Chapter 23

“I’m very excited now.”…

When Xiao Rong returned to the residence, Si Jin was playing with a bird by the windowsill.

The little bird that had survived that night was indeed gradually recovering. Though the injury on its wing hadn’t fully healed, it could already stand up. Perhaps soon, it would be able to spread its wings and learn to fly.

Si Jin reached her finger into the birdcage. The bird, having shed its wariness, gently pecked at her finger a few times—a ticklish sensation without any aggression.

Her thoughts drifted: Now that Xiao Bai has recovered, would it want to leave the cage?

It stays obediently in the cage now, but does its heart still yearn for another escape?

Should she keep it or let it go?

Or perhaps, let it make its own choice.

Seeing the bird, Si Jin couldn’t help but think of Xiao Rong and what he had said to her that day.

She had felt something unusual then, and now the recollection brought a lingering unease she couldn’t shake off.

It seemed his words carried hidden meanings, yet she couldn’t pinpoint what they pointed to.

Suddenly, warmth enveloped her from behind.

Si Jin started, her body tensing abruptly, nearly crying out in surprise.

The next moment, she recognized the familiar embrace—Xiao Rong had wrapped his arms around her from behind.

“When did you return?”

Flustered, Si Jin turned her head and confirmed it was indeed Xiao Rong, but her rapidly beating heart from the fright didn’t calm down quickly.

“Just now.”

Si Jin let out a slight sigh of relief and chided, “How come you walk without making a sound? I didn’t hear you enter at all—you scared me.”

“Or perhaps you were too focused on the bird to notice my obvious movements.”

Si Jin looked up at Xiao Rong in surprise, but his expression remained unchanged.

Yet his words sounded somewhat sour, and besides, there had been no obvious movements behind her—she hadn’t heard anything.

Xiao Rong showed no embarrassment over his blatantly jealous remark, instead asking naturally, “Are you hungry?”

Si Jin shook her head and glanced at the sky. “It’s not even evening yet, and you’re back already. Did everything go smoothly?”

“Yes.” Xiao Rong had indeed returned much earlier than usual.

He sat down beside Si Jin and asked with apparent concern, “Since returning home, have you remembered anything?”

Sometimes, Si Jin felt that Xiao Rong cared more about her lost memories than she did, often asking if anything had come back to her.

She couldn’t immediately discern the reason for this concern.

But now, looking into his eyes, she saw her own reflection in them.

She thought, of course he hoped she would quickly recover their shared past.

Initially, Si Jin had shaken her head without hesitation when nothing came to mind.

But the more Xiao Rong asked, the more she hesitated to answer, afraid her denial would disappoint him.

In her moment of silence, Xiao Rong already understood.

He reached out to stroke her cheek and said gently, “It’s alright. You’ve only just returned—it doesn’t matter if you haven’t remembered anything. We can take it slow.”

Si Jin lowered her gaze, her voice soft. “I’m sorry…”

“Why apologize?”

“I’ve forgotten all our past memories.”

Xiao Rong tightened his arms around her. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s not your fault.”

His voice was deep, carrying complex emotions in its tone.

She couldn’t tell if it was sorrow or some other emotion.

Si Jin couldn’t figure it out and simply watched him back in silence.

After a moment, she shifted slightly and extricated herself from Xiao Rong’s embrace.

“I originally wanted to learn more about my past from those close to me, but when I asked the maids today, they told me that Chun Xing, who used to serve me, has returned to her hometown. And my closest confidante has left the capital with her family—I don’t even know where they’ve gone now. I can’t see any of them for the time being.”

“Is that so? What unfortunate timing.”

Si Jin fell silent for a moment, her gaze sweeping over Xiao Rong’s calm expression. “Why do you seem completely unsurprised?”

“The steward reported Chun Xing’s return to her hometown to me—I already knew about it. As for that Miss Shen,” Xiao Rong replied without changing his expression, speaking slowly, “I’m not familiar with her. If you want to know her whereabouts, I can send someone to investigate.”

“…Oh.” The strange feeling in Si Jin’s heart didn’t dissipate, but she didn’t dwell on it further. “There’s no need. Even if we find out where she is, she won’t be returning to the capital anytime soon.”

Xiao Rong said, “If you can’t remember, don’t force it for now. Rest well today. Tomorrow, the physician from my residence will come to examine the injury on the side of your head.”

Si Jin nodded, then asked quietly, “Are all my family members in the capital?”

“Your parents are indeed still in the capital.” Xiao Rong paused briefly, loosening his embrace slightly as he turned Si Jin around to face him. “However, your elder brother has left the capital for a distant post due to a job transfer.”

“Where did my brother go? Is it very far from the capital?”

“He’s at the western border—very far away.”

A chill ran through Si Jin’s heart at his words.

Yet another person had drifted far from her side.

She couldn’t help but ask further, “When did my brother leave?”

“Over a month ago.”

Si Jin pressed her lips together and fell silent.

All these events were far too coincidental, each having occurred recently.

Yet if one were to say it wasn’t mere coincidence, everyone’s departure had a perfectly reasonable explanation, leaving no room for further doubt.

Xiao Rong had been staring intently at her for a long while, his eyes seeming to hold unspoken words.

When Si Jin collected her thoughts and looked up at him, he indeed spoke: “I won’t leave you like they did. I’ll always be by your side.”

Si Jin was taken aback, her low spirits lifting slightly as she couldn’t help but be amused by his words.

Why did she detect a hint of smugness in his tone, as if he’d won some comparison?

A moment later, Si Jin confirmed it wasn’t her imagination—Xiao Rong was clearly genuinely pleased with himself.

Si Jin changed the subject instead: “It seems the only people I was familiar with in the past who remain in the capital are my parents. May I see them?”

Xiao Rong seemed somewhat dissatisfied that Si Jin hadn’t responded to his earlier words, lowering his gaze to play with her hand in his palm.

“Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“If your parents learned that you ran away from home, encountered danger, and lost your memory, they would worry. You’ve just returned and are still unfamiliar with everything. If you see them now, they’ll likely notice immediately. Your injury remains undetermined—you might recover quickly, or perhaps… Regardless, it’s not possible for now.”

Si Jin opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, finding Xiao Rong’s reasoning sound.

She sighed in defeat. “Then let’s discuss it another time. You’re right – perhaps I’ll recover soon.”

Xiao Rong remained silent for a moment before gently stroking her cheek. “If you truly wish to contact your parents, we can send a letter. I’ll help you write it and have it delivered to Si Manor.”

Si Jin showed little reaction, merely giving a soft acknowledgment as she reached out to embrace Xiao Rong.

So even after returning, Xiao Rong remained the only one by her side.

That night, Si Jin relaxed comfortably on the beauty couch in her bedchamber.

The room was filled with warmth, and the softness of the beauty couch made her nearly drowsy.

She roused from her relaxed state when she heard sounds at the door. Propping herself up, she saw Xiao Rong entering in his sleepwear after bathing.

However, Xiao Rong was carrying a bowl of dark herbal medicine. As he approached, the bitter scent quickly reached her nose.

Si Jin’s face immediately fell. “Why must I still drink medicine? My injuries have mostly healed, and I don’t feel any discomfort.”

While she spoke, Xiao Rong had already reached the beauty couch. The bitter aroma from the medicine in his hands grew stronger, making Si Jin frown.

The corners of Xiao Rong’s lips lifted, appearing in good spirits. “Must you act coquettishly like this every time before drinking medicine?”

Yet his actions brooked no argument as he directly brought the medicine bowl before her.

Si Jin grumbled discontentedly, “I’m not acting coquettish. Drinking this won’t help me remember anything – it’s completely useless.”

Holding her breath soon made her face flush red, appearing tender and utterly adorable.

Xiao Rong gazed at her face hesitantly but ultimately refrained from touching her cheek first. Instead, he lowered himself to sit beside her.

With a long arm, he drew her into his embrace and brought the medicine bowl directly to her lips.

“But you still must drink it. Be good.”

Si Jin was merely complaining and knew she couldn’t avoid taking the medicine.

Leaning against Xiao Rong’s chest, she took a deep breath and threw her head back to drink the bitter concoction in one go, her face nearly scrunching up completely from the bitterness.

No sooner had her lips left the medicine bowl than something was suddenly placed in her mouth.

She closed her mouth, and her tongue quickly detected a refreshing sweetness, recognizing what had been placed in her mouth. Only then did her expression soften.

Si Jin blinked, holding the preserved fruit in her mouth as she asked, “This isn’t the usual flavor – is it newly purchased?”

“Mm, I bought it from a shop in the capital today while handling official business. Naturally, it tastes different from those we’ve had from other places before.”

After savoring it carefully for a moment, Si Jin concluded, “I haven’t eaten preserved fruit from this shop before, have I?”

Xiao Rong paused briefly, lowering his gaze as he replied, “No, this shop just opened recently. Today was my first time buying from there.”

Just as Si Jin was about to nod, Xiao Rong cupped her face. “Is it delicious?”

“Very delicious – better than any we’ve had outside before. Would you like to try some too?”

“Mm.” Xiao Rong’s voice gradually deepened. “I’ll have a taste.”

As his words fell, he leaned in to kiss her, directly prying open her lips to delve inside. His tongue curled around the preserved fruit still in her mouth, tasting it just as he said he would.

But Xiao Rong clearly had no intention of stopping at a mere taste. He stole her very breath along with it, pressing her against the beauty couch as his kiss grew deeper and more intense.

The air was filled with Xiao Rong’s scent, the candlelight in the room flickering before her eyes, blurring her vision until she gradually closed them.

In Si Jin’s memory now, there had been many kisses with Xiao Rong, yet she still couldn’t remain composed each time under his kisses. Perhaps kissing itself was something easily intoxicating, especially when it came from Xiao Rong, whose kisses always carried an air of forceful conquest.

Si Jin parted her lips slightly, barely regaining some clarity of thought when she felt Xiao Rong lick the corner of her mouth.

Her eyelashes fluttered, and she instinctively tried to close her lips. Had her saliva trickled from the corner? That would be too embarrassing.

But before she could fully close them, Xiao Rong pinched her chin to stop her.

He pressed against her lips and reminded her in a hoarse voice, “Breathe.”

Yet Si Jin, overwhelmed by the relentless kisses, struggled to catch her breath and could only push against him, murmuring a muffled refusal against his lips, “Stop kissing me.”

Her tone was coquettish, almost devoid of resistance, yet Xiao Rong actually pulled back slightly.

But the next moment, he suddenly grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his taut waist.

“Hold on tight.”

Xiao Rong effortlessly lifted her, adjusting her weight with a gentle bounce, and Si Jin instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

Xiao Rong didn’t answer, striding purposefully toward the bed while somehow managing to extinguish the candle with one hand, still holding her.

The room plunged into darkness, amplifying the lingering intimacy and ambiguity that had been left unfinished.

Si Jin’s back met the soft bedding, while a shadowy figure loomed over her.

Xiao Rong leaned over her, bracing one arm beside her cheek, his breathing heavy and labored, washing over her from above.

His other hand traced her lips back and forth, the rough pad of his thumb stroking her soft mouth. The motion wasn’t rough, but it was tinged with an undeniable sensuality.

Heat coursed through her, no longer suffocated by airtight kisses but instead stirred into shivers by such caresses.

Unconsciously, Si Jin pursed her lips, drawing his fingertip into her mouth.

Xiao Rong’s supporting arm tensed instantly, veins bulging on the back of his hand, unseen in the darkness, yet he alone felt the boiling blood beneath his skin.

His breathing grew heavier, his scorching breath drawing closer.

“Open your mouth.”

Xiao Rong withdrew his finger and leaned down to kiss her obediently parted lips again.

His tongue invaded her mouth unhindered, yet only urgently savored her taste for a moment before he tilted his head downward, kissing from her slender neck to the hollow of her collarbone.

The skin he kissed tingled with an unbearable numbness, her waist already soft as water, her chest rising and falling with unsteady breaths.

Drawing near, then pulling away, like a seductive tease.

What had never been restrained now threatened to overflow.

Si Jin shrank as if to escape, yet instead nestled into Xiao Rong’s embrace. “Don’t do this…”

Before her words faded, Xiao Rong bent down and enveloped her in his arms.

He tightened his hold, greedily pecking kisses at the corner of her lips.

Xiao Rong was acutely aware at all times.

Si Jin’s existence had long become an insatiable greed within him.

For this, he had advanced through dark and despicable means, stopping at nothing, with no end in sight.

Nor would he ever turn back.

Winter was approaching, yet the surroundings felt as scorching as a furnace, and no one felt the cold.

Si Jin had already sensed that today’s intimacy was different from before, yet her muddled thoughts prevented her from fully grasping the reason.

Xiao Rong’s gaze felt tangible as it swept over her, and she unconsciously met his eyes, instantly feeling as though she might be consumed by their blazing intensity.

Something brushed past her knee, moving with deliberate slowness.

Si Jin froze, her eyes trembling violently in the darkness, her voice barely a whisper: “Today, are we… going to…?”

Though her blood boiled silently, Xiao Rong’s breathing was clearly heavy and rough against her ear.

He suddenly seized her wrist.

“Today, we won’t do it like that.”

Xiao Rong’s voice was hoarse and deep, his gaze growing even darker in the night.

What he had wanted to do when kissing her Maiden’s Undergarment was finally being fulfilled.

Si Jin instantly clenched her fingers, gripping the sheets beneath her. The overwhelming presence before her and the soundless breaths returning to her face from the pillow beside her made her eyelashes tremble incessantly.

The more she tried to escape, the more forcefully she was… pressed.

How could he do this…

The moment he bit down, Si Jin gasped aloud, but the trailing sound completely changed in tone.

Her body felt as if it had broken—it wasn’t pain she felt, but something entirely different.

Her gasps turned into ambiguous whimpers, and every breath from the man before her sent shivers through her.

In that moment, Si Jin began to wonder again how she could have forgotten everything.

They weren’t on the road, nor in a simple, bustling inn. They were at home, in the place where they had lived together since their marriage.

Throughout this journey, she had gone from being a stranger to him to relying on him, from restraint to trust.

They had embraced, kissed, and shared a bed.

It might be said that Xiao Rong was considerate—he hadn’t forced her, with her lost memories, to immediately resume the relationship of an affectionate couple or fulfill a wife’s duties.

But he was also shrewd.

His gradual approach had indeed stripped away most of her defenses, making her more receptive to this moment.

Yet, though she knew that today she was to perform the rites of marriage with Xiao Rong, she reacted with the awkward confusion of an unmarried maiden, completely unsure of what she should do.

But even if she had known what to do, she might not have been able to respond in any way.

Xiao Rong’s embraces and kisses often left Si Jin with a suffocating tightness in her chest, and the current intimacy was no exception.

Her senses were entirely under Xiao Rong’s control, and all her strength seemed to have been drained by him.

A layer of mist gathered in Si Jin’s eyes, and she unconsciously murmured his name: “Chongyun…”

Instantly, a suffocatingly tight grip seized her waist.

Si Jin’s face flushed with heat, her head spinning dizzily, when she suddenly made contact with him again.

How could it be even more… than before?

Xiao Rong’s movements abruptly paused. Apart from his still-unsteady breathing, he remained silent for a long moment before slowly lifting his head from above Si Jin.

“Whether you want me to continue or to hold back, it’s all up to you.”

His low, husky voice grated against her ear—words that sounded almost considerate and obedient, yet carried an undeniable pressure that brooked no resistance.

Because his blatant desire was dangerously palpable.

His meaning was clear: he wanted to continue desperately, yet he insisted on asking her this way.

Si Jin’s delicate brows furrowed slightly as she struggled to pull away, but Xiao Rong abruptly resumed his movements, seizing her once more.

His large hands covered her legs, the unfamiliar sensation making her hairs stand on end and compelling her to lift her head and look.

Before she could process anything more, Si Jin watched helplessly as Xiao Rong’s form gradually… before he finally lowered his head.

Si Jin’s eyes widened in disbelief, tears welling up uncontrollably.

The bedding had been completely pushed aside, tangled messily in the corner.

The night perfectly concealed everything happening at this moment, ensuring no one could witness it—or perhaps she simply had no attention left to spare for anything else.

Si Jin’s mind went completely blank, unable to form a single coherent thought.

A buzzing filled her ears, accompanied by the violent pounding of her own heartbeat.

She didn’t know how much time had passed.

Suddenly, Si Jin’s body tensed as Xiao Rong’s large hand returned to her waist, embracing her with a tenderness completely different from before.

Before she could catch her breath, his lips captured hers.

Those lips felt as if they’d been soaked in water—damp and hot, carrying a faint hint of bitterness. Soon they were stirring within her mouth just as they had disturbed the stream earlier.

A nearly inaudible sob escaped Si Jin’s throat. Even as she was being kissed, she kept her tear-blurred eyes open, staring dazedly at the man’s face so close to hers.

Only after Xiao Rong had thoroughly tasted her once more did he gradually open his eyes, meeting her tear-filled gaze as dark turbulence churned violently in his pupils.

Clutching his arms, Si Jin sobbed her accusation: “You did this on purpose…”

All that talk about continuing later, about restraining himself—he hadn’t listened to a word she said!

After all that, he came back to kiss her, and she hadn’t even been able to react in time.

“Don’t cry. If you keep crying, I really won’t be able to hold back anymore.” Xiao Rong turned his head to inhale deeply at Si Jin’s neck, sighing hoarsely, “I’m very excited right now.”

He was a notorious sinner, an unscrupulous deceiver, yet he shamelessly continued to take.

It felt as if pain was sprouting within, yet his blood surged with excitement.

Their already disheveled clothes were finally tossed completely off the bed.

He wanted to bind her to his side, ensuring she would never leave him.

Or perhaps let him entwine himself tightly around her.

“May I?”

Suppressing her long-overflowing shame, Si Jin gave a slight nod.

Distractedly, she wondered: Had she and Xiao Rong always been like this before?

In the darkness, Xiao Rong paused briefly, as if placing something beneath them.

Soon, Si Jin had no attention left to notice anything more.

During a brief moment of clarity, she looked up and saw the emotion in Xiao Rong’s eyes—something difficult to reconcile with his usual abstinent and aloof demeanor.

It seemed like the first time she had seen him like this, or perhaps it was rediscovering this side of him after losing her memory.

There were no such scenes in her memories.

She could only cling to the tangible reality before her.

Xiao Rong’s entire body was taut, his well-defined muscle contours visible even in the dark, sweat beading along his sharp jawline.

Si Jin could only instinctively reach out to hold him, her lips emitting altered low moans as she unconsciously called out: “Husband…”

Xiao Rong’s movements abruptly halted, his breath caught, plunging them into sudden silence.

Before Si Jin could process anything more, her arms fell limp, about to slide off his waist.

Xiao Rong suddenly grabbed her wrists.

Si Jin froze, her voice still hoarse, her throat itching with dryness when she spoke: “Is… is it over?”

Her mind remained foggy, to the point where she could barely make out Xiao Rong’s features clearly.

The intensity hadn’t faded from Xiao Rong’s eyes, but his expression darkened abruptly: “No.”

As soon as he spoke, Si Jin felt Xiao Rong’s solid arm scoop up her waist.

The dramatic movement made her whole body instinctively tense, yet she found herself completely devoid of strength.

The world spun before her eyes as Xiao Rong flipped her over entirely.

The threat drew near once more, making her instinctively flinch away in fear.

With a sharp slap—

Si Jin turned back in stunned disbelief, her eyes glistening even more with unshed tears, her already flushed cheeks burning as if about to combust.

Xiao Rong stood tall, looking down at her from his superior position.

His gaze plunged into her watery eyes that held both alarm and shyness, meeting a shimmering pool of rippling emotions.

His Adam’s apple bobbed heavily as he raised his hand and delivered another slap.

“Stay down.”

“It’s not over yet.”