Chapter 33
“I want to leave this place.”
The heaviness in her body felt like dragging a massive stone while trudging forward with difficulty.
But as Si Jin gradually regained consciousness and opened her eyes, she realized she hadn’t gone anywhere – she remained lying on this bed that trapped her.
The room was dimly lit, with no lamps lit and no sounds, making it impossible to tell the exact time, only that night had fallen.
To think they had gone from daytime all the way until night.
Si Jin lay still for a long while, staring blankly at the ceiling beams.
Like a hollowed-out soul left with nothing but an empty shell.
But in truth, she was simply exhausted.
Her body weary, her heart so stifled she could barely breathe.
The moment she opened her eyes, her restless thoughts came rushing back into her mind.
As if forcing her to face the facts she had already uncovered.
Yet the familiar ceiling beams before her seemed to pull those realities into the distance, leaving behind only memories of what had truly occurred here.
After who knew how much more time had passed.
Si Jin exhaled heavily, finally mustering the strength to sit up.
Just as she straightened herself, sounds came from outside the door, and she simultaneously became aware of something.
When she lowered her gaze, the door opened from outside, letting in light that allowed her to clearly see her current situation.
The previously disheveled bed that looked like it had endured a great battle was now tidy, with new bedding replaced, clothes taken away to where they couldn’t be seen. The only wrinkles on the bed were the inevitable marks left by her lying there.
And her right leg, which had been restrained for so long – previously numb – now felt as if there were no restraints at all.
Si Jin lifted the covers to confirm.
Her dress had been changed too, now wearing only the light sleeping garments she normally wore indoors. The golden ring was no longer visible on her leg, and the gold chain had disappeared without a trace.
The fear of confinement at this moment felt like an illusion born from nothingness, the scenes flashing through her mind like dreams lacking any sense of reality.
“Awake?”
Si Jin shuddered violently, all her hesitant thoughts suddenly snapping back to attention.
Xiao Rong’s voice struck like an alarm bell through her dazed state.
Of course it wasn’t a dream.
Nor an illusion.
She sharply turned her head, seeing a dark shadow swaying as it approached the screen, her body unconsciously tensing.
Xiao Rong revealed his figure after rounding the screen and stopped walking.
The darkness blurred the expression on his face, making it impossible to discern his current mood.
He merely glanced quietly toward the bed, then turned and walked toward another area.
Si Jin didn’t know what he intended to do, could only hold her breath, not daring to relax in the slightest.
But moments later, only the sound of a fire striker igniting came from the room. The oil lamp was lit, casting soft, warm light throughout the room.
Si Jin slightly narrowed her eyes, seeing the dark shadow sway as it returned.
She immediately lifted her head again, staring intently at Xiao Rong.
Xiao Rong met her gaze frankly, even showing a distinct flicker of light in his eyes when their gazes connected.
“Shall we dine now, or wait a while longer?” he spoke as if nothing had happened, just like every other time when she had just woken up, his calm and natural manner of inquiry.
Precisely because he behaved so utterly ordinary that Si Jin nearly actually replied with “I’m hungry.”
Si Jin pressed her lips tightly together, not letting a single word of response escape her lips.
Like a frightened young beast, with not an ounce of intimidation in her entire body, yet still raising sharp thorns in defensive posture.
Xiao Rong wasn’t angered either, speaking expressionlessly: “Then rest for a while. I’m afraid you have no appetite.”
The mention of appetite made Si Jin’s stomach churn.
It wasn’t just lack of appetite—she even felt somewhat nauseous.
Her silent resistance proved largely ineffective.
Xiao Rong poured a glass of water at the table and approached her: “Drink some water.”
A flicker passed through Si Jin’s eyes, her intention to remain silent not yet fully formed.
Xiao Rong quickly added: “Or should I feed you?”
As he spoke, he actually began making such movements.
Si Jin’s heart trembled.
Her lips and throat felt parched at that moment, and she didn’t want to speculate about how Xiao Rong intended to feed her.
She silently reached out to take the cup. Only when her lips touched the warm moisture did she realize how truly thirsty she was.
Instinctively opening her mouth, she quickly drained the entire glass.
No sooner had Si Jin lowered the cup than a cotton cloth appeared before her eyes.
A “no” caught in her throat as the warm, damp cloth covered her face, followed by somewhat clumsy pressure wiping her entire face.
“Feeling more clear-headed now?”
Si Jin couldn’t suppress her breathing, her face slightly warm, her eyelashes somewhat damp.
Hearing her own heavy breathing in her ears, she felt that if she didn’t speak, Xiao Rong would continue talking to himself as if nothing had happened.
“I’m clear-headed now.” Si Jin lowered her slightly hoarse voice, steady and untrembling, appearing quite calm.
She paused before stating softly: “I want to leave this place.”
Surprisingly, Xiao Rong showed no anger at all, instead remaining calmer than her as he asked lightly: “Where to?”
Si Jin’s throat tightened, her face momentarily confused. Her fingers gripping the water cup gradually turned white, her heart turning icy cold.
No wonder he could remain so composed and natural.
She had nowhere to go—couldn’t even fabricate a destination.
But why must she answer his questions?
Si Jin lowered her gaze, repeating: “I want to leave this place.”
Xiao Rong’s eyes darkened slightly as he casually set down the cloth: “It seems you’ve rested enough. Time to eat.”
Si Jin pressed her lips together and spoke no more.
Xiao Rong stood several steps away watching her coldly, as if stubbornly waiting for her response—even if it meant repeating words he didn’t want to hear.
But after waiting quite a while, he received no response whatsoever.
He suddenly strode toward Si Jin.
“It seems you don’t want to eat either. Then have something else.”
Hearing this, Si Jin’s pupils instantly contracted. Xiao Rong’s approaching presence made her skin crawl, emotions bursting forth uncontrollably: “Don’t touch me!”
Xiao Rong’s outstretched hand halted mid-air, fingers curling slightly.
Then in a low, hoarse voice: “Willing to talk to me now?”
Si Jin’s throat, which had just been moistened, felt dry again, as if instinctively resisting giving him what he wanted.
But after just a moment of silence, Xiao Rong withdrew his extended hand only to move his entire body closer.
The churning sensation in her stomach returned, bringing constant acid to her throat as if she might vomit.
She suppressed it fiercely, glaring at Xiao Rong with wide, angry eyes.
Only then did she notice Xiao Rong’s expression had turned unpleasant too.
From some point in their exchange, the coldness on his face had become unsustainable, now growing increasingly grim and somber.
Staring at him like this, Si Jin found her nausea actually fading considerably.
After a long stalemate, Xiao Rong was the first to break the silence, yet what he uttered was: “Your parents left the capital under your elder brother’s arrangements.”
Si Jin froze, her mind blank for a long moment before she processed his words.
The expression in her eyes shifted gradually, but before she could speak, Xiao Rong continued swiftly: “Shen Xuzhi—you were the one who invited her to meet you outside the city after your escape.”
Si Jin was stunned, yet Xiao Rong’s stern expression showed no sign of softening.
His voice lowered as he went on: “Chun Xing—she begged me to let her return to her hometown to visit her gravely ill mother.”
The room fell into silence once more.
So quiet that even the sound of breathing seemed to vanish.
Si Jin bit her lip repeatedly, her brows furrowed, before she finally managed to say after a long pause: “At this point, why should I believe you?”
Xiao Rong fell silent, as if her words had blocked all possible exits, trapping him in an airless, shadowy corner with no way out.
But in an instant, he coldly retorted: “What if you don’t believe me?”
He suddenly reached out and pulled Si Jin—who had momentarily forgotten to stay tense—into his embrace.
His breath brushed against her ear, as if he were about to make another untimely, intimate gesture despite the tension.
Yet he merely pressed close to her ear and murmured darkly: “You’re right here with me, and you won’t be going anywhere.”
A chill ran through Si Jin’s entire body, and she immediately snapped back to reality, struggling fiercely.
“I don’t want this! I don’t want to be with you, I don’t want to stay here—I want to leave!”
To Xiao Rong, Si Jin’s strength was negligible, yet she broke free from his embrace with surprising ease.
This kind of escape had happened several times in her memory.
Each time she broke away, he would soon entangle her in another way.
Before this, she had found it both amusing and frustrating.
Now, however, she only fled in greater panic.
Without a second thought, Si Jin dashed barefoot toward the door.
The distance wasn’t short, yet she covered it almost instantly.
Breathing heavily, she halted at the door and reached out to pull it open.
When her palm met something cold and unyielding, her muddled mind still hadn’t grasped what was happening.
Until a loud clang echoed—
Si Jin froze, finally seeing clearly: a heavy bronze lock secured the door, rendering it immovable except for producing a jarring noise when tugged.
Terrified, she turned back and saw Xiao Rong striding toward her.
Trembling uncontrollably, she could only bite her lip, unable to utter a single word.
Xiao Rong said nothing more, glancing down at her bare toes before his gaze traveled up her feet. His brow furrowed slightly.
He strode forward, scooped her up horizontally into his arms.
Si Jin cried out in alarm: “Let me go! I won’t be locked in here by you!”
Xiao Rong allowed her to struggle but didn’t release his hold, already carrying her back to the bed.
As he set her down, his large hands enveloped both her feet.
In her earlier tension, Si Jin hadn’t noticed how icy cold her feet had become from the floor. By the time she realized, warmth—forcibly imposed by Xiao Rong—had already spread through her soles, erasing all traces of chill.
A tremor ran through Si Jin’s heart, just as an indescribable emotion began to surface.
Xiao Rong suddenly spoke: “I told you, you’re not going anywhere. You’ll stay right here with me.”
The nascent emotion that had yet to surface instantly dissipated. Si Jin instinctively asked, “Are you going to imprison me?”
“Yes.” Xiao Rong admitted without hesitation, a sharp glint rising in his eyes as he leaned in closer to her.
“When you stop trying to escape, I will unlock the door. If you keep trying to run, then stay here for the rest of your life. What do you think?”
Si Jin’s shoulders trembled, and tears instantly welled up in her eyes.
The churning in her stomach surged up again.
Nausea, aversion.
Pain, resistance.
Si Jin pushed against Xiao Rong’s chest, which was leaning close to her, and then uncontrollably bent over and retched.
Xiao Rong’s expression changed abruptly, and he immediately returned to her side.
Si Jin’s stomach was empty. She dry-heaved several times toward Xiao Rong’s chest but brought nothing up.
After a while, she gradually stopped, only her chest rising and falling rapidly with her breath, her mind hazy and confused.
Suddenly, as if she had thought of something, she trembled and looked sharply at Xiao Rong.
The tears that had been gathering now fell instantly, uncontrollably, more and more streaming down.
Xiao Rong watched her quietly for a moment with a darkened expression.
Then, he released her, stood up, and said in a hoarse voice, “Stay here.”
Si Jin only saw his lips moving but didn’t hear a word he said.
The feeling of nausea subsided and surged again several times before gradually calming down.
Xiao Rong turned and left.
Si Jin lowered her gaze to the wrinkled fabric of her clothes over her abdomen.
She didn’t dare to think too deeply, but her thoughts uncontrollably drifted in that direction.
Six months, countless instances of intimacy.
An unusual feeling she had never experienced before, and the uncontrollable retching just now.
Si Jin trembled all over, her face pale. Her fingers twitched as if to touch her abdomen, but before her fingertips could reach the fabric, a sound came from the door.
She immediately withdrew her hand and looked up in a daze.
Xiao Rong must have unlocked the door when he left earlier, but she had been standing there, doing nothing.
By the time she registered what was happening, Xiao Rong had already returned to the room, holding a tray. In the bowl on the tray was something unknown.
As he approached, the familiar smell of medicine assailed her nostrils.
Si Jin was surprised yet bewildered, her mind in turmoil, unable to react.
Until Xiao Rong came to her side.
He set the medicine bowl aside first; in the other bowl was plain hot porridge.
The aroma of the porridge mixed with the bitter scent of the medicine made Si Jin’s stomach churn again.
This sensation made her face turn even paler.
Xiao Rong looked at her, his eyes gloomy, his entire being shrouded in a somber atmosphere.
Without a word, he sat beside her, scooped up some porridge, blew on it to cool it, and brought it to her lips.
Si Jin tensed up, unable to muster the energy to resist Xiao Rong further.
The nearby porridge temporarily masked the smell of the medicine, allowing her to regain some appetite, and she slowly opened her mouth to eat.
The food slid down her throat into her stomach, the feeling of fullness seemingly carrying away all her previous discomfort.
But Xiao Rong soon brought over the Medicinal Concoction that had been set aside earlier: “Drink the medicine.”
Si Jin’s pupils trembled, and she asked tensely, “What… what is this medicine?”
Xiao Rong glanced at her indifferently.
It didn’t seem like a response to her question but more like he was observing the change in her expression after she had eaten.
His gaze swept over her face before he coldly uttered a few words: “Prenatal medicine.”
Si Jin’s breath caught, her heart seeming to lose the ability to beat. Her eyes immediately reddened again.
But unlike the haggard pallor from earlier when she was starving and panicked, her now rosy cheeks beneath these crimson-rimded almond eyes revealed only an utterly pitiable and alluring appearance.
Her eyelashes fluttered slightly, tears welling in her eyes as if she might burst into crying at any moment.
Xiao Rong’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he restrained the impulse to lean close to her cheek. Before her tears could fall, he spoke hoarsely: “It’s not prenatal medicine. It’s nerve-calming soup mixed with contraceptive medicine.”
“Wh-what?”
Si Jin’s pupils instantly relaxed, yet the tears still couldn’t be fully held back. Two trembling drops fell before stopping completely.
Her eyes held suspicion and confusion: “Are you lying to me again?”
Xiao Rong didn’t answer, his gaze fixed intently on the tear tracks at the corners of her eyes, as if physically licking those places before reluctantly withdrawing.
Si Jin felt her scalp tingle under his stare, even annoyed that after being watched by him so often, she could now fully understand what thoughts lay hidden in such a gaze.
When Xiao Rong brought the bowl before Si Jin again.
She instinctively flinched back, nearly knocking over the medicine bowl.
But Xiao Rong swiftly steadied his arm, only causing the liquid surface to ripple slightly.
His eyes darkened as he watched the unsettled surface of the soup. After moving his lips, he finally spoke: “If you don’t want to drink it, that’s fine. Then we’ll test whether what was poured into you this time will make you pregnant. With child, you’d change your mind and stay willingly by my side, wouldn’t you?”
Si Jin’s pupils shook, her body instantly tensing.
Her thoughts became trapped in the reality of their frequent fillings over the past six months.
If Xiao Rong truly wanted to bind her with a child, she might have been pregnant long ago.
But why hadn’t Xiao Rong done so?
Unconsciously, her suspicions began drifting toward dark calculations, the more she thought the more frightening it became.
Yet Xiao Rong remained silent, watching the obvious expressions on her face without saying a word.
Unable to resist, Si Jin looked up, the strange feeling in her heart lingering, compelling her to ask: “Why are you doing this?”
No sooner had she spoken than she saw Xiao Rong’s eyes shift slightly, his face adopting a “are you sure you want to hear this?” expression.
A sudden sense of foreboding rose in Si Jin’s heart, for once completely unified in not wanting to know.
But before she could withdraw her question, Xiao Rong had already parted his lips to speak: “From the first time I came because of you, I’ve thought – henceforth I’ll pour everything here, making you take it in, store it, not allowing a single drop to leak out.”
Xiao Rong’s handsome, ascetic face remained expressionless as he spoke these utterly vulgar words, while pointing at her flat abdomen as he spoke.
Si Jin’s eyes widened, her face alternating between red and white as she listened, ears buzzing, unable to believe what she was hearing.
She now became convinced they couldn’t possibly have been a truly loving couple before, a terrifying and absurd speculation surfacing in her mind.
“You… before… did you rape me…”
Hearing this, Xiao Rong narrowed his eyes dangerously. The veins beneath his exposed skin seemed to pulse, as if he’d become strangely excited by this.
But he slowly said: “Unfortunately, no.”
“If forced upon you, you might conceive, but I detest children. I won’t let you endure hardship only to bear someone like me…”
His words trailed off, darkness surging in his eyes as his entire countenance gradually turned sinister and ferocious.
Si Jin trembled instinctively and hastily reached out to take the medicine bowl Xiao Rong handed her.
As Xiao Rong watched her hold the bowl and gradually bring it to her lips to drink it all, he suddenly spoke again: “However, this is the last bowl of medicine prepared for you.”
Si Jin’s hand shook. The medicinal concoction already sliding down her throat couldn’t be regurgitated, but the bowl in her hand nearly slipped.
With a calm expression, Xiao Rong reached out to steady the bowl, supporting its base to force her to drink every last drop.
When the bowl was empty, he slipped a piece of candied fruit into her mouth as usual, showing no intention of explaining his earlier statement.
Fear and panic gripped Si Jin’s heart, making even the candied fruit in her mouth seem tasteless.
As he turned to put the bowl away, she unconsciously reached out and grabbed his sleeve.
“What did you mean by that…”
Xiao Rong turned back, standing tall with that same condescending demeanor, taking in her kneeling position on the bed.
It was as if he had made a decision that would completely control her, regardless of consequences or her resistance.
Yet the darkness in his eyes held no joy of being in power.
He had frightened her nearly to tears again.
Contradictorily, he didn’t know whether to feel irritated or excited about this.
After a long pause, he finally said: “Doctor Liu has found contraceptive medicine that I can take.”
Then with that same expressionless face, he added: “Even if I fill you to overflowing, you won’t get pregnant.”
Si Jin was alone in the room now.
The surrounding silence was terrifying, stretching and amplifying the thoughts in one’s heart indefinitely.
But the more her thoughts scattered, the more distant they became, elusive to grasp, leaving even her emotions feeling hollow.
Xiao Rong’s words and everything that had happened throughout the day replayed repeatedly in her mind.
One moment frightened by him, the next angered by him.
Yet those thoughts she could no longer escape had transformed into the reality now revealed, giving rise to a sense that everything had been foreshadowed all along.
Following these traces, the scenes in her mind gradually became the fragments of their time together over the past six months.
When Si Jin finally regained her senses, she realized the silence around her felt abnormal.
Since she didn’t know what time it was and felt no drowsiness, she could only guess it might be late at night.
But even for late night, this degree of silence seemed unusual.
It was as if… the courtyard outside was completely empty.
Si Jin glanced toward the door, but the screen blocked her view, revealing nothing.
After stepping down from the bed, she walked toward the door while listening carefully.
Suddenly, she belatedly remembered the image of the door being pulled only to be blocked by a copper lock.
Looking up, she saw that same copper lock now hanging open, tilted on the cabinet before the door.
This scene felt familiar, as if it had happened somewhere before.
Staring blankly at the copper lock for a long moment, a sudden image flashed through her mind.
“An open lock hanging on the door might accidentally fall and hit you. Let’s only put it on when we need to lock up.”
Si Jin blinked in confusion and gently pushed open the door.
Two lanterns hung high before the courtyard gate, their faint glow insufficient to illuminate the entire yard, leaving the surroundings dim and hazy.
Suddenly, a shifting black shadow flickered in her line of sight, startling her so much she nearly slammed the door shut in defense.
The next instant, Si Jin’s gaze met the shadowy figure’s eyes as they looked up.
It was Xiao Rong, crouching in the corner of the courtyard, scrubbing some unknown object in his hands.