Chapter 62: Nightmare

I’m here to collect a debt.

Holding the Imperial Token, the group passed through the border smoothly, but the weather was truly dreadful. Considering the women couldn’t endure the rough journey, what was originally planned as a half-month return to the palace would likely be delayed by another half month.

After crossing the Mo River, the blizzard gradually subsided, but the road was covered in ice, making it impossible for the horses to gallop quickly.

After several horses fell in succession, Ji Ling suggested resting for the night until the weather cleared and the ice melted.

Zhao Ze initially disagreed, but upon hearing from Jin Cheng that the Princess was slightly unwell, he brought them to a royal villa in Fen City, planning to stay for one night.

They were already not far from the imperial city, so surely nothing unexpected would happen now.

Moreover, the journey had been surprisingly smooth thus far.

After the group settled in, Jin Cheng asked Ji Ling to distract Zhao Ze while he went to the eastern wing located at the innermost part of the villa.

There was a natural hot spring here, with warm, crystal-clear flowing water – most suitable for relieving fatigue after a long journey.

Among those traveling together, besides Zhao Ze – the Crown Prince’s trusted agent planted in the Zhenbei Army – were two maids who had previously served the Princess closely: Su Zi and Tao Yan.

Most of the eunuchs and palace maids from Liuchang Palace had been dismissed by the Crown Prince, yet these two whom the Princess was accustomed to using were exceptionally well cared for.

Though the Crown Prince was usually overwhelmed with handling official duties, managing various factions, and striving to impress before His Majesty, he remained meticulous and hands-on in matters concerning the Princess.

Had His Majesty not strictly ordered him to investigate the salt mine affair, the task of retrieving the Princess likely wouldn’t have fallen to him.

But such is the irony of fate – sometimes the more one desires something, the more elusive it becomes.

By the time Jin Cheng reached the corridor, his heart had settled like still water.

Seeing Zisu come out of the wing room carrying a tray, he stepped forward and knocked three times on the door.

A lazy “Hmm” came from inside. He pushed the door open and entered, unsurprised to see a pale, lifeless face staring blankly by the window.

Ever since he appeared three days ago and explained everything, the Princess had remained in this listless state.

Partly due to royal affairs, and partly because of that person.

Jin Cheng sighed softly. “We’ve reached Fen City. Has Your Highness reached a decision?”

Li Youqing had indeed been thinking a lot these past few days – about her identity, the rumors spreading in the capital, her Imperial Brother’s feelings for her, and…

“Does Father Emperor truly never wish to see me again?” After a long depression, she could only ask this childish question, utterly disheartened.

Jin Cheng sat opposite her, smiling wryly. “His Majesty gave you another choice precisely because he genuinely cares for you. If you’re willing to abandon everything and wander the world with that person, I’ll let you both go. If you choose to return to the palace, you’ll still enjoy endless honor and privilege. How can this be called not wanting to see you?”

Even the Son of Heaven cannot escape troublesome family matters.

“Perhaps he’s more unwilling to have the Crown Prince of Daliang entangled with a woman of dubious lineage like me,” Li Youqing frowned, gazing at the red plum blossoms in the courtyard where a crow landed on a branch, emitting an ominous, hoarse caw.

“If Your Highness insists on thinking in such a stubborn way, there’s nothing I can do. I only hope you’ll make a decision soon.” Jin Cheng, conflicted inwardly, could only speak as rationally and objectively as possible. “It simply depends on who you wish to spend your life with.”

“Do you truly think so?” Watching the cold crow fly away, a glint of frost flashed in Li Youqing’s eyes as her slender fingers gently traced the Nine-Eyed Dzi Bead adorning her right wrist.

She used to enjoy keeping company with noble young masters like Jin Cheng precisely because of his simple nature—he never assumed the worst in others and acted with spontaneous sincerity, which greatly appealed to her.

But after this ordeal, she realized such a person was not truly suited for her.

The alternative path Father Emperor had left her hinged on Xuan Rui secretly following her beyond the frontier.

Her hint to Jin Cheng to allow Xuan Rui to take her away might have been to frame him with charges, or to prevent her return from disrupting the Crown Prince’s prospects, or perhaps to test her own intentions.

Whatever the purpose, it made any return to the northwest utterly impossible.

“A Cheng, with such a temperament, I advise you not to pursue high office in the future,” Li Youqing lifted her gaze, noticing the embarrassment coloring his expression, and couldn’t help but laugh softly.

“The imperial decree was clear: Xuan Rui is commanded to lead the three armies in defending the northwest and must not return to the capital without summons.” She shook her head, her smile turning more sardonic. “Have you ever wondered, A Cheng, why Father Emperor didn’t have you release me in the northwest but waited until we passed the frontier?”

Jin Cheng froze, momentarily at a loss for words.

“For a border general to leave his post without authorization is rebellion. He has just taken command of the three armies with unstable foundations. If he appears here now, not only would he lose his newly conferred title, but everything would crumble overnight. The Zhenbei Army would splinter into chaos. A Cheng, do you truly believe he would come…”

“How naive you are…”

“Princess, where there is gain, there must be loss,” he still believed that for the sake of a loved one, one could abandon everything.

“You’ve been like this since childhood—never weighing gains and losses, simply following your heart,” Li Youqing rested her cheek on one hand, studying his handsome yet boyishly innocent face, suddenly feeling a pang of nostalgia.

“In this brief life of mere decades, I am too selfish—I only consider myself and… those I love.” His fair skin, already translucent, flushed with a faint blush, making him appear even more endearingly youthful.

As Li Youqing watched him, she couldn’t stop her thoughts from drifting to another man.

That rigid, cold man, who could be tender and loving at times, who would cradle her in his palms.

“Besides, I’ve endured over a decade of gossip about myself and my mother consort. A Cheng, even if I weren’t a princess, I could never slink away in disgrace with someone.” As she spoke these words, an inexplicable chill spread from her lips, yet her resolve had never been firmer.

She never understood before why her mother consort disliked her while doting excessively on Li Yuan, daughter of Li Zhen Wang.

Now, she vaguely comprehended.

There had been a moment when she sincerely hoped Xuan Rui would take her away, far from the tangled troubles of the imperial city.

To find a serene place with clear waters and green mountains, and live a carefree life.

She had genuinely considered simply walking away.

The imperial city she once missed unbearably now seemed like a giant beast with bloody jaws, waiting to devour her.

The Imperial Brother she once felt so close to now appeared repeatedly in her nightmares, startling her awake drenched in cold sweat, disoriented and lost.

The one who could warm her and hold her close was not here. She had lost her shelter, drifting forward like a lone leaf on the water.

For her, what was left in the imperial city worth lingering for?

Father Emperor was no father, her brother was no brother, and her imperial consort mother even less so…

She wasn’t even slightly curious about who her biological father might be.

In the past, when she thought Imperial Brother was going to sell her to Zhenbei Wang, she fled overnight. Now that Imperial Brother had become the buyer himself, she strangely didn’t dare escape.

Probably even Father Emperor didn’t know that Zhao Ze was hidden within the Zhenbei Army—

Who would have thought that the young officer who once protected her during Bai Cha’s ambush would turn out to be Imperial Brother’s confidant.

“A Cheng, sometimes I truly envy you.” She blinked, a hint of mischief shining in her eyes.

Jin Cheng understood she was teasing him but didn’t take offense, only worrying: “Your Highness, if he really comes, what will you do?”

“A Cheng, remember this—he will never come—”

~

When Jin Cheng returned to his room near dusk, a tall figure cast a suffocating shadow against the screen.

“Commander Xuan, my apologies for the wait.” He walked around the screen, frowning. “According to our original agreement, if the princess refuses, you should leave on your own.”

“Did you tell her I came?” Xuan Rui studied the fair-skinned youth before him, never imagining the last person willing to help him would be this boy.

Recalling the princess’s attitude, Jin Cheng shook his head: “I didn’t tell her, but Her Highness made it clear—she won’t go with you.”

Even having anticipated her response, Xuan Rui’s chest still tightened with pain. He said quietly, “Thank you. If you ever face difficulties in the future, this General will repay the favor.”

Surrounded by darkness and lacking martial skills, Jin Cheng only heard the window breeze still before finding himself alone in the room.

He didn’t light a lamp, sitting silently in the dark for a while.

His thoughts tangled chaotically, his mind filled with the princess’s words: “How naive you are…”

After sitting for nearly an hour, he smiled self-mockingly, picked up a lantern, and headed back toward the eastern wing.

~

Li Youqing had been having frequent nightmares lately—of Father Emperor looking at her with disgust, of Crown Prince brother wanting to lock her in a gilded cage.

But none compared to the other dream.

She dreamed of Xuan Rui, his cold eyes glaring as he pushed her onto the bed, demanding again and again why she left.

Though terrifying, when she recalled it afterward, the dream felt more… intimate.

Perhaps because he had been so unrestrained in those matters, making it so that whenever they were together, they’d either be kissing in chairs or being half-persuaded, half-pushed onto the bed…

Remembering it made her blush, her heart racing. She almost wished he’d been fiercer in the dream.

That night, when the candles in her room suddenly extinguished and a chilling wind swept her onto the bed, she thought she was dreaming again.

Before her were those cold eyes, the man’s expression like furious desert sands, tugging her heart up and down.

“Gen… General?”She tentatively called out, and what answered her was the sharp pain of her wrist being tightly gripped.

It wasn’t a dream after all.”.. it was real.

“Scared? You didn’t call wrong.” Xuan Rui raised an eyebrow, a long thin scar at his temple adding to his ferocity.

Li Youqing caught a faint scent of blood.

His journey here clearly hadn’t been smooth.

It also meant that besides Zhao Ze traveling with him, there were still people sent by Imperial Brother watching from behind.

“You’d better release me now, or when others arrive, Commander Xuan might find it difficult to escape unscathed.” Li Youqing was pinned firmly against the bed board, her eyes filled with defiance as she spoke in the most commanding tone she could muster.

“I’m here to collect a debt this time. Surely the princess hasn’t forgotten that you still owe me.” He gripped Li Youqing’s noticeably thinner face with his right hand, applying just enough pressure until tears began pooling in those clear eyes. His fingers slid downward as he continued in a measured tone: “Have you forgotten again? Your husband taught you – speak your mind directly. No crying allowed!”