Chapter 39

Chapter 39: When the Light Came In Xiao Heng curved his lips at her words, asked her to wait there, then smiled and strode toward the flower stall. His figure was light and lively, like a young man. Watching Xiao Heng’s brisk back, Shaoyin thought that she and Xiao Heng were now like two little figures in a shadow puppet play, rehearsing their roles. It was as though they both knew what the other was thinking, yet still cooperated with each other to act out the play, one scene after another. What would the ending of the play be? Would she pour herself and the rest of her life into the blazing fire of revenge, yet never succeed, remaining trapped by Xiao Heng in the deep palace for the rest of her life? Or would there come a day when she succeeded in taking her revenge and, as her Aunt had planned, killed Xiao Heng? Shaoyin slowly walked over to Xiao Heng and saw that he was seriously choosing among the apricot blossoms. She casually pointed to one. “That one.” Xiao Heng smiled. “I think this one is the best too.” He picked up the pale-pink apricot blossom and prepared to tuck it into her hair. Shaoyin lowered her head slightly. Xiao Heng raised his hand to place the flower in her hair, and the sleeve that fell from his arm brushed against her cheek. It was cool and ticklish, and it also blocked her vision, making it impossible for her to see clearly for a moment. She could only hear the flower seller laughingly urge him, “Young sir, buy a few more flowers for your lady.” “We haven’t married yet.” Xiao Heng’s voice carried a smile. After a brief pause, his smile brightened, like a child impatient to show off. “We’re getting married tomorrow.” Shaoyin could not see the expression on Xiao Heng’s face at that moment, but she could almost imagine it. His eyes must have been shining brightly, joy filling every corner of his brows and eyes. Just as on the day she had carried tremella-and-lotus-seed sweet soup toward him. Even when Chief Steward Cheng had suspected that the soup was poisoned, Xiao Heng’s face had been full of smiles. He had simply been utterly delighted. The sleeve fell away, and Shaoyin lifted her head. The light in Xiao Heng’s eyes was even brighter than she had imagined, sparkling like the radiance of stars. The flower seller, meanwhile, seemed to have been stunned. According to popular custom, men and women were not supposed to meet before their wedding. This flower seller had likely been setting up his stall for many years, yet had never seen an engaged couple go out strolling together on the night before their wedding. Though he did not understand, the flower seller had been in business for many years and knew better than anyone how to be tactful and flexible. After a moment of surprise, he once again plastered a smile across his face and cupped his hands toward the well-dressed young couple before him. “It’s not that this humble one’s eyes are poor, but that the two of you are truly well matched. You look just like an affectionate married couple. I thought you had already been married for several years.” As he spoke, the flower seller earnestly bowed to the young couple. “Since you two are getting married tomorrow, this humble one will offer his congratulations in advance. May you enjoy a hundred years of harmony, grow old together, and have a house full of children.” The flower seller’s flattery naturally won him a generous reward. When Shaoyin and Xiao Heng left the flower stall, Xiao Heng seemed to be in exceptionally high spirits. He kept casting his gaze toward the other stalls, as though he wanted to buy more things and scatter more rewards. It was almost as if he had not yet heard enough of the flower seller’s flattering words. When he noticed her looking at him, Xiao Heng directly voiced the thought in his heart with a smile. “How about we buy a hundred things here tonight? We can tell every stallholder that we’re getting married tomorrow and hear the flower seller’s words ninety-nine more times.” He continued, “Have you ever heard of a folk custom that says if a child receives a hundred auspicious blessings after being born, the child will grow up safe and healthy, with a smooth life free of illness and disaster?” “If we can receive a hundred auspicious blessings before our wedding, perhaps everything will go smoothly after we’re married tomorrow. Perhaps we’ll truly be like they said, harmonious for a hundred years and growing old together.” As he spoke, Xiao Heng urged her to buy something else. “There’s a stall selling hairpins over there. Come on, I’ll buy one and put it in your hair.” “…No,” Shaoyin said. “Wouldn’t a hundred things crush my head?” She looked toward the sweet-water stall on the other side. “I’m tired from walking. I want to sit down and rest.” Shaoyin walked over to the sweet-water stall, and Xiao Heng seemed to have no choice but to abandon his grand plan and follow her there. When the stallholder saw customers arriving, the older woman naturally hurried forward to greet them warmly. But she had barely addressed them as “Young sir” and “Madam” when the well-dressed, distinguished young man smiled and corrected her. “She and I aren’t married yet.” Under the young woman’s sidelong glance, the young man added with a smile, “We’re getting married tomorrow.” The stallholder was momentarily stunned, then hastily smiled and offered several words of congratulations. Afterward, she received a reward greater than what she could earn selling sweet soup for an entire month. The older woman accepted it with beaming delight and profuse thanks. She quickly brought out the best of her skills, using the finest ingredients at her stall to serve the two distinguished guests two bowls of sweet taro-stem soup. She also told them they could add more as they pleased afterward, naturally without charging them. For the older woman to have operated a sweet-water stall in such a bustling area for so many years, she of course had to possess some real skill. Her osmanthus taro-stem sweet soup had the delicate sweetness of golden osmanthus, the silky smoothness of lotus-root starch, soft and powdery taro stems, and the mellow, lingering sweetness of brown sugar. Each mouthful offered endless flavor, and it was well-regarded among the nearby residents. Everyone who had eaten it before praised it, but the two guests tonight were so finely dressed that they had likely experienced all kinds of delicacies. The older woman did not know whether they would even find it palatable. As she wiped down the table, the older woman kept glancing at the two distinguished guests. When she saw the young man take two mouthfuls of sweet soup and then smile as he told the young woman that he would bring their child here to eat in the future, she finally relaxed. She smiled, went to the side, and began counting her reward. “The sweet soup tastes wonderful,” Xiao Heng said. “It seems even better than what the cooks at my residence make.” “When we have a child, once the child is a little older, we’ll bring him or her here to eat sweet soup together. We’ll let him or her taste the flavors of the common people.” The sugary sweetness of the soup seemed to linger in the faintly curved corners of Xiao Heng’s lips. He smiled as he imagined the future, and even his imaginings seemed sweet. “When we have time in the future, we’ll often bring our child out for walks. We mustn’t let the child be like I was when I was little, always confined in a square room and bound by all kinds of rules—unable to do this or that.” “You don’t like the rules of the palace either, do you? If your Aunt hadn’t spoiled you in the palace before, I think all those countless palace rules would have given you a headache. You probably wouldn’t have wanted to enter the palace at all and would only have wanted to hide as far away from it as possible.” “It’s all right. From now on, I’ll spoil you in the palace. You don’t have to observe all those burdensome rules. Do whatever you want. Even if the sky falls, I’ll be here to hold it up for you.” “Our child can live a somewhat spoiled life too. If it’s a girl, I want her to be the happiest little girl in the world. If it’s a boy, then he can be willful only until he’s seven or eight. After that, he’ll have to rein himself in.” “When the time comes, I’ll teach him to read and study properly. I’ll personally teach him to ride and shoot. I’ll raise him into the finest man in Daqi—someone who can protect the realm, be filial to his mother, and love and care for his younger siblings.” Shaoyin stirred the sweet soup in her bowl as she listened to Xiao Heng ramble on without stopping. In his increasingly scattered fantasies, he had gone from discussing life after marriage to having and raising children, and then to how they would nurture the future Crown Prince. Did he not know that boy might be the one to bring about his death? Or was he simply that confident—confident that she could never make waves in his grasp, and that by using himself as bait, he would only make her ruin the rest of her life in his hands? Shaoyin said flatly, “Your Majesty is thinking too far ahead.” “I can’t help it. Once I start thinking, I think of so many things, as if I want to imagine this entire life all at once.” Xiao Heng lowered his gaze slightly. The osmanthus taro stems in his bowl gave off wisps of sweet fragrance. “No matter how much I imagine, it never feels like enough. There are so many things I want to do with you, and so many sights I want to see with you—not only to make up for all those years in the past, but also for the long life ahead of us.” The sweet soup in the bowl was stirred again and again, as if it had grown so thick that it could hardly be ladled up. Shaoyin’s wrist lifted slightly, then dropped again. The spoon struck the side of the bowl with a very crisp sound, like something that might shatter. She said, “I’m tired. I want to go back.” Unlike when they had come, they took a carriage on the way back. There were glazed lamps fixed to the carriage walls, but their wicks had not been lit. Shaoyin and Xiao Heng sat in almost complete darkness. From time to time, light from roadside lanterns seeped through the bamboo blinds in a few drifting wisps, flashing by like fireflies. The carriage rolled onward. As the night deepened, the voices along the road gradually thinned, and the laughter slowly faded. The murky darkness seemed to blur the passage of time. Shaoyin had no idea how long the carriage had been traveling. The carriage remained silent throughout the journey. Xiao Heng, who had talked so much that night, was very quiet as he sat facing her in the darkness. When she could see him clearly, Xiao Heng had seemed to have endless things to say. He had kept imagining their future after marriage, unable to stop, hope-filled smiles in every flicker of his brows and eyes. But when she could not see him at all, Xiao Heng fell silent, so silent that she could not guess what he was thinking or what expression he wore. She could only hear their breathing faintly mingling in the darkness. After an unknown amount of time, Shaoyin suddenly sensed Xiao Heng moving closer to her in the darkness, accompanied by the faint rustling of clothing. She held her body rigid and did not move. When Xiao Heng’s clothes lightly brushed against hers, the hand hanging at her side was gently taken by him. He merely felt his way through the darkness and lightly took one of her hands, holding it in his own. In the dark carriage, he silently held her hand for the entire journey. He did not say anything to her, nor did he continue talking animatedly to himself about those things. Xiao Heng’s silence was like a deep pool a foot beneath the surface, like a dried-up well—various fantasies forgotten by time in an unknown corner, perhaps destined to remain nothing more than desolate imaginings. He was only holding tightly to this moment in this one night. Only when the carriage arrived at the Xue family home and the servant lifted the curtain did Xiao Heng release her hand. The instant the light from outside shone in, Xiao Heng let go, as though the hand-holding that had lasted the entire journey had existed only as a dream in the darkness. When the light came in, the dream woke as well. Xiao Heng insisted on seeing her off. He was unwilling to stop even at the Xue family’s main gate, and stubbornly escorted her all the way back to Yurong Court. He stopped outside her room and watched her walk inside. When she turned around to close the door, he said, “See you tomorrow.” Shaoyin looked at Xiao Heng outside the door and suddenly smiled. “See you tomorrow.” Yet the instant she closed the door and walked into the room, she pulled the apricot blossom from her hair and threw it at her feet. Author’s Note: None Close