Chapter 5

Chapter 5 A Startling Dream in the Pear Garden (4): When It Comes to Sharp Tongues and Having No Bottom Line, Guan… Guan Zhi’s face was pressed tightly against the cold mirror, making him shiver faintly as several muffled protests escaped his throat. Di Gui released the hand covering his mouth and instead planted both hands on the edge of the vanity. His arms were like iron hoops, trapping Guan Zhi completely in the narrow space between himself and the mirror. He did not look at Guan Zhi directly. Through the clear silvered glass, he fixed his dark, menacing gaze on those panic-stricken eyes reflected in the mirror. Guan Zhi tried to turn his head away, but he could not help meeting Di Gui’s deep, unfathomable eyes in the reflection. There was nowhere to hide, nowhere to escape. The mirror clearly reflected their intertwined figures. The long gown Guan Zhi wore was dark purple, made of expensive satin covered in intricate, subdued patterns. The pocket-watch chain hanging from the front of the gown was unusually stylish, and even every button had been crafted with exquisite care. While everyone else was dressed properly and conventionally, Guan Zhi alone always managed to turn that conformity into a carefully designed yet utterly natural allure. Di Gui was far taller than him. They had measured him before—he was a full one meter ninety-two. His build was broad and upright, and with Guan Zhi enclosed in his arms now, he could almost wrap Guan Zhi’s entire body up completely. Suppressing the stir in his heart, Guan Zhi pulled out a provocative smile, the corners of his lips curving seductively. “Aren’t you the one who thinks my throat is ruined? Thinks my voice is unbearable? There’s always someone who won’t mind it… What if I take everything off and sing for him alone?” Di Gui’s gaze instantly darkened until it seemed capable of dripping with water. His voice was forced out through clenched teeth. “Guan Zhi, do you really have to provoke me?” Guan Zhi said, “ex-husband, you’re overthinking it.” Di Gui stared at Guan Zhi’s beautiful face. Suddenly, he tugged at the corner of his mouth, revealing a cold smile. “Fine. Sing.” “Sing now. Sing for me alone.” Before Guan Zhi could react to this abrupt change in attitude, Di Gui suddenly turned him around. Supporting his buttocks with one hand, he lifted him effortlessly and placed him on the vanity, which was covered with bottles and jars. Di Gui’s fingertips casually brushed through some open, brilliant-red greasepaint beside him. Without giving Guan Zhi a chance to refuse, he smeared it across Guan Zhi’s soft lips, then swept upward and pressed a heavy stroke of rich red onto each of his pale outer eye corners. Guan Zhi’s skin was fair, making the sudden red stand out starkly against it while lending him a breathtakingly vivid beauty. Di Gui casually picked up a fine eyebrow brush. With his other hand, he firmly yet gently lifted Guan Zhi’s chin, forcing him to tilt his face upward. The cool tip of the brush touched his skin. The gesture carried a condescending scrutiny, along with a trace of openly surging desire. The System in Guan Zhi’s mind asked at an appropriately timed moment, “Host, is this part of the predetermined plot?” Guan Zhi blinked and vaguely replied in his mind, “I…I don’t know.” The System soon fell silent, as though it had been forcibly blocked. That was because the System had a function called Host Privacy Protection. That bastard Di Gui had already started stripping off the costly dark-purple gown Guan Zhi was wearing. Then, with only a few movements, he had stripped him completely. There was no other explanation. He was simply very experienced. After all, Di Gui had torn off countless of Guan Zhi’s openwork outfits in the past. Guan Zhi said, “Weren’t we supposed to properly carry out our missions? Weren’t we not supposed to mess around?” Di Gui took Guan Zhi’s hand and guided it over his taut abdominal muscles and chest. Guan Zhi said, “…Quietly mess around.” Outside the door were the footsteps of opera-troupe members who had yet to disperse completely, the clanging sounds of props being put away, and faint voices drifting through the air. “…I heard the Young Master of the Di family was furious because of Boss Guan…” “Keep your voice down…” Every sound was like a whip lashing across the tense nerves inside the room. Yet this extreme danger instead catalyzed an even more extreme excitement. They collapsed among the trunks piled nearby, all of them stuffed with embroidered opera costumes. The splendid robes prepared for emperors and generals, talented scholars and beautiful ladies became a curtain shielding their secret affair. Golden python embroidery dug into their skin, while cold jeweled headdresses contrasted sharply with their feverish body heat. “Shh…” Di Gui panted a warning into Guan Zhi’s ear, because the person beneath him was almost unable to stop himself from “singing” aloud under the force of his movements. Guan Zhi tilted his head back and stared at the dim yellow lightbulb on the ceiling as it shattered into countless spots of light. He bit down hard on his lower lip, swallowing every sound into his throat. At that moment, a knock suddenly sounded from outside the door! “Boss Guan? Are you still inside? Why is it locked…?” It was the troupe manager’s voice. Every movement in the room stopped instantly. Di Gui’s body tensed like a leopard, his sharp gaze sweeping toward the door. Guan Zhi’s heartbeat pounded like a drum. He drew a deep breath and tried to make his voice sound calm, even carrying a trace of irritation at being disturbed. “I’m here, I’m here. I’m changing makeup. Don’t bother me!” The manager answered softly, “Yes,” and the footsteps gradually moved away, finally disappearing at the end of the corridor. Silence once again enveloped the room, heavier and more oppressive than before. Then that silence was torn apart by a more violent, more soundless storm. It was as if everything that had been forcibly interrupted just now, along with all the dangerous emotions suppressed for so long beneath the appearance of calm, had been ignited at once and erupted completely, leaving no room for restraint. When everything finally settled, all that remained in the air was the tangled, uneven sound of breathing that had yet to calm. Guan Zhi was limp with exhaustion, his clothes disheveled as he leaned against Di Gui’s sweat-damp chest. His wet bangs clung to his cheeks, and his fingers weakly and unconsciously toyed with the loosened edge of Di Gui’s shirt. Di Gui’s chin pressed heavily against the top of his head. His arm still held him with an inescapable force, tightly circled around Guan Zhi’s waist and brimming with possessiveness. The dim light illuminated their entangled figures. One was disheveled, his leftover makeup a smeared mess of rouge and greasepaint. The other was untidily dressed, his shirt collar hanging wide open and revealing bite marks along his collarbone. Di Gui said nothing. He merely tapped a White Golden Dragon cigarette out of the pack, filter first, and held it to Guan Zhi’s lips. Guan Zhi lazily lifted his eyes and, without much hesitation, closed his lips around it. With a snap, Di Gui lit his silver lighter. Blue flames sprang up, first igniting the cigarette between his own lips. Then he leaned closer, lowering his head slightly, and aligned his burning cigarette with Guan Zhi’s. Using that tiny ember, he lit the cigarette between Guan Zhi’s lips. Guan Zhi took a drag. The sharp smoke rolled down his throat, and he narrowed his eyes. His voice was languid and hoarse. “So this is what they mean by ‘one cigarette is better than being a living immortal’?” Di Gui gave a low “Mm” through his nose. Amid the swirling smoke, Guan Zhi turned his head and cast him a sidelong glance with eyes still full of allure. The corner of his lips curled up, his tone carrying a hint of teasing provocation. “Master Di, was my performance tonight satisfying?” “Not bad.” Di Gui raised an eyebrow and gave him a wicked smile. As he spoke, he pulled several brand-new bills from the inner pocket of his suit. Without changing expression, he casually slapped them against Guan Zhi’s flushed, sweat-damp cheek. The edge of the bills even scraped his skin. “Your tip.” Guan Zhi looked at the bills and silently cursed, “Fuck.” That animal Di Gui was truly damn good at playing these humiliating games. Guan Zhi pushed Di Gui away and braced himself on his weakened legs as he stood. He frantically grabbed the clothes scattered across the floor and pulled them on. Several buttons had popped off his shirt. Guan Zhi looked down at them and complained irritably, “Whoever became your wife would have to be cursed for eight lifetimes. You can’t even find a single intact piece of clothing when you leave the house. Your filthy hands have ruined every last one.” Di Gui leisurely fastened his belt. Hearing this, he lifted his eyes and swept Guan Zhi a glance. “Those things you used to wear—showing your legs, your back, your waist—you call those good clothes? Even after assembling all that fabric, they still couldn’t cover your ass.” Guan Zhi shot back, “What I wear is none of your business. If you wanted to marry a respectable man wrapped up from head to toe, did you even have the good fortune for that?” Di Gui did not answer. Instead, he reached out and pressed down on the hand Guan Zhi was about to use to fasten his trousers, stopping him. “Don’t put them on yet.” His expression grew more serious. “My next System mission is to completely sever ties with Song Qing, so from here on, you need to follow my arrangements…” After what they had learned in the previous world, they truly could not afford to act recklessly. The two of them lowered their voices and discussed things for a while, leaning against the disordered vanity. Guan Zhi nodded as he listened. At long last, he was given permission to get himself properly dressed instead of remaining naked. But he was utterly impressed by Di Gui’s mind. How could he have come up with such a two-birds-with-one-stone plan—one that made it convenient for the two of them to fool around in private while also advancing the mission plot in a perfectly logical manner? “How do you have so many tricks?” Di Gui snorted. “Otherwise, how do you think your father built his empire? If our family had to rely on you, we’d be drinking the northwest wind.” Guan Zhi could not be bothered to argue with him. He had just pulled up his trousers when he felt that something was wrong. Something was flowing downward. His expression changed, and he cursed under his breath, “Couldn’t you at least buy a condom?” In this era, they were called Kang Le Bags, a transliteration of the English word “condom.” They were also called kidney garments, along with some even more straightforward names. Di Gui said, “The material is too thick. It doesn’t feel comfortable.” Who would have thought this lunatic had actually researched it? Guan Zhi even suspected that after he died, Di Gui had probably said goodbye to his sex life altogether. He gritted his teeth. “If you ever come back to life, you’ll be reborn as a pure sex demon!” Di Gui was straightening his cuffs. Upon hearing this, he did not even raise his head. His tone was calm, but the content was utterly shocking. “That’s right. Back when I went to your grave to see you, I couldn’t hold myself back after looking at your photograph. I masturbated, but I got so worked up that I keeled over. So you have to take responsibility.” Guan Zhi’s hand froze on his belt. He raised his head, his expression blank for a moment, genuinely stunned. Only after a long while did he force several words through his clenched teeth. “…You bastard!” When it came to having a filthy mouth and absolutely no bottom line, Guan Zhi truly could only bow before his ex-husband. He had lost utterly and completely, with no argument left. Author’s Note: ex-husband’s mouth is genuinely filthy, but he’s still quite loyal to his wife. Their divorce was purely because they couldn’t adapt to each other. After traveling through several worlds, they somehow managed to work things out. Hopefully, he won’t be bent.