Chapter 46

“Sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me…”

Si Jin’s suggestion left Xiao Rong silent for so long that she began to wonder if he had fallen asleep.

It was only in the darkness that Xiao Rong’s low voice, tinged with unreadable emotion, finally came: “Alright.”

By daybreak the next morning, Si Jin was already starting to regret the suggestion she had made in the midst of her wandering thoughts the previous night.

Xiao Rong’s mother’s condition was not optimistic, having recently been further affected by the news of his father’s death.

His cold, detached words from that time still echoed in her ears.

“She’s dying.”

Yesterday, Si Jin hadn’t even bothered to ask Xiao Rong about his mother’s current condition before impulsively making such a suggestion.

Xiao Rong’s agreement had been too quiet, his emotions too subdued. This morning, he had left the residence early to handle follow-up matters at the Ministry of Justice and hadn’t been seen since, leaving Si Jin feeling uneasy. She wondered if he had only agreed to accommodate her wishes.

In truth, Si Jin simply felt that since she was with Xiao Rong, and he was about to accompany her to Xiqiu to meet her parents and elder brother, she ought to meet his mother as well.

But his mother’s situation was different from most, and perhaps Xiao Rong wasn’t willing to let her.

All morning, Si Jin found herself preoccupied with these thoughts, forgetting to inquire about Xiao Rong’s schedule for the day.

By noon, distracted, she called for a servant to bring the meal. She had just taken her first bite when she saw Xiao Rong appear at the door, his expression dark. She stared blankly, taking a moment to react, and failing to understand the reason for his gloomy demeanor.

Xiao Rong’s gaze quickly swept over the food on the table before shifting to the empty seat beside Si Jin, where a chair was pulled in but no bowl or chopsticks were set.

He walked over, pulled out the chair, and sat down.

If not for his stormy expression and tightly pressed lips that clearly indicated he had no intention of speaking, his familiar way of sitting down would have been no different from their usual meals together.

Si Jin blinked, gradually coming back to her senses, and asked, “Why are you back?”

At her words, Xiao Rong’s face darkened even further.

Si Jin glanced at him in confusion, then looked toward Lan Xin, who was waiting by the door.

Lan Xin’s face was full of terror, as if she were about to drop to her knees.

Xiao Rong suddenly spoke, his tone cold: “This morning when I left, I instructed that if you asked, you were to be told I would return at noon to have the meal with you.”

Si Jin froze, unconsciously responding: “But I didn’t ask.”

Because she hadn’t asked, she had gone ahead and started her meal on her own, and he had returned just in time to see it—no place set for him, the food portioned for one.

Thinking of this, and recalling how he had stood before her with that dark expression, Si Jin didn’t find him intimidating. Instead, she felt a mix of absurdity and a touch of grievance.

“Have you eaten?”

It seemed she was deliberately asking questions that would irritate him further.

Of course he hadn’t eaten. He had specifically given those instructions so he could return at noon to share the meal with her.

But she hadn’t inquired about him at all.

Watching Xiao Rong’s seemingly inscrutable expression, which she somehow instantly understood, Si Jin couldn’t help but let the corners of her lips lift slightly. Quietly, she reached her hand under the table.

The moment her fingers hooked around his, her entire hand was immediately enveloped by his in return.

Si Jin remained motionless and said, “I’ve been feeling rather muddled since rising this morning, perhaps from exhaustion last night. I was wondering how you managed to rise before dawn when we retired together—it must be because you had urgent matters to attend to. I didn’t want to disturb you, nor did I expect you to return.”

Xiao Rong’s brow twitched slightly. “Did I wake you this morning?”

Si Jin studied Xiao Rong for a moment.

Suddenly, she understood why her thoughts had always been so transparent to him in the past—how he could see through her intentions before she even spoke.

Just like now, gazing at this nearly expressionless face, she inexplicably discerned a hint of guilt beneath his dark eyes.

It was likely that someone had risen before dawn, moving with such care as to avoid disturbing the other still asleep.

But before leaving, he had probably leaned over the bed, kissing and nibbling until she murmured softly in her dreams, before reluctantly pulling away and slipping out silently into the darkness.

“I only vaguely sensed someone missing from my side. When I cracked my eyes open and saw it was still dark, I simply closed them and fell back into deep sleep. I wasn’t disturbed—I slept quite well.”

Xiao Rong’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he remarked ambiguously, “Then I’ll move even more quietly next time.”

This was undoubtedly an admission—he had indeed kissed and nibbled.

Next time he’d be gentler, but there would definitely be a next time.

Si Jin had no intention of exposing him. She lightly licked her lips and raised her other hand, calling out, “Lan Xin, prepare another set of bowls and chopsticks, and add two more dishes.”

“Yes, madam.”

With no one temporarily at the door, Si Jin lowered her voice. “Next time you need to give instructions, have someone tell me directly. Had I known you’d return when I woke this morning, my mood would have been much better all morning.”

As soon as she spoke, Si Jin realized she had inadvertently revealed her worries.

Xiao Rong was silent for a moment, then rubbed his thumb back and forth over the back of her hand.

“Her condition has been unexpectedly stable lately.”

“Mother? Is her spirit better?”

“Not better or worse, just…”

Xiao Rong paused as if considering how to phrase it.

Finally, he stated directly, “I initially thought news of that person’s death would be a heavy blow to her—that she would completely lose control emotionally and eventually die with no remaining support. But unexpectedly, it seems it wasn’t a blow to her, but more like a release.”

“Word from the mountain indicates her emotional outbursts have decreased recently, her pulse has gradually stabilized, and she rarely acts out. She remains quiet most of the time.”

Si Jin said joyfully, “Does this mean Mother is showing signs of recovery?”

“She’s been mad for decades—recovery isn’t possible. She still doesn’t remember things or recognize people, but emotional stability is a better situation for both her and those around her.”

“I see…”

Si Jin lowered her head, momentarily at a loss for words.

Actually, she sensed that Xiao Rong didn’t seem particularly concerned about this matter. He appeared indifferent—whether Mother lived or died, was mad or calm, it didn’t evoke much emotional response from him.

Her previous worries seemed unnecessary, yet how could she possibly share Xiao Rong’s perspective?

This wasn’t something one could remain indifferent about.

After the meal, servants entered to clear the table.

Si Jin asked casually, “Will you be leaving the residence again later?”

No sooner had she spoken than a pair of arms encircled her, lifting her to sit on his lap.

“Sounds like you’re trying to send me away.”

“Stop being unreasonable, I never meant that.”

Though Si Jin denied it, Xiao Rong still wore a displeased expression, as if genuinely being driven away by her.

Even though he already had her tightly locked in his embrace at this moment.

Si Jin wrapped her arms around his neck, squinting slightly as she looked at him: “What are you thinking about again?”

Xiao Rong lifted his head slightly, meeting her gaze with a look that said “Since you asked, I’ll tell you.”

Si Jin’s brow twitched, and she immediately covered his mouth with her hand.

No need to say it—she felt she could already guess.

But Xiao Rong’s muffled voice escaped from beneath her palm: “I was thinking how unreasonable I’d have to be before you’d coax me.”

“I was just asking casually. You admitted you’re being unreasonable—should I still coax you then?”

“Of course. You didn’t wait to dine with me, and now you’re driving me away right after the meal.” Xiao Rong stated matter-of-factly, “You ought to coax me.”

Si Jin laughed at him: “You’re being far too petty. These are such trivial matters.”

“Trivial matters?” Xiao Rong’s expression shifted unpredictably, “But I care deeply. I’ve never been magnanimous—always narrow-minded and dark-hearted. Whether it’s major or minor, anything related to you, I can’t help but imagine the worst outcome first. Even the smallest things make me…”

“Alright, alright, stop talking.”

Si Jin couldn’t bear to listen any longer. Cupping his face, she leaned down and kissed him, wisely not pulling away immediately but actively deepening the kiss.

She felt the body in front of her stiffen noticeably, as if surprised.

But the stiffness vanished in an instant. As his arm tightened around her waist, his tongue eagerly entangled with hers.

The kiss enveloped the surrounding air in an ambiguous atmosphere, their pressed-together bodies gradually radiating intense heat.

The situation seemed to spiral out of control—out of control in how Si Jin’s attempt to comfort him sparked her own selfish desires, employing all the kissing techniques she’d recently learned in one fervent moment.

Xiao Rong’s breathing noticeably quickened, and his ever-unrestrained reaction emerged swiftly regardless of setting.

So spirited, it almost made one wonder if it hadn’t been overused yesterday.

Yet the kiss continued, with no further advances beyond Xiao Rong’s hands unable to restrain themselves kneading her waist.

The sensual kiss was unexpectedly tender, tugging at one’s heart with trembling intensity, creating a contradiction between wanting to continue and clinging to this gentleness.

In truth, Si Jin knew Xiao Rong had likely noticed her slight melancholy during the meal.

Though claiming to want her comfort, he was actually using his own way to soothe her emotions.

He probably didn’t understand why she’d grieve for a stranger unrelated to her—might not even deem it worth grieving over, since even he himself felt no attachment.

Between tangled lips and tongues, Xiao Rong murmured against her mouth: “I have to leave the manor soon, won’t return until dusk.”

Si Jin felt somewhat dazed under the not-too-intense kissing.

Her gloomy mood had indeed been carried away by him, and she only nodded dully: “Mm, I’ll wait to dine with you when you return. You should go now…”

His grip on her waist tightened, and he bit her lip as if in indignation: “Driving me away again? You’ll have to comfort me longer now.”

Before Si Jin could process this, she suddenly found herself lifted into the air.

She let out a soft gasp, instinctively wrapping her legs around Xiao Rong’s waist as he lifted her directly into his arms.

Xiao Rong stood straight, effortlessly supporting her beneath her thighs as he strode toward the bed.

Si Jin’s eyes widened in shock, the warmth she had felt moments earlier completely vanishing from her heart.

He truly was reckless. Hadn’t he said they were going out? With so little time available, he still wanted to do this? And hadn’t they done it numerous times just yesterday—was he still not satisfied?

Her thoughts in disarray, Si Jin unconsciously tightened her legs when Xiao Rong’s knees touched the bed. She felt a familiar tingling sensation spreading from her toes, gathering intensity until even her lower abdomen seemed to grow warm.

She didn’t know when her face had flushed, but when Xiao Rong laid her on the bed, he noticed immediately.

Xiao Rong paused as he bent to remove her shoes, then revealed a faint smile at the corner of his lips.

“Xiao Jin, do you want to do it? You look so eager.”

“W-what eagerness? I’m not at all!”

As her embroidered shoes were swiftly removed, Si Jin clutched the ties of her garment, clearly still thinking they were going to proceed and determined to prevent him from succeeding.

But after standing up, Xiao Rong merely turned away to remove his own shoes.

He lay down beside her, gathering her close as they both slipped under the covers.

“Comfort me. Take a nap with me,” Xiao Rong murmured with a smile, tilting his head to kiss her hair.

Thump, thump—

Si Jin’s heart raced wildly, a mix of embarrassment and frustration. Fortunately, though her face was flushed crimson, nestled against Xiao Rong’s chest she didn’t have to meet his gaze.

“I woke too early this morning. I felt utterly exhausted all morning without seeing you.”

Her nervousness faltered, and she couldn’t resist lifting her head to look at him.

But Xiao Rong had already closed his eyes, his long, thick lashes casting faint shadows beneath them.

Her embarrassment faded, replaced by a pang of heartache at how hard he worked outside.

In an instant, she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Mm, sleep. I’ll stay right here with you.”

A warm breath brushed her ear, followed by Xiao Rong’s drowsy murmur, almost too soft to hear:

“Forever and always…?”

As Xiao Rong had fallen asleep, he didn’t hear the response whispered against his chest.

“Mm, forever and always.” She kissed the steady beat of his heart. “I swear it.”