Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Memories Are All Pain The day Su Qingyun was discharged from the hospital, the snow had just cleared and the sky was bright. The trees lining the road were adorned with jade-like branches and leaves, and the sky was a clear, deep blue. Ruan Shaodong personally drove to the hospital to pick up Su Qingyun. The couple remained silent throughout the ride, the atmosphere heavy and oppressive. Little Chutang sat in the back seat, breathing on the window and drawing on it with her finger, her heart brimming with joy. Mommy was finally coming home. Little Chutang drew a picture of their family of three on the car window, her eyes and brows curved with smiles. When Su Qingyun saw the drawing on the window, her heart ached with bitterness, and her eyes reddened in an instant. She turned her head and secretly wiped away her tears, then adjusted her emotions and forced a smile. "In a few days, it will be Tangtang's birthday. What gift does Tangtang want?" Little Chutang was still lying against the window drawing, and she answered her mother's question in a crisp voice, "Mommy, I want a Cinnamoroll." "Cinnamoroll?" Su Qingyun's voice was gentle. "Is Cinnamoroll... a pet dog? Mommy has never heard of that breed of dog." "No, it's not." Little Chutang shook her head. "It's a cartoon puppy. I want a ceramic Cinnamoroll. I heard from Xueluo that there's a handicraft shop on Chang'an Road. We can buy an unpainted ceramic puppy and color it ourselves." Little Chutang turned her head to look at her mother. "Last week, Xueluo and Brother Zhengan went there and painted two very cute ceramic dolls." Su Qingyun lowered her eyes and smiled softly. "Alright then. If Tangtang wants to go, Mommy will go with you." On the day of Chutang's twelfth birthday, heavy snow fell from the sky. Ruan Chutang and her mother walked hand in hand into that handicraft shop. Because they had pre-ordered an unpainted ceramic Cinnamoroll, they didn't have to wait when they arrived. The owner brought out the finished Cinnamoroll, and Chutang and her mother began to paint it. That was the first time they had worked together to complete a handmade item. Chutang was very satisfied with the final result. Her Cinnamoroll looked exactly like the picture, and was even a little cuter. The mother and daughter left the shop and went to a nearby cake store. Su Qingyun held the cake in her left hand and Chutang's hand in her right. They walked for a while through the swirling snow, then she suddenly stopped, turned around, and looked at little Chutang with tender, reluctant affection. "Tangtang, Mommy loves you. She loves you very, very much." Su Qingyun's voice was soft, quickly scattered by the north wind. Little Chutang's nose was red from the cold. Mommy used to say she loved her often, so she didn't notice anything unusual. She replied in her crisp voice, "Mommy, Tangtang loves you very much too." Su Qingyun's nose tingled, and tears threatened to spill again. Her Chutang was still so young, only twelve years old. She wouldn't be able to accompany her anymore. What was she going to do? Afraid that Chutang would see her tears, Su Qingyun turned her head and continued walking forward. Chutang was led by her mother through the bustling pedestrian street of Chang'an Road, all the way to the open-air parking lot outside. Ruan Shaodong's car was parked there. From a distance, little Chutang saw her father standing in the wind and snow, smoking, with a sad and lonely expression on his face. She rarely saw such an expression on him. Just as she was feeling puzzled, Ruan Shaodong looked up and saw the mother and daughter. The sadness on his face vanished in an instant, replaced by his usual demeanor. Chutang thought it must have been her imagination. Ruan Shaodong stubbed out his cigarette and said in a hoarse voice, "You're back." Su Qingyun softly hummed in acknowledgment. That evening, Ruan Shaodong cooked the meal. The family of three sat around the dining table in warm harmony. Little Chutang wore a crown, made a birthday wish, and blew out the candles. The accident happened while they were eating the cake. Su Qingyun had just brought a piece of cake to her lips when she suddenly began coughing up large mouthfuls of blood. Ruan Chutang was terrified. The cake in her hand fell to the floor, staining her new little leather shoes. Ruan Shaodong frantically scooped up Su Qingyun, his voice choked with sobs. "Qingyun, Qingyun, don't scare me. I'm taking you to the hospital right now." The nanny hurriedly called 120. Chutang stood off to the side, her eyes dull and vacant, her mind completely blank. Why was this happening? Everything was fine just a moment ago. Why did Mommy suddenly cough up blood? Didn't the doctor say she could be discharged? Hadn't Mommy already recovered? The ambulance arrived quickly. The medical staff carried Su Qingyun into the vehicle. Before they left, Chutang saw her mother looking at her with tearful eyes, struggling to open her mouth as if she wanted to say something. Mommy was already in too much pain to speak. Her lips moved, and Chutang could read what she was mouthing. She was saying "I'm sorry." In that instant, tears streamed down Chutang's face. She ran out like a madwoman, plunging headfirst into the swirling snow. "Mommy, Mommy, don't go..." The ambulance was racing against time. It couldn't wait for Chutang and immediately started moving, speeding away. Ruan Chutang chased after the ambulance for a stretch of road, only stopping when the white vehicle carrying her mother disappeared from sight. That night, Su Qingyun passed away. Ruan Shaodong stayed by her side all night, weeping uncontrollably. None of this did Ruan Chutang know. She hadn't caught up with the ambulance and had fallen in the snow. It was the nanny, who had followed her out worriedly, who carried her back home. That night, Chutang ran a high fever, calling out "Mommy" in her dreams, crying on and off throughout the entire night. By the time she woke up the next day, she learned that her mother had already passed away. Chutang didn't dare go to the hospital to see her mother one last time—she was afraid of seeing that body devoid of warmth. During that period, she kept deceiving herself, thinking that as long as she hadn't seen her mother's body with her own eyes, her mother was still alive—she had just gone on a long trip, traveled far away. In Chutang's heart, that gentle, smiling woman, radiant as spring sunshine, would live forever. After Su Qingyun left, Ruan Chutang held that ceramic doll day and night, refusing to eat or drink. When she was tired, she slept; when she woke, she silently shed tears. Ruan Shaodong seemed to have aged ten years overnight. The light had faded from his eyes, his hair had turned considerably gray, and he had no spare energy left to care for this daughter. Later, Ruan Shaodong was even diagnosed with depression. Ruan Chutang had once believed that Ruan Shaodong would never remarry in this lifetime—after all, he loved her mother so deeply, how could there possibly be room in his heart for another woman? But two years later, Ruan Shaodong married her mother's former best friend. She made a huge scene at the time and moved into the school dormitory that very day. Even when she came home during winter and summer breaks, she would shut herself in her room and refuse to speak to them. In the last two years of university, her relationship with Ruan Shaodong had finally begun to improve, but right after graduation, Ruan Shaodong arranged for her to marry into the Jiang family, which only made the already fragile father-daughter relationship even worse. Ruan Shaodong was probably truly furious. In the past, he had always given Chutang whatever she asked for, but on the matter of the marriage alliance, he absolutely refused to budge—he even cut off Chutang's cards to force her to come home. For Ruan Chutang, the marriage alliance was just a trigger—the last straw that broke the camel's back. The root cause of her running away from home was Ruan Shaodong's remarriage. He had betrayed her mother. Chutang also felt that Ruan Shaodong arranging for her to marry right after graduation was a way to drive her out of the house. As the saying goes, "a married daughter is like water poured out"—the Ruan family no longer had room for her. So she stormed off in anger, and that departure lasted three years. She had kept this ceramic doll by her side all along. It was her emotional anchor, the last gift her mother had left her, her most precious possession. But now, it was shattered. Chutang's heart shattered along with it. ... After Chutang had cried her fill, she began to think of ways to salvage it. If she could find a top-tier restoration expert, there might still be hope. She took a photo of the fragments and posted it on her social media. [Looking for a top-tier restoration expert.] Chutang had extensive connections in Jiangcheng—several relatives were prominent figures, and her close friends were from wealthy families. Finding a restoration expert shouldn't be difficult. Within just a few minutes of posting, Jiang Shixu called. Ruan Chutang thought he was going to recommend a restoration expert, so she picked up immediately. Jiang Shixu's voice carried urgent concern. "Tangtang, are you hurt?" Ruan Chutang was stunned for a moment, then quickly realized—she hadn't yet cleaned the bloodstains from the ceramic fragments. "No, it's not my blood." Jiang Shixu asked again, "What happened? How did the ceramic doll Aunt Su gave you get broken?" Ruan Chutang fell silent. She didn't know where to begin. What surprised her even more was that Jiang Shixu could tell from just the fragments that it was the ceramic doll her mother had given her. A moment later, the man's voice carried an unyielding decisiveness. "I'm heading to the airport now. Wait for me—I'll come to Haicheng to see you."