Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Quenching Thirst with Poison At this moment, when Xue Jingrong looked at her niece Shaoyin, she truly felt proud of her. Yet Shaoyin’s expression was bland, as though she did not share her aunt’s happiness. Thinking she knew what Shaoyin was worrying about, Xue Jingrong gently urged her, “Just endure it for now. Endure it for two or three years. As long as you give birth to a prince, everything will be fine.” She continued, “Back then, didn’t I endure for many years by the late emperor’s side as well? If I hadn’t been able to endure, how could a woman without children like me have remained in the position of empress for so many years? I would have been schemed against and brought down long ago.” Shaoyin said, “If only Aunt had had a child. If you had had a biological child, perhaps things would not have been so difficult back then, and you might not have been framed to such an extent later.” Xue Jingrong sighed. “Yes, if only I had had a biological son. If I had, I would not have needed to adopt Xiao Heng. I would not have invited a wolf into the house, bringing myself and the Xue family to our current plight—or, indirectly, causing your father’s death.” “Father was killed by Xiao Heng. Aunt, you need not blame yourself.” As she spoke, Shaoyin paused briefly before continuing, “Yesterday, I tested Xiao Heng about Father’s affairs…” The hand Xue Jingrong had been using to drink her tea faltered slightly. “…What did Xiao Heng say?” Shaoyin noticed the fleeting trace of unease on her aunt’s face, but her voice remained ordinary as she said, “Xiao Heng didn’t say anything. He dodged the question and never answered me.” “He’s feeling guilty.” Xue Jingrong set down her teacup and clasped Shaoyin’s hands tightly, earnestly instructing her, “You must be careful. You absolutely cannot make any rash moves and alert him, lest you arouse Xiao Heng’s suspicions.” “Xiao Heng is an exceedingly calculating man. Even when he was young, he managed to deceive me for several years. Until you become empress and give birth to a prince, do not mention your father’s affairs in front of him again. Nor should you test him about Aunt’s affairs. Mention none of the old matters in front of him. You need only find a way to give birth to a prince, and find a way to secure the position of Commander of the Imperial Guards for your Older Brother.” Xue Jingrong gazed at Shaoyin with intense expectation. “If you cannot endure the small things, you will ruin the greater plan. Do you understand?” Looking at her aunt’s solemn expression and the blazing light in her eyes, Shaoyin said softly, “…I understand, Aunt.” After leaving Chongqing Palace, Shaoyin had not gone far when she encountered palace attendants from Shou'an Palace. After saluting her, one of them said they had been waiting there on the Noble Consort Dowager’s orders. The Noble Consort Dowager invited her to Shou'an Palace for tea and conversation. Shaoyin had already made up her mind not to have anything more to do with Prince Chu. Naturally, she did not want to meet Prince Chu’s mother again. Besides, she could more or less guess that the Noble Consort Dowager wanted to see her at this time to discuss matters related to Prince Chu. She had no way to explain her “change of heart” to the Noble Consort Dowager, and had nothing to say, so she politely declined the invitation then and there. When the attendant saw that County Princess Yongning was determined not to go, she could only bend and curtsy to her before returning to Shou'an Palace to report. The Noble Consort Dowager was not surprised when she heard the attendant’s report. She continued playing chess by herself, picking up a white piece she had placed only moments earlier and pondering over it again. After considering the position, the Noble Consort Dowager placed the white piece elsewhere. The formation that had been surrounded and trapped by the black pieces seemed to show the beginnings of a way out because of that single move. A smile could not help but gather at the Noble Consort Dowager’s lips. Her bare, clean face seemed to regain, because of that smile, the radiant beauty she had possessed in the days when she had been the emperor’s favored consort. She left the unfinished chess game where it was and instructed a palace attendant, “Break off a few branches of the apricot blossoms that have newly bloomed in the garden and send them to Consort Shu for her enjoyment. Invite Consort Shu to come over for tea and a game of chess when she has time, to pass the idle hours.” The attendant acknowledged the order and left. Through the window, the Noble Consort Dowager watched the maid climb up to break off the apricot blossoms. The tree was in full bloom, yet its flowers could only remain confined within the high walls of Shou'an Palace, unable to carry the brilliance of spring outward for the world to see their delicate beauty and freshness. The only thing the late emperor had given her was this enclosed palace, hemmed in by walls. And the status of a favored consort. He had refused to give her anything more. He had repeatedly claimed that A-Yu was his favorite son, yet he had made Xiao Heng the Crown Prince. He had vigorously protected Xiao Heng’s position as Crown Prince, and no matter how subtly she hinted, he had never once considered changing the heir. He had not cared in the slightest how difficult life would become for her and A-Yu under the Xue family’s rule after his death. He had only said that Xiao Heng had received his instructions and would certainly not mistreat mother and son. It was truly laughable. If even her husband, who had repeatedly claimed to dote on her most, held such an attitude, how could she trust an outsider? Perhaps in the first few years after ascending the throne, Xiao Heng would put on an act to gain a reputation as a benevolent and generous ruler, and to show the world the imperial family’s fraternal affection. But once enough time had passed, how could the suspicious heart of an emperor tolerate the son most favored by the Imperial Father while he was alive? The Imperial Father had even once said, after drinking, that he loved this son most and hoped that this son would inherit the throne. How could she not make more plans for herself and A-Yu? In the past, she had hoped that Crown Prince Xiao Heng and the Xue family would turn against each other and destroy one another. But although the Xue family had fallen, Xiao Heng had remained safe and sound, still sitting securely in the position of Crown Prince. Afterward, he had personally led troops into battle and driven out Xirong, making his position as solid as cast iron. After that, it had seemed that there was no opportunity left—until Xue Shaoyin returned. The woman her A-Yu had loved since childhood, the woman he had foolishly yearned for and never forgotten through all those years, had actually returned to Daqi. And the Crown Prince of the Eastern Palace, who had disliked Xue Shaoyin in the past, had become favored by the imperial heart five years later, as though he were an entirely different person. Xiao Heng had personally entered the water to save Xue Shaoyin, kept her in Zichen Palace, lavishly rewarded the Xue family, and now even intended to make Xue Shaoyin empress. It was as though she had finally waited for the opportunity she had dreamed of—a chance that might perhaps be the last she would ever have to seize. If she missed it, she would never have it again. If she failed to seize it and one day had to be at the mercy of others, she could only blame herself for her former hesitation and retreat. She would not hesitate or retreat—not for the sake of her A-Yu. The Noble Consort Dowager watched several apricot blossoms blown from the branches. Carried by the wind, they drifted over the high walls toward distant and lofty places, flying higher and farther. In the past, she had been unable to sit upon the phoenix seat in Kunning Palace. Although the Xue family had been utterly defeated, she had never managed to surpass the Xue family in attaining the position of empress. Though she had failed to become the mistress of Kunning Palace, perhaps in this lifetime she could enter Cining Palace and, with the honor of an empress dowager, truly become the most exalted woman in the world. After politely declining Shou'an Palace’s invitation, Shaoyin had been walking slowly toward the palace gates. But before she had gone far, attendants from Zichen Palace came hurrying up to her and told her that His Majesty wished to see her, asking her to go to Zichen Palace. Although they said His Majesty wished to see her, in truth, nothing would happen if she refused to go. In the past, whenever she wanted to refuse Xiao Heng, she had needed to find a suitable reason and make her refusal as tactful and humble as possible. Now, it seemed she did not even need to look for a reason. She could go if she wanted, and if she did not, it would not matter. No imperial dignity or ritual propriety would press down upon her. Yet Shaoyin still went to Zichen Palace. She did not know what impulse had prompted her. Perhaps she wanted to follow her aunt’s instructions, continue showing Xiao Heng goodwill, stabilize him, and ensure that the imperial wedding proceeded smoothly. Or perhaps… she simply wanted to see how a person could quench thirst with poison, and how he could willingly savor it. When Shaoyin entered the imperial hall, she saw that Xiao Heng was not handling state affairs as he usually did. Instead, he appeared several times busier than when he was dealing with government matters. Xiao Heng had not left all the arrangements related to the wedding to his subordinates. He was deeply invested in many of the wedding’s details, personally asking about and deciding them. For example, what region the pearls on the empress’s phoenix crown should come from, and what size and weight the pearls should be. Or what form the fireworks on the night of the wedding should take, where they should be set off, and for how many hours at each location. Xiao Heng was personally attending to every aspect. It seemed he wanted this wedding to be perfect, without the slightest regret or flaw. He also wanted her to participate, to work with him to make the wedding perfect. That was why he had sent palace attendants to invite her to Zichen Palace. With a smile, Xiao Heng asked her about many of the wedding details, wanting her to make the decisions. He said that he could not make up his mind, and that whatever she thought would certainly be right and good. “Does Your Majesty think that because I have been married once before and therefore have plenty of experience, you should have me make the decisions?” For some reason, the moment Shaoyin opened her mouth, her words came out exceptionally cutting. She was not ordinarily this kind of person. Neither the Shaoyin of today nor the somewhat spoiled Xue Shaoyin of the past would have spoken to anyone with such cruelty. Yet when she faced Xiao Heng at that moment, such words came straight from her mouth. It was when she saw the smile on Xiao Heng’s face, when she looked at the joy and hope in his eyes. That day, in this very palace, when she had opened her mouth and agreed to marry Xiao Heng, she had seemed to see someone holding a cup of poisoned wine on the other side of a bridge. And so she had placed one foot onto a swaying, crumbling single-plank bridge. Beneath that bridge, the abyssal current was bottomless. She knew this—could Xiao Heng truly not know it as well? Yet even then, after hearing her cutting words, Xiao Heng merely looked somewhat awkward as he said, “That is not what I meant. I only…” “…only that this is our wedding.” Xiao Heng looked at her and spoke gently, a smile in his voice. “That is why I want you and me to decide many things together.” At Xiao Heng’s order, the palace attendants before the imperial hall brought over many sets of empress wedding robes embroidered in gold on a bright red ground. In truth, according to ritual regulations, the wedding robes of the Daqi empress had strict specifications. The materials used and the patterns and styles in every detail were governed by highly specific ceremonial laws. Yet Xiao Heng had ordered people to make many different sets. Aside from the style strictly prescribed by ritual, the other wedding robes were embroidered with different patterns, and even their smaller ornaments varied. “I remember you once said that you disliked the auspicious bat patterns and auspicious beast patterns on wedding robes, because you felt their styles were old-fashioned and rigid. You preferred having more vivid floral and grass patterns on your clothes. So I ordered people to prepare several additional sets with different patterns for you to choose from.” Xiao Heng said, “See if there is one you like. If none of them suit you, I will order people to make another set. It must be to your satisfaction.” Shaoyin walked over to examine the elaborately crafted red wedding robes woven with gold. The various patterns seemed to dance before her eyes in the sunlight: twelve layers of pheasant motifs, paired phoenixes holding a pearl in their beaks, curling peony branches, pomegranate flowers and daylilies. Threads of gold intertwined, glittering like flowing light. Shaoyin stopped before a bright red wedding robe embroidered with cloud-and-radiance pheasant patterns alongside baoxiang flowers. Seeing her gaze fixed upon it, Xiao Heng asked, “Do you like this one?” Shaoyin gave a slight nod. “This one is somewhat similar in both its patterns and style to the one I wore when I married five years ago.” She looked toward Xiao Heng and said flatly, “Does Your Majesty remember so clearly what it looked like back then in Lizhou that you ordered this one made so similarly?” Author’s Note: None Close