Chapter 42: Losing Control

Liu Fuying’s small hand reached out, slipping into his embrace.

The waist and abdomen of a martial artist were exceptionally firm, each defined abdominal muscle burning hot against her palm.

Downward.

Sliding inside.

But at that moment, Pei Zhouwu jolted awake as if from a dream, pulling back and seizing her wandering hand.

With his retreat, the bellyband in front of Liu Fuying completely slipped into the water.

This time, Pei Zhouwu did not avoid it.

Perhaps extreme shock had clouded his mind, making him forget to react.

Liu Fuying’s form, exposed under the moonlight and glistening with water droplets…

“You…” Liu Fuying took a step closer, looking at him timidly as she asked, “You don’t want me?”

Pei Zhouwu’s long lashes fluttered, his breathing rapid as he pulled her into his arms.

“We cannot,” he said with a deep breath.

This embrace held no desire, only heartfelt pity and tenderness.

“A Ying, we cannot,” he held her gently, his voice soft and tinged with regret and apology. “Such matters cannot be taken lightly. We are not husband and wife. I was already deeply inappropriate just now. What I did was disrespectful and demeaning to you. I’m sorry, A Ying, I’m sorry.”

He berated himself for losing his senses, nearly failing to restrain himself moments ago.

But Liu Fuying was filled with frustration.

So this was the trouble with a gentleman?

How… how could he hold back?

His body’s reaction had been so unmistakably obvious!

Pei Zhouwu retrieved the bellyband floating on the water’s surface, averted his gaze as he helped Liu Fuying put it back on, carefully tying the upper and lower straps. Then, bending down, he scooped her up in his arms.

Her pale legs were visible beneath the water, but he neither deliberately avoided looking nor stared.

Compared to what he had just witnessed… this was nothing.

Once they reached the shore, he gently set her down, waited for her to steady herself, then turned to fetch her clean change of clothes and handed them to her from behind.

Liu Fuying, feeling vexed, silently took the clothes.

She had promised Old Madam Shen she would return in a month. She didn’t have the luxury of time to waste with him.

After removing all her wet clothes and changing into the clean ones, she strode forward.

Earlier, she had claimed her foot was sprained and painful, so she had to keep up the act. But her determined, limping gait made Pei Zhouwu think she was angry.

He worried she believed he had rejected her because he looked down on her.

“A Ying.”

Pei Zhouwu caught up to her, but she brushed away his attempt to support her.

“I’m sorry, I actually…”

“It’s fine, no need to explain,” Liu Fuying replied without turning back.

Pei Zhouwu became even more certain she was upset. He reached out again to take the wet clothes she was holding, but she avoided him.

“I’ll rest for a while and wash the clothes when my foot feels better. You don’t need to worry about it.”

She walked quickly, and Pei Zhouwu feared she might stumble.

With a few quick strides, he caught up, bent down, and lifted her into his arms.

“You don’t need to worry. Since you…”

“I knew you would misunderstand again,” Pei Zhouwu held her tightly, rendering her struggles futile. “You are an innocent young woman. If you were to… with me in this desolate wilderness, what would that make you? What would I be treating you as? And what would I become?”

“Fine, it was my frivolity, my lack of self-respect.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Pei Zhouwu paused.

Gazing into the tear-filled eyes in his arms, he sighed and softened his tone.

“A Ying, you didn’t do it on purpose. It was that snake that startled you, leading to what happened. Why must you speak of yourself that way? If there is any fault, it is mine. I failed to restrain myself. I am the one to blame.”

“…”

Liu Fuying fell silent.

He truly was… a man of upright character.

If one day he discovered that all of this was actually a scheme she had devised, she wondered how he would react.

Entering the room, Pei Zhouwu set her down on the bed.

Immediately, he took the clothes from her hands.

“Rest now. I’ll go wash your clothes. I’ll stay in the front room tonight.” As he left with the washbasin, he closed the door behind her.

Meaning, after washing the clothes, he would go directly to the front room and not enter this room again.

Liu Fuying sat quietly for a long time, troubled about the next step.

Perhaps there was no other way. Since he could not break free from the shackles of propriety, then marriage was the only option.

Marry as soon as possible, settle matters quickly.

…

By the pond.

Pei Zhouwu stood before the water’s surface, his reflection showing a face filled with complex emotions.

What had just happened replayed in his mind over and over, every moment and breath. The more he reminded himself not to think about it, the deeper the thoughts became.

Did he truly not want her?

How could he not want her?

It was just that without proper standing or justification, it would be too unfair to her. She was someone he cherished deeply, held close to his heart, and he could not bear to hurt her.

With this thought, he was about to crouch down…

Out of the corner of his eye, he inadvertently caught sight of another snake crawling across the sandy shore.

He felt puzzled. What was going on today?

In the past, even if there were snakes, they wouldn’t appear so suddenly, two in a row. If it went toward the bedroom, wouldn’t it startle her again?

Though puzzled, he did not dwell on it deeply.

He simply considered it a coincidence. Perhaps such situations had occurred before, but since he usually stayed indoors or sat on the stone bench in the courtyard, snakes, being afraid of people, would not dare approach, so he had never noticed them.

He picked up a stone and threw it at the snake, not too hard nor too light, just enough to scare it away.

The weather was growing hotter, and more snakes and insects were becoming active at night. From now on, he would have to be even more careful, making sure not to let Yueying get hurt.

…

Late at night, when all was quiet, Liu Fuying lay in bed, still unable to sleep.

Since sleep eluded her, she decided to get up.

She quietly slipped out the door and stealthily made her way toward the front room. This was her first time heading in that direction.

Peeking out for a long while, she saw several tents standing beyond the distant fence and faintly made out the figures of those keeping watch. Fortunately, the door of the front room did not face the fence directly. The side door was also shielded by bamboo trees. Liu Fuying opened the door and slipped inside.

There were no lights in the room, but the moonlight was bright, streaming through the window and allowing her to see the general layout.

The main room was divided into two spaces, left and right. The left side was indeed the kitchen stove.

The partitioned space on the right resembled a small study. Though simple, it had brushes, ink, paper, and inkstones arranged on the table.

Further inside, there was a narrow bamboo couch, barely wide enough for half a person to lie on their side.

Pei Zhouwu was sleeping on it.

Such a small bamboo couch didn’t even allow him to turn over. It must have been quite difficult for him.

Liu Fuying tiptoed closer and crouched down in front of the couch. It was dark inside, so she couldn’t see Pei Zhouwu’s face clearly, but she could hear his steady breathing.

She crouched there, hugging her knees, for a long time, wondering when she would truly get her wish.

“Haven’t you looked enough?” Pei Zhouwu suddenly spoke.

Though startled, Liu Fuying had already guessed that he wasn’t truly asleep.

A man of such upright character, having previously been involved in such an incident with her, how could he possibly sleep soundly? Even she, with her ill intentions, couldn’t fall asleep.

“It’s so dark in here, I can’t see a thing.”

Pei Zhouwu remained in his side-lying position, eyes still tightly shut.

“With so many guards outside, aren’t you afraid?” he asked, as if trying to frighten her.

Liu Fuying didn’t answer, instead responding with something unrelated: “I’ve heard some rumors about you before. They say you keep your distance from women, that even if a woman undressed and lay in your bed, you wouldn’t be moved. They say…”

“They say you’re… incapable.”

“Is that true?”