Chapter 186

Chapter 186 "I know—you're worried that I'll take all the blame for Ping'an's suicide onto myself, aren't you? That I'll live every day consumed by guilt?" Xie Run said softly, "A little, yes." "You persuaded her one moment, and she took her own life the next. What others think or say is secondary." "What I fear most is you trapping yourself in your own thoughts." That was why Xie Run had come—to gauge Prince Jing's intentions, and also out of fear that Concubine Lu might not be able to let it go and would sink into despair from now on. Concubine Lu gave a bitter smile. "You don't understand, Mistress Xie... People like us—small figures who've crawled through the bottom rungs for over a decade—might have a shred or two of kindness, but at heart we're the most selfish." "I grieve for her, but I grieve for myself even more. How could I let Ping'an drag me into a lifetime of despair?" Concubine Lu said frankly, "Ping'an wouldn't have sought death over a word or two from me. She died for Concubine An!" "If she'd truly listened to me, she would have kept living, searching for a way out. Her seeking death... it breaks my heart, and I hate her for her foolish loyalty." "Even if it truly were my fault, I'd convince myself it wasn't, and live my days well from here on..." Xie Run listened and said, "The way you think—it's actually not a bad thing." The tears Concubine Lu had held back for so long suddenly burst forth. She covered her face and wept. "Sometimes I hate myself for being so useless." "If I'm going to be selfish, I should be selfish to the end. But I still ache for her—thinking of our sisterhood over the years, how she looked after me in so many ways... Now she's died so miserably, without even a single person to collect her body, and I can't find peace in my heart!" Concubine Lu sobbed and pounded the bed. "Why was she so stubborn?!" "Concubine An wasn't worth it!" "Just because Concubine An gave her three taels of silver to treat her father's illness, she sold her entire life for it?!" "For those three taels of silver, she endured humiliation and abuse for the first half of her life, and now even in death she's tainted and has nowhere to be buried... Was your life really worth so little?!" "No matter how great the debt, after all these years of enduring shame and suffering alongside Concubine An, she should have paid it off long ago!" Concubine Lu couldn't understand it! Nor could she accept it! Xie Run sighed and looked at her for a long while before saying to the two maidservants, "Take good care of your mistress." "If she needs anything, just send someone to Spring Mountain Court to ask." Cuiniao said nervously, "Mistress Xie, please don't worry about our mistress. She's just like this." "Crying it out now is actually a good thing." "Once she's vented the anger in her heart, she'll be fine by tomorrow—she might even come to your courtyard to beg for tea." Concubine Lu, who was sobbing her heart out: "..." Leaving Clear Breeze Court, Xie Run's mood was heavy as well. Her chest felt tight and oppressed, as if something were weighing on it. When Taotao was harmed, she'd been angry too, had wanted revenge, and had gritted her teeth to see the true culprit found. But now, as the investigation dragged on, one life after another was being added to the toll, and still the real culprit remained unfound. Yuezhi's death—she felt no regret for it. But Ping'an's death... weighed heavily on her heart. Who in the entire Prince Jing's residence didn't know Ping'an was innocent?! Yet the evidence landed on her. She couldn't explain it, couldn't defend herself, and carried no weight—so she had to die! No, perhaps she could have lingered a while longer. But to avoid implicating Concubine An, and to prove her own innocence, Ping'an had ended her life early. Xie Run knew exactly who the real culprit was, but without evidence, she couldn't punish them. She could only watch Ping'an die unjustly. Back in her courtyard, Xie Run was silent for a long time. Since she'd become Side Consort, Spring Mountain Court had expanded outward continuously, even incorporating the former Clear Bamboo Court where Consort Li had once lived, tearing it down to build into her own grounds. Everyone who passed by looked on with envy. Now her courtyard had plum groves, bamboo forests, rockeries, and flower gardens... beauty and architecture at every turn. She seemed to be draped in favor and honor—but if one day she found herself in a situation like Ping'an's, unable to defend herself no matter what she said, would Prince Jing trust her? At that moment, Xie Run shuddered. She felt as though she were walking barefoot across a frozen peak, every step fraught with trepidation, as if treading on the edge of an abyss. She wouldn't harm others, but she absolutely couldn't sit idle and wait for harm to come to her. Wan Linlang and Fang Yuan'er... she couldn't let the two of them walk away from all of this clean and untouched. The next day, Xie Run woke later than usual, listlessly letting her maidservants attend to her washing and dressing. Suddenly, a maid braved the wind and snow into the corridor, her face grim. "Mistress... the Fourth Young Master is gone." Xie Run's hand suddenly lost its strength, and the jade hairpin she was holding clattered to the floor. Xiaoshu quickly crouched down to pick up the jade hairpin, wiping it a few times. "Thank goodness there's a carpet on the floor—the hairpin isn't damaged, and there's no mark on it either." This jade hairpin was precious; dropping it would have been a heartache! Xie Run closed her eyes heavily. When she opened them again, her melancholy was swept away, replaced by a cold sharpness in her gaze. "Say what you just said again." The young maid said nervously, "Concubine An's courtyard sent word to the Principal Consort's court early this morning that the Fourth Young Master had a high fever that wouldn't break." "Nanny Li deliberated for a long time, then submitted a request to the palace for an imperial physician. But before the physician could even reach the residence, the Fourth Young Master had already stopped breathing." Xie Run took a deep breath. "The Prince and Princess Consort have entered the palace today. They likely won't be back for some time." "Side Consort Fang in the residence has been placed under House Arrest..." As a Side Consort of Prince Jing's household, Xie Run couldn't very well play dumb and hide away in her courtyard at a time like this. Xie Run asked, "And what of Concubine An?" The young maid replied, "I heard Concubine An seems to have gone mad. She's clutching Fourth Young Master's body and won't let go, crying and laughing at the same time, muttering all sorts of nonsense..." Xie Run immediately rose, pushing aside Dantao's hand. "No need for makeup. Have Chunjuan arrange the servants. We're going directly to Concubine An's courtyard." Dantao was always cautious, and now she said uneasily, "Mistress, if you go to see Concubine An now, might you not invite trouble?" Xie Run said calmly, "It's precisely by not going that I'd invite trouble!" No matter what image she projected before Prince Jing, she had to go handle this matter now! To Prince Jing, if I've been invested as your Side Consort, and yet when my son lay dying of illness, you cowered in your courtyard pretending ignorance—that would be a grave offense! No matter how important a woman is, she can never be more important than one's offspring. Xie Run hurried to Concubine An's courtyard and, without a word, ordered people to separate the deranged Concubine An from Fourth Young Master's lifeless body. Dantao had to admonish quite a few maidservants before she could speak quietly beside Xie Run. "This courtyard was originally managed by Ping'an." "After Ping'an was taken to the dungeon, Concubine An's weak temperament couldn't keep the servants in line. The subordinates stopped following orders, and chaos broke out... Now, investigating the matter of Fourth Young Master won't be easy." "Easy or not, it must be investigated!" Xie Run said to Xiaoshu. "Have all the maidservants and old nurses in this courtyard stay obediently in their rooms and go nowhere." "Wait until the Prince and Princess Consort return, then question them one by one!" "If anyone seems suspicious, tie them up and bring them here for questioning directly—no need for idle talk!"