Chapter 43

Chapter 43: Regarding Helan The wind was growing fiercer. It seemed the snow outside was falling harder and harder. Even with a brazier burning warm coals inside the bridal chamber, Shaoyin’s hands, resting on her knees, were still so cold that they had no warmth at all. Perhaps it was because the weather was simply too cold. Lizhou was very close to Shuobei, and Shuobei was the coldest place under heaven, covered in ice and snow for half of every year. Or perhaps her heart was too burdened. She was worried about Aunt, imprisoned in Chongqing Palace; worried about her Older Brother, Sister-in-law, and the rest of her family in the capital; worried that His Majesty would break his promise and still order Aunt’s death while holding the Xue family accountable. Or perhaps, at this moment, she was merely afraid of what lay before her—afraid of the bridal night that was about to begin. From childhood, she had always believed that she would one day become Crown Prince Cousin’s bride. As for marriage, she had expected nothing but happiness and shyness. How could she ever have imagined feeling fear? Yet who could have imagined that her life would ultimately come to this: marrying a man who was a complete stranger and leaving her homeland forever? The snow whispered against the window, while the howling wind carried faint sounds of wedding toasts from the distant hall. The officials stationed in Lizhou were following Daqi’s wedding customs, offering wine and congratulations to tonight’s groom—Heir Prince Helan of Shuobei. The singing that followed was likely coming from the people of Shuobei. Shaoyin could not understand the Shuobei language or what they were singing about. But she imagined they were offering congratulations as well, celebrating their Heir Prince’s auspicious wedding. The wedding was festive and lively, but reality was as cold as the snow that night. This was merely a political marriage alliance brought about by the flames of war. It represented nothing but the alliance of two nations’ interests, with no love involved whatsoever. Perhaps the absence of love was not a bad thing for her. Shaoyin thought of how much she had once given Xiao Heng, how many unrealistic fantasies she had harbored about love and marriage. She had loved him passionately for so many years, only to receive endless disappointment and heartache in return. Perhaps a completely loveless political marriage was more suitable for her. Moreover, this marriage could preserve her family and relatives. With the red bridal veil hanging over her head, Shaoyin could see only the small patch of ground revealed when she lowered her eyes. She could hear only the sound of the door opening, followed by the female official stationed in the room greeting the newcomer, inviting him to the bedside, and guiding them through the wedding rites. Shaoyin heard the sound of boots approaching. Though a faint scent of wine drifted toward her, the footsteps were steady. It seemed that Heir Prince Helan was not drunk. The space beside her sank slightly as Heir Prince Helan, guided by the female official, sat down beside her. “Heir Prince, please lift the bridal veil.” The female official’s smiling voice sounded beside them. Shaoyin could not help tightening her clasped hands. When the veil was lifted, her gaze rose slightly of its own accord, falling upon Heir Prince Helan opposite her. His expression was gentle and composed, just as it had been earlier that day when he had watched her argue with Xiao Heng—calm and mild. This should have been the first time she and Heir Prince Helan had seen each other. Yet during the wedding ceremony that afternoon, she had already lifted the veil herself and met him. That day, Shaoyin had been escorted into the ceremonial hall by her attendants with the veil covering her face, there to perform the wedding rites with Heir Prince Helan. But just as she and Heir Prince Helan were bowing to each other as husband and wife, Xiao Heng, who should have been far away in Hanzhou, suddenly arrived. All the Daqi officials and attendants present hurried to kneel and salute Xiao Heng. Xiao Heng ordered everyone to withdraw, then spoke to Heir Prince Helan as if he had gone mad, saying that she was unworthy of representing Daqi in a marriage alliance with Shuobei. Xiao Heng’s words were especially vicious. All the things she had once done out of love for him became, in his mouth, evidence that she was frivolous in her conduct and unfit to be a wife. Xiao Heng seemed determined to ruin the wedding that day and take her away from Lizhou. But to her, the marriage alliance behind this wedding was like the last straw keeping her alive. So she had panicked. She tore off the veil and confronted Xiao Heng face-to-face, refuting everything he had said point by point. Then she turned to Heir Prince Helan and did everything she could to distance herself from her past with Xiao Heng, desperately defending her own reputation. Shaoyin imagined that her expression at the time must have been almost ferocious, nothing like the dignified and graceful bride she should have been. Yet Heir Prince Helan’s reaction had been remarkably calm. He had simply watched in silence as she confronted Xiao Heng and quietly listened to the two of them argue. When she begged him to continue and complete the unfinished wedding rites, Heir Prince Helan had nodded and agreed. He bent down, picked up the bridal veil from the floor, dusted it off, covered her face with it again, and completed the wedding ceremony with her. And now, Heir Prince Helan had lifted that same veil from her face once more. In truth, she had already seen him during the chaos that afternoon and knew what he looked like. But at the time, her heart had been filled with anxiety and panic. How could she have had the mind to look at him carefully or give him much thought? Only now could she truly take him in. When she had been in the capital, Shaoyin had seen some Shuobei people from afar. They had been burly and rough, with high cheekbones and flat faces. Their thick, pitch-black brows and eyes had carried all the harsh ferocity of a land of bitter cold. Heir Prince Helan was also from Shuobei, with the high nose and deep-set eyes characteristic of its people. Yet there was none of that fierce, murderous air between his brows and eyes. When he smiled faintly, his bearing was exceedingly gentle. The lamplight beside the bed was reflected in his eyes, as though stars had fallen into water. After the female official presiding over the wedding rites recited several words of blessing, she and the attendants brought over two cups of warmed wine and asked the couple to drink the nuptial wine together, completing the wedding rites. Shaoyin and Heir Prince Helan each took a cup and crossed their arms to drink it all. Once the attendants had collected the cups, they and the female official recited several more auspicious phrases about flowers blooming and the moon being full. Then they bowed and withdrew, closing the door behind them. Only the crackling of the burning coals remained inside the bridal chamber. Outside, the northern wind keened, and fine snow whispered against the window, as though it would never stop for the entire night. Amid the silence, Shaoyin said softly, “It is late, Heir Prince. You should retire.” That afternoon, she had told Heir Prince Helan that there was no longer any place for Xiao Heng in her heart, and that she would never again behave as frivolously or improperly as she had in the past. From then on, she would be a gentle, quiet, and virtuous wife whose heart held only her husband, Muyan Helan. She had to do as she had promised. It had been Heir Prince Helan’s generosity and magnanimity that afternoon. He could easily have done as Xiao Heng suggested and exchanged her for another bride for the marriage alliance. It would have had no effect whatsoever on the alliance between the two nations. It was she and the Xue family who absolutely could not afford to lose this opportunity. Though her heart was afraid, Shaoyin maintained a calm expression as she reached toward Heir Prince Helan’s collar. She wanted to help her husband undress and serve him on their bridal night as a gentle and quiet wife should. But just as she was about to undo his clothing, her husband, Muyan Helan, gently pushed her hand away. “There is no need for that,” her husband said. “We both know why this marriage came about. Since neither of us had a choice in the matter, why force ourselves to do something else against our will?” Shaoyin had not expected to hear such words. She had not expected the bridal night she feared to end with her and Heir Prince Helan sleeping fully clothed, each on their own side. Heir Prince Helan said that it would be inconvenient for him to leave that night. If he did, and the Daqi officials saw him, they might mistakenly believe that he was dissatisfied with the marriage alliance, or that some change had occurred in the alliance between the two nations. That could stir up trouble that should never have arisen. Thus, he could only spend the night sharing the bed with her. Heir Prince Helan even asked whether she wanted to place a bowl of clear water between them on the bed. With a smile, Heir Prince Helan said, “I once heard a story from my Han Chinese tutor about a man and woman who shared a bed and placed a bowl of clear water between them. The woman, whose surname was Liang, had disguised herself as a man to study and had become classmates with a scholar surnamed Zhu…” Shaoyin could not help interrupting him. “No, the woman’s surname was Zhu, and the man’s was Liang.” “Is that so? I was still a child when my tutor told me the story, and it has been so long that I no longer remember clearly,” Heir Prince Helan said. “Why don’t you tell it to me again?” So Shaoyin slowly told Heir Prince Helan the story of Liang and Zhu from beginning to end. As she spoke, she suddenly realized that Heir Prince Helan might not actually have forgotten the story. Meanwhile, as she recounted it, her own state of mind had unconsciously relaxed. Lying on the same bed as a strange man would naturally make anyone uneasy, even if nothing happened. At last, Shaoyin reached the end of the story: Zhu Yingtai leaped into Liang Shanbo’s grave, and the two of them were ultimately transformed into butterflies, fluttering through the air together, never to be parted again. Fine snow tapped against the window, whispering like butterflies gently beating their wings. Beside her, amid the sound of the snow, Heir Prince Helan said softly, “If I were Liang Shanbo, I would rather Zhu Yingtai live a good life.” Author’s Note: First, I’ll write about some events from Shuobei’s past. Then I’ll write about the female protagonist returning from Shuobei after resolving the knot in her heart, as well as some events between her and the male protagonist and matters concerning the children. I will not have the female protagonist enter into a relationship with the male protagonist while believing that he is her enemy. In her state of mind, that would mean she was forced to submit to her enemy, forced to have relations with him and bear his children. That would be too cruel to her. If the male protagonist chose to exploit her desire for revenge in order to trap her and obtain her, she would not truly change her view of him. It is precisely because the male protagonist made a different choice at the end of the main story that the female protagonist came to genuinely change her view of him. Because of that, and because she learned the truth about everything that had happened in the past and resolved the grievances in her heart, there could finally be some possibility between her and the male protagonist. It was not until the chapter in which the main story concluded that there was any possibility between them at all. Before that, there was absolutely none. Previously, no matter what the male protagonist did, nothing could get through to her. In the end, although the female protagonist temporarily left, she left behind a crack.