Chapter 20: I Look Down on You
“Fine.”
Liu Fuying felt no panic; instead, she smiled radiantly.
“Life in the Shen Family wasn’t as good as I imagined anyway. Leaving is fine—there’s nothing or no one here I’m attached to. It’s just a pity that Old Madam will have to suffer another blow.”
The latter part of her words seemed to strike Shen Xiunian’s weak spot.
His anger instantly dissipated, unable to imagine how his mother would react if she fell ill again.
Another blow of separation and loss would worsen her inner demons; this time, it might even endanger her life.
His mother had mistaken Liu Fuying for Xu Liangyin from years ago, firmly believing in her identity. He absolutely could not let his mother watch the Xu Liangyin in her heart disappear and leave again.
Yet Liu Fuying’s threat displeased him equally.
“Do you think you’ll live a carefree life once you leave the Shen residence?”
A discarded wife driven out—what kind of carefree life could she possibly have?
Liu Fuying still showed no fear on her face. She slowly turned her head and replied with a smile, “Where is there truly carefree living? Everyone in this world endures bitterness tinged with hardship. True freedom is probably nothing more than the saying ‘die early, be reborn early.’ Perhaps only in death can one ascend to paradise.”
Her gaze swept intentionally or unintentionally over the pillow where Shen Xiunian slept.
Sure enough, she faintly saw that wooden tablet again.
A living person unwanted, yet clinging to a cold, lifeless tablet to sleep—how deeply affectionate.
That was the tablet of his beloved.
Liu Fuying still remembered the first time she entered his room. She had accidentally seen the tablet by his pillow and was consequently scolded harshly, as if her presence had insulted that tablet.
Since then, she had never come here again.
Before she could take a closer look, Shen Xiunian’s icy warning gaze drifted over.
She averted her eyes and asked again, “What about tonight?”
At this question, Shen Xiunian fell silent once more.
“If she finds out I returned to my room and didn’t stay here, your mother will surely cause more scenes tomorrow and the day after.”
Might as well act out the play to avoid repeated troubles.
Sharing a room didn’t mean sharing a bed; he could hold his precious tablet by himself.
A long time passed, yet Shen Xiunian remained silent.
After his anger subsided, he seemed to revert to his taciturn, indifferent self, unwilling to engage with her.
When Liu Fuying turned to look again, there was no one by the bed. Even the bed curtains on both sides had been drawn down, completely concealing the inside.
Liu Fuying smiled until her eyelids twitched, feeling as if she had witnessed something extraordinary.
Though smiling, Liu Fuying felt a chill rising from the soles of her feet, a nauseating cold creeping upward.
Shen Xiunian hadn’t told her to leave; perhaps he agreed with her earlier words.
As for how she would sleep tonight or where—what did it matter to him?
Liu Fuying took a deep breath and strode out, leaving the inside to Shen Xiunian and his precious tablet. She had no intention of intruding.
She sat on the armchair outside for the entire night.
The next morning, she woke with a start, her neck, back, and waist aching unbearably, her complexion pallid.
Slowly rising, she realized her legs were somewhat numb.
Coincidentally, Shen Xiunian also emerged from the inner chamber. His eyes briefly swept over her before turning away as if he had merely glanced at empty air.
Someone called to him from beyond the threshold—a subordinate with urgent matters to report.
He strode away, walking out of the courtyard with that person.
Leaning against the doorframe, Liu Fuying saw Jin Li walking over, passing by him.
“Madam, let me help you.”
As Jin Li approached, she immediately offered a hand.
Staying in that courtyard for even a moment longer made Liu Fuying feel suffocated. She didn’t linger, and after calming herself slightly, she left.
Returning to Shuxing Courtyard, she had someone prepare bathwater early in the morning.
Though she didn’t feel dirty from soaking in the mountain spring, spending a night in Shen Xiunian’s room left her feeling uncomfortable all over.
To put it in a chilling way, she felt the room was icy cold, filled with an aura of death.
It was as if she had spent the night in a coffin—utterly eerie.
After her Purification Bath, before she could even finish dressing, the door to the bathhouse was suddenly kicked open with a loud bang, startling Jin Li badly.
“G-General, this is our Madam…”
“Liu Fuying!”
It was Shen Xiunian who arrived, his face filled with rage and murderous intent, as if he wanted to skin Liu Fuying alive.
Liu Fuying remembered the last time he was this angry—it was when she went to his room and saw the memorial tablet on the bed.
Today, what madness was he on about again?
Hadn’t he tacitly agreed to her staying in his room yesterday?
“General, General, what are you doing, you…”
Jin Li was terrified by his ferocious demeanor and tightly shielded Liu Fuying, only to be met with Shen Xiunian’s furious roar.
“Get out—!”
The roar was deafening, a clear sign of how enraged Shen Xiunian was.
Liu Fuying patted Jin Li’s shoulder, signaling her to step aside.
Her clothes were still not properly worn, her outer robe hanging loosely, and the belt around her waist not yet fastened. Yet Shen Xiunian showed no regard for her dignity or modesty. His frosty eyes were filled with heartless cruelty, as if he wouldn’t hesitate to strip her naked and throw her into the streets right then and there.
Liu Fuying slowly tightened her robe and met Shen Xiunian’s gaze, feeling utterly fed up.
“Speak plainly, General. What do you mean?”
“Still pretending?” Shen Xiunian’s eyes seemed to shoot nails, as if he wanted to pin her to the wall alive. “There’s no one else in my room to attend to it. Only you’ve been there. If it wasn’t you, then who?”
“Shen Xiunian…”
“Liu Fuying, I’ve warned you before not to touch Susu’s memorial tablet, or I won’t let you off easily.”
Liu Fuying finally understood but couldn’t be bothered to argue with him.
“Instead of wasting time venting your anger, General, you should go back and search more carefully.” She tightened her robe and moved to step past him, intending to leave.
Unexpectedly, Shen Xiunian grabbed her.
If not for Jin Li’s quick reflexes, she would have been thrown to the ground.
Barely steadying herself, her hair came loose, and her already disheveled clothes became even more disordered. The awkwardness of being flung aside only deepened Shen Xiunian’s contempt.
“Stop putting on an act for me!”
Shen Xiunian’s fury was at its peak, and his words grew increasingly harsh.
“Who knows if it’s because the man you’re seeing outside is useless and can’t get you pregnant, so you’ve set your sights on me. Last night, perhaps you used my mother as a pretext, but it was actually your own scheme.”
Counting the days, it had been nearly two months since she first went to Changmingguan.
If it really happened every time… then she should have been pregnant by now.
So, Shen Xiunian jumped to that conclusion.
Liu Fuying’s expression turned cold. In the past, nothing Shen Xiunian did had ever affected her—whether it was his indifference or anything else, she didn’t care, and it couldn’t stir her emotions.
But today, Shen Xiunian’s words evoked disgust in her for the first time.
“Shen Xiunian, I look down on you.”
No matter how disgusted she felt, her expression remained cold. The insult in her words made Shen Xiunian frown.
“What did you say?” he asked in shock.
“I said, I look down on you. For the sake of a woman, you disregard the mother who gave birth to and raised you, leaving her in the care of a stranger. A man with no backbone like you—I look down on you.”
“You…”
“Do you think I married into this Shen Family because I was interested in you? There are plenty of men in this world. Even if I were desperate, I wouldn’t crave your body, Shen Xiunian. Save your unnecessary self-importance.”
“Fine, fine!”
Shen Xiunian grew even angrier, his face more frightening than before.