Chapter 4 As If He Were the Most Pitiful Person in the World…

“It should be Ning Gu,” Xiao Rong said calmly. “I happened to run into her when I returned to the residence, so I instructed her about this matter.”

Ning Gu had once been a maid serving Xiao Rong’s mother. Now that she was older and less suitable to remain by Madam Xiao’s side, she had been assigned to Xiao Rong’s residence as the head Mama of Wan Yi Fang when he married.

Si Jin remained silent for a long while.

She didn’t know what to say.

The strange feeling in her heart hadn’t dissipated with Xiao Rong’s seemingly reasonable explanation, yet she couldn’t think of any other reason.

Until Xiao Rong spoke again: “Do you care that much about that silk handkerchief?”

Si Jin suddenly snapped back to reality, her cheeks growing warm.

Had she made Xiao Rong think she was making a fuss over nothing?

“No, it’s just that I’ve been losing things frequently lately, and I don’t want to be so careless anymore.”

After saying this, Si Jin thought Xiao Rong wouldn’t respond further.

Unexpectedly, he continued asking: “What have you lost?”

Si Jin was taken aback, opening her mouth but not yet speaking.

Xiao Rong added: “I’ll have people help you look for them.”

“No need, they’re just some small items.”

Well, the others were indeed just small items – except for her undergarments.

But she would never tell Xiao Rong about that.

Si Jin slightly lowered her gaze. Though she hadn’t said much, the blush on her face became increasingly noticeable.

Xiao Rong stared directly at her, his Adam’s apple bobbing before he turned to pour himself a cup of water at the table.

Several days passed, and Si Jin saw the maid retrieve the cleaned clothes from Wan Yi Fang, along with that light blue silk handkerchief from that day.

It seemed the handkerchief truly hadn’t been lost, and she felt somewhat relieved.

Then came more good news.

Si Jin’s long-separated close friend, the third young lady of the Shen family, Shen Xuzhi, sent a letter informing that she would soon arrive in the capital.

A year ago, Shen Xuzhi had left the capital to travel with her elder brother and hadn’t returned since.

She had departed in haste – no sooner had she decided on her departure date than the Emperor suddenly issued the marriage decree.

Thus, throughout this past year, Si Jin had no one to confide in about the depression caused by this marriage.

After a year apart, Shen Xuzhi was finally returning to the capital, and Si Jin was overjoyed.

“I’m off duty today.” Xiao Rong’s voice interrupted Si Jin’s thoughts.

He had come to Qiu Shui Courtyard early in the morning, waiting until Si Jin rose before having breakfast with her.

Si Jin snapped back to reality at the sound and quickly understood what he meant, shaking her head repeatedly: “That won’t be necessary, I can go by myself.”

Xiao Rong was standing by the window, tending to the pot of narcissus on the windowsill that had passed its blooming season.

Si Jin had bought it from the Flower and Bird Market earlier this spring and placed it on the main hall’s windowsill. But it was mostly Xiao Rong who carefully maintained it whenever he visited. Throughout the spring, that pot of narcissus had bloomed particularly vibrantly.

But blooming seasons eventually end. They would have to wait until next spring to see its elegant buds again.

Xiao Rong didn’t turn around, still carefully trimming the narcissus’ green leaves with scissors.

He stated plainly: “There are many eyes watching outside.”

Si Jin didn’t think much of it: “I’m just going shopping. I want to choose a gift to welcome Xuzhi back, and I’ll be visiting shops meant for young ladies. Does it really matter if you don’t come along?”

A crisp snap—

A yellowing leaf was cut from the narcissus.

Xiao Rong picked up the lifeless leaf and casually tossed it into the muddy ground outside the window.

Si Jin took his silence as acquiescence.

However, she soon remembered the Mid-Autumn Lantern Festival next month, when Shen Xuzhi would arrive in the capital, and they could arrange to visit it together.

“By the way, there’s one more thing.” Si Jin hesitated over her wording, but after a moment’s thought, she decided to speak directly. “It seems you’ll also be on leave during the lantern festival next month?”

“Mm.”

“Could you find an excuse then to say you’re busy with official duties?”

Another crisp snap—

This one was sharper than before, sounding somewhat abrupt.

Xiao Rong asked, “What’s wrong?”

Si Jin: “I plan to visit the lantern festival with Xuzhi then. If you say you can’t accompany me due to official business, it shouldn’t raise any suspicions.”

After all, not every married couple was so inseparable, let alone their performative relationship.

She could only blame Xiao Rong for portraying their relationship as too intimate in public, making even normal temporary separation require finding excuses.

After speaking, Si Jin looked frankly at Xiao Rong, awaiting his response.

A soft clatter came from the window as scissors were set down.

Xiao Rong withdrew his hand and turned to look at her. His gaze held no particular emotion, yet it made one somewhat uneasy.

“I’ve never actually attended a lantern festival before. I’ve heard the streets are decorated with lanterns and streamers, extremely lively.”

Xiao Rong paused, making Si Jin hold her breath. The Dasheng Dynasty particularly loved celebrating festivals with bustling gatherings.

The Shangyuan Festival, Huazhao Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival.

New Year’s Eve, Dragon Boat Festival, Winter Solstice.

From small market fairs to grand lantern festivals, both commoners and nobility would participate.

Although Xiao Rong indeed didn’t seem like someone who would enjoy crowded, noisy lantern festivals, Si Jin was still surprised that someone could reach adulthood without ever attending one.

Xiao Rong now wore a somewhat lonely, disappointed expression that actually made Si Jin feel genuinely guilty, as if she had shattered his original expectations over half a month in advance.

Si Jin opened her mouth, about to say something.

But Xiao Rong suddenly spoke first: “However, I am indeed burdened with official duties and likely won’t have free time then. No need to deliberately find an excuse.”

Si Jin’s unspoken words stuck in her throat, leaving her strangely deflated, the initial satisfaction of their agreement inexplicably vanished.

After a long moment, she finally responded softly: “Alright, it’s settled then.”

As Si Jin rode in the carriage toward Liuli Pavilion, her thoughts weren’t at all focused on what gift to buy for Shen Xuzhi.

It was all Xiao Rong’s fault, speaking so inexplicably and making such expressions.

As if he were the most pitiable person in the world.

Rationally speaking, there was nothing pitiable about Xiao Rong at all, yet whenever the image of him with downcast eyes and soft voice surfaced in her mind, it became hard to maintain rationality.

What annoyed Si Jin even more was that this wasn’t the first time she’d been affected by Xiao Rong’s facade.

The first time was back when he’d tricked her into getting heatstroke.

When she saw Xiao Rong again, she angrily demanded an explanation.

Xiao Rong looked calmly at her furious appearance: “You believed it?”

Si Jin widened her eyes: “Of course! I waited by the pond until I got heatstroke!”

Xiao Rong offered an unapologetic apology: “Sorry.”

Si Jin grew even angrier and was about to continue scolding him when he actually had the nerve to ask: “Can you forgive me?”

So she shouted fiercely: “I’ll never forgive you!”

Xiao Rong urgently reached out, but only managed to grasp the hem of her clothing.

His excuses were utterly unoriginal, his tone still stiff and peculiar, only the way he lowered his gaze and spoke softly revealed a hint of pitifulness.

He said, “I didn’t mean to.”

He apologized, “I’m sorry, it was my fault.”

He pleaded with her, “Will you forgive me?”

Xiao Rong kept repeating these same phrases, yet Si Jin was still coaxed into forgiving him.

At this thought, Si Jin shook her head vigorously, her brow tightly furrowed.

It was precisely because she had been too soft-hearted initially and forgave Xiao Rong once that she later gave him so many opportunities to mistreat her.

Si Jin entered the Liuli Pavilion, where the dazzling array of accessories left her momentarily overwhelmed, making it even harder to decide what to buy.

She browsed carefully through the pavilion, slightly bending forward at each display to examine them closely.

Until an abrupt voice came from behind: “What are you doing here?”

Si Jin nearly jumped out of her skin, turning to find Si Yingdong standing behind her with arms crossed.

The panic in Si Jin’s eyes hadn’t yet faded when irritation surged in her heart.

Did Si Yingdong walk without making any sound? Besides, what business was it of hers where she was or what she was doing?

Si Jin shot her an annoyed glare and retorted bluntly, “Can’t you see I’m choosing accessories?”

Si Yingdong’s gaze swept around Si Jin before she said with sarcasm, “No matter how gaudily you dress up, you’re still just an empty shell relying on looks to seduce people.”

“By that logic, are you here to dress up gaudily and seduce people too?”

“Si Jin! How dare you talk nonsense!”

“You were the one who insulted me first!”

The surrounding servants kept their heads bowed without reaction, as if accustomed to the constant friction between these two sisters.

Si Yingdong was purely stirring up trouble for no reason.

She had just happened to come here and run into Si Jin, which completely ruined her good mood from going out. She felt compelled to criticize her a few times to vent her frustration.

Si Jin glared at her, able to guess what unreasonable thoughts were in her mind without her having to speak.

As if seeing her would improve her own mood – she’d rather see Xiao Rong than Si Yingdong.

Never mind, forget Xiao Rong too.

He was only slightly better than Si Yingdong.

Si Yingdong turned her head away, muttering under her breath: “If the Xiao family hadn’t made that mistake back then, how could such good fortune have fallen to Si Jin? No matter what, it should have been Second Sister…”

“Si Yingdong, what did you say?”

Si Yingdong started, immediately pressing her lips together.

She instinctively took a step back, clear panic on her face, obviously realizing she had inadvertently said something she shouldn’t have.

Si Jin frowned slightly, having caught most of it.

Si Yingdong said the Xiao family had made a mistake.

Back then – was that when the Emperor arranged the marriage?

Si Jin stepped forward: “What did you mean by what you just said?”

“What do you mean, what did I mean? It’s just…” Si Yingdong nervously swallowed, not because she feared Si Jin, but because of her own inappropriate words.

But still unwilling to lose face, she stiffly insisted: “J-just the literal meaning.”

“What did you mean about the Xiao family making a mistake?”

Si Yingdong froze, her panic fading as she straightened up in surprise: “You don’t know?”

She had thought Si Jin changed expression because she had carelessly mentioned Second Sister, never imagining she didn’t even know the most important background.

Si Yingdong’s eyes darted, then suddenly she caught on, saying with a hint of smugness, “Oh right, of course you wouldn’t know. You weren’t even qualified to attend the Si and Xiao families’ banquets back then.”

Si Yingdong had thought this would anger and embarrass Si Jin, unaware that Si Jin had always been most grateful for not receiving invitations to those banquets.

If not for that, she wouldn’t have had the chance to reduce her interactions with Xiao Rong, seeing less and less of him as time went on.

As they grew older, the gap between them widened like clouds and mud, and Si Jin never harbored such grand ambitions, content with a simple, ordinary life.

Si Jin only pressed on the question that mattered to her: “Then tell me, what do you mean by ‘the Xiao family made a mistake, so this marriage fell to me’?”

Displeased at not getting the reaction she wanted, Si Yingdong retorted, “Why should I tell you just because you ask?”

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll spread word that you said this marriage should have gone to Second Sister.”

Si Yingdong nearly jumped in fury. “Si Jin! I never said that!”

“You did. I heard you.”

Not wanting to drag it out, Si Jin repeated, “Unless you answer my question.”

Si Yingdong snorted, looking at Si Jin disdainfully. “Fine, telling you won’t hurt.”

It wasn’t a secret anyway—not only the Si and Xiao families but many court officials knew about it.

How foolish Si Jin must be to remain completely ignorant even now.

The thought made Si Yingdong smug again.

Si Jin had no interest in the exaggerated drama unfolding in Si Yingdong’s mind and urged, “Then hurry up and tell me.”

Si Yingdong lowered her voice. “Back then, someone in the Xiao family acted rashly and caused trouble. Not only was the Xiao family held accountable, but the Si family was also implicated. Though the Emperor didn’t punish them, the Xiao family had already misstepped. To stabilize their position, they had to choose to marry the most useless one in the Si family—you—to show there was no alliance between the families. But no one expected the Xiao family to sacrifice so much, with Xiao Chongyun being the one for the marriage.”

Silence fell for a moment.

Si Yingdong stared at Si Jin’s face, eager to see her shocked and pained expression.

But Si Jin still didn’t show the expected reaction, only frowning as she asked, “Who in the Xiao family caused this trouble?”

“How should I know? All I know is, Xiao Chongyun never wanted to marry you in the first place.”

As if anyone did willingly.

In this matter, Xiao Rong was at most half a victim—she was the one who drew the short straw!

Just which fool in the Xiao family had done such a thing?

Si Jin pursed her lips and fell silent.

Si Yingdong fumed, “Si Jin, are you even listening to me?”

“You’re so noisy. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Looking genuinely annoyed and with no mind to argue, Si Jin strode away, her face sullen, leaving Si Yingdong shouting her name a few times behind her before the sounds faded.