Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Call Xiao Heng, Die Xiao Yu said, “Because I like Sister Xue, I care about everything concerning her. I want to do everything I can to give Sister Xue fewer worries and hope she can live happily.” After saying this, Xiao Yu saw that Imperial Older Brother’s face remained expressionless. He merely used a handkerchief to wipe his jade flute, silently polishing it for a long while. Just as Xiao Yu thought Imperial Older Brother would say nothing, he suddenly asked, “Does she like you?” As Imperial Older Brother spoke, he raised his eyes to look at him. His gaze was deep and dark, as though it reflected a frigid pool. “I don’t know. Perhaps she’ll come to like me one day. Or perhaps she never will in this lifetime.” Xiao Yu met Imperial Older Brother’s gaze directly. “But whether Sister Xue likes me or not has nothing to do with whether I like her. I’ve felt this way from the beginning, and that won’t change in the future.” Xiao Yu smiled. “In any case, things are still much better than before. At least Sister Xue no longer walks away the moment she sees me. Now, she’s willing to drink tea and admire flowers with me, stroll through the markets and enjoy herself with me. She’s willing to tell me things in her heart and smile at me.” He added with great spirit, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Cheng An stood silently at the side, watching the smile on Prince Chu’s face as he listened to those words. Cheng An thought to himself that His Majesty had still been far too lenient with Prince Chu all these years. Because His Majesty felt fraternal affection for Prince Chu, he was usually rather tolerant of him. As a result, Prince Chu had no idea how fearfully and cautiously the other princes of the late emperor conducted themselves before His Majesty, as if walking on thin ice. The moment those princes sensed anything amiss in His Majesty’s tone, they would not dare say another word. How could they compare with Prince Chu now, who had spoken so much without a care in the world? Cheng An silently shifted his gaze and stole a glance at His Majesty’s expression, but could discern nothing. Even after Prince Chu had finished speaking, His Majesty continued repairing the broken flute in his hands. He said nothing more to Prince Chu, merely telling him to withdraw. Prince Chu did not leave immediately, however. He continued asking, “Will Sister Xue be allowed to enter Chongqing Palace...?” Without raising his head, His Majesty said, “Tomorrow, I will issue the decree.” Prince Chu immediately beamed with delight. He respectfully thanked His Majesty on behalf of County Princess Yongning, then asked His Majesty to take care of his health and recover soon. Only after that did he leave the Western Warm Pavilion. After Prince Chu departed, Cheng An remained at the emperor’s side. Seeing His Majesty’s expression as calm as still water, Cheng An hesitated for a long while before forcing out a placating smile. “Prince Chu doesn’t know how to speak properly. Your Majesty, please don’t take it to heart.” His Majesty replied in an indifferent tone, “How does he not know how to speak? He spoke very well.” Cheng An was bewildered. They truly could not tell whether His Majesty was being sarcastic toward Prince Chu or speaking sincerely. While Cheng An was still puzzled, they saw that His Majesty had already repaired the broken flute using silver inlay. Holding the jade flute in his hands, His Majesty gently wiped its body with a handkerchief and murmured, “He’s right. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” After leaving Zichen Palace, Xiao Yu was happy that Sister Xue would be able to see Aunt the next day, yet he was also deeply worried about Sister Xue’s future. Imperial Older Brother seemed to have developed feelings for Sister Xue. But the Sister Xue of today had long since stopped having feelings for Imperial Older Brother. In the past, Sister Xue had been heartbroken because Imperial Older Brother did not love her. But now, she would only be frightened by the Son of Heaven’s sudden favor, and would want nothing more than to reject and avoid it. No matter what Imperial Older Brother did, Sister Xue would probably never turn back to look at him. But what if Imperial Older Brother, as the Son of Heaven, used imperial power to force her...? Xiao Yu stood rigidly outside Zichen Palace, as though the towering shadow of the imperial palace were pressing in from every direction, layer upon layer crushing down upon him. Even so, his heart remained utterly resolute. No matter what happened, he would not stand by and watch Sister Xue be harmed—not even if he had to risk everything, not even if... he had to oppose Imperial Older Brother. The following day, Shaoyin was at home accompanying her nephew and niece as they drew and played when she suddenly received an imperial decree permitting her to enter the palace and visit Aunt. Although she was suspicious of the decree that had suddenly been issued, and although she still feared the frenzied, incomprehensible state Xiao Heng had fallen into before the New Year, her longing for Aunt nevertheless overwhelmed everything else in her heart. Shaoyin hurriedly accepted the decree and gave thanks. She then had her older brother and Sister-in-law quickly prepare some things. Afterward, she brought those items with her and entered the palace by carriage alongside the palace attendants who had come to deliver the decree. Nothing unusual happened along the way. It seemed that, during the New Year celebrations, Xiao Heng had merely experienced a sudden fit of benevolence. The palace attendants truly brought her to the gates of Chongqing Palace. After unlocking and opening the doors, they respectfully informed her that, by His Majesty’s decree, she could remain inside to visit Mrs. Xue for as long as she wished. Compared to the previous time, when Xiao Heng had allowed her to visit for only half an hour, this time his imperial grace could truly be called boundless. Although Shaoyin did not understand why Xiao Heng had suddenly shown such great benevolence and bestowed such boundless imperial grace, all she wanted now was to see Aunt, and she had no time to think about anything else. After thanking the palace attendants, she hurried into Chongqing Palace with the items in her arms. The last time she had come here, Shaoyin had not known what condition Aunt was in and had not prepared anything. This time was different. Having learned that Aunt lived in poverty in Chongqing Palace, she had deliberately brought items that could improve her daily life. Yet it seemed her preparations were unnecessary. When she hurried to the front of the hall, Shaoyin stopped in surprise. The old, thin curtain she had seen the last time had already been replaced with a new one. The new curtain was thick and substantial, hanging there so tightly that not even the slightest chill could seep through. Shaoyin stood dazedly as she lifted the curtain and entered. The warmth that rushed over her immediately dispelled the cold that had settled over her along the journey. There were even braziers burning on the floor inside the hall, warming the room until it felt like spring. It was completely unlike the last time she had come, when the entire empty palace had been as cold as an ice cellar. Jiang Ningyan had said that everything concerning the Deposed Empress Xue was decided by the emperor’s court. Even as Consort Shu, she had no authority to ask about it. Therefore, in all the world, only Xiao Heng could order that Aunt’s life in confinement at Chongqing Palace be improved. It seemed that, after the New Year, Xiao Heng had suddenly become... less cold-hearted. When Shaoyin entered the hall, she saw that Aunt was still sitting before the mirror, talking to herself just as she had during Shaoyin’s last visit. Although Aunt’s mind had deteriorated to the point that she no longer recognized her, Shaoyin still called out joyfully, “Aunt!” She set down the items in her hands and hurried over. As before, Aunt raised her eyes at the sound, glanced at her, and then sank back into her own world, humming an indistinct little tune. Shaoyin was both delighted and heartbroken. As she had done during her last visit, she personally took care of Aunt. The former Empress of Daqi, once dignified and noble, the very embodiment of a mother to the empire, now had disheveled clothes and unkempt hair because her mind had become deranged. Shaoyin used the charcoal in the hall to heat water, then wiped Aunt’s hands and washed her face. She placed Aunt’s tangled, straw-like hair in the warm water and used the scented soap she had brought to wash and comb it. The hall was very warm, so Aunt would not catch cold. As she combed Aunt’s hair, Shaoyin slowly chatted with her about ordinary family matters, even though Aunt did not know who she was or understand anything she said. Shaoyin told Aunt about her distant marriage to Shuobei. She told her what kind of person her husband, Muyan Helan, had been, and that during the years she had spent in Shuobei, she had lived very well because of her husband Helan’s care and protection. That year, before setting out on the marriage alliance, Shaoyin had pleaded with the late emperor for mercy and begged permission to enter Chongqing Palace so she could see Aunt one last time. At the time, she had believed that after marrying into Shuobei, she would never return to Daqi in this lifetime. She had thought it would be the last time she could see Aunt, so she had worn her wedding dress and knelt before Aunt with tears in her eyes to bid her farewell. Aunt had always been an exceptionally strong-willed person. In the past, Shaoyin had never seen Aunt shed tears—not even once. She had not even seen her eyes grow red. Even after being deposed from her position as Empress, stripped of all her former honors, and placed at risk of being sentenced to death, Aunt had not shed a single tear when facing the late emperor. But that day, Aunt had wept bitterly. Aunt had held her tightly in her arms, tears streaming down her face as she begged Shaoyin not to go. Though she had maintained a straight back even after being deposed and imprisoned in Chongqing Palace, Aunt had bent at the waist as she sobbed that day, as though even the last of her pride had been shattered. “How can you go to that desolate barbarian land?! How could he treat you like this, handing you over to barbarians to be tormented and abused?! Aunt will beg him. Aunt will use this life to beg him. If he wants my life, he can take it! Whether he uses Qianji poison or has me hacked to pieces, I’ll endure it all, so long as he spares you, so long as he spares you...” Aunt had clung tightly to her, pressing her face against Shaoyin’s cheek, as though Shaoyin were still the little girl who used to sit in her aunt’s lap. “Ayin, don’t be afraid. Aunt has a way. Aunt still has a way. You don’t have to go anywhere. Aunt will protect you...” But at that time, Aunt’s own life had been hanging by a thread. What way could she possibly have had? Yet the opportunity to marry into Shuobei had been something Shaoyin had begged the late emperor for countless times. It was her only chance to protect Aunt and the Xue family. She was willing to spend her entire life maintaining the alliance between the two nations, asking only that the late emperor forgive the Xue family and spare Aunt’s life. Thus, that day, she could only forcibly pry Aunt’s hands away. Amid the repeated urging of the palace eunuchs, she hardened her heart and left Chongqing Palace. She had heard Aunt chasing after her. She had heard the heavy sound of Chongqing Palace’s gates closing behind her, cutting off Aunt’s pursuit but not her heartrending cries. On the other side of the gates, Aunt had desperately pounded on the doors, calling again and again, “Ayin! Ayin!” Her voice had grown increasingly hoarse. Even after the palace attendants had escorted Shaoyin far away, she could still hear Aunt’s screams behind her, one after another, like a cuckoo crying blood. Remembering the past, Shaoyin lowered her head and gently pressed her forehead against Aunt’s, just as she had when she was little. “Aunt, I really lived very well in Shuobei. You don’t need to worry,” Shaoyin murmured. “I was very fortunate. The husband I met was the finest man in all the world.” Perhaps because Aunt could not understand anything, and because there was no one else in Chongqing Palace, Shaoyin spoke without restraint. She told Aunt every sweet detail of her five years as a wife with Helan. It was as though she wanted to tell Aunt that she had not suffered in Shuobei and that Aunt could rest easy. Yet it was also as though she were pouring out her longing for Helan, recalling the beautiful years that could never return in this lifetime. But even the most beautiful days must come to an end. By the time she helped Aunt sit before the mirror and began wiping and combing her damp hair, Shaoyin had already reached the part where she had learned that she was pregnant. At that time, she and Helan had seemed to be the happiest people in the world. But not long afterward, grief had swept over them like a tidal wave. Then Helan had passed away, leaving her alone to struggle in that tide of sorrow, as though she would never escape it for the rest of her life. As she combed Aunt’s hair, Shaoyin remained silent for a very long time. At last, she said softly, “Before Helan passed away, he hoped I could let go of him and our unborn child. He hoped I would move forward and look ahead, that I could form another good relationship with someone else—someone who loved me like he did—and love and remain with that person. He wanted me to forget my sorrow and live happily.” “But... I don’t think I can do it... I can’t let go, and I can’t forget...” “But shouldn’t I stop doing this? By making Helan worry about me even after his death, am I not disturbing his rest in the Nine Springs? Shouldn’t I do as he said...? At the very least... at the very least, should I not try?” “Yesterday, Prince Chu said many things to me. He said he liked me, and that he had liked me for a very long time.” “Should I accept Prince Chu’s feelings...? Should I try spending some time with him...? Should I see whether I can let go, whether I can do as Helan said and move forward, look ahead...?” “But I’m afraid. I’m afraid I still won’t be able to let go or accept someone else’s feelings. In the end, I might hurt Prince Chu...” “I’ve always hurt him in the past... I can’t hurt him again...” Believing that Aunt, whose mind had deteriorated, could not understand a word she said, Shaoyin spoke as though she were confiding in someone and as though she were talking to herself. Alone, she murmured on for a long time. All the words she usually kept hidden in her heart, words she could not tell anyone, she gently spoke aloud, accompanied by endless confusion and sorrow that she could not release. Yet she did not know that her aunt had been listening carefully to every word. Although she acted as though she did not care, amusing herself and ignoring the young woman who had suddenly come to care for her, the Deposed Empress Xue had heard every single word her niece said. The former Empress of Daqi, Xue Jingrong, had not truly lost her mind and become childlike because of the blow of being deposed and five long years of imprisonment. She was perfectly lucid. She had remained perfectly lucid throughout these five years. She had only pretended to be deranged in order to deceive Xiao Heng. Compared to allowing her to die and find release, Xiao Heng might have preferred to see the once high and mighty, arrogant Empress Xue reduced to a fool, a madwoman, a laughingstock—living on in a crazy, absurd, lonely, and miserable state. She had to stay alive. Only by staying alive could she have a chance to rise again. And now, she had finally waited for that chance. When Shaoyin had suddenly entered Chongqing Palace last winter, Xue Jingrong had been so shocked that she had nearly been unable to maintain her disguise. She could only hurriedly lower her head, concealing her true emotions and restraining herself from revealing anything unusual. While pretending not to recognize Shaoyin, Xue Jingrong had secretly looked at her niece again and again through the mirror, feeling both joy and heartache. But fearing that Xiao Heng had spies watching in secret, Xue Jingrong had been unable to ask her niece anything. Only today had she finally heard everything from her niece and learned why she had suddenly been able to return to Daqi, as well as how she had spent the past five years. When she learned that her niece’s marriage alliance had resulted in a good marriage, and that her niece had neither suffered nor been bullied during those five years in Shuobei, Xue Jingrong was naturally delighted for her in her heart. When she learned that her niece’s husband in Shuobei had died and that her niece was deeply grieved by it, Xue Jingrong did feel some sorrow for her—but only a little. Nothing was certain when it came to love. During those five years, Muyan Helan had indeed treated Ayin extremely well. But even so, there was no guarantee that he would not change his heart in the future, that he would not become a completely different person and shatter all of Ayin’s happiness, leaving her heartbroken. People’s hearts changed easily. A man’s words could never be trusted. The only people they could truly rely on were themselves. But a man’s heart could be put to very good use. Before Shaoyin came to Chongqing Palace today, a large number of palace attendants had suddenly arrived to clean and tidy the place. Not only had they replaced the old doors, windows, and curtains, they had also lit braziers on the floor. The charcoal burning inside them was silver-bone charcoal, which only the emperor and Empress were permitted to use. The attendants thought she was an idiot who could not understand anything, so they did not avoid speaking in front of her. The eunuch in charge ordered the attendants to work faster, saying that His Majesty had given the instructions himself. The hall had to be made as warm as spring. County Princess Yongning had only recently recovered from her illness, and absolutely could not catch cold in Chongqing Palace. If County Princess Yongning coughed even once while leaving Chongqing Palace, every one of them would be punished. After all these years, that cold and heartless Xiao Heng seemed to have suddenly become a man with a heart and feelings. Xue Jingrong silently sneered inwardly. From the corner of her lowered eye, she secretly glanced through the mirror at the tall figure outside the window. From the moment Shaoyin had begun speaking of her past with Muyan Helan, that figure had quietly arrived outside the hall. Shaoyin had been completely absorbed in her memories and in her aunt, so she had not noticed. For all this time, the person outside had heard every word Shaoyin said without missing a single one. Even back then, Xue Jingrong had never believed that Xiao Heng had been entirely without feelings for Shaoyin. Now, this development had confirmed her conjecture. Excellent. Five years ago, she had lost by a single move. Not only had she failed to kill Xiao Heng, she had also been forced into her present predicament by him, nearly losing the entire game. But she had not lost everything. She still had Ayin. Her Ayin had returned. From childhood, Ayin had always been a good girl who listened to her aunt. Ayin would listen to her now as well. Since Ayin’s heart was filled entirely with that Muy an Helan and had long since held no place for Xiao Heng— This time, she would definitely have Xiao Heng die at Ayin’s hands. Author’s Note: None Close