Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Shattered to Pieces Although Shaoyin had politely declined to accompany Xiao Heng to the tomb that day, only a day later, Xiao Heng saw her come to Zichen Palace to pay her respects. After that, she came almost every day, asking after his recovery and even serving as his amanuensis while he reviewed memorials. There were more idle eyes in the palace than one could count, so the matter of County Princess Yongning entering and leaving Zichen Palace nearly every day soon spread throughout the Daqi Imperial Harem. In the court, the officials gradually learned of the close relationship between County Princess Yongning and His Majesty when they saw that the handwriting on the memorials’ replies was elegant and graceful. They could not help sighing over how fortunes changed—thirty years east of the river, thirty years west. His Majesty’s favor toward County Princess Yongning now seemed to surpass even what Consort Shu had once enjoyed. County Princess Yongning still had no official rank. If His Majesty formally brought her into the Imperial Harem, she would at the very least become one of the Four Consorts. Perhaps she might even rise higher… The Jiang family had always been certain that their lady would become Empress sooner or later, so long as she gave birth to a royal son. Who could have expected County Princess Yongning to emerge out of nowhere? Without even an official rank, she already seemed to have surpassed Consort Shu in His Majesty’s favor. How, then, could the Jiang family sit still? That day, when Jiang Chengxuan, Consort Shu’s elder brother and the current Deputy Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices, entered the palace to visit his younger sister, he asked her exactly what was going on. How had County Princess Yongning, who had once been hated by His Majesty, suddenly won the emperor’s heart not long after returning from Shuobei? It was simply inconceivable. “Could it be that County Princess Yongning learned some sort of sorcery in Shuobei to bewitch people’s hearts?” Worried and confused, Jiang Chengxuan asked his younger sister, Consort Shu, “What does Your Highness think?” “What can I think?” Jiang Ningyan replied flatly. “Whether he likes her or not is His Majesty’s affair. Could I possibly sway the imperial heart?” Jiang Chengxuan grew anxious upon hearing this. “But what if County Princess Yongning becomes pregnant with a prince first…” Jiang Ningyan had endured this for many days. Hearing her brother say this now, she felt as though a vein at her temple were throbbing violently. She rose to her feet and said, “There is no need for Older Brother to continue. I am tired and wish to rest.” Jiang Chengxuan had no choice but to stand and cup his hands toward Jiang Ningyan, saying, “This subject takes his leave. Your Highness, please take care of your health.” Before leaving, however, Jiang Chengxuan still lowered his voice and spoke earnestly from the heart. “The Jiang family has suffered many hardships over the years. Our current glory in court relies entirely on His Majesty’s favor. We absolutely must not lose it.” “Besides, County Princess Yongning has been at odds with Your Highness from the beginning. If she were to rely on a royal son and climb above Your Highness one day, would you not suffer at her hands? As your older brother, how could I bear to see you treated so?” Jiang Ningyan said nothing. After her brother left, she did not go to the rear hall to rest. Instead, she sank slowly back into her seat. The vein at her temple continued to throb. Pressing her fingers against her temple, Jiang Ningyan felt her thoughts being pulled into a tangled mess. She had no idea how to deal with the thorny situation before her. If His Majesty alone could not let go while County Princess Yongning avoided him; or if County Princess Yongning still admired His Majesty as she had in the past, while His Majesty remained as cold and distant toward her as before—then none of it would matter. But the situation now seemed to suggest that the two of them might actually be falling in love with each other… Could they truly be in love? Jiang Ningyan still remembered that, in Zhaoyang Palace, when Xue Shaoyin had answered her questions, she had said that her heart held only her deceased husband. At the time, there had not been the slightest hint of falsehood in Xue Shaoyin’s expression. Jiang Ningyan knew all too well what a woman looked like when she deeply loved a man. Jiang Ningyan did not know whether she was trying to escape from, unwilling to face and accept, the reality before her—or whether… whether some sort of intuition truly existed in her heart. Could there be a possibility that Xue Shaoyin was going to Zichen Palace every day not because she had fallen in love with His Majesty again as she once had, but because… she had some other motive? Could Xue Shaoyin be… deceiving His Majesty? Jiang Ningyan could not yet think of a reason why Xue Shaoyin would deceive His Majesty, but she could not stop herself from thinking in that direction, as though it were the only way she could break out of her current predicament. Only if Xue Shaoyin was deceiving His Majesty, only if His Majesty did not occupy her heart, could Jiang Ningyan escape the predicament before her. Otherwise, if Xue Shaoyin truly shared a mutual love with His Majesty, then not to mention the position of Empress—even the entire Daqi Imperial Harem seemed likely to have no place left for Jiang Ningyan. Xue Shaoyin… must be deceiving His Majesty! Whether it was because her intuition had grown stronger or because some obsession had taken deep root and begun to grow wildly within her heart, Jiang Ningyan’s troubled expression gradually hardened in the solitude of the palace. She would find the evidence. She would find evidence and expose Xue Shaoyin’s true face to His Majesty! After entering the palace that day, Shaoyin first went to visit Aunt. After leaving Chongqing Palace, she headed toward Zichen Palace. As she passed through the area near Lanyue Pavilion, she encountered Prince Chu Xiao Yu. Shaoyin had not seen Xiao Yu for some time, ever since the night of the Lantern Festival. After the Lantern Festival, Xiao Yu had invited her out several times, but because of the matters weighing on her heart, Shaoyin had politely declined him again and again. When they met again in the palace, Xiao Yu did not seem dissatisfied with her repeated refusals. The moment he saw her, he still walked quickly over and called out with a smile, “Sister.” How could Prince Chu Xiao Yu not know about the matter that had spread throughout both the court and the Imperial Harem? He merely believed that Sister Xue could not possibly have fallen in love with Imperial Older Brother again. The reason she had recently gone to Zichen Palace so often to pay her respects, leaving her no time to go on outings with him, was because Imperial Older Brother was using a “self-injury ruse.” Imperial Older Brother had used that injured hand of his to force Sister Xue to remain at his side. But Imperial Older Brother could not keep up this “self-injury ruse” forever. His injured hand should be healed soon. Before long, Sister Xue would no longer need to visit Imperial Older Brother at Zichen Palace so often out of gratitude and guilt. Thinking this, Xiao Yu asked Sister Xue how she had been recently and said that in a few days, he wished to invite her to Jinshan, in the countryside outside the capital, to enjoy the early-spring scenery. When Sister Xue politely declined, Xiao Yu felt disappointed, but he was not particularly surprised. He merely thought that she was vexed by Imperial Older Brother’s “self-injury ruse” and had no mood to travel far from the city. It was only after Sister Xue fell silent for a moment that she suddenly said to him, “…Thank you for Your Highness’s kindness, but please do not invite me again in the future.” Xiao Yu’s heart abruptly sank. He could not help taking a step forward as he asked anxiously and bewilderedly, “Why?” Although Aunt always said things to her about making use of Xiao Yu, Shaoyin had not the slightest desire to harm him, nor did she want to drag him into the enmity between the Xue family and Xiao Heng. She was already caught in the whirlpool. If Xiao Yu approached her, he would sooner or later be dragged into it as well. And once he became involved, how could Xiao Yu continue to be a carefree, peaceful prince? “Because Your Highness and I are not suited for each other.” “I am very grateful for Your Highness’s affection, and I am also very grateful for the help Your Highness once gave the Xue family. I admire Your Highness’s temperament and the way you conduct yourself, but… but as for Your Highness himself, I truly do not harbor romantic feelings for you, so…” Shaoyin finally steeled herself and said, “So please do not seek me out again in the future.” Although Sister Xue had rejected Xiao Yu once again, he had been rejected countless times over the years. Thus, while he felt dispirited, he was still able to hold himself together; he would not lose heart to the point of despair. At that moment, what concerned him most was actually Sister Xue’s final sentence. Even if they were not suited to become lovers, there was no need to sever contact entirely. Those final words did not sound like something Sister Xue would say. After returning from Shuobei, Sister Xue had treated him with far more warmth than before. Even if she would never accept his feelings in this lifetime, she should not have become this cold toward him. Compared with his own heartbreak, Xiao Yu was more worried about Sister Xue. He suspected that Imperial Older Brother had forced her to say these things. He was also worried that Imperial Older Brother had not merely used imperial authority to force her in this one matter. Had he also forced Sister Xue to visit Zichen Palace during these days? Had Imperial Older Brother humiliated her while she was there to pay her respects? Driven by worry, Xiao Yu asked her these questions directly and urgently. But Sister Xue denied them all. She insisted that she had gone to Zichen Palace of her own accord and that His Majesty had not forced her to do anything. Seeing that Sister Xue did not look as though she were lying, Xiao Yu’s heart grew colder by degrees. He had not believed the rumors circulating through the court and the Imperial Harem in the slightest. But now, seeing Sister Xue like this, he seemed to have no choice but to believe them, whether he wished to or not. Xiao Yu struggled to speak, his voice seeming to catch on the tip of his tongue. “…Sister, is Imperial Older Brother still in your heart?” Sister Xue lowered her brows and eyes slightly. She did not answer, but… neither did she deny it. And Xiao Yu seemed to have already heard the answer in her heart. Beside Lanyue Pavilion, green branches were budding and jasmine blossoms were bursting into bloom—a scene of vibrant early spring. Yet the prolonged silence seemed to weigh over the air like frost. Xiao Yu’s heart was utterly chilled, as though covered in autumn frost. Xiao Heng, however, felt completely differently in the distance. The light breeze carried every word of the conversation between Xue Shaoyin and Xiao Yu to his ears. He had been waiting for Xue Shaoyin in Zichen Palace for a long while, and when she still did not arrive, he could not bear it any longer and had personally come to look for her near Chongqing Palace. He had never expected to hear such a conversation near Lanyue Pavilion. During these days, Xiao Heng seemed to receive a tiny piece of candy every day. Like a child, he carefully stored each little bit of candy he received in a glass jar. He only dared to take it out and shake it to admire when he was alone. He did not dare show it to anyone in ordinary circumstances, as though he feared that one careless movement would make it fall, shatter into pieces, and scatter to the winds. Because Xue Shaoyin came almost every day, and because her attitude toward him seemed to grow gentler by the day, Xiao Heng could not help indulging in a few fantasies each day, yet he did not dare truly entertain them. He knew what he had done in the past. He knew how deep Xue Shaoyin’s feelings for Muyan Helan had been. He wanted to hold on to hope, yet he seemed to fear having hope. If his heart were lifted up, lifted to the highest place, then when it fell, he would be reduced to dust and bones, plunging into an abyss ten thousand zhang deep. As long as… as long as he could see her often, speak with her a little, and see her smile from the heart, that would be enough. Xiao Heng even thought this in his heart, lowering his expectations until his heart seemed to have sunk to the very bottom, into the dust. Yet today, at this very moment, he had heard with his own ears Xue Shaoyin reject Xiao Yu. He had seen with his own eyes that when Xiao Yu pressed her, she had not denied it, had not said that her heart held no trace of Xiao Heng at all. Though she had merely failed to deny it and had not admitted anything, Xiao Heng’s heart began to pound wildly in the early-spring breeze. He did not reveal himself then. After returning to Zichen Palace, he could neither sit nor stand nor walk about, his heart restless and tangled. Then, when he caught sight of the slender figure approaching the front of the hall, his heart suddenly stilled. In the next instant, it seemed as though butterflies were fluttering through it. As though it had come many years too late, the stirrings that should have belonged to the young Xiao Heng leaped lightly within his heart at this moment. Though youth could never return, perhaps time could begin anew. Author’s Note: None Close