Chapter 1

Chapter 1: I Choose the Devoted Second Male Lead (Revised) The carriage jolted violently. Shi Sui’s head lolled to one side and slammed straight into the carriage wall. She opened her eyes groggily and raised a hand to cover the forehead she had just struck, still somewhat dazed. A guard outside shouted and pushed the curtain open with one hand. His face was covered in sweat, with blotches of blood beneath his cheek. He anxiously yelled at the Young Commandery Princess^[1], who had been sleeping inside the carriage, “Young Commandery Princess, be careful!” The clanging of weapons rang out incessantly from outside. The shouts of the two opposing groups carried into the carriage. Shi Sui frowned, rubbing her bleary eyes. It took her quite a while to figure out what was happening. The guard waited anxiously outside the carriage, occasionally blocking the long swords of the men in black. The two sides were locked in combat, with blood and flesh flying everywhere. A thick, bloody stench spread through the entire grove, and droplets of blood dyed the green grass by the roadside red. Shi Sui frowned slightly, finding the smell almost unbearable. Shi Sui: Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing? I only took a nap. What part of the plot is this supposed to be??? Perhaps because she was too bewildered, the young man sitting beside her raised a hand and gently tugged at her sleeve, like a lost little beast seeking affection. His face was innocent and youthful, and he called out in a crisp voice, “Sister^[2]?” The youth was slender and fairly tall, about half a head taller than her. His features were so beautiful that they almost obscured his gender. Since people in ancient times generally wore their hair long, Shi Sui had initially mistaken him for a pretty young girl. His eyes were dark and bright, while his curled, upturned eyelashes resembled a tiny brush. He was exceptionally beautiful. Shi Sui was still wearing a voluminous, gorgeous red bridal gown, which made it rather difficult to move. With complicated feelings, she looked at the youth in front of her and patted him on the shoulder in reassurance. “It’s fine, it’s fine. Stay calm.” Shi Sui was clearly comforting the youth, yet she was also taking deep breaths and repeatedly psyching herself up. She removed the bulky outer layer of her bridal gown and took off the elaborate jewelry around her wrists. She immediately felt much lighter. Several guards surrounded and protected the carriage, and there were not many men in black. For the moment, they were safe. By her calculations, she had actually been in this world for a month already. Shi Sui had started reading this novel because its female protagonist shared her name. She never expected that after dying, she would open her eyes again and find that her soul had transmigrated^[3] straight into the book. A month ago—well… more precisely, thirty days and eight hours ago, at the very moment Shi Sui transmigrated into the novel—she experienced a remarkable way to die: “dying of her own stupidity.” Ever since she could remember, her shameless parents had told her that their family was poor. Very, very, very poor. Therefore, they had to be frugal, eating steamed buns, salted vegetables, and watery porridge every day. Shi Sui had happily accepted this setting and settled into a life of poverty. Then, on an ordinary day when she was eating a hard steamed bun as she had for the past ten years, her father suddenly called her and said— They were done pretending. He was coming clean. Their family was actually very wealthy. They had pretended to be poor in order to cultivate Shi Sui’s spirit of frugality and hard work. Now that she was an adult, there was no reason to keep it from her anymore. After taking a moment to process the enormous news of her sudden wealth, Shi Sui experienced the first glorious moment of her life. After more than a decade of poverty, she had suddenly discovered that she was a millionaire. Overcome with joy, Shi Sui suffered a tragic reversal of fortune. She failed to swallow a bite of steamed bun and choked to death. Fortunately, she didn’t remember it hurting much. It was over quickly. She had simply died. She had become rich overnight, failed to enjoy even half a minute of her good fortune, and died on the spot—of all things, by choking to death. What an aggravating way to go. If she had been given a choice, Shi Sui would rather have eaten a chicken leg for her final meal. At least prisoners in ancient times were given a sumptuous meal before being executed. Thus, Shi Sui’s first thought after transmigrating into this novel was that she had to enjoy herself. In her previous life, she had worked diligently and struggled hard, only to end up choking to death. In this life, no matter what, she was going to be a salted fish^[4] who ate her fill and waited to die. She would do whatever made her comfortable. Although she had read the book a long time ago, Shi Sui could still roughly remember how far the plot had progressed. The current situation was— The female protagonist had married the second male lead, only to be intercepted on the way by the male lead in a clichéd bride-snatching scene^[5], after which the male lead would rescue her. So Shi Sui only needed to glance outside to guess that the men in black were probably people sent by Mu He, the male lead, to steal the bride. Shi Sui thought these people were idiots. They were wearing night clothes in broad daylight. Had they come here to serve as living targets? With a whoosh, something flashed past. An arrow pierced through the shoulder of one of the men in black. Blood poured continuously from the wound, and his dark clothing grew even darker. See? Just as she’d said, they really had come to serve as targets. Shi Sui felt that these people might as well have carved the words “I’m here to cause trouble” and “Make way, I’m with the protagonist, so I can’t lose” onto their foreheads. After a quick glance, she had a general idea of what the male lead’s intelligence was like. Thinking about it now, this novel had probably become notorious back then precisely because people had lambasted its melodramatic, completely illogical plot. The protagonists were all hopelessly love-struck, had no sense of right or wrong, and knew only how to fall in love. Shi Sui had found reading it exhausting. The only thing that kept her going had been the novel’s second male lead. A deranged little black flower^[6] . Just thinking about him was thrilling. “Sister?” The youth beside her called out again, pulling her thoughts back. Shi Sui had picked up this youth on a whim. He looked about sixteen or seventeen. When the carriage had passed by just now, she had seen him being bullied and looking pitiful. She had been unable to bear it, and besides, this wedding was practically a little farce as far as she was concerned. As it happened, the youth also wanted to go to the capital. Following her principle of “one good deed a day—Amitabha Buddha^[7],” Shi Sui had casually pulled him into the carriage, intending to let him off once they reached a safe place in the capital. Shi Sui comforted him again. “Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid.” After all, she was the female protagonist. Her plot armor was unbreakable. As long as he stayed with her, he certainly wouldn’t suffer. At that moment, a man shouted loudly from outside the carriage. He was wearing armor, and new wounds overlapped old ones across his body, making him look especially terrifying. While blocking the arrows flying in from outside, he yelled, “Commandery Princess!” Shi Sui lifted the curtain and glanced outside. She immediately knew that the newcomer was the male lead, Mu He. Blades and swords had no eyes, and the smell of blood was extremely strong. The death-sworn guards^[8] Mu He had brought had not struck to kill, so there had been few deaths. As expected of the male lead, he landed lightly on the ground without a single injury on his body and dealt with the guards before him with ease. His entire person seemed to have several huge words written all over him: Everyone, move aside. I’m about to show off. When Mu He saw Shi Sui poke her head out, his eyes lit up. He shouted, “Commandery Princess! Come out quickly!” Shi Sui: “…” What a joke. If she went out now, wouldn’t she just become a target? In short, after reading the entire novel without ever developing any feelings for the male lead, Mu He, Shi Sui had already given up on the hope that she might eventually fall in love with him. What male-lead aura? Bullshit. It did nothing for her. But just as she thought that, a sharp arrow whistled through the air and shot straight in through the carriage window. Shi Sui had no time to dodge, but the youth beside her reacted swiftly. He grabbed her sleeve and yanked her to the other side, allowing her to narrowly evade the arrow. Shi Sui couldn’t help feeling suspicious. She hadn’t expected this youth to have such good reflexes. Shi Sui removed the elaborate ornaments from her head, picked out several gold hairpins, and stuffed them into the youth’s hands. In a low voice, she said, “When you get the chance, run. These things are yours.” The youth lowered his gaze to the jewelry in his arms and froze slightly, looking puzzled. He tilted his head, his dark eyes fixed on Shi Sui. “Aren’t these part of your dowry^[9], Sister?” Shi Sui pointed calmly at the men in black outside—the scapegoats she had conveniently found. “Just say they stole them.” The youth let out a chuckle and said nothing more. Mu He was not far from Shi Sui, surrounded by a number of guards. He desperately blocked their attacks with his sword without striking at any vital points. When he saw Shi Sui emerge from the carriage, his eyes clearly lit up. “Commandery Princess! Don’t worry! I’ll definitely get you out of here today!” Shi Sui: Fine, thank you, I suppose. But maybe you should worry about yourself first. One of the classic clichés of melodramatic Mary Sue dramas^[10]—the protagonists’ plot armor never breaks. Watching the two groups battle, Shi Sui was so bored that she yawned. She casually plucked a small wildflower from the roadside that had not been splashed with blood. She kept the youth behind her to protect him, and he showed no intention of escaping. Arrows flew wildly outside the carriage, and before long, many of the guards had several conspicuous wounds. Yet no matter how many arrows flew, not one touched Shi Sui. Every single one skimmed past her by a millimeter or two. Shi Sui: As expected, once you run into a protagonist, even the most skilled archers become masters of outlining human silhouettes instead of hitting them. For some reason, whenever Shi Sui looked at these so-called expert archers, she always thought of scenes from Boonie Bears^[11] where Bald Qiang shot at Briar and Bramble. He truly was a paragon among masters of outlining human silhouettes. Shi Sui’s gaze fell on the little wildflower in her hand. With the female protagonist’s halo protecting her, the men in black could not hurt her for the time being. But now she was faced with a dilemma. Should she follow the original plot? The male lead was a typical good-for-nothing-turned-hero protagonist, and the script was an old-fashioned Mary Sue story. He was a down-and-out prince who had been living among the common people. If she followed him, she would have to accompany him as he rose again, deal with a whole group of vicious second, third, and fourth female leads, and endure heartbreak alongside him from the first chapter all the way to the second-to-last chapter. And the ending was even a freaking bad ending. The female protagonist died. At the end of the original novel, one of the female side characters framed the female protagonist, causing Mu He to misunderstand her all the way until the end. Only after the female protagonist died did he finally awaken to the truth. The person he had loved all along had actually been the female protagonist! Then he regretted everything too late, and the story ended in tragedy. But the second male lead was different. He was the legitimate Crown Prince^[12]. Aside from being a little deranged, there was nothing else wrong with him. Most importantly, he was the devoted second male lead! He loved only the female protagonist!!! When Shi Sui had read the novel, she had long wanted to complain. Why did the male lead torment her a thousand times, yet she still treated him like her first love? The second male lead treated her well in every possible way, yet she was completely blind to it. Shi Sui: Another day of crying for the devoted second male lead. Still, she had to go through the motions. Shi Sui rubbed the loose strands of hair over her forehead and began plucking the petals from the little wildflower. As she pulled off each petal, she muttered: “Choose the male lead…” “Choose the second male lead…” “Choose the male lead…” “Choose the second male lead…” … The archers in the grove continued firing arrows without pause. Blades flashed as everyone fought for their lives. Only Shi Sui sat on the carriage, utterly focused and serious as she plucked petals, as if she were not on a battlefield but sitting at a dining table, pondering which dish she should eat next. The youth was even more relaxed. He sat on the wooden platform outside the carriage with one leg bent, leaning lazily against the carriage as he watched Shi Sui pluck the petals. From time to time, he raised a hand to block an incoming arrow for her. He even caught some arrows and spun them around his fingertips as though they were pens, a smile still hanging on his face. Thanks to that group of dedicated masters of outlining human silhouettes, Shi Sui remained completely unharmed. She had not even lifted her head once, as if her entire body were covered with the words: “Fight all you want; what does it have to do with me?” and “The only thing in my eyes is this flower.” How should one put it? It was pure, unadulterated audacity. The guards: “…” How can you be this calm? The men in black: “…” Don’t we have any dignity? The male lead, Mu He: “…” He had no idea what to say. Just as Shi Sui plucked the final petal, she happened to say, “Male lead.” Shi Sui: … [The subway grandpa staring at his phone.jpg]^[13] Thus, Shi Sui calmly split the final petal in two. She tossed the half representing “male lead” onto the ground, then raised the half representing “second male lead” and finally revealed a satisfied smile. Shi Sui: See? This is heaven’s will. Shi Sui suddenly raised her eyes and discovered that the male lead, Mu He, had already broken through layer upon layer of obstacles and reached her. He gave her a “deeply affectionate” look. Shi Sui: Bro, could you rein in those overflowing emotions of yours? Behind the two of them, the two sides continued fighting fiercely, yet not a single person dared to step forward and interrupt the male and female leads’ exchange of feelings. The second classic cliché of melodramatic Mary Sue idol dramas—when the male and female leads meet and express their emotions, the cannon-fodder^[14] supporting characters stand rooted to the spot like idiots, refusing to launch another attack until the emotional scene is over. At present, the male lead Mu He did not yet know that he was a prince who had been living among the common people. He had been adopted by the female protagonist’s family and grown up alongside her, though up to this point, he still regarded her as a younger sister. The two of them had no other feelings for each other. He had bought off the death-sworn guards because he did not want this “younger sister” he had watched grow up to be forced to marry someone she did not love. According to the original plot, Shi Sui was the Young County Princess^[15] of Guyu County. Later, the second male lead decided to marry her because she was beautiful. Their social positions were mismatched, but the emperor doted greatly on this only son of his. That was why he elevated Shi Sui to the status of Young Commandery Princess. It was also at this point in the original novel that the female protagonist chose the male lead, making an enemy of the second male lead. After that came an endless stream of melodrama and suffering. Actually, this novel had no logic whatsoever. For instance, Shi Sui had always wanted to ask the male lead how he, a mere guard, had managed to buy off so many death-sworn guards. Don’t ask. If you did, the answer was simply the male lead’s aura. By now, the cannon-fodder characters had very considerately stopped fighting. Every one of them silently watched the touching scene between the male and female leads. Shi Sui: The pressure is immense. Bro, I know you’re the male lead, but could you please tone down that deeply affectionate gaze?