Chapter 139

Chapter 139: Love and Affection Cui Lingrong's dismissal was unmistakable. Song Shulan's expression froze, but with Yu-jie present, he couldn't very well lose his temper. Song Shulan left in a huff. Song Yu turned around and, only after confirming her father was gone, dared to ask in a low voice, "Mother, why do you keep driving Father away time and again?" What Cui Lingrong thought was that letting herself be intimate with Song Shulan would make her sick to death. But such words, she could not say directly to her daughter. "Yu-jie, do you think I need to rely on your father's favor to establish myself in this marquis household?" Cui Lingrong asked. Song Yu shook her head. "Mother is the head of the household. Even Grandmother has to yield to you." "Since I don't need to depend on a man's affection, and I don't expect your father's love, why should I make myself miserable by keeping him here?" Cui Lingrong was clear-headed. "In the past, your father and I did treat each other with mutual respect, and I believed he shared my heart. But as it turns out, that was merely my own illusion." In truth, Song Shulan's eyes were only on official rank and personal gain. Seeing that her daughter still had doubts, Cui Lingrong continued, "When my aunt was still alive, she often said that a woman may enjoy a man's affection, but she must never build her life around love and romance. If all you see is like or dislike, then the troubles in your days will multiply." "I too grieved over your father. The heart is made of flesh—how could so many years of feeling not bring sorrow?" Cui Lingrong smiled slightly. "But when I think of reality, would my tears make your father divorce County Princess Rongjia and keep only me for the rest of his days?" Song Yu shook her head, saying that wouldn't happen. "Since crying is useless, and I cannot abandon the three of you and leave, rather than wallowing in self-pity with tear-streaked cheeks, I might as well make my own life as comfortable as possible. Your father wants to rise through the Rong Prince Mansion, so he dotes on County Princess Rongjia. Since that's how he is, I'll let him have his way. He can cling to the Rong Prince Mansion, and I'll live my own life well." Cui Lingrong looked at her daughter. "I have money and authority over the inner quarters. If I were to covet your father's affection on top of that, I'd be too greedy." And greedy people, by nature, are destined to be devoured by their desires. A person knows her own capabilities. She could not possibly excel at everything. In the past, everyone in Bianjing said she was the most proper and meticulous—a person so thorough that none could be more so. But only after letting loose did she realize how stifled her former life had been. Cui Lingrong tucked a stray strand of hair behind her daughter's ear. "Yu-jie, you must remember: everyone has moments of disappointment, and in those moments, the only one who can save you is yourself. If you don't strive to better yourself, even if someone places a knife in your hand, it's nothing but scrap iron." "Mother, you are so different from other people," Song Yu said with genuine admiration. "Different how? If it were your Aunt Yuan, she'd be tearing the roof off the house, fighting your father and grandmother eight hundred rounds—now that would be different!" Cui Lingrong gazed at her daughter with affection. "Alright, think over what I've said. Perhaps you don't understand now, but one day in the future, it will all become clear." The hour was growing late, and Cui Lingrong urged Yu-jie to hurry back. The night was deep and the dew heavy. While Song Yu returned to her quarters, Song Shulan went to Wutong Yuan. The moment the two met, they both wanted to speak of Cui Zeyu. It was County Princess Rongjia who tentatively raised the subject: "Does Master Song know that Cui Zeyu returned today?" "I know. I even saw him. That brat is lucky to be alive—I thought he'd died out there!" Song Shulan snorted. County Princess Rongjia said she had thought the same. "I'm not trying to stir up trouble, but that Cui Zeyu isn't even Sister Cui's real brother. As long as he's in Bianjing, he'll be dropping by Qiushuang Zhai every few days. Even a real brother wouldn't have such close dealings." Song Shulan's face darkened. Compared to Cui Zeyu, he was more wary of Xie Yunting. "But Cui Zeyu is just a merchant—he won't amount to much. This incident of his had nothing to do with me. I heard he ruined quite a lot of cloth and will be losing a good sum of money again. Sister Cui will probably be sending him more money, won't she? In Sister Cui's eyes, the people of this household aren't as important as a Cui Zeyu who shares no blood with her!" At the mention of money, County Princess Rongjia gnashed her teeth in resentment. She herself had cut back on expenses and still had to keep Old Madame happy, yet Old Madame didn't even side with her. And she couldn't very well cut off Shouan Tang's allowance. After much deliberation, County Princess Rongjia blamed it all on Cui Lingrong. Song Shulan shared the same sentiment. "I'll speak to her about this. Yu-jie and the others are grown now—she needs to set aside some money for Yu-jie and her siblings." County Princess Rongjia agreed. "I think a person's luck is limited. Cui Zeyu is just a bastard whelp. With one business failure after another, he won't have much of a future." Song Shulan thought so too. It was only Cui Lingrong who treated Cui Zeyu like a treasure. At that thought, Song Shulan felt a tightness in his chest. It had been so long since he'd visited Qiushuang Zhai, and now Cui Lingrong was driving him away. Could it be that Cui Lingrong had truly been bewitched by that Xie Yunting fellow? When it came to looks, Xie Yunting was indeed somewhat handsome—especially with that roguish demeanor of his. Privately, he must be terribly persistent and clingy. While Song Shulan was sulking, County Princess Rongjia suddenly leaned in close. But Song Shulan was still preoccupied with County Princess Rongjia's outside affairs. He hadn't been able to vent about Cui Zeyu's matter to Lanxin and the others, and now that he'd finished speaking, he rose to leave. "Get some rest. I still have matters to attend to. I'll come see you another day." County Princess Rongjia hastily threw her arms around Song Shulan. "Master Song, it's been so long since you last came. Even if you're busy, one night won't make a difference. Won't you stay tonight?" Song Shulan couldn't bring himself to sleep with County Princess Rongjia while that knot in his heart remained untied. He pried her hands away and walked off into the night, failing to notice the disappointment and confusion in her eyes. "Why? Why is this happening?" County Princess Rongjia asked. "Could it be that the Marquis truly tires of the old and craves the new—that with Lanxin and the others around, he's completely lost interest in me?" Chen De's Wife tried to console her. "This old servant has heard that the Marquis has indeed been very busy lately. Didn't the Prince also say he has many matters to entrust to the Marquis? Once the Marquis accumulates some merits, he can be promoted further." "Then what difference does one night make? Something feels off." Woman's intuition told County Princess Rongjia that Song Shulan was hiding something. Jealousy clouded her judgment. The next morning, when she learned that Song Shulan had slept in the study, she felt slightly better—but she still summoned Lanxin and Concubine Zhang to attend to her, and at the slightest dissatisfaction, she punished them by making them kneel in the courtyard. By the time Concubine Zhang left, her knees were swollen. She could tell County Princess Rongjia was displeased, but her own standing was too low. If County Princess Rongjia ordered her to kneel, she had no choice but to obey. Her heart was full of grievance. After thinking it over, Concubine Zhang turned and headed to Qiushuang Zhai. Having learned that Cui Zeyu had returned safely, Concubine Zhang came to offer her congratulations. "These past few days, this concubine was truly worried, but since the Eldest Young Madam was busy, I didn't dare come to disturb you." As she spoke, Concubine Zhang rubbed her knees from time to time. Cui Lingrong asked what had happened. Concubine Zhang lowered her head without speaking, and the maid beside her answered on her behalf. "Next time the County Mistress summons you, come to Qiushuang Zhai instead," Cui Lingrong said. Then she asked, "Does she treat Lanxin the same way?" Concubine Zhang nodded. "Yes. The County Mistress harbors hostility toward all of us who serve the Marquis." "Heh, it seems she truly does love the Marquis." Cui Lingrong had someone give Concubine Zhang some ointment for promoting blood circulation and reducing bruising. After Concubine Zhang left, Cui Lingrong learned that Madam Qin had arrived and was specifically asking to see her. Caiyue relayed the message: "She's already at Shouan Tang, saying she'll wait for you to come."