Chapter 4

“Little girl,” Fan Changyu said with a smile. “Have you seen Yan Zheng? He promised he would come home for dinner. Why hasn't he returned yet?” “My Yan Zheng is the most handsome man in the world. But... the food is almost cold. Why hasn't he come home?” Xie Congyun's hands trembled so badly that the bowl slipped, spilling porridge all over the ground. At that moment, she finally understood that her mother was truly broken. Xie Congyun could no longer hold back. She covered her face and burst into tears. Meng Xingchuan stood beside her, his small hand clutching his sister's clothes. His lips trembled, but he stubbornly refused to shed a single tear. Just then, someone shouted: “Her Majesty the Empress has arrived!” Everyone turned around. Xie Congyun immediately raised her head and saw Fan Changning standing at the entrance. She was dressed in plain white mourning clothes, her hair disheveled, and her eyes swollen and red. As if she had finally found her last lifeline, Xie Congyun stumbled toward her. “Auntie!” She threw herself into Fan Changning's arms and cried so hard that her whole body trembled. “You're finally here! Please, come and see my mother! If this continues, her body won't be able to take it!” Fan Changning held her close. Although they had only been apart for two months, she could feel that the fourteen-year-old girl had become frighteningly thin. She gently patted Xie Congyun's back without saying anything. Her gaze passed over the girl's head and settled on the white figure lying across the doorway. She released Xie Congyun and slowly walked toward her sister. Every step felt like walking on the edge of a blade. When Jin Yuanbao saw her, his lips trembled. In a hoarse voice, he managed to call out, “Ning-niang,” before falling silent again. Manwu and Mancang knelt on the ground, their heads lowered and shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Xie Wu put down his wine jug. His lips moved as if he wanted to say something, but in the end, he could only let out a heavy sigh and turn his head away. Fan Changning walked up to Fan Changyu and slowly knelt before her. She looked at her elder sister's face. She had become so thin that her cheekbones stuck out sharply, her eye sockets were sunken, and her lips were dry and cracked. Her once-black hair had turned completely white. It was scattered across the ground, mixed with the dust on the doorstep. The sight was heartbreaking. Only her eyes remained bright. They didn't look like the eyes of someone who had lost her mind. Instead, they looked like those of someone waiting for a person she was certain would come. “Elder Sister,” Fan Changning called softly, her voice so hoarse that it was almost inaudible. Fan Changyu raised her head and glanced at her. That single glance made Fan Changning's heart ache as though someone had squeezed it tightly. Her elder sister looked at her no differently than she would look at a wall. But Fan Changyu smiled. When she smiled, Fan Changning could still faintly recognize the shadow of the brave and spirited female general she had once been. But that image had grown so faint, like a reflection in the water that would disappear with the slightest breeze. “Changning, you're back!” Fan Changyu said cheerfully, as though she were talking about something completely ordinary. “Have you seen your brother-in-law? Once he comes home, we'll have dinner together!” As she spoke, she lowered her head and pressed her cheek against the wrist guard, rubbing it gently like a cat waiting for its owner. “Yan Zheng promised me,” she murmured. “He said that no matter how late it got, he would always come home and eat with me.” Fan Changning knelt on the ground, looking at her elder sister's white hair, smiling face, and the wrist guard in her arms. She felt as though the entire world were spinning. “Elder Sister...” she called again, her voice breaking. Fan Changyu didn't raise her head. “Elder Sister,” Fan Changning called once more, reaching out to hold her hand. Those hands were so familiar to her. When they were young, they had braided her hair, held her hand as they walked through the darkness, and lifted her up whenever she fell. Now, those hands were nothing but skin and bones. Dirt was embedded beneath her fingernails, and they were as cold as stones in winter. “Elder Sister...” Tears fell onto Fan Changyu's hand, one drop, then another, until more and more tears covered it. “I'm sorry. Brother-in-law isn't coming back.” Fan Changyu's hand suddenly stiffened. The courtyard was so quiet that they could hear the wind blowing through the ginkgo tree. Fan Changyu slowly raised her head and looked at Fan Changning. Something seemed to be breaking inside those eyes, like cracks spreading across a frozen lake, growing wider and deeper. “What did you say?” Her voice suddenly changed. It was no longer light and dreamy. Instead, it became hoarse and desperate. “Who did you say isn't coming back?” Fan Changning bit her lip so hard that blood seeped through her teeth. “Brother-in-law isn't coming back.” She spoke each word slowly, as though every word were tearing at her own heart. “Elder Sister, he's never coming back.” No one in the courtyard spoke. Jin Yuanbao covered his face. Manwu and Mancang knelt on the ground and repeatedly bowed their heads. The wine jug slipped from Xie Wu's hand and hit the ground with a loud crash, spilling wine everywhere. Xie Jiu turned away, his shoulders shaking violently. The two Kang brothers lowered their heads at the same time. Xie Congyun covered her mouth, trying to keep herself from crying aloud. Meng Xingchuan stood beside his sister. He finally couldn't hold back a tear, but quickly wiped it away with his sleeve. Fan Changyu looked at Fan Changning as the light in her eyes slowly faded. She lowered her head and looked at the wrist guard in her arms, then raised her eyes toward the empty street outside. “Yan Zheng...” Her voice was as faint as a wisp of smoke. “He promised he would come back.” She pressed the wrist guard against her chest and curled up, like a wounded animal. “He promised he would come back,” she repeated. Her voice grew softer and softer until it became an almost inaudible whisper. Fan Changning knelt before her and wrapped her arms around her. Fan Changyu neither resisted nor responded. She simply curled up in her younger sister's embrace, clutching the worn wrist guard, her eyes wide open as she stared at the empty road outside. The sun slowly sank in the west, bathing the entire courtyard in a golden dusk. Fan Changning held her sister and felt her body trembling. She simply held her tightly, afraid to let go. As if keeping her arms around her would prevent her sister from completely falling apart. Behind them, Xie Congyun finally broke down and began to sob. Meng Xingchuan bit his lip and buried his face in his sister's clothes. In the courtyard, the bare branches of the ginkgo tree swayed gently in the wind. Spring was still far away. Very far away. Fan Changyu finally fell asleep at a quarter past seven in the evening. She was exhausted from crying and struggling. In the end, she curled up in Fan Changning's arms like a tired little animal. Tears still clung to her eyelashes, and she continued mumbling Yan Zheng's name in her sleep. The clearest moment Fan Changyu had experienced during this entire time was when she recognized Changning at the doorway just now. Fan Changning held her elder sister without moving for more than an hour. Only when her breathing became steady and even did she carefully hand her over to Jin Yuanbao's wife, asking her to carry Fan Changyu to the bedroom and settle her in. Fan Changning then went to check on Xie Congyun and Meng Xingchuan. Xie Congyun was sitting at the desk in the west wing, with a military strategy book open in front of her. However, she hadn't absorbed a single word. Her eyes were swollen and red. She clutched a pen in her hand, its ink already dried up. When she saw Fan Changning enter, she hurriedly stood up and closed the book. “Auntie,” she called. Her voice was as rough as sandpaper scraping against wood. Fan Changning walked over, gently guided her back into the chair, and crouched down to look her in the eyes. “Congyun, listen to your aunt.” Fan Changning held her hand and felt it trembling slightly. “Starting tomorrow, you don't need to worry about the household matters. I'll arrange for people to come and take care of everything.” Xie Congyun shook her head, and tears began falling again. “No, I have to stay with Mother. What if... what if she wakes up and doesn't see me?” “Does she even recognize you?” Those words struck like a knife. Xie Congyun was left speechless. She opened her mouth, but not a single word came out. Fan Changning's heart ached. She knew she had been too blunt, but she had to say it. “Congyun, you're fourteen now.” She wiped away Xie Congyun's tears, her voice gentle but firm. “Your mother is in this condition. You need to hold the family together for her.” “If you collapse too, what will happen to your younger brother? And when your mother gets better, who will be there to take care of her?” Xie Congyun bit her lip, desperately trying to hold back her tears. “I'm not telling you to stop looking after your mother. I just don't want you to exhaust yourself completely.” Fan Changning gently brushed the loose strands of hair away from her forehead. “Your maternal grandparents once told us that no matter what happens, we must eat every meal properly and get enough sleep. If the sky falls, someone taller will hold it up.” “Tomorrow, Uncle Xie Wu and the others will discuss what to do next. You should be there to listen and learn. You're the eldest daughter of the Xie family. Sooner or later, this responsibility will fall on your shoulders.” Xie Congyun remained silent for a long time before finally nodding. Fan Changning looked at Xie Congyun, who resembled Fan Changyu so much, and her eyes filled with tears. “When our parents passed away, your mother was about your age. She worked hard with her own hands to give me the best life she could.” Fan Changning pulled Xie Congyun into her embrace. “Don't worry, Congyun. Your aunt won't let anyone hurt you and your brother again.” ... Fan Changning then went to see Meng Xingchuan. The eleven-year-old boy was sitting beside the bed, holding a book upside down. When he heard footsteps, he quickly turned the book around and looked up, forcing a smile that looked even sadder than crying. “Auntie,” he greeted her politely. His voice carried a level of restraint far beyond his age. Fan Changning sat beside him without saying anything. She simply reached out and pulled him into her arms. Meng Xingchuan's body stiffened for a moment. Then, as if he had finally found someone he could depend on, he relaxed completely and buried his face in the crook of her shoulder. He didn't cry, but Fan Changning felt a small patch of her clothes grow damp. “Xingchuan,” she said softly. “If you want to cry, then cry. Your aunt is here.” Meng Xingchuan shook his head and spoke in a muffled voice. “I'm a boy. I can't cry. Elder Sister said Mother needs someone to support her right now. I can't cry.” Fan Changning's heart ached. She gently pressed his head against her shoulder and patted his back again and again. “Boys are allowed to cry too,” she said. “Your father cried plenty of times. I've seen him do it myself.” Meng Xingchuan raised his head and looked at her with red eyes. “Really?” “Really.” Fan Changning remembered the first time Xie Zheng had cried. It was the night her elder sister suffered a difficult childbirth. He had knelt outside the delivery room, crying like a child. “Your father was the strongest man in the world, but even he had times when he couldn't hold on. When things become too much, it's alright to cry. Afterward, you stand up again. There's nothing shameful about that.” Meng Xingchuan remained silent for a moment. Then he buried his face in Fan Changning's arms again and finally let out the tears he had been holding back. Fan Changning held him until he had cried enough. She then wiped his face and reminded him to go to bed early. When she left the west wing, she leaned against a pillar for a while and looked up at the cold crescent moon. She took a deep breath. Then she walked toward the main hall. Main Hall The hall was brightly lit. Xie Wu sat in the first chair on the left. Three or four empty wine jugs were scattered across the table in front of him, and he was still clutching a fifth one. His face was as red as heated iron. Xie Jiu stood behind him, his brows furrowed so deeply that they seemed capable of crushing a fly. The two Kang brothers, Kang Dan'er and Kang Xiaohu, sat on the right. One kept rubbing his hands while the other nervously picked at the armrest of his chair. Jin Yuanbao stood in the middle of the hall, pacing back and forth. His boots had polished the floor tiles until they gleamed. Manwu and Mancang huddled in a corner, not daring to make a sound. At some point, Xie Congyun had also arrived. She sat quietly at the last seat, holding a cup of tea that had already gone cold. The moment Fan Changning stepped into the main hall, everyone's eyes turned toward her. Xie Wu sprang to his feet so suddenly that his chair toppled backward. With a loud crash, it hit the floor. He grabbed his wine jug and staggered two steps toward Fan Changning. A strong smell of alcohol filled the air. “Your Majesty the Empress.” Xie Wu's voice was as rough as gravel. The three words sounded almost bitter as they came out of his mouth. “You've finally arrived.” Fan Changning stopped and looked at him. Xie Wu didn't bow. For the past month, no one had been in the mood to care about such formalities. He stared directly at Fan Changning. His eyes were bloodshot, his beard was unkempt, and he looked as though someone had hollowed him out from the inside, leaving behind nothing but an empty shell. “The Marquis always cared about you the most, Your Majesty.” Xie Wu's voice was low, as though the words were being forced out of his chest. “He treated you like his own child since you were little. Do you still remember?” Fan Changning's eyelashes trembled. “When you were kidnapped by Sui Yuanqing, it was the Marquis who led us to the battlefield to rescue you.” Xie Wu took another step forward, the smell of alcohol growing stronger. “The Emperor was also saved from his biological father's blade by the Marquis. The Marquis was always loyal to you, yet you...” His voice suddenly choked. His Adam's apple moved several times before he finally forced out the words. “Why did you repay his kindness with betrayal?” Those final words struck Fan Changning like four sharp knives, one after another, piercing her heart. She stood frozen in place. Her lips moved as if she wanted to say something, but her throat felt as though someone had grabbed it. Not a single word came out. What could she say? That Qi Yu hadn't done it? That she still believed in him? That everything had been an accident? She couldn't even convince herself of those things. Seeing her remain silent, Xie Wu's eyes grew even redder. His fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles cracked. “Ning-niang,” he said, his voice trembling. “Tell your Fifth Uncle. How exactly did the Marquis die? Was it really an accidental drowning? You know how good he was at swimming. He could swim back and forth across a river twice without even getting out of breath. How could he possibly...?” He couldn't finish. He turned around and slammed his fist against the doorframe. The wood cracked loudly, leaving a deep split. The main hall fell into a terrifying silence.