Chapter 1

Chapter 1: There Has Long Been No Xiao Heng in My Heart Shaoyin left Daqi during the season of falling snow. When she returned five years later, it was likewise in the bitter cold of winter. According to Daqi ritual law, a County Princess returning from a marriage alliance had to enter the palace and offer thanks for the imperial favor. Thus, on the first day of her return to her homeland, Shaoyin could not go home to reunite with her family. She had to enter the palace first, to pay her respects to the Son of Heaven and the ladies of the various palaces. In the past, every time Shaoyin entered the palace, it had felt as though she were returning to another home. In this magnificent Daqi imperial palace, revered by all beneath Heaven, there had been her loving Aunt, Empress Xue, and her kind Uncle, the Son of Heaven. And there had been her Crown Prince Cousin, whom she had cherished in her heart since childhood and loved with foolish devotion. With her Aunt, Empress Xue, as her support, Shaoyin had seemed destined to become Daqi’s Crown Princess, envied by every woman in the world. Until, just before his wedding, her Crown Prince Cousin personally removed her from the list of candidates, turning her into a laughingstock in the mouths of everyone beneath Heaven. The year she became a laughingstock was also the most chaotic and difficult year of Shaoyin’s life. At that time, she had no time to dwell on her own humiliation before she had to face one terrifying reality after another: her aunt’s deposition, her family’s prosecution, and more. That year, Daqi’s mountains and rivers were caught in turmoil. For her aunt and for the Xue family, Shaoyin had taken the initiative to request a marriage alliance and marry far away. She was willing to use her own person to forge an alliance between Daqi and Shuobei, asking only that her uncle treat her aunt kindly and spare the Xue family. From then on, she left her homeland, and five years passed before she returned. Only after her husband died of illness did she submit a memorial requesting permission to return home. Five years later, as she once again walked along the road into the palace, Shaoyin’s state of mind was naturally very different from before. This place was no longer another home to her. It was where supreme imperial authority resided—cold, harsh, and allowing no hint of defiance. One could only submit. In silence, she passed through one palace gate after another. At last, following the palace attendant leading her, Shaoyin stopped outside Zhaoyang Palace. Zhaoyang Palace had once been the residence of the late emperor’s favored consort. Now, it was occupied by the current emperor’s favored consort, the true Cousin of Emperor Xiao Heng. When Shaoyin had clung to Crown Prince Xiao Heng in the past, she had always loved calling him Cousin. She knew perfectly well that Xiao Heng was merely her aunt’s adopted son and that there was no blood relation between them, yet she insisted on addressing him that way. It was as though doing so could make her more intimate with Xiao Heng, as though it could bring her closer to his heart. But when had Xiao Heng ever taken this false Cousin of his to heart? There had only ever been his true Cousin, Jiang Ningyan, in Xiao Heng’s heart. The current mistress of Zhaoyang Palace, Consort Shu Jiang Ningyan, had been sent into the palace’s Court of Condemned Women as a child after her family was convicted of crimes. Yet Jiang Ningyan herself had not suffered much because of her family’s involvement. She had a Cousin who cherished her. Not long after Xiao Heng became Crown Prince, he had brought his Cousin Jiang Ningyan to the Eastern Palace and personally looked after her. In the years before the Jiang family was pardoned, Jiang Ningyan was technically a palace maid of the Eastern Palace. In reality, however, she was like a young lady raised within the Eastern Palace. And during that time, Shaoyin had no idea how many times she had quarreled with Xiao Heng over Jiang Ningyan’s existence. How much jealousy she had openly displayed, and how many tears she had secretly shed. Looking back now, it had all been a ridiculous, empty dream. When Shaoyin recalled her former self, she could not help feeling like a stranger to herself. She gazed at the plaque bearing the words “Zhaoyang Palace” and gently breathed a puff of warm air into the snow. The Shaoyin of today would no longer feel even the slightest sour jealousy because of Jiang Ningyan. The Shaoyin of today had long since ceased to have Xiao Heng in her heart. Within Zhaoyang Palace, the imperial consorts had all gathered, waiting for the County Princess returning from her marriage alliance. In the eyes of the people in the Imperial Harem, the only reason Xue Shaoyin had been chosen for the marriage alliance back then was that her entanglement with the Crown Prince had thoroughly enraged the late emperor. Thus, the late emperor had personally issued an edict to drive this pestering nuisance away for his son. Therefore, no one felt any gratitude for the great sacrifice Xue Shaoyin had made in marrying for the sake of the state. They had nothing but mockery for her. “I heard she rushed to submit a request to return as soon as her husband died. She wouldn’t even remain in Shuobei to observe mourning for her late husband for three years.” “How could she possibly be willing to remain a widow in Shuobei? Who doesn’t know about the things she did in the past? She’s in such a hurry to come back because she certainly wants to pester His Majesty as she did before.” “Could she still be thinking of climbing into the imperial bed even now?! What a deluded dream! She’s a widow who married a barbarian. Her body must be soaked through with the stink of mutton. She’d better not come back and stink up His Majesty.” …… Just as the women were growing enthusiastic in their mockery, a soft rebuke suddenly came from the seat of honor. “Stop this nonsense. County Princess Yongning married far away for the sake of the state and its people. She has sacrificed greatly for the dynasty all these years. You must not slander her so.” The speaker was the mistress of Zhaoyang Palace and the foremost consort of the Imperial Harem, Consort Shu. The women could only murmur their agreement. Within the Imperial Harem, no one dared openly defy Consort Shu. For the past several years, Consort Shu had monopolized His Majesty’s favor. Everyone said that once Consort Shu gave birth to a prince, His Majesty would confer the position of Empress upon her. Unfortunately, although Consort Shu possessed His Majesty’s undivided favor, she had found matters concerning an imperial heir exceedingly difficult. Thus, while the imperial consorts showed Consort Shu respect to her face, many mocked her behind her back, and their ambitions to seize the position of Empress began to stir. If Consort Shu proved unable to bear a child, the position of Daqi’s Empress might not necessarily fall to her. As everyone waited in silence, each harboring their own thoughts, a palace attendant entered to report that County Princess Yongning was requesting an audience outside the hall. Though none of the consorts spoke, gleeful interest immediately lit their eyes. Only Consort Shu Jiang Ningyan remained composed as she said, “Invite her in.” The consorts had been hoping to see a worn and haggard woman weathered by the wind and frost of Shuobei. Instead, the young woman who entered the hall still possessed beautiful features and snow-white skin. Their disappointment was accompanied by a sense of wariness. Although His Majesty disliked Xue Shaoyin, she had always been adept at pestering people and using various stratagems. In the past, her methods of entanglement had been endless. Who knew what sort of trouble she would cause after returning this time? As the consorts exchanged wary glances, Consort Shu Jiang Ningyan sat upright in the seat of honor and silently watched the woman approach. She could not help feeling dazed. In Jiang Ningyan’s memories, the naturally beautiful Xue Shaoyin had relied on her aunt and her family’s power since childhood, never concealing her brilliance. Every time she appeared before others, she wore exquisite makeup and brightly colored clothes, as though she were shrouded in the radiant light of spring—dazzling and captivating. Yet the woman slowly entering the hall now wore plain clothes as white as snow. Only several jade hairpins adorned her jet-black hair. Her entire person was exceptionally unadorned. It was not merely her clothing that was plain. The Xue Shaoyin who had returned possessed an entirely different air from before. The former Xue Shaoyin had been proud and flamboyant, with a hint of defiance in her temperament, like a thorny rose that pricked the hand. But the young woman before her now seemed much like her given name, her quiet and restrained bearing resembling a white peony. It was as though the hardships and vicissitudes of these past years had pulled out every one of the thorns from Xue Shaoyin, one by one. Could a person… truly change so much…? And could Xue Shaoyin’s passionate love for His Majesty back then also have changed…? Jiang Ningyan was lost in thought for a moment before returning to her former composure. She ordered the palace attendants beside her to help Xue Shaoyin forward, then smilingly bestowed a seat and tea upon her. She also instructed the consorts in the hall to exchange formal greetings with County Princess Yongning. When the late emperor had ordered Xue Shaoyin to marry far away, he had followed precedent and bestowed upon her the title of County Princess Yongning, making her, by status, a member of the imperial clan. Thus, regardless of what the consorts truly thought of Xue Shaoyin, they had to formally greet this County Princess returning from a marriage alliance. Shaoyin lowered her head slightly and exchanged the proper courtesies with the consorts, enduring their piercing, thorn-like scrutiny. She sensed the hostility all around her and thought she was about to suffer a few verbal jabs when she heard Consort Shu Jiang Ningyan say to the others, “You may all leave. I have some private matters I would like to discuss with County Princess Yongning alone.” Shaoyin truly did not know what private matters Jiang Ningyan could possibly wish to discuss with her. Their relationship in the past had hardly been amicable. Jiang Ningyan had indeed possessed a mild temperament back then, but because of Xiao Heng, every time Shaoyin saw her, her heart had churned with jealousy. Not only had she rarely shown Jiang Ningyan any kindness, but sometimes she could not resist making a few cold remarks. Recalling those past events, Shaoyin’s feelings were complicated. Holding her tea, she sat silently below Jiang Ningyan and listened as Jiang Ningyan gently asked about her time in Shuobei. She asked how Shaoyin had fared there over the past several years, and whether her late husband, Heir Prince Helan, had treated her well during his lifetime and what their relationship had been like. As she asked these questions, Jiang Ningyan noticed that Xue Shaoyin always merely nodded and said that everything had been fine. Yet from her expression, it was impossible to tell whether Xue Shaoyin was truly fine or merely pretending. The Miss Xue of the past, whose joy and anger had been completely written across her face, seemed to have truly disappeared with the passing years. Ever since Jiang Ningyan learned that Xue Shaoyin would be returning from Shuobei, her mind had been in turmoil every day. The world believed that, having monopolized His Majesty’s favor, she had nothing to worry about beyond hoping to give birth to a prince as soon as possible. Only Jiang Ningyan herself knew what it meant to occupy a high position exposed to the cold. She knew that for these five years, unease and dread had lingered constantly in her heart. Deep in her heart, Jiang Ningyan had always harbored a secret suspicion. Though she had mocked that suspicion as ridiculous again and again in her mind, she had never been able to cast it aside completely or utterly deny that such a possibility existed. It was already the middle of the Si hour. By now, His Majesty should have finished court and returned to the Imperial Study. Jiang Ningyan ought to have told Xue Shaoyin this and reminded her that she could now proceed to the Imperial Study to pay her respects and offer thanks. Yet when the words reached her lips, she found them difficult to speak. Just as her lips seemed to stick together, Jiang Ningyan heard Xue Shaoyin suddenly ask, “May I ask, Consort Shu, how my aunt… has fared these past few years? Could I… go and see her?” Because she was the Deposed Empress of the previous dynasty, whenever people in the palace spoke of the former Empress Xue, they referred to her only as Mrs. Xue. Suppressing the turmoil in her heart, Jiang Ningyan replied, “All matters concerning Mrs. Xue are handled personally by His Majesty. I have no authority to inquire about them, so I truly do not know how she has fared these past few years. Nor can I permit you to visit her. His Majesty has forbidden anyone from entering Chongqing Palace.” As she spoke, a faint, chilling sensation seemed to pass soundlessly through her heart. Jiang Ningyan paused slightly, but in the end, she continued slowly, “If you truly wish to visit Mrs. Xue, you can try asking His Majesty when you pay your respects and offer thanks today. Perhaps His Majesty will show mercy and grant permission.” Shaoyin thought that asking Xiao Heng to show her mercy would probably be more difficult than ascending to Heaven. Before their final meeting five years ago, Xiao Heng had merely found her tiresome. Although he was annoyed by her, because she had been favored in the presence of the Emperor and Empress, and because Xiao Heng was a dignified and courteous Crown Prince in public, he had treated her with only a certain coldness on the surface. However, during their final meeting five years ago, she and Xiao Heng had both torn away the last of their restraint, saying things to each other as cruel and ugly as possible. The Xiao Heng of today surely did not merely find her tiresome. He must detest her to the extreme, and perhaps even harbor a deep hatred for her. But no matter how much Xiao Heng hated her, she still had to see him. Shaoyin thought that she had to bow and offer thanks for the imperial grace according to proper ritual. She also had to plead with Xiao Heng for permission to visit her aunt, no matter how faint the hope of receiving that permission might be.