Chapter 88

Chapter 88: Farewell From Song Shulan's mouth, Cui Lingrong had heard three forms of address. Lady Cui. Lingrong. Cui Lingrong. In front of outsiders, Song Shulan called her Lady Cui. Ordinary—neither intimate nor distant. In private, during moments of deep affection, Song Shulan would call her Lingrong. Now, this was when Song Shulan was angry. She actually wanted very much to ask, why should she care? Cui Lingrong's expression was calm, her delicate features betraying not the slightest ripple of emotion. "And you, Marquis? Aside from your own career, have you ever cared about me?" "If I didn't care about you, would I let you manage the household?" Song Shulan frowned. "It's because I trust you that I put you in charge." "That's not it. It's because Princess Rongjia has no ability to manage a household that you and Old Madame had me take over." Cui Lingrong pointed out the problem more precisely. "After all, in the beginning, both you and Old Madame said to let Princess Rongjia continue managing the household. Marquis, since you can't manage to care about my feelings, I naturally lower my expectations of you." Saying this, Cui Lingrong's red lips curved in a self-deprecating smile. "We've been husband and wife for over a decade. Since we can't grow old in love, then let's just muddle through like this. I'll do my part well, and you, Marquis, need not concern yourself with whether I care about you or not." She had been heartbroken. She had shed tears for Song Shulan. But what use was it? Song Shulan was single-mindedly pursuing high office and wealth—fine, then she would let go and let Song Shulan chase his ambitions. As for herself, if she didn't expect Song Shulan's love, she wouldn't be sad. Cui Lingrong now only wanted what was best for herself and her children. As long as others didn't obstruct her, she would respond to them ordinarily. Song Shulan was rendered speechless. He hadn't expected Cui Lingrong to say such things. All along, Cui Lingrong had been proper and rule-abiding, governing her conduct by the Three Obediences and Four Virtues. Now Cui Lingrong was saying she didn't care about him. Song Shulan couldn't accept this outcome for the time being. The two faced each other in silence. Cui Lingrong had Nanny Qiu see the guest out, with no intention of trying to keep him. Song Shulan thought it over and decided Cui Lingrong must be speaking in anger. If she truly didn't care about him, she would have handed over authority and withdrawn from worldly affairs—how could she still manage the household and deal with the crowd at the Jiangyuan Marquis Mansion? "Fine, don't regret this!" Song Shulan threw down those words. "If the Marquis returns my money, proving that you value me in your heart, perhaps I might change my mind." Cui Lingrong said lightly, as if she hadn't seen the anger in Song Shulan's eyes. She mentioned the money again, thoroughly enraging Song Shulan. Nanny Qiu sighed. "Why must you quarrel with the Marquis?" "And would it be any use if I softened toward him?" Cui Lingrong was exhausted from dealing with Song Shulan. "I could put on a gentle and considerate act, but it's useless, Nanny Qiu. In the end, the Marquis still favors Princess Rongjia, and I'd just end up swallowing a bellyful of anger. Better to be firm now. As long as I don't expect the Marquis's favor, my heart won't ache." A man's affection had never been the most important thing. Before she had married, her aunt had told her that a man's affection could be had, but it must never be taken too seriously. Once a woman began to fret over losing it, she would easily wither away for it, or even waste away to nothing. Her aunt said that a man might have many women in his lifetime. If one kept fighting over jealousy, one would live in exhaustion and might even be schemed against. What mattered most was whether one's position was secure, whether one had money in hand to fall back on, and whether one's children were filial. So from the time she returned home from mourning and learned that Princess Rongjia had entered the household, Cui Lingrong had never had a hysterical quarrel with Song Shulan—not until Princess Rongjia harmed Yu-jie and schemed against Xuan-ge and his brother did she show any significant emotional upheaval. Now Song Shulan asked whether she cared. To say she didn't care at all would be impossible—after all, they were first-married husband and wife. But Song Shulan truly wasn't that important anymore. He was the father of her children; if Song Shulan had a good career, the children would rise with him. That was Song Shulan's greatest function. As for Cui Lingrong herself, she didn't need a deeply loving husband. Without a man, one wouldn't die. "You're just too strong-willed," Nanny Qiu sighed, unsure whether to be glad or not for her mistress. Fearing her mistress might be unhappy, she changed the subject. "When Young Lady Yuan leaves, will you go see her off?" Yuan Yuzhu had been at a standoff with her mother-in-law for several months. A few days ago, Yuan Yuzhu's younger brother came personally to Bianjing to fetch her, and the Duchess of Dingguo had no choice but to let her go. The Yuan family had sent an invitation, asking if Cui Lingrong would like to come over and gather. "Yes, I'll go. Once we part this time, who knows when we'll meet again." Cui Lingrong said. "Ah, my cousin also wrote, saying his wife's health is failing." This cousin of hers had a temperament much like her own—a proper, rule-abiding man. They had grown up together. Originally, her aunt had wanted to strengthen the bond between the families through marriage, but the cousin's grandmother had objected, so she had voluntarily said she would only regard her cousin as a brother. "The cousin's wife is a wonderful person, just in poor health. I hope that when spring comes and the weather warms, she'll recover." The last time Nanny Qiu went to Suzhou, the cousin's wife had already been unwell; otherwise, the eldest young mistress wouldn't have returned to attend to her for so long. "I hope so too." Cui Lingrong wanted to return to Suzhou, but it would be difficult for her to go back now. The mistress and maid chatted for a while, while Song Shulan went to stay in the front courtyard on his own. That night, everyone except those in Qiushuang Zhai slept poorly. The next day, Cui Lingrong brought her daughter to the Yuan family residence. As soon as she entered, she was led to Yuan Mingzhu's side. "It was I who had the old maid wait for you." Yuan Mingzhu was over four months pregnant and had grown plumper. "Since my elder sister hasn't arrived yet, let me tell you something amusing. You know the Qin family, don't you? They're going to regret this terribly!" Cui Lingrong asked, "You wouldn't happen to be talking about the Qin family's bride-swapping matter, would you?" "You know about it?" Cui Lingrong nodded. "Then why didn't you tell me?" Yuan Mingzhu grew annoyed. "The moment I found out, I wanted to tell you right away." "Don't be so impatient. I couldn't very well have someone pass along news like that—I had to tell you in person, didn't I?" Cui Lingrong smiled helplessly. "You're a grown woman now, why are you still as eager as you were as a child?" Yuan Mingzhu exclaimed, "You have no idea—ever since I got pregnant, my husband and mother-in-law have been watching me like hawks. They won't let me go shopping, won't let me leave the house. If not for coming back to my natal home today, they wouldn't have let me out at all. When I hear something new, I just want to share it." "Alright, alright, I understand you." Cui Lingrong said with a smile. "I'm curious about that Qin family matter too—how did it end up being resolved? From what General Xie and Zeyu said, the Qin family looked down on General Xie, yet still wanted the marriage. But now that it's caused such a stir, whether the third young lady or the fourth young lady marries him, neither will be happy." She still hoped General Xie would have a happy marriage. Though he seemed rough around the edges, he had a good heart. "Who says otherwise." Yuan Mingzhu sighed as she spoke. "We women, we simply can't control our own fates." With that, she looked at Cui Lingrong, wanting to ask how things were between her and Song Shulan lately, but Cui Lingrong only said things were fine. When she wanted to talk more, her elder sister arrived, and with more people around, it was no longer convenient to speak of private matters. Today Cui Lingrong was a guest. She sat with Yuan Yuzhu for a while, asked Yuan Yuzhu to check on her cousin's household, and then prepared to leave. "Cui-meimei." Yuan Yuzhu took Cui Lingrong's hand. "Don't place too many restraints on yourself. Even your children will have their own paths to walk. When you truly can't bear it anymore, learn from me—look at how I've thrown caution to the wind. From now on, there will only be a smooth road ahead." Cui Lingrong was momentarily stunned, then smiled and nodded. "Alright, Yuan-jiejie, I'll remember that." Leaving the Yuan residence, Cui Lingrong thought she'd stop by the fabric shop. When she arrived, however, she saw several government officers blocking the entrance. She quickly stepped down from her carriage to ask what was going on.