Chapter 19

Chapter 19: She Truly Does Not Love Him After the Lantern Festival palace banquet, the young woman still refused to go home. She insisted on returning to the Eastern Palace with him and mysteriously ordered the palace servants to bring over the materials she had prepared that morning, saying that she wanted to give him a surprise with her own hands. He only glanced at the fine bamboo strips and silk-cotton paper before realizing what surprise she intended to give him. He said nothing, merely holding a book and watching beneath the window. He was looking at the book, but every so often his gaze would drift over the pages and secretly glance toward the young woman beneath the veranda outside. He watched her busy herself with great enthusiasm. Even on a night in the first month of the year, she was unafraid of the cold. Sweat faintly dampened the hair at her brow, her cheeks were flushed with warmth, and her eyes shone more brightly than the lamplight. He could see that she was not at all unfamiliar with making lanterns. In fact, she was nearly practiced at it. He also saw the faint scars on her fingers. It seemed that while she had been at home, she had seriously studied how to make lanterns, injuring her own hands more than once in the process. He could almost imagine the scene: how she had earnestly learned to make lanterns for him in the courtyard at home, how carefully she had tied the bamboo strips into a lantern frame, how cautiously she had pasted silk-cotton paper over it. She had learned every step seriously and meticulously. Whenever she was doing something related to him, she was always this earnest. Making a lantern for him was like that; embroidering handkerchiefs for him, preparing incense, and personally cooking soup for him were all the same. She was not actually a quiet or demure person. She was lively and active, and often lacked patience when doing things. Yet as long as something involved him, Xiao Heng, she would become extraordinarily calm, as if, at those moments, all her thoughts were devoted to him alone. Watching the serious expression on the young woman’s face outside the window, watching the delight and eagerness overflowing from her eyes, he suddenly felt his heart grow restless. It was as though something fine and intricate were burrowing into his heart. Or perhaps that fine, restless feeling had long been buried deep within him, only now becoming impossible to suppress, as if it were about to break through the earth. Every time Xue Shaoyin made his heart restless, he would instinctively choose to avoid it. Thus, this time, he moved his gaze away as well and personally closed the window, cutting off the world where the young woman sat—and also cutting off the gaze he could not help casting at her in secret. Yet not long after he closed the window, before his restless heart had managed to settle, the window was pushed open from outside. The young woman, who had been earnestly making the lantern, stood before the window looking somewhat angry. She said nothing. She merely stared at him with her clear, bright eyes opened wide, her cheeks puffed up in indignation, as if forbidding him to close the window. In that instant, he could not stop himself from wanting to laugh. Just as the corners of his lips began to curve, he silently pressed them down again and skillfully put on a cold expression. It was as though this had become an instinctive physical memory. Every time he wanted to smile at Xue Shaoyin, he would immediately suppress the feelings he should not have and replace them with an indifferent face. The young woman seemed to have long grown accustomed to his cold expression. She said nothing more. After pushing the window open, she sat down beneath the veranda outside and continued making the prayer sky lantern. She remained just as serious as before. Her slight annoyance over the window did not interfere with her feelings for him. For some reason, he did not close the window again. It was as if he no longer had the strength to do so. He lowered his gaze to the book in his hand, but could not take in a single line or word. His eyes were vacant, while the sounds she made beside him came through with remarkable clarity. No matter how faint the sound, he could hear it clearly. The soft noises she made as she carefully tied together the lantern frame and pasted on the lantern paper, and the crisp chime of the jade-leaf pearl-drop earrings at her ears as the night wind brushed past them. There was also the faint song she hummed beneath her breath: “Lotus in my sleeve, its heart completely red; I yearn for my beloved, but he has not come. I raise my head and gaze at the wild geese in flight…” He held a brush in one hand, yet for a long while he did not set down even a single character. The delicate melody seemed to drift with the night wind into the depths of his heart. The wind dispersed, but the love and faint sorrow in the song continued to linger within him. “The sea’s waters flow through a distant dream; You grieve, and so do I. May the southern wind know my heart And carry my dream to Xizhou.” His heart seemed to turn into a thread of wind as well, floating away with the sound of her soft singing between the boundless sky and emerald waters. His lingering yearning stretched on like the sea, endless and far-reaching. In a daze, the brush in his hand seemed about to slip and stain the paper as his distracted fingers weakened. Then a soft hand suddenly reached through the window and gently pulled the brush away from him. The instant the back of her hand brushed against his, his heart gave a violent leap. Then it began to pound uncontrollably. When he turned toward her in stunned surprise, the young woman had already leaned most of her body through the window, nearly pressing against his face. She giggled at him, looking immensely pleased with herself for successfully snatching away his brush. Because she was so close, her bright, beautiful smile was almost magnified before his eyes. On ordinary days, the thing he did most often around her was look away, as if he did not want to see her and had no desire to look at her. But now she was right in front of him, and he had no choice but to look. He gazed at her slender, curved brows and fine, delicate lashes. He gazed into her dark, luminous eyes, which held both lamplight and moonlight. The laughter rippling within them seemed like stars reflected in water, flickering softly. He looked at her small, straight nose and moist, rosy lips. He watched the corners of her mouth lift slightly as she smiled, revealing a hint of teeth white as snow. With every breath, her warm fragrance seemed to spread beneath his nose and along his lips. That warm fragrance was like peonies unfolding petal by petal, blooming in quiet profusion on a warm spring night. It made his already bewildered heart and mind grow even more confused and muddled. He seemed unable to breathe. Beneath the young woman’s smile, so close that it nearly touched his face, there was nowhere for him to retreat. Behind her stretched a night sky as deep as the sea, beneath the pure, luminous moon of the Lantern Festival. He did not know whether she had been smiling at him for a long time, or whether it had only been that single instant—when she leaned through the window, reached forward, and drew the brush from his hand, looking at him with a smile nearly against his face. Perhaps it was only his own senses that had infinitely enlarged and prolonged that moment, until even his heart could hardly bear it. If only she had not suddenly moved away from him. The young woman took the brush and withdrew beyond the lattice window. The prayer sky lantern had already been completed to the accompaniment of her song. She dipped the brush in ink and wrote on the lantern, one stroke after another, carefully writing his name. She was praying for him with all her heart, praying that he would remain safe and free from misfortune year after year, and that he would enjoy lasting happiness and peace. At the instant the lantern was released into the sky, her face shone with the purity of moonlight. Even after the lantern had flown high and far, nearly vanishing from sight, her gaze continued to follow its distant course. She still held her hands clasped before her, praying for him with all her heart, as if that prayer sky lantern carried everything her heart would devote itself to in this life, unwavering until death. When the prayer sky lantern had vanished into the distance, or perhaps become a distant star merging into the night sky, she turned back to him with a smile as radiant as a blooming flower. “Cousin, every year from now on, I’ll personally make a sky lantern for you and release it into the air to pray for your blessings!” She smiled sweetly. “You have to remember how good I am to you.” …You have to remember how good I am to you… The bitter wind of a deep winter night carried flying snow like blades of ice, cutting into Xiao Heng’s face and heart. Amid the urgent thunder of hoofbeats, one palace gate after another opened with a rumble in the silent, snowy night. Xiao Heng pursued the direction in which the sky lantern had vanished, spurring his horse through layer upon layer of wind and snow until he reached Jiucheng Mountain behind the imperial palace. The horse’s hooves trampled over the snow and dead branches covering the mountain paths. The farther into the mountain he went, the deeper the snow became and the more difficult the roads were to traverse. Even the Blood-Sweating Horse, capable of traveling a thousand li in a day, was gradually blocked by the perilous mountain road in the snowy night, slowing with every step. Yet nothing could stop Xiao Heng. It was as if a fire burned within his heart, or as if he were the last glowing wick before a lamp ran dry, blazing fiercely before it was extinguished. Xiao Heng dismounted and began walking through the biting wind and snow. In the vast snowy night, he chased after the direction of that light like a madman, throwing caution to the wind as he tried to catch up with the sky lantern. He had to see the name written on it with his own eyes. He absolutely had to see it. He had seen it before: the young woman seated beneath the veranda outside the window, writing on the lantern with her own hand, stroke by stroke. He had personally watched her write his name. He had heard her say with her own lips that every year from then on, she would release a prayer sky lantern for him. She had made so many promises to him. She had spoken so many times of forever. She liked him. She would not change. She would not change. The wind and snow of the deep night blew the departing prayer sky lantern onto the branches of a pine tree at a distant cliffside. The pine resin inside the lantern seemed about to be buried beneath the cold snow, and the lantern’s light grew weaker and weaker. Xiao Heng trudged through the snow, walking step by step toward that final glimmer. With every step, the young woman’s laughter, playful complaints, and scolding seemed to echo in his ears along with memories of the past. One “Cousin” after another. One “Xiao Heng” after another. Until, in the silence of the falling snow, she had nothing more to say to him. She merely watched in silence as he crossed out her name, her eyes quietly wet and reddened, like a flower in a corner that had finally withered and died beneath years of shadow. At last, Xiao Heng reached the edge of the cliff, arriving before the sky lantern that was about to go out. He saw the handwriting on the lantern paper—handwriting more familiar to him than any other. Though it had been faintly dampened by the snow, the four small characters were unmistakably clear. Muyan Helan. As the last glimmer went out and the paper lantern was blown by the wind and snow over the cliff, Xiao Heng’s eyes seemed to grow wet from the falling snow as well. In that instant, it was as though ten thousand arrows had pierced his heart. Or perhaps his heart no longer existed at all. It was as if his entire heart had been carved out, torn from its roots in a bloody mass, and had fallen after the sky lantern into the dark depths of the cliff, where not even an outstretched hand could be seen. The fire that had burned wildly within him all these days seemed to be extinguished by the storm of wind and snow at that moment. After burning for so long in wishful thinking and self-deception, he had ultimately burned his own heart into a pile of ash. And winter had not yet ended. The wind and snow had not yet ceased. It was as if they would never cease throughout this entire life. Perhaps because the medicine to dispel the cold had a soporific effect, or perhaps because making the prayer sky lantern had left Shaoyin, already weakened by illness, even more physically exhausted, she did not toss and turn restlessly that night. After getting into bed, she quickly sank into a heavy sleep and dreamed of nothing. When she awoke the next morning, Shaoyin thought she would once again have to face a new day of Xiao Heng’s entanglement. She thought he would again do something or send her something, just as he had sent her a room full of peonies the day before, single-mindedly insisting on making up for the past with her. Although she had yet to see Xiao Heng, merely thinking about it already made Shaoyin feel utterly weary. However, Xiao Heng did not come. The Xiao Heng who had rushed to see her as soon as he finished with court affairs over the past few days was unexpectedly late today. After Shaoyin ate a little breakfast and drank a bowl of medicine, the person she saw was Chief Steward Cheng. After requesting an audience, Chief Steward Cheng bowed and said, “This old servant has come to convey His Majesty’s decree. His Majesty says that if County Princess wishes to leave the palace, she may leave immediately. This old servant will be ordered to escort County Princess home.” The words came so suddenly that Shaoyin was stunned for a moment before realizing that she seemed to have regained her freedom. When she had awakened from her stupor the day before and seen how strangely calm Xiao Heng’s words and actions were, she had guessed that he might soon return to normal. But she had not expected it to happen so quickly, after only one night. Shaoyin did not delve into the reason Xiao Heng had suddenly returned to normal. There was no use in doing so. Just as she could not understand why Xiao Heng had suddenly fallen so deeply and obsessively in love with her, she probably would not be able to understand the reason for his sudden recovery either. Let it be like a storm, then—arriving suddenly and departing just as suddenly. Let it depart forever. Shaoyin could finally breathe a sigh of relief. She hurriedly rose to thank His Majesty, then said politely to Chief Steward Cheng, “There’s no need to trouble Chief Steward Cheng. I can return home on my own.” But Chief Steward Cheng was insistent, saying that this was His Majesty’s command and that he had to carry it out. Shaoyin did not want to cause another disturbance. After refusing several times but still being unable to dissuade him, she could only say, “Then I’ll trouble you, Chief Steward Cheng.” Chief Steward Cheng said, “You are too kind.” Before escorting her away from Plum Grove, he first ordered the palace servants to gather all the gifts the Son of Heaven had bestowed upon her in recent days. Everything was packed into chests and boxes so that the imperial gifts could be sent back to the Xue family along with her. Shaoyin naturally had no desire to accept any of those imperial gifts. But after her polite refusal failed, she could only silently accept them. At that moment, all Shaoyin wanted was to leave the palace and return home as quickly as possible. She did not want any further trouble to arise and delay her journey, nor did she want to give circumstances time to change. Thus, she could only respectfully obey every arrangement made by the reigning emperor. After silently waiting for the palace servants to finish gathering and packing all the gifts, Shaoyin was finally able to set out for home. Under Chief Steward Cheng’s escort, she first rode in a heated sedan chair to Xihua Gate within the palace. She then alighted outside Xihua Gate and, supported by a palace maid, entered the carriage that would take her home. As the carriage carried her farther and farther from the imperial palace, Shaoyin finally seemed to be leaving a chaotic dream behind and waking from it at last. The master of that chaotic dream had been the reigning emperor, Xiao Heng. It was Xiao Heng who had suddenly fallen into a frenzied dream; he had not meant to drag her, Xue Shaoyin, into it as well. Fortunately, the Son of Heaven had awakened from his dream, and she had consequently been freed. She only hoped that nothing like this would happen again, and that Xiao Heng could remain normal forever. Outside the palace carriage, its brocade curtains and exquisite workmanship displaying its magnificence, the imperial chief steward Cheng An personally led a group of guards and palace servants in escorting County Princess Yongning home. The guards cleared the way ahead. Behind County Princess Yongning’s carriage came chest after chest of imperial gifts being carried along. The grand procession attracted more and more onlookers by the roadside, and the people of the capital discussed it animatedly, marveling and clicking their tongues in astonishment. County Princess Yongning did not understand why His Majesty had insisted that she bring the gifts home, or why he had insisted on having the imperial chief steward personally escort her. Chief Steward Cheng, however, understood perfectly. He knew that His Majesty had given these orders deliberately for the world to see. He wanted the people to know that County Princess Yongning must not be looked down upon, and that anyone harboring ill will toward her had better stay far away and never entertain the slightest improper thought. Just as before, when County Princess Yongning had accidentally fallen into the water, His Majesty had punished every consort who had attended the flower-viewing banquet that day. His Majesty was using one action after another to tell the world that he favored County Princess Yongning, that he cherished her. Not only must no one deliberately harm County Princess Yongning, no one was even permitted to say an unpleasant word to her or give her an unkind look. Anyone who dared would meet the same fate as Consort Yi and the others. Even someone as noble as Consort Yi had been forced to remain behind closed doors and reflect on her mistakes merely for treating County Princess Yongning with hostility. After seeing that, how could the rest of those petty people dare to bully County Princess Yongning in the slightest ever again? What His Majesty was doing now seemed… to be repaying the debts of the past. Thinking this, Chief Steward Cheng secretly sighed in his heart. In the past, who in the capital did not know that Crown Prince Xiao Heng disliked Miss Xue? If His Majesty did not do something now, everyone would assume that his attitude had not changed—that he still disliked, or even detested, County Princess Yongning. If that misunderstanding continued, County Princess Yongning might often be bullied. Even people who had no former grudge against her might foolishly try to curry favor with His Majesty by mistreating her from time to time. Therefore, His Majesty had to make a grand and public display to tell the world of his favor and affection, regardless of whether County Princess Yongning herself was willing to accept it. But why had he not done so earlier? When Miss Xue had still been wholeheartedly devoted to the Crown Prince, why had he treated County Princess Yongning that way in the first place? If His Majesty had used even a tenth—or merely a hundredth—of what he felt now back then, how could County Princess Yongning be so determined to refuse everything now, insisting on returning home? His Majesty… why had he gone alone into the snow last night and galloped after the lantern? When he recalled the previous night, Chief Steward Cheng still felt a lingering fear that sent cold sweat down his body. At the time, His Majesty had crazily ridden out of the palace alone, and no one had been able to catch up with him. When they finally found out where His Majesty had gone, Chief Steward Cheng and the commander of the Imperial Army hurried to Jiucheng Mountain behind the palace. As everyone searched their way up the mountain through the wind and snow in the dead of night, sinking one foot deep and then another, their hearts nearly leaped out of their chests from fright. If anything had happened to His Majesty… Merely thinking about it made Chief Steward Cheng break into a sweat from terror despite the freezing winter night. It was nearly dawn when they finally found His Majesty on Jiucheng Mountain. Yet the instant they saw him, Chief Steward Cheng and the others did not feel relieved. Instead, their hearts rose straight into their throats. Not to mention calling out to His Majesty, they hardly dared even breathe too loudly. His Majesty was standing at the edge of a precipice. In the chaotic wind and snow and dim darkness, they did not know whether he could even see that he was only a hair’s breadth away from the abyss below. Amid the bleak, howling wind, His Majesty seemed like a stone or wooden statue. White snow covered his hair and shoulders. He neither spoke nor moved, and no one knew where his gaze rested. The northern wind wailed, and snowflakes drifted down soundlessly. No one dared make a sound, afraid that startling His Majesty might lead to an accident. At last, after a long wait that tormented everyone’s hearts, Chief Steward Cheng, the chief steward serving before the emperor, took one step forward and spoke softly. Trembling in the wind and snow, his lips quivering, Chief Steward Cheng said four words: “…County Princess Yongning…” His Majesty’s figure shifted slightly, and he turned to look over. In that instant, Chief Steward Cheng seemed to go mad as well. He actually dared to deceive the emperor. “…County Princess Yongning… seems… to want to see Your Majesty…” Through the falling snow and dim yellow firelight, Chief Steward Cheng saw His Majesty… seem to smile faintly. The smile was thin, vanishing into the wind with the falling snow and disappearing into the boundless darkness beyond the lantern light. Chief Steward Cheng seemed to have succeeded. He had managed to bring His Majesty back to his senses and persuade him to leave the edge of the cliff and slowly begin down the mountain. But on the journey down and back to the palace, Chief Steward Cheng continued to break into a cold sweat. This time, however, it was not for His Majesty, but for himself—for deceiving the emperor. Yet after His Majesty returned to Zichen Palace, he did not go directly to Plum Grove to see County Princess Yongning. It seemed that Chief Steward Cheng’s lie had not been exposed. His Majesty returned to the Western Warm Pavilion and gave him several orders regarding County Princess Yongning, one of which was to escort her out of the palace and home. Before that, His Majesty had been so wildly persistent that he seemed capable of “inviting” County Princess Yongning to remain in Zichen Palace for the rest of her life. Yet all of a sudden, he had chosen to let go—and appeared to have done so with complete and effortless decisiveness. Compared with his previous madness and persistence, however, Chief Steward Cheng seemed even more worried by His Majesty’s sudden calm and detachment. After spending the entire journey anxiously thinking about it, the procession finally arrived at the Xue residence. After dismounting, Chief Steward Cheng came to County Princess Yongning’s carriage and bent forward to respectfully see her home. He exchanged a few polite words with the Xue family, then politely declined the warm invitation from County Princess Yongning’s Older Brother and did not stay for tea or rest. After saying, “I still need to return and report,” he set off on the journey back to the palace. Xue Ming personally escorted Chief Steward Cheng out through the main gate of the Xue residence. Then he hurried back to the family’s reception hall, looking his sister up and down to see whether she was unharmed. He anxiously asked why she had been kept in the palace, and what had happened during those days. “I’m fine. I merely received His Majesty’s favor and stayed in the palace for a few days.” Shaoyin did not want her family to worry, so she kept her explanation extremely simple. She smiled faintly at her Older Brother and Sister-in-law. “Truly, I’m perfectly fine, and I’ve already returned. You don’t need to worry about me.” Xue Ming naturally did not believe that nothing had happened. But seeing that his sister did not want to tell him the whole truth, he could not force her. The reason she did not reveal everything was naturally out of consideration for her family. Ultimately, it was because he, as her older brother, was too useless to protect his own sister. As Xue Ming was filled with guilt and self-reproach, he suddenly heard his sister cough softly. He quickly turned to her and saw her give him a somewhat sheepish smile. “Actually, there is a small matter. I caught a chill, and I haven’t fully recovered yet.” Xue Ming immediately sent his sister back to her room to rest and ordered the servants to boil medicine to dispel the cold. Yan Huiniang busied herself ordering someone to light a charcoal brazier in her sister-in-law’s room. She personally placed a newly heated hand warmer into a warm velvet cover and tucked it into Shaoyin’s hands. Shaoyin watched her Older Brother and Sister-in-law bustle about for her. The warmth in her heart was like the hand warmer cupped in her palms, its heat spreading cozily through her chest. She smiled and told them not to keep tiring themselves out on her account. She asked them to sit down and have a cup of hot tea with her while they talked. Then she asked whether anything had happened at home during the days she had been away, and whether the Wei family had caused them any trouble. “Nothing happened at home. I didn’t encounter any difficulties at the offices either. Everything is fine.” As Xue Ming spoke, worry once again rose in his heart. Although everyone outside said that his sister had accidentally fallen into the water that day, since she had brought up the Wei family, the truth of the matter was likely not so simple. He asked her with concern, “When you went to the palace banquet that day, did you really fall into the water by accident? Was it… someone scheming against you?” After asking, he saw her fingers gently stroke the velvet cover of the hand warmer. She was silent for a moment before smiling at him. “It can’t really be called harming me. Let’s just say that I fell into the water myself. I did something wrong once in the past, too, so perhaps this was merely delayed retribution.” Xue Ming’s heart tightened. He was barely able to contain the pain and anger surging through him, but his sister took one of his hands and did her utmost to soothe him. “Let’s consider our old grievances settled once and for all. I don’t care about it. Besides, nothing happened to me—I only caught a slight chill. Don’t let your thoughts run wild, Older Brother, and whatever you do, don’t form a grudge with anyone over this.” Xue Ming could not make his sister worry about him. He could only force down his anger in front of her and say no more about it. After restraining himself, he asked something else. “I heard from His Highness Prince Chu that His Majesty personally went into the water to save you. Is that really true?” “His Majesty did go into the water to save me, but… I can actually swim myself.” Shaoyin smiled at her Older Brother and Sister-in-law. “I learned how to swim in Shuobei. Helan taught me.” When his sister had fallen into the water in the palace as a child, their father had sent several women who knew how to swim to teach her, determined that she learn. However, because she had nearly drowned, his sister was extremely afraid of deep water. Whenever she entered a deep pool, her entire body would tremble, and she was unable to learn. In the end, their father had been too heartbroken to continue forcing her and could only give up helplessly. Now that Xue Ming heard his sister say that she could swim, he was both surprised and delighted. At least this meant that even if someone tried to make his sister drown, they would not succeed. But seeing the smile on his sister’s face as she mentioned her late husband, Xue Ming could not help feeling heartache and sorrow for her. While Xue Ming sat in silence, moved by grief, he heard his sister ask, “Older Brother, when did you meet His Highness Prince Chu?” Xue Ming told her how he had previously requested an audience with His Highness Prince Chu to ask about the situation in the palace. Then he said, “At first, I thought His Highness Prince Chu was the one who went into the water to save you.” Shaoyin said, “His Highness Prince Chu did jump into the water that day.” After Xiao Heng had carried her out of the water, she had seen Xiao Yu following behind, soaked from head to toe. But first Xiao Heng had carried her into Yichun Pavilion Boat, and afterward Xiao Heng had confined her in Zichen Palace. Thus, she had never managed to meet or speak with Xiao Yu, nor had she been able to thank him in person for trying to save her that day. Speaking of which, she still owed Xiao Yu a cup of tea. Being trapped in the palace had caused her to put it off. As Shaoyin was thinking about this, her Sister-in-law, who had been silently listening for a long while, suddenly spoke softly. “Why would His Majesty… personally go into the water to save you…? And those gifts…” Previously, His Majesty had richly rewarded the Xue family once. At the time, both Yan Huiniang and Xue Ming had believed that His Majesty was merely putting on an act. After all, Shaoyin had performed a great service through the marriage alliance, and the common people generally believed that His Majesty had treated the Xue family too coldly. Therefore, His Majesty had sent down some gifts to put on a show and display the benevolence of the Son of Heaven. But putting on a show once was enough. Why do it again? And even if the gifts could be bestowed more than once, why had he personally gone into the water to save someone? In the depths of winter, the water was freezing cold. Even if he wanted to bestow a favor, he could simply have ordered the palace servants to rescue her. Why would he, with the dignity of the Son of Heaven… Yan Huiniang was a woman, and her thoughts were more delicate. She could not help thinking in that direction, no matter how inconceivable that idea might be. “…His Majesty toward you…” Shaoyin said softly, “My heart holds only Helan.” Yan Huiniang exchanged a glance with Xue Ming. Seeing that Shaoyin clearly did not wish to speak further, they did not continue asking. It seemed that the strange events of these days had indeed been caused by His Majesty inexplicably taking an interest in Shaoyin. But since Shaoyin had returned safe and sound, perhaps His Majesty’s sudden interest had suddenly disappeared as well. Although they still felt some hidden worry, Shaoyin was ill and needed to rest peacefully. Thus, after Xue Ming and Yan Huiniang gave her a few more reminders to take good care of herself, they stopped disturbing her rest. They instructed the maid to guard her room carefully before leaving Yurong Court together. After her Older Brother and Sister-in-law left, Shaoyin ordered her maid Qianyun to bring the Buddhist scriptures from her study. The last time she had left home for the palace, she had been in too much of a hurry to finish copying even a single scripture. Now, Shaoyin continued copying the Buddhist scripture she had left unfinished, writing slowly and devoutly, stroke by stroke, as she had written Helan’s name on the lantern in the palace the previous night. She did not know where that lantern had ultimately drifted in the wind and snow. But no matter where it had gone, at the moment it rose into the sky, Helan and the child should both have been able to feel her heart, should they not? Last night, beside Helan’s name, she had drawn a tiny star. The child she and Helan had shared had never been given a name. After her tragic miscarriage, when she and Helan had released a river lantern for the child beside the Qinglan River in Shuobei, she had wanted to give the child a name. But Helan had persuaded her not to. She knew why Helan had stopped her. Once a child had a name, it was like driving a nail into one’s heart. The pain and longing would only grow, making it impossible to let go. Helan had hoped she would grieve less. He had hoped she would learn to let go. At that time, Helan had already been diagnosed with an incurable illness. But could she truly let go? Could she really do as Helan wished? During his final days, Helan had said many things to her. He had told her that her life would still be long, and that the five years they had shared were only a brief journey within her life. After he was gone, she should look ahead and continue walking forward. The human world was vast and enduring, and there were still many beautiful sights and people waiting for her ahead. Naturally, she had shed tears and shaken her head. She had said that how could she possibly let go just like that? That for the rest of her life, until death, her heart would hold only him. That the luckiest thing that had ever happened to her was meeting him, and that she would never have such good fortune again in this lifetime. Yet Helan had smiled and asked her whether, when she had been foolishly and devotedly in love with the Crown Prince of Daqi, she had ever imagined that she would one day fall in love with a man from Shuobei named Muyan Helan. When she had been traveling to Lizhou to marry him with her heart reduced to ashes, had she ever imagined that she was actually walking toward a loving marriage? Helan had said that life was long, and that there would be much more good fortune and love waiting for her in the future. Helan had told her, “When you were grieving for Xiao Heng in Daqi, somewhere beyond the reach of fate, there was someone in Shuobei waiting to meet you and fall in love with you. After I’m gone, there will certainly be someone waiting to love you, just as I did.” Helan had kissed the center of her brow and said, “That year in Lizhou, when the Crown Prince of Daqi deliberately mocked all the ways you had loved him at the wedding, I listened to his words and felt that your sincerity was passionate—adorable, lamentable, and worthy of respect.” “Ayin, don’t lose heart. Live with your heart beating passionately, as you did before. For the rest of your life, you must be able to laugh freely,” Helan had said, gazing deeply into her eyes. “After I’m gone, let me go. This is my final request to you.” The copied scripture turned into drifting ashes before the small Buddhist shrine. Smoke rose in swirling wisps, stinging her eyes. Before the firelight, Shaoyin blinked her reddened eyes gently. The tears about to fall seemed to be baked into place by the flames consuming the scripture, congealing at the corners of her eyes. After all, she was still weak from illness. Once she had finished burning the scripture and drank a bowl of medicine, Shaoyin felt so exhausted that she could not continue sitting and copying scriptures. At Qianyun’s urging, she loosened her clothes and lay down to rest. Lying quietly within the curtains, she gradually fell asleep again without realizing it. When she woke once more, Shaoyin did not know what time it was. She only saw a few rays of sunlight filtering through the window beyond the bed curtains, and a figure seated watchfully outside the screen. “Qianyun…” Shaoyin called softly. The figure hurriedly rose and came over, gently lifting the bed curtain. “What does County Princess require?” Shaoyin asked, “What time is it now?” “Reporting to County Princess, it is already the third quarter of the Hour of the Goat,” Maid Qianyun replied. It was already afternoon. She had slept for more than an hour. Because her body still felt weak, Shaoyin did not hurry to rise. As she continued lying quietly, she saw Maid Qianyun hesitate beside the bed before asking, “County Princess… do you wish to get up now?” As she spoke, Qianyun could not help glancing outside. It seemed something had happened out there. Shaoyin asked, “Has something happened?” Qianyun hesitated, looking as though she found it inconvenient to say. Shaoyin said, “Just tell me.” Qianyun’s expression twisted with indecision for a moment before she finally said, “His Highness Prince Chu is waiting outside to see County Princess. But His Highness Prince Chu would not let me disturb your rest. He said he would wait until you had rested enough and risen on your own before telling you that he had come.” Hearing this, Shaoyin hurriedly pushed herself upright with her hands against the bedding. She asked Qianyun in surprise, “When did His Highness Prince Chu arrive? Has he been waiting outside this whole time?” “His Highness Prince Chu arrived at the end of the Hour of the Snake. You had only just changed and gotten into bed when His Highness arrived. After learning that you had gone to bed to rest, His Highness said he would wait outside Yurong Court. He also said that he did not need Madam and Master to keep him company. He has been sitting alone in the pavilion outside the court for more than an hour.” After hearing this, Shaoyin quickly asked Qianyun to help her out of bed and hurriedly wash and dress. She also told another maid to invite His Highness Prince Chu into the small reception hall in Yurong Court, serve him hot tea and refreshments, and ask him to wait a little longer. She would come meet him shortly. After hastily washing and dressing, Shaoyin walked toward the small reception hall. She saw that Prince Chu Xiao Yu was not sitting down drinking tea. Instead, he had his hands clasped behind his back and was pacing around the hall, appearing restless and distracted. Before Shaoyin even entered the hall, Xiao Yu heard her footsteps. He came out to greet her first, calling her both “Sister Xue” and “Shaoyin.” Shaoyin was about to bow according to etiquette, but the moment she slightly bent her knees, Xiao Yu stopped her. Xiao Yu invited her to sit down in the hall and speak. After sitting opposite her, he studied her sickly complexion, worry appearing on his face. “When I was in the palace that day, I heard that Sister had caught a chill. After coming today, I heard your Older Brother and Sister-in-law say that you still haven’t recovered. How did you become so seriously ill?” “It’s only a minor illness. I’ll recover after resting at home for a few days. Your Highness need not worry about me.” After saying this, Shaoyin smiled at Xiao Yu. “I still haven’t thanked Your Highness in person for going into the water to save me that day in the palace.” Hearing this, Xiao Yu’s face showed a trace of shame. “There’s no need for Sister Xue to say that. I was not quick enough. It was Imperial Older Brother who rescued you first. Imperial Older Brother… Imperial Older Brother…” His voice grew halting and faint, as if he did not know how to continue asking. Thinking that Xiao Yu wanted to ask why Xiao Heng had kept her in the palace for so many days, Shaoyin said, “His Majesty merely kept me in the palace for a few days. That’s all.” Xiao Yu did not speak for quite some time. Shaoyin did not know whether he did not believe her or whether there was some other reason. After a moment of silence, he spoke softly again. “When Sister was in the palace, I wanted to see you several times, but Imperial Older Brother would not allow it. Later, I also asked Mother Consort to see you, but even she could do nothing.” Naturally, she could do nothing. During those days, Xiao Heng had been acting like a madman, confining her in Zichen Palace. She had been unable to leave and see anyone, while the people outside had been unable to see her. Shaoyin said to Xiao Yu, “Thank you for your concern, Your Highness. I’m fine. Those days truly were nothing more than a few days spent in the palace.” Xiao Yu gazed at her. An indistinct, shadowy light seemed to flicker in his eyes, and once again he remained silent for quite some time. Shaoyin sensed that Xiao Yu had something he wanted to say but seemed to find difficult to voice. She smiled and said, “If Your Highness has something to say, please go ahead.” Then she added a small joke. “My temperament is much better now than it used to be. Your Highness needn’t be afraid.” Xiao Yu could not help smiling at her jest. He seemed a little bashful, but still looked steadily at her. “I’ve never been afraid of Sister.” Shaoyin had never seen such an expression in Xiao Yu’s eyes before. She was faintly stunned and could not help recalling the days when Xiao Yu had always loved circling around her. Xiao Yu was an imperial prince, and one greatly favored by the late emperor at that. How could he possibly have been afraid of her? Back then, whenever she put on an unpleasant expression, Xiao Yu would automatically move farther away—not because he feared her, but because… While her thoughts were in disarray, Shaoyin heard Xiao Yu say, “I want to ask Sister a question.” Shaoyin steadied herself slightly and nodded. “Your Highness, please ask.” Xiao Yu gazed into her eyes and asked, “Sister, do you still like Imperial Older Brother?”