Chapter 5

Chapter 5 My Darlings, Do You Want Mommy to Hold You? Once everyone had left, Zhizhi felt as though all the strength had drained from her body. She didn’t even care whether the ground was dirty and simply sat down, panting heavily. Good heavens! With this frail body, she was really going to die! The little ones watching from inside saw her slump to the ground and rushed out in a panic. However, the girls stopped some distance away, not daring to come any closer. Her two-and-a-half-year-old youngest son, Xiaobao, toddled over and threw himself into her arms. “Mama… dear…” The little boy still couldn’t speak clearly, and his babbling was difficult to make out, but it was obvious that he was worried about his mother. Zhizhi’s heart softened at once. Dahua and the other girls looked at their mother holding their little brother, their eyes filled with envy—and a little fear. Especially Dahua. She wasn’t sure whether her mother really wouldn’t sell her. In the past, her mother had always been weak and had never dared refuse anything Grandmother said. She didn’t know what had happened today. Why had her mother suddenly become so brave that she even dared talk back to Grandfather? Zhizhi wasn’t made of stone. Seeing the children like this, she simply opened her arms toward them. “Come here. Let Mama hold you!” The five girls all froze, wondering if there was something wrong with their ears. As far back as they could remember, their mother had never held them. Their little brother, on the other hand, was treated like a treasure and held every day. They timidly remained where they were, afraid to approach. Zhizhi opened her arms even wider. “I just had a fight with those two old bastards, and I’m out of strength. I need your hugs to recharge me. Or are you girls rejecting your mother now?” She furrowed her brows and pretended to look sad. Wuhua was still little, and she and Xiaobao were twins. Ever since they were born, Dahua had been the one to raise them. Now that she had finally seen her mother being so gentle and even asking for hugs, she kicked her short legs and ran over on toddling feet, leaning against her mother’s shoulder. She was probably frightened and nervous, thinking that her mother would push her away as usual. But her mother didn’t push her away. Instead, she gently wrapped her arms around her. The warmth she had never felt before broke through the two-and-a-half-year-old’s defenses, and tears began streaming down her cheeks. She didn’t dare cry out loud. Her mother hated hearing children cry. Zhizhi felt the tiny, nearly skin-and-bones body trembling in her arms and knew that she was crying. “Baby, Mama was wrong. From now on, I’ll hold you every day, all right?” Her voice was exceptionally gentle. Even Zhizhi didn’t know when she had ever been this gentle before. She had been a wild child growing up. After entering the workforce, she hadn’t wanted to be bullied, so she had become something of a tomboy, speaking with a firmness that left no room for argument. Mama said she would hold Fifth Sister every day? The four other girls were stunned. They took a step forward, then stopped themselves, able only to watch enviously. Even if it was just for a little while… Zhizhi looked at the girls with a warm smile and opened her arms toward them again. “My darlings, do you want Mama to hold you?” How could she fail to see the longing in their eyes? A hug was the simplest thing in the world. It cost nothing, yet it could make the children feel happy. Why couldn’t she give them that? She might not yet be ready to be a mother, but… she could still grant them these small wishes. Perhaps sensing her kindness and sincerity, sensible Dahua’s eyes shone with a light they had never held before. Step by step, she walked toward her mother, as though she were walking toward happiness. When Erhua saw Eldest Sister walking toward their mother, she hurriedly took Sanhua and Sihua by the hands and walked over as well. It was like they were all rushing toward something. As long as they reached their mother, all the grievances of having been neglected and unloved seemed to no longer matter. Zhizhi felt as though her heart were stuffed with cotton, making it difficult to breathe. She gathered all the children into her arms. At this moment, there was no favoritism. No! She wanted to favor them—every single one of them. Who could blame her? She had come to this place, after all. Crying rang out beside her ears. Xiaobao seemed to understand that he was no longer the one being favored, but he didn’t make a fuss. Like a sensible child, he hugged his mother tightly together with his sisters. “Mama, Wuhua’s tummy is hungry!” Amid all the emotional sobbing, Wuhua’s crisp little voice stood out especially clearly. Compared with Xiaobao, who was the same age, Wuhua looked much smaller. She was so thin that she resembled a starving refugee, with a head that seemed especially large. Zhizhi couldn’t bear to look at her. Still, Wuhua had learned to speak much earlier than Xiaobao, and she could express herself clearly. Zhizhi gently tapped the tip of Wuhua’s nose. “You little glutton!” Her voice was so gentle that the girls were completely captivated. They loved this kind of mother! If this was a dream, they hoped they would never wake up. “Be good, all of you! I’ll go make something for you right away!” Zhizhi released the children. With Dahua’s help from her small body, she struggled mightily to get back on her feet. The five girls were reluctant to leave their mother’s embrace, but they knew they couldn’t be greedy. When Sanhua tried to step forward to help, Dahua stopped her with a look. Sanhua lowered her head sadly and moved to the side. Zhizhi held six hundred copper coins and two jin of coarse rice. As she opened the door, she said to Dahua, “Dahua, close the main gate.” One kick would be enough to knock the gate down, but having it closed still gave her a little sense of security. Dahua obediently ran over and shut the gate. Only then did Zhizhi feel at ease enough to go to the kitchen. The kitchen was immediately inside the entrance. Her room was on the right, while another room on the left belonged to her daughters. It really was exactly as she remembered. There wasn’t even a single grain of rice in the kitchen, only a few dried vegetable leaves of unknown origin, all of them scorched yellow. They were probably wild greens the children had dug up from the fields or the foot of the mountain. They had been unwilling to eat them. Zhizhi felt a pang in her heart. She had no position to criticize the original owner, considering that she was occupying this body now. But… as a mother, the original owner truly didn’t deserve the title. The children looked as though they hadn’t eaten their fill in several days. They had to be fed properly today. To keep the children from becoming suspicious, she returned to her own room. There was a cabinet in the room. Back when there had been grain in the house, most of it had been kept locked inside. She unlocked it with the key, but it was empty as well. Zhizhi took two jin of rice from her spatial pocket and put it into the empty sack. She also took three potatoes, a head of Chinese cabbage, and ten eggs from the refrigerator. When she carried everything back to the kitchen, she discovered that there was barely any water left in the water jar. The rivers had dried up during this period, and the village was relying on the well at the village head’s house. But with so many households in the village, how could that little bit of water possibly be enough? Besides, the water level in the well had been dropping every day. Before the original owner fell unconscious, the well had already reached the bottom. It was entirely possible that there was no water left by now. The little water remaining in the jar looked filthy too. She might as well take some from her spatial pocket! The children were still young. She could always come up with an explanation. She didn’t dare take too much and only brought out enough water to cook one meal. The children stood in a row by the drafty window, peeking inside with their little heads poking out. After preparing the rice, Zhizhi was stumped. She seemed to have no idea how to start a fire. In the end, Erhua came in to help tend the fire. “Wow, Eldest Sister! Mama’s making food for us!” six-year-old Sihua said, drooling. Dahua sighed without saying anything. Although their mother had held them just now, she only loved their little brother. With such a small amount of rice, how could their mother possibly share it with them? But she couldn’t bear to disappoint her younger sisters, so she said nothing.