Chapter 30

Chapter 30: A Little Bit of Sugar Just that one sentence left Xiao Heng so flattered and astonished that he remained stunned for a long while. Even after Xue Shaoyin had left Zichen Palace and her figure had vanished into the distance, her words seemed to echo in Xiao Heng’s heart. A faint hope rose within him, yet he did not dare truly wish for anything. He was afraid it was merely wishful thinking, afraid that behind that tiny bit of hope lay an abyss of emptiness, containing nothing at all. But no matter what Xue Shaoyin truly thought, at least tomorrow… tomorrow, he would be able to see her again… With that thought, the days that had been as stagnant as dead water finally stirred with the faintest ripples. No matter what, tomorrow seemed to offer something to look forward to. Ever since his aunt’s troubles, the Xue family had fallen into decline. Xue Ming, the son of a Great General, possessed considerable martial ability, yet was unable to enter the military. Now, he was merely a seventh-rank civil official. In a place like the capital, where high officials and nobles gathered in droves, Xue Ming’s seventh-rank position was truly as insignificant as a grain of sesame. It was as though anyone could come along and trample on him. Over the past five years, Xue Ming had been exceedingly cautious in officialdom, treading on thin ice. Only after his younger sister returned did His Majesty seem to take a sudden interest in her. Because of His Majesty’s generous rewards and partiality toward his younger sister, the Xue family’s situation was now much better than before. When Xue Ming was in official circles, he could always see many more smiling faces. Even so, Xue Ming remained as cautious as he had been before. He did not grow arrogant merely because he currently enjoyed imperial favor. In his heart, imperial favor was fickle, and His Majesty’s nature was cold and unfeeling. Who knew whether, one day, he might suddenly turn against them again and treat the Xue family with indifference and ruthlessness? Thus, as always, even though he was only a minor seventh-rank official, he completed every official task flawlessly, without making the slightest mistake or taking the slightest bit of leisure. Because quite a few duties had accumulated after the New Year, Xue Ming sent someone home at dusk to tell his wife and children not to wait for him and to eat and retire early. He himself remained busy until around the hour of the Pig before finally returning home. By then, his wife should have been coaxing their two children to sleep. Xue Ming initially intended to go to the children’s bedchamber, but as he walked, he noticed that the light in his study was still burning. A graceful, slender figure sat quietly by the window. It was his younger sister. Xue Ming turned toward the study. Since his sister was still awake so late at night, she must have something she wished to tell him. Perhaps it was something important. His sister had gone to the palace today to visit their aunt—could something have happened to their aunt in Chongqing Palace? Xue Ming hurried into the study and asked her about it at once, only to hear his sister say that nothing was wrong. Tomorrow was their father’s death anniversary, and she had been missing him, so she had come to sit for a while in the study where their father had once worked. Hearing this, Xue Ming relaxed. He drank tea with his sister in the study, and the two of them began speaking of their memories of their father, comforting each other in their grief. Their father had been a Great General of the court during his lifetime. As his only son, Xue Ming had naturally been strictly disciplined from childhood. Yet however strict their father had been with him, he had been equally indulgent and doting toward his daughter. His sister truly had been the apple of their father’s eye. Xue Ming joked with his sister, “When I was young, seeing how much Father adored you, I even wished that I had been born a girl too.” After saying this, he saw his sister press her lips into a smile. Yet the smile lasted only an instant before fading away, leaving behind a sorrowful, lingering gloom between her brows and eyes. “Older Brother, do you still remember what happened when Father died?” his sister asked softly. “Of course I remember.” Xue Ming let out a sigh. That day, he had been practicing martial arts at the training grounds when he suddenly received the news. He rushed to the Qiuyuan Hunting Grounds and saw that their father, who had still been instructing him in swordsmanship that morning, had already lost consciousness from a stroke. Within little more than ten days, that renowned general had passed away. As Xue Ming sighed over the memory, he heard his sister ask, “Who was with Father when it happened?” Xue Ming thought for a moment before replying, “By the time I arrived, many people had already gathered around Father. The late emperor, the Crown Prince at the time, Your Highness Prince Chu, and others were all there. Later, I heard that the first person to discover that something had happened to Father was the Crown Prince at the time.” After answering, Xue Ming suddenly felt puzzled and asked, “Why are you suddenly asking about this?” “…It’s nothing…” After saying that, his sister remained silent for a long while. She merely lowered her head and took a few sips of tea before saying that she was tired and getting up to leave. She did not want him to see her out either. Xue Ming watched his sister gradually disappear into the night. A trace of doubt rose in his heart. Along with the deepening darkness, it grew increasingly intense, lingering in his thoughts for a long time. Having heard County Princess Yongning’s words the day before, Cheng An knew that His Majesty had been looking forward to her arrival since early that morning. Before setting out for court, His Majesty had ordered that if County Princess Yongning came, she was to go first to the Western Warm Pavilion. The tea was to be Shucheng Orchid Tea, and the refreshments were to include sugar-steamed milk custard and water chestnut-flour cakes. Everything had to suit County Princess Yongning’s tastes. After returning from court to the Imperial Study to handle state affairs, His Majesty discussed politics with the ministers while occasionally glancing toward the doors and windows to see whether County Princess Yongning had arrived. He waited expectantly for the palace attendants to report her arrival. Yet he waited in vain for half the day. County Princess Yongning did not come to Zichen Palace to pay her respects until the hour of Wei in the afternoon. His Majesty had been reading memorials at the time, so he immediately ordered that County Princess Yongning be admitted. Cheng An answered with a smile and hurried out of the Imperial Study to summon her. When Shaoyin entered the Imperial Study, she saw that Xiao Heng had already risen from the imperial throne and was walking around the imperial desk toward her with a smile. When she was about to bend her knees in salute, Xiao Heng used his uninjured left hand to lightly support her arm. “There’s no need for that. Haven’t I told you so many times already?” Shaoyin was silent for a moment, then did not salute and slowly straightened. On the way here, she had already decided what she wanted to say. But now, those words seemed to be lodged in her throat, leaving her blocked and somewhat unable to breathe. It was only after a long while that Shaoyin managed to speak. Though she had wanted to make her words gentler, when they came out, they still sounded somewhat cold and stiff. “…Is Your Majesty’s hand feeling any better today?” “It is.” Xiao Heng did not mind Xue Shaoyin’s tone at all. He was simply delighted that she was concerned about him. At the same time, he did not want her to worry too much, so he said, “As long as I have the dressing changed on time every day, it will heal after a while. It doesn’t inconvenience me much in daily life. I simply won’t be able to write properly for some time.” Shaoyin then asked, “How will Your Majesty review memorials in the meantime?” “For simple replies, I can still write ‘Approved’ or ‘Not approved.’ If a detailed instruction is needed, something long-winded, I can dictate it and have an eunuch write it down for me.” Hearing this, Shaoyin glanced at the imperial desk piled with memorials. “If Your Majesty does not object, I can attend to your writing and ink…” She lowered her head slightly, as though apologetic. “After all… after all, Your Majesty injured your hand because of me…” Xiao Heng did not need Xue Shaoyin to feel guilty toward him. But he truly hoped she would remain at his side a little longer, so he agreed at once. He ordered the palace attendants to bring in tea and refreshments, then had an armchair added beside the imperial desk. When an eunuch served as his secretary, the eunuch would stand bent over at his side. Naturally, Shaoyin could not be treated that way. On that spring afternoon, with the season gradually drawing near, Xue Shaoyin sat quietly beside him. Holding a purple-haired writing brush, she lowered her brows and eyes and wrote down, one character at a time, everything he dictated. As he spoke those tedious instructions, Xiao Heng gazed at Shaoyin’s brows and eyes in the sunlight streaming through the window. His thoughts drifted hazily, like dust motes floating in the sunlight, back to an afternoon in his youth. With the death anniversary of his birth mother approaching, he had once personally copied scriptures for her in the Eastern Palace study. While he was concentrating on the task, the young Xue Shaoyin had come to the Eastern Palace. As usual, he had paid her little attention, assuming she would grow angry and stomp away. But after learning what he was doing, Xue Shaoyin had dragged over a chair and sat down beside him. Then she spread out paper, picked up a brush, and began copying scriptures for his birth mother as well. He knew that Xue Shaoyin was not a quiet or patient person and had little tolerance for such tedious work. He assumed that after copying only a few sheets, she would impatiently toss aside her brush and leave. Yet Xue Shaoyin sat beside him for a very, very long time. The soft scratching of her brush against the paper, like a fine drizzle, continued without pause at his ear. In the end, he could not help sneaking a glance toward her. Her expression was tranquil, her features like moonlight falling into his heart. But now, it was Xue Shaoyin who raised her eyes to look at him, because he had not spoken for quite some time. Xiao Heng gathered his distracted thoughts and smiled at Xue Shaoyin. “That’s all. You don’t need to write anymore.” He then asked whether her hand was sore or whether she was tired, wanting her to sit with him by the window alcove, drink tea, and rest. Perhaps because she was hesitating inwardly, Xue Shaoyin remained silent for a moment. In the end, however, she said, “Thank you, Your Majesty, but it is getting late. I think I should return home.” Xiao Heng did not insist on keeping her. The fact that Xue Shaoyin had come to see him of her own accord today and had accompanied him for so long was already far beyond anything he had expected. He was like a child who had received a little bit of sugar and hurriedly clasped it in his hand, not daring to hope for too much at once. He was afraid that if he hoped for too much, he would knock over the plate and lose even that tiny bit of sugar. Yet before Shaoyin left, he could not help asking, “…Tomorrow… will you come tomorrow too?” When he saw Shaoyin shake her head slightly, Xiao Heng could not conceal the disappointment in his heart. He forced himself to maintain his smile, only to hear Shaoyin say, “Tomorrow is my father’s death anniversary. I have to go with my family to the cemetery to pay our respects.” Hearing the reason, Xiao Heng’s disappointment eased somewhat. After thinking for a moment, he said to Shaoyin, “Tomorrow, I will leave the palace in plain clothes and accompany you to visit General Xue’s grave.” Seeing the surprise in Shaoyin’s gaze, Xiao Heng also understood why she was looking at him that way. Back when he had still been Empress Xue’s adopted son, he had not been particularly close to his maternal uncle, Xue Guangfu. Xiao Heng said, “General Xue was a loyal and dutiful servant during his lifetime, a fine general of the state. There is nothing improper about my personally paying him a visit.” Shaoyin was silent for a moment. Instead of refusing Xiao Heng outright, she said, “I heard that before Father lost consciousness that year, the last person he saw was Your Majesty. After Father was sent home, he remained unconscious until the day he died. I never got the chance to say much to him. I don’t know what he was thinking at the end of his life, or whether he had any unfulfilled wishes.” Shaoyin asked Xiao Heng, “May I ask whether, that day at the Qiuyuan Hunting Grounds, Father said anything to Your Majesty?” Her tone was subdued, as though she were merely asking on a whim. Yet her gaze rested on Xiao Heng’s face, studying his expression closely. After she asked the question, she saw a hint of unnaturalness pass over Xiao Heng’s features beneath her scrutiny. “…He didn’t say anything.” In the end, Xiao Heng shifted his gaze away slightly. Author’s Note: None Close