Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Only Him, Forever Though he was angry and suspicious, Xiao Yu could not simply ignore the sight of Imperial Older Brother’s scalded hand. He hurriedly asked a passerby where the nearest medical clinic was. Once they reached the clinic, the physician cleaned and dressed Imperial Older Brother’s wound while Xiao Yu waited nearby. He saw Sister Xue silently gazing at Imperial Older Brother. She said nothing, but her expression was somber, and deep in her eyes seemed to linger a trace of guilt toward him. After applying the medicine, the old physician brought over some bandages to wrap Imperial Older Brother’s hand. Perhaps he was advanced in years and his hands were no longer steady. As the old physician bandaged the wound, his hands trembled violently, while Imperial Older Brother seemed to frown slightly from the pain. Seeing this, Sister Xue broke the silence and said softly, “Let me do it.” How could he let Sister Xue do that? At once, Xiao Yu stepped forward and spoke before she could move. “I’ll do it. I’ll bandage Older Brother’s hand.” He took the bandages from the old physician and began wrapping Imperial Older Brother’s hand. Once the wound had been bandaged, they could no longer continue their Lantern Festival outing that night. After leaving the clinic, Xiao Yu said to Imperial Older Brother, “Imperial Older Brother, you should return to the palace at once. Have the imperial physicians examine your hand again. You are the Son of Heaven, worth ten thousand in gold; you cannot afford even the slightest mishap.” Sister Xue also echoed his words, urging Imperial Older Brother to return to the palace as soon as possible and summon the imperial physicians. Imperial Older Brother glanced at Sister Xue. He did not stubbornly refuse, merely saying with what seemed to be a hint of apology, “I have spoiled your enjoyment this evening.” Xiao Yu was worried about Imperial Older Brother’s injured hand, and Imperial Older Brother’s words made his teeth itch with anger, yet he could not show it in the slightest. He could only keep his face stiff as he said, “With me escorting Sister Xue home, Imperial Older Brother need not worry.” That night, after escorting Sister Xue to the gates of the Xue family residence, Xiao Yu could not help saying, just as she was about to leave, “Next time…” Sister Xue paused for a moment, then smiled faintly and said, “Next time, if we have the opportunity, I’ll go out and enjoy ourselves with Your Highness again.” With those words from Sister Xue, Xiao Yu felt much more at ease. Because Imperial Older Brother seemed to have used a self-injury ruse that night, Xiao Yu could not help worrying whether Sister Xue might rekindle her old feelings for him. Xiao Yu had watched with his own eyes how deeply Sister Xue had once loved Imperial Older Brother. That love had been so steadfast and tenacious, like solid iron. Even if others exhausted all their strength, they could not chisel out the slightest crack in it. It was Imperial Older Brother’s years of coldness and ruthlessness that had frozen Sister Xue’s passionate, steadfast love—hot as molten iron—into ice. Every instance of Imperial Older Brother’s indifference and aloofness had added another crack to the ice. As the days and years passed, the surface became riddled with fissures. In the end, that once-indestructible love shattered and collapsed, dissolving into the water and vanishing without a trace. But if Imperial Older Brother no longer behaved with the same coldness as before, if he became warm toward Sister Xue and even shielded her with his own body, would love perhaps ignite once more in her heart? Xiao Yu had worried about this all the way here. Only now, when he saw Sister Xue smile at him and heard her say those words, did his heart finally settle somewhat. They said that once bitten by a snake, one feared a coiled rope for ten years. Even if Imperial Older Brother truly mended his ways and became as different from his former self as night from day, the harm he had caused Sister Xue could not simply be erased. Even if her heart warmed for a moment, she would remember the despair she had once felt. How could she love him again as she had before, throwing herself into it without reservation? He had been overthinking things. Imperial Older Brother was merely making a futile effort. Sister Xue’s attitude toward him, however, had indeed become entirely different from before. On this Lantern Festival night, Xue Ming and Yan Huiniang had also taken their two children into the streets to view the lanterns. By the time Shaoyin returned home, her Older Brother and Sister-in-law had yet to come back. Shaoyin returned to Yurong Court, where she told the maids to retire and rest. Then she remained quietly alone in her room. On the lantern-lit street that night, when the startled cries of the surrounding pedestrians suddenly rang out, Shaoyin still did not know what had happened. Before she had time to look up, a shadow suddenly fell over her. Xiao Heng lunged forward and pulled her into his arms, shielding her in time. In that instant, Shaoyin heard something slam heavily into Xiao Heng’s body. She felt a wave of searing heat rush over her and smelled the scent of flesh burning. It was not until Xiao Yu kicked the lantern away and tore the flaming cloak from Xiao Heng’s body that she seemed to understand what had just happened. The cloak on the ground burned fiercely in the wind, its flames licking at the fabric. Xiao Heng gripped her shoulders tightly with both hands, anxiously examining her and asking whether she was hurt. She stood there in a daze, her gaze falling upon the right hand gripping her shoulder. A large portion of the skin on the back of Xiao Heng’s right hand had been burned away, leaving it a bloody, mangled mess. Why did he have to do this? In that moment, before she knew what else to think, this was the thought that rose in her heart. Just like last winter, when she had seen Xiao Heng desperately dive into the water to save her—why did he have to do this? Why? Even if all those wild words Xiao Heng had spoken to her were true… Even if he had truly loved her in the past, just as he claimed, but had been unable to see his own true feelings because of certain circumstances, that was all in the past now. It was something that had already passed. The past should remain in the past. Just as she had once loved seeing Xiao Heng dressed in azure robes because when he had jumped into the water to save her as a child, he had been wearing azure robes—so for many years afterward, she could never forget that azure figure. But no matter how unforgettable the past had been, she had long since let it go. No matter what color Xiao Heng wore, no matter what he said or did to her, it could not change the many things that had happened in the past, nor could it change the fact that she no longer loved him. If Xiao Heng were merely being stubborn, perhaps there would be no need for excessive worry. But he was the Son of Heaven… The sorrow rising in Shaoyin’s heart was like the boundless darkness outside the window, seemingly without end. Because Xiao Heng had injured his right hand for her sake, the next time Shaoyin entered the palace to visit Aunt, she could no longer go directly to Chongqing Palace. She first had to visit Zichen Palace and pay her respects to the Son of Heaven. When she arrived at Zichen Palace that day, Xiao Heng had only recently returned from court and was discussing state affairs with several trusted ministers in the Imperial Study. Shaoyin was not surprised. She had deliberately chosen this time. She had come to Zichen Palace precisely while Xiao Heng was occupied with court affairs. Shaoyin did not want to meet Xiao Heng. She only intended to ask the palace attendants at Zichen Palace how his injury was recovering. Then, since she could not disturb His Majesty while he attended to state affairs, she would offer a bow outside the Imperial Study and leave. But just after she arrived at Zichen Palace, Chief Steward Cheng, who was serving outside, personally came to greet her. “His Majesty is in the Imperial Study discussing state affairs with several ministers.” Chief Steward Cheng spoke with a smile as he bowed to her. Shaoyin hurriedly asked Chief Steward Cheng to rise, then politely inquired, “May I ask, Chief Steward Cheng, how is His Majesty’s hand recovering?” Like Cheng An, a very small number of close attendants at Zichen Palace had accompanied His Majesty in disguise when he left the palace that night during the Lantern Festival. Thus, they knew that His Majesty had burned his hand while saving County Princess Yongning. Chief Steward Cheng respectfully replied to County Princess Yongning, “He still needs medicine applied at set times each day. Imperial Physician Guo says that with an injury like His Majesty’s, it will take at least twenty or so days to heal completely.” Hearing that it would take so long to recover, Shaoyin fell silent, not knowing what to say. In the end, she exchanged a few polite words with him, expressed her concern for His Majesty to Chief Steward Cheng, and then said that she dared not disturb His Majesty while he handled state affairs. She was about to leave. But when Chief Steward Cheng saw her preparing to go, he urged her to stay. “Please go to the Western Warm Pavilion and have some tea, County Princess. If you wait for about half an hour, His Majesty should have time to see you.” In truth, Shaoyin was hoping that Xiao Heng would not have time. She continued saying that she dared not disturb His Majesty and prepared to leave. Yet her attitude seemed to make Cheng An anxious. He bowed deeply to her and asked her to wait there for a while, then hurried toward the Imperial Study. If His Majesty learned that County Princess Yongning had come and Cheng An had neither reported it nor managed to keep her there, he would certainly suffer for it. Cheng An entered the Imperial Study and reported County Princess Yongning’s arrival to His Majesty. As expected, he saw His Majesty’s eyes brighten. His Majesty then instructed County Princess Yongning to go to the Western Warm Pavilion for tea and said that once he had finished handling state affairs, he would go there to meet her. County Princess Yongning might disregard Cheng An’s suggestion, but she could not disobey the Son of Heaven’s imperial command. After receiving the order, Cheng An was about to leave and inform County Princess Yongning. But just as he was turning away, His Majesty rose from behind the imperial desk. “Enough. We will discuss these matters this afternoon.” His Majesty ordered the several ministers to withdraw and return to their offices. Then he walked around the imperial desk and strode outside, as though he could not even wait half an hour and wished to see County Princess Yongning immediately. But when he hurried outside the Imperial Hall, County Princess Yongning was nowhere to be seen. After asking the palace attendants, he was told that County Princess Yongning had already left. “She must have only just departed and cannot have gone far. This old servant can send someone after her…” Cheng An saw the light in His Majesty’s eyes dim and spoke cautiously. But His Majesty, who had been eager to see County Princess Yongning, gave no such order. He merely stood silently in the courtyard for a long while, then turned around in silence and slowly walked back alone. As she hurriedly left Zichen Palace, Shaoyin felt as though she were fleeing from something. Once she reached Chongqing Palace and began accompanying and caring for Aunt, that feeling of having fled still lingered in her heart. She did not want to see Xiao Heng. She did not want to face his obsession, nor did she want to face his kindness toward her. But could one escape for a moment and escape for a lifetime? Because of the sorrow in her heart, Shaoyin could not help talking to herself for a long time as she cared for Aunt. She told Aunt about how Xiao Heng had personally dived into the water to save her last winter, and also about how he had burned his hand protecting her on the night of the Lantern Festival. After murmuring to herself for a long while, and thinking it over at length in her heart, Shaoyin finally said softly, “I think I should still tell him. No matter what happens, he and I can never return to the way things were. I might accept Xiao Yu, or some other man—but him alone, never.” “No matter what the consequences may be, I should tell him as soon as possible. I shouldn’t keep dragging this out…” As she murmured, Shaoyin suddenly realized that Aunt had been completely silent for some time. She hurriedly lowered her head to look at Aunt’s face. Only then did she see that Aunt was so quiet—not even humming her songs—because she was too sleepy to keep her eyes open and had fallen asleep sitting up. “I’ll help you to the bed.” Shaoyin gently woke Aunt and helped her into the inner room, where she settled her on the bed. After tucking the quilt securely around Aunt, Shaoyin stood beside the bed and lowered the curtains on both sides. Feeling that the bedchamber was somewhat cold, Shaoyin decided to move the brazier from the outer room inside so that Aunt could keep warm while sleeping. But just as she was about to walk out, a hand suddenly seized hers, accompanied by a startlingly lucid voice. “Ayin.”