Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Tell Her He Loves Her Seeing Xue Shaoyin fall into the water, Wei Jinshu naturally felt immensely pleased. She felt as though the pent-up resentment she had held in her heart for so many years had finally been released. A moment later, however, her expression immediately turned tense. She was just about to pretend to call for help when, before she could make a sound, she heard two anxious, frantic cries in succession. “Shaoyin!” “Shaoyin!” They were two male voices with entirely different tones, but both… sounded oddly familiar. Wei Jinshu stared in astonishment toward the direction of the cries and saw Prince Chu… and His Majesty! Xiao Yu was usually extremely filial toward his mother, but today, while accompanying Mother Consort in Shou'an Palace, he had been somewhat absent-minded. His thoughts kept returning to Xue Shaoyin. On the way to the palace with Xue Shaoyin, he had secretly glanced at her countless times, yet it still seemed he had not seen enough. He continued to think of her constantly. How could this brief meeting today make up for the longing he had endured through more than a thousand days and nights? In the end, Xiao Yu could no longer sit still. He took his leave of Mother Consort ahead of time and went to the vicinity of Fangfei Court, hoping to secretly catch another glimpse of Xue Shaoyin. Yet he had barely walked into Fangfei Court when he saw, from afar, Xue Shaoyin falling into the water. Xiao Yu was so terrified that his soul nearly left his body. In that instant, he could no longer see anyone else or hear any other sound. There was only Xue Shaoyin in his eyes. He hurriedly cried out and ran toward her, intending to leap into the water and save her as quickly as possible. But when he reached the water’s edge, he saw someone else leap in ahead of him. Xiao Yu froze for a moment. The man was wearing a dark vermilion dragon robe and appeared to be none other than the reigning emperor—his Imperial Older Brother. There was no time to think about it. After that brief hesitation, Xiao Yu immediately jumped into the water as well and desperately swam toward Xue Shaoyin in the distance. The instant Shaoyin plunged into the water, all she felt was cold. Although it was nearly noon, the winter sunlight could not penetrate the layers of chill. The moment she entered the water, the biting cold seemed like countless tiny blades of ice piercing through her clothes and scraping against every inch of her skin. It blocked her mouth and nose, while an invisible, crushing force dragged her downward, as though it intended for her to sleep forever at the lonely, frozen bottom of the water. Just as it had when she was seven years old—the instant she fell into the water. After accidentally falling in, everything she had once been proud of and relied upon seemed to become utterly useless, all of it drifting beyond her reach. Her desperate struggles only caused her to sink deeper. She felt as though she was about to die. Death had once been a word entirely unfamiliar and distant to her, yet in that instant, its shadow seemed to close around her completely, ready to swallow her whole. At the moment when she was most lonely and most desperate, someone seized her hand. When she opened her eyes, she saw a boy’s face. Although Xiao Heng had rescued her and brought her back to the world of the living, her fear of water had been deeply engraved in her bones ever since. Later, at her family’s urging, she tried to learn how to swim. Yet every time she entered the water and saw the waves rippling, she could not help trembling all over and was unable to learn. It was only after she went to Shuobei, with Helan’s help, that she finally learned to swim. Within the rippling, glittering water before her, the boy’s face no longer appeared. Instead, she saw her husband, Muyan Helan. He reached a hand out to her in the water, encouraging her with a warm, smiling gaze to swim boldly forward. Without a word, he told her that he was right beside her and would always be beside her. She did not need to be afraid—she would never need to be afraid. Shaoyin gently exhaled in the water, opened her arms, and swam toward the opposite bank. If she swam straight to shore from where she had fallen in, Wei Jinshu might try to stop her from climbing out. Rather than get into a tug-of-war with her there, she might as well come ashore from the opposite bank herself. But just as she was swimming upward, she suddenly heard the hurried sound of water drawing closer and closer. Amid the broken, wavering reflections, someone shot toward her like an arrow, swimming rapidly. One arm wrapped around her and pulled her into his embrace, carrying her to the surface at the fastest possible speed. Before Shaoyin could react to what was happening, the person had already “rescued” her onto the bank. The arm holding her tightly still did not loosen. Her feet had not yet touched the ground, and before she could utter a single word, the person swept her up into his arms. She had no idea where he was hurriedly carrying her. “...Your... Your Majesty...” Shaoyin was flustered and bewildered. She only wanted Xiao Heng to put her down at once, but Xiao Heng, soaked through, held her tightly and strode forward without pause, carrying her directly into the nearest building—the Yichun Pavilion Boat, built over the water. Once inside, Xiao Heng placed her on the narrow couch behind a screen. He pulled over a thick cloak and wrapped it tightly around her. He murmured to her, “Don’t be afraid,” yet it seemed that he was the one afraid of something. Droplets of water continuously rolled from Xiao Heng’s drenched hair down his cheeks, and his hands were even trembling slightly, as though he had nearly encountered some terrifying possibility. Shaoyin could not make sense of the situation. She only knew that she ought to stay as far away from Xiao Heng as possible. Although she knew how to swim and would not actually have drowned in the water, Xiao Heng had still gone out of his way to save her. She did not know why Xiao Heng had suddenly come here or why he had intervened to save her, but those were the facts. After thanking him, she ought to take her leave. Shaoyin tried to get down from the couch, thank him, and leave as quickly as possible. But the moment she moved, Xiao Heng pulled her tightly back into his arms. He said nothing, merely burying his head beside her shoulder and holding her tighter and tighter, as though some immense terror after surviving a catastrophe still threatened him, preventing him from recovering from the fear that had seeped into his very bones. “...Ayin...” Shaoyin heard the soft, trembling murmur beside her neck. It seemed to hold unspeakable relief, pain, and restraint. She could not help shivering. She did not know whether it was because her soaked clothes had left her freezing, or because she had suddenly been frightened by some unknown and bewildering force. At last, Xiao Heng seemed to return to his senses. He appeared to have a thousand words he wanted to say to her, but he had no time to explain. He merely tightened the cloak around her, gave her a deep look, then hurried outside and asked whether the hot water, clothes, and other necessities had been brought over. Shaoyin sat dazed on the couch, her thoughts a tangled mess. All she could think was that she had to leave, and that she needed to leave as soon as possible. Shaoyin pulled off the cloak and climbed down from the couch, intending to go outside. But palace maids carrying hot water and holding clothes entered the inner room of the Yichun Pavilion Boat. The palace maids explained that they had come at His Majesty’s command to help her bathe and change. When they saw her preparing to leave with her hair and clothes still soaked, they became terrified. One after another, they knelt across the floor, begging her for mercy and asking her to allow them to fulfill the imperial command. Shaoyin had no choice but to let the palace maids pull off her drenched clothes and help her change. The steam from the fragrant bath gradually filled the folding screens surrounding her. It drifted like clouds and mist through the small room, while Shaoyin’s heart seemed to be shrouded in an endless, hazy fog. She did not understand why Xiao Heng had come to save her, why he had embraced her like that, or why he had called her “Ayin.” Just as on the day they had met at Puan Temple, she could not understand any of Xiao Heng’s words or actions. She could not understand them, yet her instincts told her that something was terribly wrong. Even as she sat in the warm bath, it felt as though a chill was rising from the depths of her heart. Some unknown fear seemed to be silently closing around her. In the outer room of the Yichun Pavilion Boat, Xiao Heng had already bathed quickly and was changing into a clean set of clothes with the palace attendants’ help. Cheng An, who had served at the emperor’s side for many years, personally draped an outer robe over His Majesty’s shoulders. At the same time, he respectfully reported, “Prince Chu is still waiting outside the Yichun Pavilion Boat. He says he must see County Princess Yongning and refuses to leave.” Xiao Heng glanced outside through the window and saw his younger brother, Xiao Yu, still standing there, soaked through. Although the cold winter wind blowing across the water had turned Xiao Yu’s face pale, he remained stiffly standing outside the pavilion boat, unwilling to leave. It was just as he had been over the past several years whenever he came to plead on Shuobei’s behalf. Xiao Yu was gentle by nature, but on those occasions, he would suddenly become extremely stubborn and obstinate. He would insist on kneeling outside the Imperial Study, pleading with Xiao Heng for a long, long time. Even though Xiao Heng refused him every year, Xiao Yu would do the same again the following year. Xiao Heng knew that Xiao Yu had no particular interest in Shuobei. There was simply someone in Shuobei who occupied his heart. His obstinacy today was likewise for Xue Shaoyin. Back when Xiao Yu had been young and always loved to circle around Xue Shaoyin, Xiao Heng had already understood his feelings. The ridiculous thing was that he could see through other people’s hearts with ease, yet could not see through his own. Xiao Heng instructed Cheng An, “Go tell Prince Chu that Xue Shaoyin is unharmed. Have him go to Shou'an Palace immediately to change his clothes, and tell him this is My command.” He then had a palace attendant take a hand warmer outside. Xiao Heng no longer looked toward the window of the Yichun Pavilion Boat. Instead, he waited for Xue Shaoyin in the inner room. Throughout the long years of the past, he had been blinded by hatred and resentment. He had known only how to treat Xue Shaoyin coldly, making her angry and heartbroken again and again. He regretted the past. He had thought that he had learned how to cherish her and that he could slowly wait for Xue Shaoyin to open her heart to him again. Yet today’s events, when he had nearly lost Xue Shaoyin forever, had finally made him realize how ridiculous and arrogant he had been. What, exactly, had he, Xiao Heng, been so stubborn and proud about? For so many years, he had grown accustomed to Xue Shaoyin lowering her head to him time and again. And now, even at this point, was he still waiting for her to lower her head first, waiting for Xue Shaoyin to take the initiative and tell him that she loved him?! He truly was utterly ridiculous. The restraint and longing he had endured for the past five years had apparently still not been enough to wake him completely. It had taken the crushing blow of today to make him truly come to his senses and regret his actions. After finishing an important discussion of state affairs with the ministers in the Imperial Study, Xiao Heng had immediately gone to Fangfei Court upon learning that Xue Shaoyin had entered the palace. Since the day they had met at Puan Temple, Xiao Heng had been held back by court affairs and had been unable to leave the palace to see Xue Shaoyin for two days. He had originally planned to go out and see her tomorrow, but since Xue Shaoyin was already in the palace today, he naturally had to find time to meet her. Yet not long after entering Fangfei Court, Xiao Heng saw Xue Shaoyin fall into the water. In an instant, it was as though countless raging waves had exploded in his heart. Xiao Heng charged desperately toward the water’s edge. He had already run as fast as he possibly could, yet he still felt that he was moving far too slowly, terrified that even the slightest delay might cost Xue Shaoyin her life. Xue Shaoyin could not swim. Xue Shaoyin had once nearly died in the water. The overwhelming terror seemed ready to crush Xiao Heng’s heart to pieces. When he hurriedly leaped into the water, the cold of winter was nothing compared to the shattered, surging fear filling his heart. Fortunately, he had rescued Xue Shaoyin in time. Fortunately, Xue Shaoyin was not seriously harmed. But… what if there had been no such “fortunately” today? What if he had spent longer discussing affairs with the ministers in the Imperial Study? What if he had not known that Xue Shaoyin was entering the palace today? What if he had walked more slowly on the way to Fangfei Court? What if… What if today, he had ended up seeing Xue Shaoyin’s corpse? A cold corpse, utterly devoid of life. He had thought that he could wait slowly, wait for Xue Shaoyin to dare to love him as she had in the past. He had thought that he and Xue Shaoyin still had the rest of their lives, that they could slowly begin again. But the shock of nearly losing Xue Shaoyin forever today made him unwilling to waste even the slightest moment in this unpredictable world. In the past, Xue Shaoyin had always been the one to lower her head to him again and again, the one to walk toward him time and time again. Now, it was his turn—Xiao Heng’s turn—to walk toward Xue Shaoyin. He should lower his head to her, honestly tell her how deeply he had regretted the past five years and how much he had missed her, and tell her that he loved her. That he had always, always loved her.