Chapter 41

Chapter 41: She Had Yet to Say Goodbye to Hel— She still did not ask those questions at that moment. A deep, desolate sorrow slowly seeped into Shaoyin’s heart like lake water. She merely said softly, “Aunt, rest and recover properly. Your injuries are very serious…” But even though Xue Jingrong was in so much pain that she could not straighten up, she still gripped her niece’s hand tightly with one hand, refusing to let her leave. She asked anxiously, “What happened? Did Xiao Heng become suspicious of something?” Then she hurriedly continued, “Mrs. Shen tried to murder you but ended up ensnaring herself. While she was doing your makeup, she secretly placed an ornament laced with poison on you. She intended to frame you afterward, but while she was off guard, your aunt made her ingest the poison she had prepared herself. She brought it upon herself and deserved to die. Could Xiao Heng really fail to see through this and still suspect you?!” “You must not let Xiao Heng’s suspicions run wild. Instead, use this matter to turn Xiao Heng and Xiao Yu against each other, make Xiao Heng grow deeply suspicious of the various princes, and have him eliminate them,” Xue Jingrong instructed. “That way, after a young ruler is enthroned in the future, there will be no chance of the various princes usurping the throne.” Shaoyin said, “…Aunt, you needn’t think about this anymore. I think there will be no child between Xiao Heng and me.” Xue Jingrong’s expression changed dramatically. “What exactly happened? Aren’t you already the Empress?” She was worried that Xiao Heng had discovered the intentions she and Shaoyin shared. Yet she herself was still lying here perfectly well, and Shaoyin was also unharmed; nor did things seem to have reached that point. Thus, she was utterly bewildered. “If something has happened, tell your aunt. Your aunt will teach you what to do. Your aunt will help you.” Xue Jingrong gripped her niece’s hand even more tightly in her urgency. “You can tell your aunt anything. Hurry up and tell me!” Her tight grip felt like tangled vines, dragging and constricting Shaoyin, forcing her to remain forever sunk in the abyss of schemes, hatred, and ambition. Looking at the urgency in her aunt’s eyes, Shaoyin finally asked, “…That year, at the Qiuyuan Hunting Grounds, were you… there as well?” The hand with which her aunt had been gripping hers suddenly loosened slightly. Shaoyin’s heart sank along with it, sinking all the way to the deepest depths of a frigid, lightless lake. Xiao Heng had merely offered her one possibility. He had told her that, after he left that year, an attendant had seen the Empress walking toward General Xue. Perhaps Xiao Heng had lied to her. Perhaps that attendant’s testimony had also been false. Yet her aunt’s reaction at that moment seemed to corroborate the attendant’s testimony. No one knew what her aunt had said to her father back then. Perhaps they had merely exchanged a few ordinary family remarks, and her father’s illness had had nothing to do with her aunt. Even now, Shaoyin would rather believe that. But her aunt’s hand gradually turned cold. She released Shaoyin’s hand, and the look she gave her was filled with suspicious, icy wariness. “Who told you this… Xiao Heng?” Her aunt said, “Don’t let him deceive you… Didn’t your aunt tell you before that Xiao Heng is unfathomably deep-minded? Even when he was a child, he managed to deceive your aunt for several years?!” Shaoyin said nothing more. She merely lowered her eyes and said, “Imperial physicians and palace attendants will come to care for your food, drink, and medicine. I’m tired. I want to go back and rest for a while. Aunt, you should rest well.” After a slight pause, she added, “Your injuries really are very serious. Don’t think about anything else. Rest and recover properly—that must come first. Rest well… and you’ll recover sooner.” She said she was going back to rest, but after walking out of Chongqing Palace, she seemed unable to take another step. The sorrow and exhaustion filling her heart felt as though they would drown her. She bent down and sat on the steps, burying her head in her arms. On this single day, Shaoyin had learned too many things. It was as though heaven and earth had been overturned, and so many things she had believed, so many things she had assumed to be true, had all been torn to pieces. Such as the cause of Xiao Heng’s birth mother’s death. And such as Mrs. Shen, the most virtuous and benevolent Noble Consort of the late emperor’s reign. It turned out that she had long ago wanted to pave a smooth road to the Eastern Palace for her own son. To that end, she had needed to find a way to eliminate the Xue family’s Great General while leaving as few traces as possible and avoiding implicating herself. Although her schemes had failed in the past, the Noble Consort Dowager’s ambition had never faded. Later, she had made use of Jiang Ningyan, deliberately provoking Jiang Ningyan’s murderous intent toward her, while secretly switching the poisoned wine. She had truly intended to poison Xiao Heng, eliminate the Jiang family and the Xue family for allegedly poisoning His Majesty, and ultimately place her own son on the throne. Or perhaps, rather than wanting her beloved son Xiao Yu to become Emperor, it was the Noble Consort Dowager herself who wanted to become the Emperor’s mother—to become the Empress Dowager of the dynasty, the most honored woman beneath Heaven. For the position she had once failed to obtain, she had desperately sacrificed everything. But when the flames of desire had burned to their end, all that remained was a pool of blood. Death could take nothing away, yet whatever one had possessed while alive could no longer be held in one’s hands. Shaoyin felt terribly, terribly tired. She could not help thinking of Helan, thinking of those simple days in Shuobei. There had been no schemes or hatred, no ambition or calculations. With every sunrise and sunset, the only thing she had was the company of the person she loved. She suddenly wanted very much to return to Shuobei for a look. She felt that she had never properly said goodbye to Helan. She had left Shuobei so hurriedly, claiming that she was obeying Helan’s final wish. Yet it seemed that she herself had simply been unable to accept the fact that Helan was gone. She had never truly said goodbye to Helan—not even in her heart. Footsteps gradually approached. Shaoyin knew who it was, but she had no strength to lift her head and look. From the corner of her lowered eyes, she could see Xiao Heng’s figure. The moonlight was still, the wind faint. Weary and heavy within her arms, Shaoyin slowly closed her eyes. In the end, Shaoyin did learn what had passed between her aunt and her father that day at the Qiuyuan Hunting Grounds. On this day, the Deposed Empress Xue, who had pretended to be insane for five or six years, was clear-minded even in front of ordinary palace attendants. Her aunt had ordered them to summon her, and had summoned Xiao Heng to Chongqing Palace as well. Yet she treated Xiao Heng as though he were invisible. Her aunt merely took Shaoyin’s hand and gazed intently at her face, saying that she wanted to comb her long hair as she had in the past. Just as before, her aunt, who had never had children, had cherished her own niece beyond measure. Whenever Shaoyin entered the palace and stayed with her, her aunt would personally comb her hair every morning, despite being the Empress, treating Shaoyin like her own daughter. As she slowly combed Shaoyin’s hair, her aunt gazed at the two of them in the mirror and sighed, saying that Ayin had grown so big. Her aunt must truly be getting old. “But your aunt refuses to admit she’s old, and refuses to admit defeat. Perhaps I was simply born with this temperament. Your father didn’t like me this way. He didn’t like how I would use anything at all to achieve my goals.” “That day, at the Qiuyuan Hunting Grounds, I saw that your father and Xiao Heng did not seem to have spoken pleasantly. After Xiao Heng left, I went to your father’s side and asked him what he and Xiao Heng had been talking about.” “I advised your father not to be angry and told him my plan. I told him that Xiao Heng was merely a stepping stone in my plan. All I needed was for Ayin and Xiao Heng to give birth to an imperial grandson. All I needed was that child bearing the bloodline of the Xue family.” “But after hearing my plan, your father became extremely angry. Even when I repeatedly told him that you would become the Crown Princess, the Empress, and the future Empress Dowager of Daqi, your father was still furious.” “He said that all he wanted was for you to live happily. He said that I was treating you as nothing more than a tool for achieving my goals. We quarreled. I told him that the Xue family had to follow my arrangements, and that Ayin had to walk the path I had laid out for her, because… because the Xue family had no other way out. Because back then, I was the one who poisoned Xiao Heng’s birth mother to death.” “Your father immediately fell silent. The flames of rage in his eyes refused to fade, yet his face had turned ashen.” “I never expected your father to oppose me so strongly. I was angry that day as well. I wanted us to calm down, so I walked away. I never expected that your father might already have been poisoned. I never expected that he would suffer an attack of his illness that day…” “Your aunt… can be considered half the enemy who killed your father…” Her aunt cupped Shaoyin’s face in her hands and looked at her as she asked, “Ayin, do you hate your aunt?” Although she had already sensed the truth, hearing her aunt say these things herself still caused Shaoyin unbearable pain. She could not utter a single word. She watched as her aunt’s gaze trembled while looking at her. After a moment, her aunt suddenly smiled and said, “Your aunt does hate you a little. I hate how soft-hearted you are. Why can’t you be more like your aunt? Otherwise… otherwise, things would never have reached this point. If you had listened to your aunt sooner, perhaps the great matter would already have been settled. Why would things have come to this? Why?” “It’s all because you refused to listen to your aunt!” Her aunt’s expression suddenly turned fierce. She seized a hairpin beside her—the long silver hairpin she had removed from Shaoyin’s hair earlier when she said she wanted to comb it. “Watch out!” Xiao Heng lunged forward urgently and gripped Shaoyin’s shoulders tightly, about to shield her behind him. But Shaoyin knew that there was no way her aunt could hurt her. She struggled free of Xiao Heng and desperately threw herself toward her aunt, yet she was still too late. She could only watch helplessly as her aunt drove the long hairpin into her own throat. Author’s Note: The main story is nearing its end. After it concludes, there will be two series of extra chapters: one covering the past between the female protagonist and her late husband Helan, and another continuing from the main story’s ending timeline, covering some events between the female protagonist and Xiao Heng, their child, and what happens afterward. All of that will be written in the extras.