Chapter 35: “I Won’t Lie to You Anymore…”

If anyone could have glimpsed Si Jin’s inner thoughts at this moment, they would surely have found her mindset terribly twisted.

Her first instinct was that Xiao Rong, to prevent Shen Chi from helping her escape, had forcibly brought him to Xiao Fu bound and restrained, intending to imprison Shen Chi as well, leaving no chance for escape.

As it turned out, Si Jin’s imagination had veered far too dark.

Shen Chi arrived at Xiao Fu half an hour later.

He was neatly dressed, looking bright and polished, as if he had specially groomed himself for a formal visit.

Apart from a hint of wariness and confusion on his face, there was no indication that he had suffered any ill treatment during his journey.

The servants of Xiao Fu respectfully welcomed the guest, and the eastern parlor was already prepared with expensive teas and abundant fruits and snacks.

Yet Xiao Rong, who had given these orders, had vanished without a trace after Shen Chi entered Xiao Fu.

As if avoiding what he didn’t wish to see.

Even as Si Jin sat opposite Shen Chi at the table in the room, she remained in a daze, unable to snap out of it.

Her back stiff, her expression peculiar, her gaze somewhat vacant, she stared at Shen Chi, who had appeared here so openly.

During the peak of yesterday’s conflict, Si Jin had even wondered if she might never see anyone other than Xiao Rong for the rest of her life, let alone Shen Chi, who had ignited the fuse.

Shen Chi, too, could not conceal his surprise, but his words flowed incessantly.

“Do you know how my personal attendant woke me this morning? He stumbled into my room in a panic, saying nothing but urging me to pack my bags and flee immediately. It scared me half to death—I thought some enemy had come knocking.”

Shen Chi was so noisy that even in her muddled state, Si Jin couldn’t help but catch a few phrases.

Si Jin: “…Do you have many enemies?”

Shen Chi laughed heartily: “I was just saying that casually. Before, it was only Xiao Chongyun who held a grudge against me. But now, it seems he wants to let bygones be bygones and reconcile.”

Then, Shen Chi suddenly froze mid-laugh, awkwardly twitching the corner of his mouth: “Miss Si, no, Madam Xiao, did I misunderstand?”

Si Jin was taken aback.

“Actually, it’s not what I thought. You and Lord Xiao have already reconciled, so you returned to the capital…”

Shen Chi continued on his own, his expression growing increasingly awkward.

“That’s not it!”

Si Jin blurted out without thinking: “I…”

Just as the words were about to escape her, she nervously clamped her mouth shut.

If they were in a perilous corner with no time for contemplation, she might have poured out all her thoughts rapidly, hoping Shen Chi truly was the one who could help her.

But in this current atmosphere, akin to an ordinary home visit, those words lingered on her lips, unsure how to be spoken.

Shen Chi watched Si Jin quietly for a moment, perhaps understanding a little.

His awkwardness gradually faded, but a trace of surprise and confusion remained.

“I’m almost completely baffled. If I haven’t misunderstood, then Xiao Chongyun invited me here today just so you and I could discuss… your plans to escape from him?”

At these words, Si Jin also felt somewhat awkward, momentarily at a loss for where to begin.

Shen Chi had not misunderstood anything; his previous speculations were entirely accurate, almost to the point of becoming her lifeline.

Yet the current situation seemed just as peculiar as he had described.

Si Jin still hadn’t figured out why Xiao Rong had suddenly decided to let Shen Chi visit her directly.

Just last night, he had intended to use this as a threat against her.

Surely it couldn’t truly be for the reason of making her stop being angry with him…

Suddenly, in an unconscious lift of her gaze, a dark figure flickered into her line of sight.

Her pupils instantly contracted, her expression froze, and Xiao Rong’s figure, standing gloomily outside the window, imprinted itself in her eyes.

“What’s wrong, Miss Si?”

Snapping back to attention, Si Jin spoke hurriedly before Shen Chi could instinctively turn around: “It’s nothing, Second Young Master Shen. This matter truly… troubles you.”

Xiao Rong stood outside the window without making a sound. His gaze was less sharp and more resentful.

He showed no intention of barging in to interrupt their conversation, but an unshakable gloom emanated from his entire being, making it clear he was hardly willing to let them speak freely.

“Not troublesome at all—I haven’t done anything yet,” Shen Chi said. “After all, you are Xu Zhi’s dear friend, as close as a sister. If you need help, I will spare no effort to assist you. But for now… do you still need my help?”

Si Jin took a deep breath, deliberately shifting her gaze and even her peripheral vision away from the window.

She unconsciously lowered her voice: “I don’t know how to leave this place, and even if I did, it’s possible…”

Si Jin left the rest unsaid, not out of concern for the man by the window whose gaze had grown even more resentful, but because she vaguely didn’t wish to speak of Xiao Rong’s other side—the side unknown to others.

Shen Chi didn’t press further, instead saying, “After our first encounter at the Flower and Bird Market, I already sent a letter to Xu Zhi. By my estimate, she should have received it and be on her way to the capital by now.”

“Really? I’ll be able to see her in the capital?”

Si Jin was genuinely surprised and delighted by this news.

But the moment her words fell, her brow twitched involuntarily.

Her gaze shifted slightly, and she caught sight of Xiao Rong’s extremely dark expression.

Shen Chi: “Yes, she’s not far from the capital and will arrive in at most half a month. If the situation is no longer critical, there’s no need for me to hastily devise plans to rescue you. Wait until Xu Zhi returns, and the two of you can discuss in detail what has been happening around you lately. What do you think?”

Si Jin: “…”

Shen Chi claimed the situation wasn’t critical.

Yet the man by the window was facing her, mouthing the words: Don’t smile at him.

Si Jin didn’t know if this counted as critical.

Only the smile on her lips stiffened, then gradually faded entirely.

She forced a slight curve of her lips and, after a moment, said, “Alright, then please inform me when Xu Zhi returns to the capital.”

“Of course. Xu Zhi herself will undoubtedly come looking for you the moment she arrives.”

Thus, the matter proceeded under this strange atmosphere.

Skipping the step of arranging a meeting during Master Si’s birthday banquet, things had gone so smoothly it was hard to remain tense.

Shen Chi even relaxed quite comfortably, freely enjoying the tea and snacks Xiao Rong had prepared for him.

Si Jin had been watching the figure by the window all along, and coupled with his perpetually unpleasant expression, she genuinely feared Xiao Rong might tamper with the tea and pastries. Even if it wasn’t arsenic, it could well be laxatives—determined to make it difficult for her to receive any further assistance from Shen Chi in the future.

By half-past the hour of Si, Si Jin saw Shen Chi off at the entrance of the mansion.

Watching Shen Chi’s carriage gradually fade into the distance, she suddenly felt a pang of melancholy.

She couldn’t quite identify the emotions stirring within her—a tangled, restless unease that left her neither fully relaxed nor tense enough for her scalp to prickle.

Only when Shen Chi’s carriage had completely vanished from sight did Si Jin withdraw her gaze and turn back into the mansion.

As she made her way back to Qiu Shui Courtyard, her mind lingered on the conversation she’d had with Shen Chi earlier.

Though she and Shen Chi had known each other in the past, their relationship had never been particularly close.

With no memory of those bygone days, perhaps more answers would have to wait until Shen Xuzhi returned to the capital and they could meet.

But…

Would she even be able to meet Shen Xuzhi so smoothly by then?

Si Jin couldn’t help but recall the gloomy face she had just seen outside the window.

Her footsteps halted as she realized she had already arrived at the main chamber of Qiu Shui Courtyard.

Setting aside her other thoughts for the moment, she noticed Xiao Rong was nowhere to be seen.

Where had he gone?

Si Jin blinked, standing before the door.

After a moment’s thought, she raised her hand and pushed the door open.

“Ah—”

A startled cry escaped her, cut short abruptly.

Si Jin stared in fright at the tall figure standing rigidly just inside the door. Anyone would be startled, even if he had been smiling—which he certainly wasn’t.

Moreover, Xiao Rong’s expression remained as unpleasant as ever.

But after the initial shock, Si Jin quickly composed herself. “What are you doing standing here?”

“Waiting for you.”

Well.

That had been a rather pointless question.

Si Jin stepped inside, her eyes immediately catching sight of Xiao Bai’s cage door by the windowsill, which for some reason had been closed.

Ever since she discovered that Xiao Bai wouldn’t fly away even with the cage door open and could come and go freely on its own, she had always left the cage door ajar.

Had the wind from the window blown it shut?

Si Jin tilted her head and walked over.

As soon as she approached the cage, the bird inside grew quite agitated, pressing its sharp beak against the gaps in the bars.

Almost as if… it was tattling?

Si Jin instinctively glanced back and nearly jumped again at the sight of Xiao Rong.

She hadn’t noticed his footsteps earlier and now saw that, as usual, he had followed her, standing just two steps behind.

Si Jin’s lips parted slightly. “Did you close the door?”

As soon as she asked, she regretted it.

If it wasn’t Xiao Rong who had done it, she would be wrongly accusing him. And even if it was him, he might not admit it.

Unexpectedly, Xiao Rong answered promptly, “Yes.”

“I was afraid it would fly away.”

“It won’t fly away.” Si Jin furrowed her delicate brows and turned back, speaking as she opened the door for Xiao Bai. “It stopped flying off long ago. The door has been left open all this time.”

“True.”

Xiao Rong murmured ambiguously, “It likes you. It won’t run away.”

Si Jin: “…”

Ignoring him, she reached out and opened the cage door.

Xiao Bai, as if indignant, nudged its head forward and scrambled out.

When it brushed against Si Jin’s finger, its shaking head and wagging demeanor seemed even more like it was complaining to her—it had been imprisoned by a wicked villain!

Si Jin couldn’t help but chuckle, extending her finger and letting Xiao Bai fuss over it.

She lowered her gaze, tilting her head slightly, trying to get a full view of the little bird beneath her finger.

“Xiao Jin.”

“Hmm?”

Perhaps because she was feeling relaxed at the moment, Si Jin responded naturally, though her gaze remained fixed on Xiao Bai.

“Xiao Jin.”

What was he doing? Why did he keep calling her name?

Si Jin looked up in confusion. Her vision blurred before she could clearly see anything, and Xiao Rong’s kiss abruptly landed on her lips.

Urgent and domineering, forceful and completely unreasonable.

Xiao Rong held Si Jin’s chin with one hand while the other enveloped her finger that was being pecked by the little bird, pulling it back against their tightly pressed chests. He forced her to arch her neck upward, immobilized as she received his kiss.

Caught completely off guard, Si Jin stared wide-eyed in shock.

Xiao Bai, frightened by the sudden movement, immediately darted back into the birdcage.

Xiao Rong’s fingers moved to her neck, tracing her skin before reaching around to cradle the back of her head.

His kiss was heavy and deep, his hot breath washing over Si Jin’s face.

He sucked and bit at her lips like someone starved to the extreme, no longer knowing how to savor slowly but only following instinct to satisfy his hunger without any finesse.

Her lips stung with pain and heat, her tongue numb from his swirling. Moreover, this sudden intimacy instantly angered her.

“Let…”

In that brief moment for breath, she couldn’t even form a complete sentence. Opening her mouth only allowed Xiao Rong to deepen the kiss further.

The intense heat around them kept rising, their heartbeats intertwining in her ears as if carrying away all coherent thought.

Suddenly, Xiao Rong grabbed Si Jin by the thighs and lifted her, pressing her against the windowsill. With her legs pinned and waist gripped, he pushed the kiss toward increasingly erotic territory.

Si Jin never closed her eyes throughout, and in her fierce struggle, she could clearly see Xiao Rong growing more passionate with each kiss, even the corners of his eyes flushed with desire.

His eyelashes trembled, his breathing rough and heavy.

When he suddenly pressed against her, the heat made her scalp tingle.

Unable to bear it any longer, Si Jin lifted her leg and drove her knee squarely into him.

“Mmm…” Xiao Rong shuddered all over, groaning as he temporarily lost his grip on her.

Seizing the opportunity, Si Jin quickly escaped his embrace and retreated to the side, glaring at him furiously.

Xiao Rong’s clothes were in disarray—his open collar revealed the inner crossed-collar shirt and a patch of flushed chest skin. The sash around his waist hung loosely, his robe wrinkled and bunched, unable to conceal his obvious arousal, presenting a temptingly wanton appearance.

He pouted: “That hurt a bit.”

But his eyes remained moist, his voice hoarse to the point where it was clear he wasn’t really in pain at all.

Si Jin gritted her teeth: “What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”

“You met with Shen Chi.” Xiao Rong’s breathing was still unsteady, his chest rising and falling with each word.

Though Si Jin heard his voice, her thoughts were preoccupied with wanting him to fix his clothes first before continuing.

Xiao Rong: “You seemed to be having such a pleasant conversation. I wonder if you can forgive me now?”

Where did he get the idea they were having a pleasant conversation!

Except for that momentary, involuntary smile when Shen Xuzhi was mentioned, she hadn’t been able to relax at all because of those dark eyes staring ominously from outside the window.

“I thought about many things while standing outside the window just now.”

Si Jin’s heart tightened slightly. The last time Xiao Rong said he’d been thinking, he’d unexpectedly invited Shen Chi to the residence. Now she wondered what shocking statement he would make this time.

For a fleeting moment, Si Jin even entertained the unrealistic thought—had he finally come to his senses and decided to let her go?

“I want to go in and kill Shen Chi.”

Si Jin: “…”

“What nonsense are you saying? Wasn’t it you who asked him to come?”

“Just a thought.” Xiao Rong’s eyes darkened. “I didn’t act on it.”

Si Jin stared at him in shock—was this supposed to be commendable?

“This is just an ordinary thought that crossed my mind. I’ve had many others.”

Enough. She didn’t want to know what else he’d been thinking.

Not a single word he spoke now could be considered ordinary.

But Xiao Rong continued: “You’re right. I know full well that no matter how I might act on those thoughts, they’re unjustifiable and unacceptable to you.”

He lowered his gaze, hiding the complexity in his eyes beneath long, thick lashes.

“But those are my most genuine thoughts. I only had two choices: deceive you, so you’d never know about my dark thoughts, or confess to you and risk frightening you away immediately.”

Right now, Si Jin very much wanted to flee.

Yet her pupils trembled, her feet rooted to the spot as if nailed down, her mind thrown into chaos by Xiao Rong’s words.

If she had to make this decision for him, she wouldn’t know what to choose either.

No one wanted to be deceived, to remain forever shrouded in lies. But who wouldn’t want to escape after learning of his dark, terrifying thoughts?

Was that really true?

Si Jin thought this was natural, yet a thread of uncertainty emerged after her initial reaction.

Since the truth had surfaced, their arguments had been intense, frantic, nearly driving her to despair.

But what truly devastated her was the falseness of everything.

In pitch-black darkness, she had entrusted him with her entire being, trusted him wholeheartedly, clung to him without hesitation.

Yet in the end, not only could she not escape herself—everything around her proclaimed it all an illusion. What she clung to remained merely a shadow in the darkness.

As for what true form that shadow would reveal…

She actually…

Xiao Rong watched the shifting expressions on Si Jin’s face. Rarely had he been unable to decipher her thoughts, and he spoke urgently: “But now I want to learn to make a third choice.”

Si Jin blinked but didn’t respond.

“I won’t lie to you anymore.”

Xiao Rong paused, clearly observing Si Jin’s reaction.

But her face remained expressionless—whether lost in thought or still unwilling to speak, he couldn’t tell.

Xiao Rong: “The things you detest and despise—if I can’t hide them, I won’t. I’ll learn to do normal things, things you like, things you can accept. Even if they differ from what I truly want, because all I’ve ever desired is you.”

Hearing this, Si Jin parted her lips, words forming in her throat, but shock and hesitation left her momentarily speechless.

She had the unsettling feeling that if she inopportunely asked, “Really?”, the obedient facade Xiao Rong now displayed would crumble instantly. He’d switch expressions, seize her, and inform her that the fourth option was to exhaust all methods—if she remained unappreciative, he’d have no choice but to lock her away and force her compliance.

The thought made Si Jin shudder.

Xiao Rong’s gaze deepened as he watched her: “Xiao Jin, are you trying to decipher my thoughts?”

“I told you, I won’t deceive you anymore. You can ask me directly.”

“Then will you still force me afterward?”

Xiao Rong fell silent at her words.

His earlier promises had been elaborate and beautifully phrased, but now Si Jin’s single question had stumped him.

He couldn’t help thinking that if he answered “no,” her next words would be about leaving.

Forcing her to stay would make him break his promise immediately.

Not keeping her here?

That was impossible.

Xiao Rong pressed his lips together, his expression darkening noticeably.

He spoke in a low voice: “In any case, I won’t lie to you anymore. From now on, I’ll only speak truthfully to you.”

Si Jin’s mind was in turmoil, unable to process things quickly.

Because of Xiao Rong’s torrent of words, and because of that kiss that had made her soul tremble.

Yes, she angrily realized she still hadn’t fully recovered from that kiss.

Her tongue felt numb, her lips burned, and whenever her gaze swept past Xiao Rong’s rosy lips, her heart would involuntarily skip a beat.

Si Jin frowned slightly as she thought for a long moment before finally understanding.

Was Xiao Rong trying to imply that avoiding an answer didn’t count as lying?

Xiao Rong, observing her expression, was much more clear-headed than Si Jin.

Seeing her expression change slightly, he spoke again: “I won’t deceive you. I’ll ask for your consent beforehand regarding anything I want to do.”

Si Jin had already regained her composure and replied without hesitation this time: “Forcing isn’t asking. It’s doing despite being refused.”

Xiao Rong looked quite docile with his slightly lowered eyes.

“Alright, I understand.” His eyelashes fluttered lightly. “Then can I return to sleep on the bed tonight?”

“No.”

Xiao Rong wasn’t surprised, as if he had only asked to demonstrate what he’d just learned.

A shadow flashed in his eyes but quickly vanished: “Alright, then I won’t come over to sleep after you’ve fallen asleep tonight.”

That night.

The candles in the bedchamber were extinguished. On the spacious canopy bed, a slender figure lay curled on her side beneath the blankets.

The beauty on the bed had cascading black hair spread across the pillow, her bright eyes tightly closed. Moonlight cast faint shadows beneath her eyelashes, soft light enveloping this peaceful scene as if bringing gentle dreams to the sleeper.

The doors and windows were tightly shut, yet a slight breeze stirred.

In the silent stillness, a dark shadow moved.

She’s so obedient.

Sleeping quietly here, not moving at all.

The hair on the pillow was picked up by a large, well-defined hand, held in the palm, and brought close to the nose.

A deep inhale broke the night’s tranquility, the hair ends dangling through the gaps between fingers swaying lightly in the air.

So fragrant too. Her scent filled his nostrils, making saliva constantly well up in his throat, unconsciously producing swallowing sounds.

After sniffing, his intensified breathing could no longer return to calm.

The moved-aside hair revealed a section of smooth, porcelain-white skin, but it was soon mostly covered by an approaching shadow.

Damp, cool, sticky.

Sucking, licking, kissing.

Even in the deep darkness, several red marks of varying intensity could be seen appearing on the back of her neck.

“Mmm…”

A vague, soft moan briefly halted the other’s dark, obsessive advances.

But soon, the presence shamelessly moved forward from the back of her neck.

Earlobe, corner of the eye.

Upright, delicate nose tip, soft, springy cheek.

Finally, those full, glistening lips.

A touch and separation, a brief taste.

The restrained force even made the dark shadow tremble uncontrollably, suppressing waves of pleasurable excitement.

In the darkness, the crouching black shadow remained still for a long while before slowly rising upright, returning the bright moonlight to the slender figure on the bed.

Xiao Rong stood by the bedside, his gaze once again tracing downward along Si Jin’s peacefully sleeping face.

From head to toe, even to her soft strands of hair.

His tongue lightly traced the circumference of his lower lip, leaving the thin lips glistening with moisture, yet the dryness in his throat only grew more unbearable.

He couldn’t force her, nor could he sneak onto the bed while she slept.

The last glimmer of light in Xiao Rong’s eyes vanished completely the moment his gaze shifted away from Si Jin, swallowed by the depths of his shadowy pupils.

Behind him, silence reigned, as if no one had come and no one had left.

Yet when the screen door closed, it inevitably emitted a faint, almost imperceptible sound.

On the bed, the face that had seemed peacefully asleep suddenly opened its eyes, the pupils clear and alert, devoid of any trace of drowsiness.

After a long stretch of silent night, a deep exhale sounded from the bed. Then, the person on the bed turned over, closed their eyes once more, and did not wake for the rest of the night.