Chapter 24: Stay by My Side, Don’t Go Anywhere…

Fatigue, drowsiness.

Until the very end, Si Jin did not know how she had fallen asleep.

Without memories of the past, this act felt like the first time.

She had no strength to resist, did not know how to respond, and was overwhelmed by the unfamiliar, full sensation, losing control of her senses.

Her eyelids drooped heavily, and her body relaxed limply into the embrace that had already become familiar.

In her breath, she could smell his scent, mixed with the clean freshness after a bath, evoking a strange sense of reassurance.

Why did it feel strange?

It was Xiao Rong, her husband, the one who accompanied her day and night.

The feeling of him being by her side was not unfamiliar, yet that very sense of reassurance felt inexplicably strange to her, with her memories a blank slate.

Shouldn’t Xiao Rong be someone who made her feel secure?

As sleep took over and her thoughts drifted away, Si Jin could no longer ponder the matter and fell into a deep slumber.

In the pitch-black darkness where she could not see her own hand, she heard the sound of her own slow footsteps.

Si Jin lowered her gaze, barely making out her embroidered shoes in the dim light.

Where was she going?

In her confusion, she tried to turn her head to discern her surroundings.

Suddenly, a dark figure darted across the only area she could see clearly.

“Where are you going?”

“Ah!”

Si Jin let out a startled cry, her heart pounding in fright, until she recognized the face emerging from the darkness.

It was Xiao Rong.

Instinctively, Si Jin took half a step back in defense.

But the moment she moved, Xiao Rong grabbed her wrist.

His movements were swift, his grip forceful, hurting her wrist: “Where are you going?”

“I… I don’t know.” Si Jin was both terrified and bewildered.

The Xiao Rong before her had a gloomy expression and cold, sharp eyes, staring intently at her.

His fingers were icy and devoid of warmth, his pale skin shrouded in darkness, resembling a vengeful ghost lurking in the night—once ensnared, there was no escape.

Xiao Rong was clearly dissatisfied with her answer.

He stepped closer again, his dark eyes clearly reflecting her frightened appearance, yet it still failed to satisfy him.

He released her wrist, only to grip her chin instead.

Si Jin was forced to lift her head and meet those chilling dark eyes.

Xiao Rong’s thin lips moved as he pressed her again in a deep voice: “Where are you going?”

Si Jin’s pupils trembled in fear, tears welling up uncontrollably in her eyes—out of fright, out of terror.

Her lips quivered, not daring to struggle, yet she could only reply: “I don’t know, I really don’t know.”

She didn’t even know where she was, so how could she know where she was going?

And the Xiao Rong before her was utterly terrifying. She was so scared she wanted to turn and flee, yet she couldn’t move, completely unable to escape.

Xiao Rong leaned in, whispering by her ear: “Stay by my side, don’t go anywhere.”

Fear peaked, and Si Jin struggled free, screaming in terror: “Let me go!”

With a jolt, Si Jin woke up, her eyes wide open as she gasped for breath.

Freshly emerged from the dream, the sight of that shadowed face instantly sent chills down her spine, drenching her in cold sweat.

“What’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?But unlike the cold, deep voice in her dream.

The gentle concern gradually soothed Si Jin.

Morning light streamed through the window, casting a soft glow on one side of Xiao Rong’s face, making his handsome features appear entirely different from the shadowed countenance he bore at night.

Si Jin blinked in confusion, her voice faint as she murmured, “Mm, I just had a dream.”

Her throat was still hoarse, evidence of how thoroughly she’d been exhausted the previous day. The mere act of speaking made her throat itch, prompting her to swallow.

Xiao Rong’s palm opened and effortlessly cupped the side of her neck.

It was a gesture that could easily have become a chokehold with slightly more pressure, but his measured touch didn’t provoke any alarm.

Whether driven by personal desire or to soothe her discomfort, Xiao Rong’s fingers gently stroked her throat. “What did you dream about?”

Si Jin actually found his touch quite pleasant.

Tilting her neck slightly, she answered, “You.”

The bed fell silent for a moment, even the stroking motion pausing.

Xiao Rong watched her with an unreadable expression.

Si Jin repeated, “I dreamed of you.”

“Me? In your nightmare?”

Xiao Rong’s tone remained even, his voice slow, making it impossible to discern his emotions.

Si Jin had fully calmed from her sudden awakening.

Shifting slightly to change positions, she leaned her head against Xiao Rong’s broad shoulder and quietly reflected for a moment.

“Why would I have such a dream?” Si Jin wondered aloud. “Did you often come looking for me at night before?”

She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn’t notice the arm around her waist tightening slightly when she asked this.

But she quickly dismissed the idea herself: “That doesn’t make sense. We sleep in the same bed every night, so we’re always together. Why would you need to come find me?”

A low chuckle of ambiguous meaning came from beside her as Xiao Rong turned her face to make her look at him.

The movement wasn’t as forceful as in her dream, but the gaze that met hers was equally profound.

“Did you notice a screen door in the room yesterday?”

Si Jin blinked in surprise, instinctively wanting to turn and look toward the screen door’s direction. But Xiao Rong applied slight pressure, making the soft flesh of her cheek sink in and preventing her from shifting her gaze even slightly.

She could only pout and say, “I noticed it, but I didn’t open it to look. Is there another room behind it?”

She had glimpsed it earlier and, for some reason, instinctively assumed it was a storage room, so she hadn’t bothered to open it.

Xiao Rong stated, “That’s the bed you prepared for me.”

“Ah?”

He said with complete seriousness, “When you’re displeased with me, you won’t let me share your bed. You make me sleep there alone.”

Si Jin’s eyes widened in astonishment.

The fact that he said it so earnestly made it sound like a fabricated joke.

Xiao Rong continued with a natural expression, “After our last argument, you directly chased me out of the room. I didn’t even get to sleep in there that time.”

This… this… how could she be so domineering?

“Really? I actually did that?”

After asking, Si Jin suddenly remembered that first night after she woke up, when Xiao Rong had asked with a teasing smile where she planned to banish him to sleep.

Perhaps there really was such a precedent.

But Xiao Rong didn’t seem like someone who would be in a subordinate position in any relationship. Yet hearing him say this now, it sounded like she had him completely under her thumb instead?

Si Jin pressed her lips together, feeling both embarrassed and trying to conceal a small sense of satisfaction.

But she quickly realized, “So… you really did come looking for me at night before?”

Xiao Rong narrowed his eyes slightly, the darkness in their depths well concealed, making it impossible to discern his thoughts.

He replied, “Of course I must find it. How could I simply let myself sleep elsewhere without taking any action?”

Si Jin couldn’t help but let out a soft, amused snort at his words. Though she couldn’t quite picture such a scene, her mood gradually relaxed.

She teased, “It must be because you were too clingy before, that I ended up having such a strange dream.”

“Can I not cling to you?”

“It’s not that you can’t,” Si Jin muttered under her breath.

“But in the dream, you were like a ghost, appearing silently behind me. The slightest carelessness and I was trapped tightly—that was still too frightening.”

“Is that so…”

Xiao Rong lowered his gaze, watching Si Jin, who had shed her fear and now nestled obediently in his arms. Softly, he murmured by her ear, “It was just a dream. Don’t overthink it.”

This morning’s breakfast included an extra serving of snow pear soup.

Si Jin savored the warm sweetness of the soup while stealing glances at the man seated beside her.

“What’s the matter? Even while drinking snow pear soup, you feel like acting coy with me?”

Si Jin’s eyes widened in surprise, and she quickly averted her gaze, lowering her voice. “There are others present. Don’t talk nonsense.”

Xiao Rong raised his hand slightly, and in an instant, the servants waiting in the room were dismissed. With that, the “others” Si Jin had mentioned were gone, leaving only the two of them.

Yet, this made Si Jin even more bashful. She lowered her eyes and remained silent.

By the time she finished the bowl of snow pear soup, her mouth was filled with sweetness, and her throat felt much more comfortable.

When she set down the bowl and looked up, she realized Xiao Rong was still watching her, clearly waiting for her to voice what she had left unsaid earlier.

Unable to withstand his gaze, Si Jin lowered her eyes, fiddled with her fingers, and finally scooted closer to him. In a hushed tone, she asked, “I didn’t see my maiden’s undergarment and drawers this morning.”

She kept her head down, so she missed the slight curve that lifted the corner of Xiao Rong’s lips.

Moreover, he continued to remain silent, a hint of laughter in his expression.

Si Jin frowned in frustration. Seeing that no one else was around, she returned to her normal volume. “Did you take them to be washed?”

Xiao Rong finally spoke. “Didn’t you say you didn’t want me to wash them for you?”

Si Jin’s face warmed instantly. “But… last night’s…”

They were so crumpled, covered in damp stains, and likely soiled with his release…

If the servants were to wash them, it would be better to just throw them away.

Seeing that his continued silence was about to truly irritate her, Xiao Rong reached out and pinched her puffed-up cheek.

“I washed them.”

“Really?”

“After you fell asleep last night, I took them and washed them.” Xiao Rong paused, withdrew his hand, and added nonchalantly, “But the ties on your maiden’s undergarment were torn. It probably can’t be worn anymore.”

“Ah…” Si Jin opened her mouth slightly, but she couldn’t recall how her clothes had been removed the night before.

In any case, it certainly hadn’t been gentle—the ties had even been torn.

She muttered gloomily, “Did you throw them away then?”

Xiao Rong didn’t answer directly. Instead, he picked up a piece of side dish with his chopsticks and placed it in her bowl. “After breakfast, I’ll have the physician come to check your pulse.”

Si Jin nodded, her cheeks still flushed pink, too flustered to think about anything else.

After breakfast, Si Jin waited in the room. Soon, she saw a servant leading a middle-aged man hurrying toward them.

She craned her neck to look outside, her gaze fixed on the approaching man until he entered the room.

Si Jin tilted her head and whispered to Xiao Rong, “Is this our Estate Physician? I feel somewhat familiar with him.”

As her words fell, Xiao Rong’s gaze darkened, and the hand that had been loosely holding hers tightened slightly.

The physician who had entered the room had already approached them.

After a moment’s thought, Si Jin spoke up, “Lift your head.”

Doctor Liu was taken aback, his slightly raised eyes instinctively turning toward Xiao Rong.

But Xiao Rong paid him no mind, keeping his eyes downcast and staring only at his and Si Jin’s joined hands, lost in thought.

Left with no alternative, Doctor Liu reluctantly raised his head.

Si Jin studied him carefully, her head throbbing faintly as if trying to recall something, yet finding it difficult to grasp any specific images.

After a moment, she let out a soft sigh, “Proceed with the pulse diagnosis.”

Doctor Liu breathed a sigh of relief and quickly stepped forward to take Si Jin’s pulse.

Xiao Rong’s expression shifted subtly for a brief moment, and he only spoke when Doctor Liu withdrew his hand, “How is she?”

“Your Excellency, I still need to examine the injury on Madam’s temple.”

After Doctor Liu spoke, Xiao Rong’s expression froze momentarily.

He quickly masked his unease and stepped aside, saying, “Don’t be afraid, let the doctor examine you.”

Si Jin wasn’t particularly frightened, but she vaguely sensed that something wasn’t quite right.

Today, Xiao Rong seemed even more nervous than she was.

But she could attribute this to his concern for her injury—like her, he probably hoped she would recover quickly.

Si Jin also turned slightly, presenting the injured side of her head to the doctor.

Doctor Liu approached, gently parting the hair at Si Jin’s temple, examining the area while applying slight pressure with his fingers.

Compared to the physician from the small town, this doctor indeed seemed much more skilled.

Doctor Liu asked, “Does Madam feel any swelling or pain here?”

“None.”

“How about with this pressure?”

“A little, but not significant.”

“Do you feel dizzy when moving your head?”

“No.”

Doctor Liu asked many detailed questions, gradually making Si Jin, who had been relaxed, grow tense.

When Doctor Liu stepped back from her, she actively returned to Xiao Rong’s side and took his hand, asking, “Doctor, how is my injury?” Will I be able to recover?”

“Of course, Madam need not worry.” Doctor Liu maintained a calm expression as he bowed and reported, “I have examined your injury. After these days of rest, it is clearly healing well. Although you have lost your memory due to this injury, since the wound is healing, it is entirely possible for your memory to return as well.”

“But… I haven’t been able to remember anything yet.”

“Then has Madam experienced moments of familiarity with certain people or things in daily life?”

Si Jin’s eyes lit up—of course she had.

From the moment she first saw Xiao Rong, she had felt this way, not to mention just moments ago when she saw this very doctor, she had experienced the same sensation.

There were other subtle instances too—she had indeed felt familiarity several times.

“Yes, is this a sign that my memory is returning?”

“I cannot say for certain, but please rest assured, Madam. In my earlier years, I treated patients with conditions similar to yours. One case was much more severe than yours, and that person has since recovered fully. The possibility of your recovery is quite high.”

Upon hearing this, Si Jin felt considerably more at ease. Though she hadn’t received any concrete promises, this was still the best news she’d heard since waking up.

She gripped Xiao Rong’s hand excitedly, only to turn and see his expression somber, as if he were in low spirits.

She parted her lips to speak, but Doctor Liu quickly interjected, “Madam, I shall first prescribe some blood-activating and stasis-dispersing medicine for you. I will continue monitoring the recovery of your injury.”

Si Jin frowned. Blood-activating and stasis-dispersing again? She had been drinking that bitter medicine for over half a month already.

Xiao Rong patted the back of her hand and withdrew his own as he stood up. “Don’t you want to recover sooner? Be good and take the medicine. I’ll accompany the doctor to prepare the prescription.”

Pouting, Si Jin nodded gloomily.

When she looked up again and saw Xiao Rong’s back disappearing through the doorway, she inexplicably recalled how he had merely asked the physician in the small town to provide a detailed prescription. Why did he feel the need to personally accompany this supposedly highly skilled doctor?

Si Jin’s random thoughts were soon swept away by the prospect of having to continue drinking the bitter medicine.

In a secluded corner of the courtyard not far from the room.

Doctor Liu stood stiffly, bowing as he whispered, “My lord, what I said earlier was true. Madam’s injury is healing well. From her description, the head injury hasn’t caused significant physical effects.”

“What about her memory?”

Doctor Liu cautiously observed Xiao Rong’s expression for a moment.

But the man’s face remained cold and inscrutable, his dark eyes concealing all emotion deep within, making it impossible to discern his mood.

The doctor could only lower his head again and say, “Recovery is indeed possible, but this condition is influenced by many factors. When it might occur and how much might return cannot be determined.”

Xiao Rong remained silent for a long while before speaking coldly, “She remembers you.”

Doctor Liu’s pupils contracted sharply, his legs instantly giving way as he dropped to his knees. “My lord, I am terrified!”

An intimidating silence fell over the corner.

Kneeling prostrate on the ground, Doctor Liu nervously swallowed.

He knew Madam’s memory loss from the injury wasn’t public knowledge. Xiao Rong having him examine and treat her meant this required confidentiality.

Beyond that, he couldn’t ascertain Xiao Rong’s further intentions, especially now that he’d been summoned alone to this corner as if for some clandestine discussion.

Having served Xiao Rong for years, Doctor Liu owed him his very livelihood. Now his entire family depended on his position as the Estate Physician in the Xiao household. He would never defy Xiao Rong’s orders.

Yet the current atmosphere made him secretly speculate.

Could Xiao Rong be considering…

“What are the chances she might never recover her memory?”

Startled, Doctor Liu kept his head bowed, not daring to reveal his astonishment.

“M-my lord means?”

“Answer me.”

Doctor Liu trembled. “Fifty percent. The possibilities of recovery and permanent loss are both fifty percent.”

Xiao Rong didn’t respond.

Unable to bear the pressure, Doctor Liu tentatively offered, “If my lord wishes, there are… methods to increase or decrease those probabilities.”

Xiao Rong’s face remained unreadable, the darkness in his eyes particularly chilling.

Slowly, his gaze fell upon the doctor’s bowed head, his voice icy. “Attend to your duties.”

Doctor Liu immediately kowtowed in panic. “Yes, my lord! I will follow your instructions completely and devote myself to treating Madam!”

Xiao Rong stood with a straight back, his expression growing more somber.

He silently watched the slightly ajar door in the distance, the gap revealing shifting shadows of figures inside the room.

Until that moving shadow drifted away from the doorway.

A subtle shift flickered in Xiao Rong’s gaze as he prepared to stride back into the room.

Doctor Liu hastily called out, “My lord, this humble servant has one more matter to report.”

Xiao Rong paused his steps but didn’t turn around. “What is it?”

“Your mother… I mean, your honored mother. Before this trip, I routinely visited You Shui Residence to examine her. Her condition… isn’t good. When you have time, you should personally go see her.”

Doctor Liu didn’t dare lift his head. Only after a long pause did departing footsteps echo before him again.

Si Jin had indeed been wandering aimlessly in the room earlier.

Today’s medical diagnosis had left her in rather good spirits. Imagining herself gradually recovering her memories made even the prospect of continuing to drink bitter medicine for who-knows-how-long somewhat more bearable.

When sounds came from the doorway, she glanced back.

Seeing Xiao Rong, her eyes immediately brightened. “So soon? Have you already gotten the medicine prepared?”

Xiao Rong said, “Are you actually looking forward to drinking medicine now?”

Si Jin stepped forward and lightly punched his arm. “What nonsense! Who would ever look forward to drinking that bitter stuff.”

She shook her head in distaste, then pulled Xiao Rong toward the sitting couch.

They sat closely pressed together, Si Jin already accustomed to Xiao Rong’s arm encircling her waist.

She looked up at him from his side, her eyes sparkling as she asked, “You heard it too, right? The doctor said it’s highly likely I’ll recover my memories. I might remember everything soon.”

Those eyes were bright and clear, untainted by past events, like starting from a blank page that had temporarily only been painted with his image.

But when she remembered, all of this would cease to exist.

She would resist him, reject him.

She would no longer stay or allow him to hold her like this, much less remain by his side.

Si Jin was still happily waiting for Xiao Rong to show the same joy she felt, but before she could see any change in his expression, his face suddenly drew close.

Until her slightly parted lips were captured by his, receiving a gentle but firm suckling kiss.

“Mmph… what…”

The remaining words were swallowed as his hot tongue invaded her mouth, and Si Jin was soon overwhelmed by the intense kiss.

Xiao Rong kissed deeply but with unusual tenderness, carrying little sensual desire. The deep kiss clearly revealed his longing and dependence, as if he were the one adrift who could only survive by clinging to Si Jin.

Si Jin inexplicably sensed a trace of sorrow in this kiss. Though she didn’t know its source, it made her momentarily forget to push him away.

Her tongue unconsciously darted out, touching his as it caressed her palate.

Si Jin didn’t know if she was mimicking his usual way of kissing her or if it was her body’s instinctive response.

She pressed against his tongue, lightly licking from the tip inward.

The sturdy body before her suddenly stiffened, muscles instantly tensing. Pressed against Si Jin’s chest, he felt hard and somewhat uncomfortable.

Si Jin frowned slightly, but before she could push him away, he unexpectedly moved his lips away himself.

Xiao Rong buried his face against her neck, his breathing heavy but his voice soft: “Why did you lick me?”

Heat immediately rushed to Si Jin’s face.

He was being utterly unreasonable. He had even… that sort of place…

She had only lightly touched him.

And it was only because he had suddenly kissed her. Now he actually had the nerve to accuse her.

Si Jin was about to tease him with a playful reprimand.

Xiao Rong’s arms, which had been loosely holding her, suddenly tightened, and his body pressed completely against hers.

Si Jin’s eyes widened in shock as she heard Xiao Rong mumble in a hoarse voice, “You’ve fulfilled my destiny.”

Si Jin: “!!!”

“What nonsense are you talking? It’s… it’s still daytime…”

Whether to ease the tension or to prove his point, Xiao Rong didn’t seem lewd but rather shamelessly acted as if to say, “What nonsense?”

Si Jin: “…”

She must have been mistaken earlier—that kiss held no trace of melancholy; he was clearly exhilarated.

Xiao Rong lowered his head to nuzzle against her neck, his lips brushing over her skin, his breath scattering through her hair.

Si Jin pursed her lips, neither speaking nor moving, standing stiff as a log with no intention of giving any reaction.

But Xiao Rong didn’t mind. Even as he pressed a formidable threat against her, he remained focused solely on the fair, delicate skin of her shoulder and neck.

“Don’t lick…”

Was this a case of the magistrate allowing fires but forbidding the common folk to light lamps?

Xiao Rong paid no heed. His muscles were tense, yet the force with which he held her was soft and pliant.

It seemed as though a single push could free her, yet somehow, layer upon layer had already entangled them, leaving no gap to unravel the bindings.

Just as Si Jin hesitated—whether to first push his head away, pry his arm from her waist, or retreat from the greatest threat—Xiao Rong suddenly stilled on his own.

His lips pressed against unsteady breaths. After a moment of silence, he murmured softly, “I’ll be away for a few days. Will you wait for me at home?”