Chapter 5

Xie Jiu lowered his head. Kang Dan'er and Kang Xiaohu stood in the corner, one looking up at the ceiling and the other down at the floor. Neither dared to meet Fan Changning's eyes. Manwu and Mancang were crouching outside the doorway. The two grown men held each other, their shoulders shaking as they cried. Jin Yuanbao glanced at Xie Wu, then at Fan Changning. He placed his teacup on the table and stepped between them. “Xie Wu,” he said in a low, heavy voice. “This isn't what Ningniang wants either.” “The Marquis is dead, and Old Fan has lost his mind. She's suffering just as much as the rest of us.” Fan Changning's tears finally fell, silently, one after another. “Thank you, Uncle Yuanbao.” Her voice was so hoarse that it was almost impossible to hear. Jin Yuanbao shook his head, his eyes turning red as well. He had watched Fan Changning grow up. He had been there from the time her baby teeth had not fully grown until the day she wore her wedding crown and bridal robes. He knew how much pain the girl had endured. But Xie Wu refused to accept it. He suddenly turned around, grabbed the wine jug from the table, and smashed it hard against the floor. With a loud crash, broken porcelain scattered everywhere, and wine splashed across the floor. “Even if Ningniang had nothing to do with it, what about Qi Yu?” “Xie Wu!” Xie Jiu and Kang Dan'er rushed forward at the same time and grabbed him. “Let go of me!” Xie Wu shook off their hands. His eyes were bloodshot. “The Qi family really has no decent people! Does Qi Yu even deserve to be emperor?” His voice echoed through the empty hall, shaking dust loose from the beams above. “Brothers, all Qi Yu has done so far is give the Marquis an empty title after his death! He hasn't even come to pay his respects! The Marquis fought his wars for fifteen years and guarded his borders for fifteen years. Is this how he repays him?” Xie Wu's chest heaved as he breathed heavily. “If that's the case—” His voice suddenly rose, filled with near-mad determination. “Then we should storm the imperial palace and kill him! We'll avenge the Marquis and Madam!” “Xie Wu!” Kang Dayong rushed over and grabbed his arm. “You've had too much to drink!” “I'm not drunk!” Xie Wu struggled, his eyes red. “The Marquis treated us like brothers! Now he's dead under suspicious circumstances, and Madam has gone mad. We can't even get a straight answer from anyone! What kind of brothers are we? What are we—” “If it weren't for that little emperor's schemes, why would the Marquis have gone to…” His voice suddenly broke. A muffled sob escaped his throat, like a wounded beast crying out in pain. The forty-something man stood in the middle of the hall, trembling all over. Tears streamed down his cheeks and fell onto the broken pieces of the wine jug, making faint tapping sounds. Fan Changning stood still, looking at Xie Wu, Jin Yuanbao, Xie Jiu, and the Kang brothers. She also looked at Manwu and Mancang, who were crying together outside the doorway. These people had all watched her grow up. They had followed Xie Zheng through life and death and stood alongside Fan Changyu to defend their homeland. They had never once complained. Now Xie Zheng was dead, Fan Changyu had lost her mind, and they had no one left to question. Except her. Fan Changning slowly walked up to Xie Wu. Everyone fell silent and looked at her. “Uncle Xie Wu,” she called. Her voice was as hoarse as if it had been scraped raw. Xie Wu looked at her with bloodshot eyes, his lips trembling. “I'm sorry.” Fan Changning bent forward and bowed deeply. “I don't know how to explain it because I don't understand how things ended up like this either.” Her voice trembled, but she did not cry. “Qi Yu… He wasn't like this before.” Her gaze became distant for a moment, as if she were remembering a dream from long ago. “He once said that only an incompetent emperor would suspect his own ministers.” “He said he would never harm my elder sister or brother-in-law. He said—” “He promised!” She paused, feeling as if something were stuck in her throat. “He made so many promises, and I believed every one of them.” Xie Wu's lips moved as if he wanted to say something, but in the end, he remained silent. Fan Changning straightened up and looked at everyone in the hall. “But, Uncle Xie Wu,” she said clearly, emphasizing every word, “you must not kill him.” Xie Wu's pupils shrank. “Why not?” he rasped. “He killed the Marquis and drove Madam mad. And you still want to protect him?” “I'm not protecting him.” Fan Changning's voice was soft, but there was a strength in it that no one could argue against. “Uncle, what happens after you kill him? What about the three hundred people of the Xie family? What about Congyun and Xingchuan? What about my elder sister?” Xie Wu froze. “If you storm the imperial palace, whether you succeed or fail, it will be a crime punishable by the execution of your entire clan.” “And if you really do it, the common people will suffer no matter the outcome. I'm sure my sister and brother-in-law would never want that.” Fan Changning looked at everyone present. “Congyun is only fourteen. Xingchuan is only eleven. My elder sister has already lost her mind. Do you want to leave them with nowhere to go?” The hall fell deathly silent. Xie Wu opened his mouth, but not a single word came out. “Uncle,” Fan Changning said, her voice softening with a heartbreaking weariness. “I know you're angry. I'm angry too.” “But what happens after we've finished being angry? If we kill him, will my elder sister recover? Will my brother-in-law come back to life?” Xie Wu's tears began to fall again. He lowered his head, his shoulders shaking violently. “Then what are we supposed to do?” His voice sounded like that of a lost child. “Ningniang, tell your Uncle Xie Wu. What should we do? The Marquis is gone, Madam has lost her mind, and this family… What can we do now?” Fan Changning walked over and gently took his hand. His hands were rough like old tree bark, covered in calluses and scars left by decades of fighting. “Uncle,” she said, “as long as this family is still here, as long as Congyun, Xingchuan, my elder sister, and all of you are here, this family will not fall apart.” “I'll find a way.” Her voice was soft but firm. “I promise you. No matter what it takes, I'll protect my elder sister and the two children.” Xie Wu looked at her for a long time. “Ningniang,” he said in a hoarse voice, barely audible. “Being caught between both sides… It must be hard for you too.” Fan Changning's tears finally fell. She did not answer. She simply held Xie Wu's hand and gently patted it again and again, just as he used to comfort her when she was little. Jin Yuanbao walked over and patted Xie Wu on the shoulder. “That's enough. Ningniang rarely gets to come home. Don't make things difficult for her. We can discuss the Marquis's death later.” Xie Wu remained silent for a long time before finally nodding. He bent down and picked up the broken pieces of the wine jug one by one. The sharp edges cut his fingers, and beads of blood appeared, but he didn't seem to feel any pain. Xie Jiu crouched down to help him. Kang Dan'er also joined them. Manwu and Mancang crawled in from the doorway and knelt on the floor to pick up the broken pieces. As they continued, Mancang suddenly burst into tears. Manwu slapped the back of his head. “Why are you crying?!” Manwu's own voice was trembling. “The Marquis is gone, so we have to be even stronger! What kind of men are we if all we do is cry?” Mancang covered the back of his head and cried even harder. Watching them, Fan Changning suddenly felt a sharp pain in her chest, as if something inside her were twisting. She remembered when she was little. Manwu and Mancang would always run after her, calling out, “Ningniang, slow down!” Even when she bullied them, they never got angry. Xie Wu taught her how to ride a horse. Xie Jiu taught her archery. Jin Yuanbao told her stories. Kang Dan'er picked fruit for her, while Kang Xiaohu would run around the courtyard trying to escape from her. Back then, she thought those days would last forever. But nothing lasts forever. No one said a word. They simply kept their heads down and picked up the broken porcelain, piece by piece, as if they could put everything that had fallen apart over the past month back together. But everyone knew that some things, once broken, could never be restored. No matter how carefully they were put back together, the cracks would always remain. Fan Changning stood there, watching everyone crouch around the hall, each lost in their own thoughts. Her heart felt heavy, as if something were blocking her chest and making it hard to breathe. Jin Yuanbao gathered the broken pieces and wrapped them in an old cloth before placing them in the corner of the table. He dusted off his hands and cleared his throat. “That's enough. Everyone, get up. We can discuss the Marquis's matter later. For tonight, let's first—” Before he could finish, hurried footsteps suddenly came from the courtyard, accompanied by the rustling of a woman's skirt. “Dear! Dear!” Jin Yuanbao's wife stumbled into the hall. Her hair had come loose from running, but her face was flushed with excitement and surprise. She held onto the doorframe with one hand and patted her chest with the other, struggling to catch her breath. “She woke up! Madam woke up!” Everyone froze. Jin Yuanbao was the first to react. He grabbed his wife's arm. “What do you mean she woke up? Hasn't Madam been awake all this time?” “Not that kind of awake!” Mrs. Jin stamped her feet anxiously. “She's clear-headed now! She recognizes people! Madam… she recognized me! She even called me by my name!” The hall fell silent for a moment before erupting into chaos. Xie Wu sprang to his feet, banging his knee against the table leg. He grimaced in pain but didn't even stop. The broken porcelain in Xie Jiu's hand fell to the floor with a sharp clatter. Kang Dan'er and Kang Xiaohu rushed out of the corner at the same time, nearly bumping into each other. Manwu and Mancang scrambled up from the doorway. Tears were still on Mancang's face. “What did you say?” Xie Wu's voice changed. “Madam is clear-headed? Is she really awake?” “Really! Really!” Mrs. Jin nodded repeatedly. “Madam wants all of you to come over. She has something to say!” Xie Wu immediately rushed out. One of his shoes came off, but he didn't even turn around to pick it up. Xie Jiu followed close behind. Kang Dan'er and Kang Xiaohu pushed their way through the doorway, while Manwu and Mancang helped each other hurry outside. As they ran, Manwu scolded Mancang. “Why are you crying? Madam has recovered, and you're still crying!” Mancang wiped his tears. “Can't I cry because I'm happy?” Jin Yuanbao took a few steps, then suddenly stopped and looked back at Fan Changning, who was still standing where she was. “Ningniang?” he called softly. Fan Changning stood motionless, clutching the edge of her sleeve so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. Her lips trembled, and she seemed frozen to the floor. “Ningniang, come on,” Jin Yuanbao said gently. “Your elder sister is awake.” Fan Changning's tears immediately began to fall. She hadn't cried when she bowed to Xie Wu in the hall. She hadn't cried when she apologized, nor when she said, “I'm angry too.” But now, at Jin Yuanbao's words, “Your elder sister is awake,” her tears burst out like a broken dam. She couldn't stop them. She hastily wiped her face with the back of her hand, nodded, and followed Jin Yuanbao toward the back courtyard, walking unsteadily. The moon hung overhead, casting its cold light over the covered walkway. She walked along the corridor, passed through the moon gate, and went by the bare ginkgo tree. Every step felt like she was walking in a dream. She was afraid this might be another dream. Afraid that when she opened the door, her elder sister would still be lying by the doorway, clutching that worn-out wrist guard and repeating over and over: “Yan Zheng, why haven't you come home for dinner yet?” Xie Congyun was the first to arrive. When Fan Changning opened the door, she saw Xie Congyun kneeling beside the bed, clinging to Fan Changyu and crying so hard she could barely breathe. Meng Xingchuan heard the commotion and hurried over too. He stood beside the bed with his small body held straight, but his eyes were red. His lips were pressed tightly together, and both hands gripped the edge of the bed so hard that his knuckles had turned white. Fan Changyu was leaning against the headboard, half sitting and half lying down. Her white hair fell loosely over her shoulders, and her face was so thin that her cheekbones stood out. But her eyes… Her eyes were clear. They were no longer empty and confused, as if she could see nothing around her. Now they were calm and clear, filled with overwhelming sorrow. It was as if a thick fog had finally lifted, revealing the ruined land hidden behind it. One arm held Xie Congyun close while her other hand gently patted her daughter's back. Her movements were slow and tender, just like when she used to comfort her to sleep as a child. “Congyun,” Fan Changyu said. Her voice was as hoarse as a broken drum, but her tone was so gentle it broke one's heart. “Mother has failed you. I'm sorry for all the hardship you've endured during this time.” Xie Congyun shook her head desperately, tears flying everywhere. “No… Mother, you haven't done anything wrong… It's my fault. I didn't take good care of you…” “Don't say that.” Fan Changyu gently ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. “You're only fourteen. You've already done so well. I'm the one who should apologize to you.” Xie Congyun cried even harder, curling up in her mother's arms like a little animal that had finally found its home. She let out all the fear, hurt, and despair she had kept inside for the past month. Meng Xingchuan stood beside them. At last, he couldn't hold back and softly called, “Mother.” His voice was as faint as a mosquito's buzz, but the tear he had held back for a whole month finally fell. Fan Changyu reached out and pulled her son into her arms too. At first, Meng Xingchuan remained stiff, biting his lip tightly. But when he smelled his mother's familiar scent, mixed with medicine and dust, all the strength he had been holding onto collapsed in an instant. He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder and began to cry silently, his shoulders shaking. Fan Changyu held both children close and closed her eyes. Tears slid down her cheeks, falling onto Xie Congyun's hair and Meng Xingchuan's shoulder. The doorway was crowded with people.