence, she changed the subject: “Did I have any close friends in the capital before?”

Lan Xin replied, “Yes, mistress. You have been close with the Third Miss of the Shen family since childhood. Your relationship is like sisters, very deep and intimate. She has always been your closest friend.”

“Really? Is she currently in the capital?”

Lan Xin kept her head lowered, preventing others from seeing her expression as she replied swiftly, “Answering Madam, Miss Shen is not in the capital. She had previously traveled afar with her elder brother for quite some time. She only returned briefly and has now departed the capital again with her brother.”

Si Jin: “…”

Not in the capital again.

“Do you know where she went?”

“This… this servant does not know.”

Throughout the journey back to the capital, Si Jin had been looking forward to reuniting with more familiar and close acquaintances upon her return. Yet, after inquiring about two people in succession, she found herself unable to meet either.

Si Jin lowered her eyelids, unable to suppress the welling sense of disappointment in her heart.

Why had they all left the capital at this very moment?

Was it a coincidence?

Yet this coincidence felt rather peculiar.

How could it be that precisely those closest to her had all departed?

For now, Si Jin had no heart to continue touring the rest of the residence. She merely waved her hand, dismissing both servants.

The two bowed and withdrew from the room one after another. As the door closed softly with a click, they both heaved heavy sighs of relief.

They walked away from Qiu Shui Courtyard, only speaking after putting considerable distance behind them.

Lan Xin: “Chun Xing was originally the explanation Lord prepared for us to use if Madam noticed anything unusual while we served her. Why did you reveal it directly just now?”

Qiu Ya: “When Madam asked so suddenly just now, I panicked and blurted it out.”

“Never mind. It’s better to mention it early than wait until questioned.”

Qiu Ya: “But Madam actually asked about Miss Shen right away. Should we report this matter to Lord?”

“Of course we must report it. Have you forgotten Lord’s orders? Every single action of Madam must be reported completely without the slightest omission. Especially matters related to Miss Shen. I will go report to Lord. You stay at Qiu Shui Courtyard and wait. Be smart about what should and shouldn’t be said.”

“…Understood.”