Chapter 47

Chapter 47: About Helan It seemed that a warm, dry hand was wiping away the hot sweat that had seeped across her face during her nightmare. The owner of that hand had sturdy arms and a warm embrace. He held her tightly against him, soothing her again and again, rescuing her from that terrible nightmare. Shaoyin’s mind was muddled. She did not know whether she was dreaming or awake, nor whether she had entered yet another dream. Another warm, reassuring dream. It was as though the arms of the person in her dream were a warm and sturdy harbor, where raging winds and storms could not reach her. She could sleep peacefully there, without worrying about anything or thinking about anything. In her dream, she seemed to clutch tightly at the man’s lapels, nestling deeply against him. Like a solitary boat drifting without anchor, she could finally berth here in peace. When Shaoyin awoke the next morning, the bedding and pillow beside her were already empty. Usually, whenever Heir Prince Helan rose in the morning, she would already be awake as well. Yet this morning, she had slept unusually late. She did not know whether it was because of the nightmare she had suffered the night before. She truly had dreamed a nightmare last night. After waking, Shaoyin could feel traces of sweat on her body. She must have been drenched in hot sweat sometime in the middle of the night because of that nightmare. But what had happened after the nightmare… had that also been a dream… or had it really happened? Shaoyin’s gaze fell upon the empty bedding beside her. She sat dazedly on the couch for a long while. After getting out of bed, washing up, and eating a little breakfast, she attended to some of the duties expected of an Heir Princess. According to her usual routine, Shaoyin should then have summoned her female tutor and studied the Shuobei language with the female official. But because of what had happened after the nightmare, her mind remained unsettled, and she could not calm herself enough to study. She kept wondering whether she had dreamed another dream, or whether what had happened afterward had actually taken place last night… Shaoyin could not figure it out. The more she thought about it, the more confused she became, until even the inside of the tent felt unbearably stuffy. She decided to go out for some air and take a walk. Before long, however, she found herself near the Great Khan’s Tent. At this time every day, Heir Prince Helan should have been in the Great Khan’s Tent, discussing Shuobei’s affairs with his father and several Shuobei princes and ministers. It seemed she wanted to see Heir Prince Helan, which was why she had unconsciously walked here. She could not simply barge in. Shaoyin stood nearby for a while, intending to return quietly, but just as she was about to leave, she encountered one of the Great Khan of Shuobei’s Secondary Khatuns. The Secondary Khatun had a forthright temperament. Through her maidservant’s translation, she asked whether Shaoyin had come to look for the Heir Prince. Without waiting for her answer, she took Shaoyin by the hand and said she would take her to him. Thus, she led Shaoyin into a tent. It turned out that Heir Prince Helan was not discussing state affairs at that moment. Instead, he was sitting with his grandmother and several female elders, drinking tea. The atmosphere inside the tent was very harmonious. It seemed that after discussing affairs with his father, Heir Prince Helan had gone to pay his respects to his grandmother, only to be kept by her for tea and some idle family conversation with everyone. Shaoyin first saluted the Dowager Khatun of the Late Khan, who was seated in the place of honor. She then walked toward her husband, but when she saw her husband’s face clearly, her steps halted in astonishment. There was a conspicuous scratch from a fingernail across her husband’s cheek—and she always kept her nails long. It must have been that, while trapped in her nightmare last night, she had unconsciously thrashed about and accidentally scratched Heir Prince Helan’s cheek. Last night… What had happened afterward really had been a dream… While she was having the nightmare, Heir Prince Helan had held her in his arms and comforted her. Not only had she clung tightly to him, she had even scratched his cheek… Shaoyin felt her cheeks secretly begin to burn. Just as she was silently overcome with embarrassment, the Secondary Khatun said something with a laugh, prompting all the women in the tent to burst into laughter. Shaoyin did not know exactly what the Secondary Khatun had said. She only knew that the woman had mentioned her and Heir Prince Helan in her words. Shaoyin stared blankly at Heir Prince Helan. She had expected him to translate and explain it for her immediately, as he usually did. Yet when Heir Prince Helan’s eyes met hers, he seemed to shift his gaze away unnaturally. As he did so, there also seemed to be a trace of laughter in his eyes. On the way back, Heir Prince Helan still did not explain the remark to her. Shaoyin grew even more puzzled. The uncertainty made her uneasy, and she was determined to find out exactly what the woman had said. Although she did not understand the words, Shaoyin remembered precisely how the Secondary Khatun had pronounced them. After returning to the Heir Prince’s Tent, she washed her hands at the dressing table while imitating the woman’s pronunciation, then repeated the words to the maidservant and asked her to translate. But after hearing them, the maidservant seemed troubled. She did not translate immediately, instead glancing toward Heir Prince Helan, who was reading nearby, as though unsure whether she should tell Shaoyin what the words meant. Life in Shuobei had been so peaceful that Shaoyin’s former spoiled nature occasionally revealed itself without her realizing it. When she saw that Heir Prince Helan seemed about to discreetly shake his head at the maidservant, Shaoyin could not help widening her eyes and glaring at him. Seeing her glare, Heir Prince Helan ducked his head behind his book again and continued reading in silence. Shaoyin realized that her behavior was improper and hurriedly tried to restore her gentle and virtuous expression. But the maidservant, seeing that the Heir Prince had already yielded to the Heir Princess’s imposing presence, could only steel herself and translate the words haltingly. “The Secondary Khatun… the Secondary Khatun said that although the Heir Princess looks delicate and dainty in front of others and does not speak much, she… she seems to have quite a wild temperament in bed at night. Otherwise, the Heir Prince’s face would not have been scratched open by the Heir Princess.” Shaoyin’s face instantly turned bright red. She deeply regretted insisting that the maidservant translate those words. Her cheeks burned as if they were on fire. Sitting before the mirror, she felt as though her entire body were aflame, so mortified that she did not know what to do. Then, through the mirror, she suddenly caught sight of Heir Prince Helan behind her. He seemed to be quietly laughing. Although the book concealed his face, the slight upward curve of his lips was still visible to Shaoyin in the mirror. In that moment, Shaoyin actually wanted to stride over, snatch the book from Heir Prince Helan’s hands, and glare angrily at him. The thought gave her such a fright that the heat of her embarrassment seemed to recede all at once, replaced by profound surprise and confusion. If Heir Prince Helan had been a close relative, or the Crown Prince Cousin of her past, then when placed in such an embarrassing situation, she might indeed have acted that way out of shame and irritation. But… but Heir Prince Helan was neither her close kin nor the young man she had once loved so devotedly. How could she have such an offensive thought toward him? Was it because Heir Prince Helan treated her with such indulgence that she had grown increasingly presumptuous, allowing the spoiled nature she had once possessed to emerge from time to time? Shaoyin could not help recalling what had happened the night before. She had been so presumptuous then—scratching Heir Prince Helan’s cheek because of her nightmare and clinging tightly to him. But… but Heir Prince Helan had not pushed her away. The gentle words of comfort he had spoken again and again in the dream must have been real… Shaoyin’s thoughts instantly became a complete mess. She lowered her eyes, unable even to look at Heir Prince Helan through the mirror, as if doing so would only make her more confused. She sat silently before the mirror for a while, then rose and walked inward. She did not even know what she intended to do. It was as if she merely wanted to be alone and quietly sort through her thoughts. She went to the couch at the very back of the tent and sat down. Even behind the layers of curtains, however, she could not think in peace. Her thoughts remained tangled like a bundle of frayed silk. She did not know how long she had been sitting there when she heard Heir Prince Helan approach. Heir Prince Helan did not lift the curtains. His footsteps stopped outside the tent, and he seemed to hesitate in concern. Heir Prince Helan apparently still thought that she was deeply embarrassed and upset by the Secondary Khatun’s words, so much so that she refused to show herself. From outside the tent, Heir Prince Helan said gently, “Shuobei’s customs are different from those of the Central Plains. When it comes to matters of etiquette, we do not place as much emphasis on subtlety as the Central Plains do, and people tend to speak more freely as well. You need not take it to heart.” The turmoil in Shaoyin’s heart twisted softly, as though a thousand strands were tangled together within it. She remained silent for a long while. When she finally spoke, however, she did not continue discussing that remark. Instead, she asked softly, “…Did I speak in my sleep last night?” During her nightmare, she had called out “Xiao Heng” again and again. She did not know whether she had actually cried out his name while asleep. Although she and Heir Prince Helan were only husband and wife in name, it was still improper for a wife to lie beside her husband in the middle of the night and call out another man’s name. What was more, Heir Prince Helan knew all about her past with Xiao Heng. At the wedding in Lizhou, Xiao Heng had said far, far too much.