Chapter 44 (Revised)

“I’m not fun, still…”

It was all because of the heat toxin, forcing her to do it. In truth, she didn’t like it either, did she? They were actually the same in that regard.

But the Princess stared into his eyes and changed the question: “Am I not fun, or is this matter not fun?”

The youth’s deep black pupils shifted from her left eye to her right, moving back and forth between them, the corners of his lips flattening completely.

This question was absurd to the extreme, so absurd it made him somewhat angry. Though he knew that, to her, these words didn’t mean much—she was a free-spirited person, with almost no sense of shame, always saying whatever came to mind. Yet he was still angry.

She absolutely, absolutely could not be “judged” by whether she was fun or not. How could she be judged? How could she compare herself to such a thing?

He made his point again, forcefully and clearly: “Copulation is not fun.”

Zhao Rongzhang’s gaze fell on the gestures made by the mute Little Cat. A strong sense of imagery and synesthesia surged within her, reminding her of those days and nights. This was far more obscene than hearing the word “copulation” spoken from a human mouth.

He thought copulating with her wasn’t fun? Zhao Rongzhang laughed: “Then you must have suffered terribly.”

The Princess disdainfully turned on her heel to leave.

Guan Xuan grabbed her sleeve, holding it tightly. Unable to move, the Princess stopped, took a deep breath, and coldly turned her head back.

Why was the Princess so angry today? Last night, lying in his arms, she had been serene and content. What exactly did the Princess want him to say? Guan Xuan quickly gestured, but the Princess turned her face away, unwilling to “listen” to him.

Guan Xuan was bewildered, anxious, and angry. He tightened his grip on the Princess’s sleeve, then took hold of her wrist, stepping in front of her to block her attempt to look away. Guan Xuan pressed his lips together, holding back his tears.

He lowered his head, awkwardly and clumsily resting it against her neck. He wanted to act spoiled.

He pressed her hand tightly against his chest, using her fingers to write quickly and haltingly: “Little Cat is stupid, doesn’t understand. Princess can’t treat Little Cat as… clever…”

Zhao Rongzhang’s neck stiffened, her face still tense.

Seeing her unmoved, the cat moved his head again, his damp, bitten lips pressing against her jaw, then quickly moving to her cheek and the corner of her mouth. He was acting spoiled.

Zhao Rongzhang held back again and again but finally spoke, her words laced with heavy sarcasm: “I’m not an unreasonable master. Since you don’t enjoy it, I won’t use you anymore from now on.”

The cat remained motionless. Zhao Rongzhang lowered her eyes and saw the flesh of his lower lip bitten to a vivid red. His hand wrote on her shoulder, the strokes crooked and uneven: “Does Princess have another… body she likes?”

Tears fell onto the back of his hand. Guan Xuan wiped them away: “Before I die, still use me, okay?”

Zhao Rongzhang frowned. Why talk about death? Ren Ping lived to nearly fifty—he could certainly live even longer.

“If you don’t enjoy it, why do it?” Zhao Rongzhang mocked. “There are plenty of other ways anyway. It was never necessary to use you.”

Zhao Rongzhang meant what she said. Once she declared she wouldn’t use him, she truly never did again.

Guan Xuan saw that she remained busy every day. In the mornings, she handled messages from all sides, urging feedback. In the afternoons, she discussed matters with Shuang An, addressing any vulnerabilities discovered. In the evenings, she studied how to build and refine her own intelligence network…

Often, even during meals, she had to constantly deal with miscellaneous tasks. Among these tasks was treating his illness.

Old Doctor Wu prescribed strong medicine, aiming for quick results. But he was a Shadow Guard, his utility valued above all else. The Princess would not allow the medicine to affect his physical strength or mental state.

Old Doctor Wu was troubled, explaining that the root cause of his condition lay in his abnormally active mind, inherently intense emotions, rich feelings, and severe lack of sleep. Continuing like this, a crisis was only a matter of time.

The Princess scoffed disdainfully, “You don’t understand. He’s just a block of wood, without the mind you speak of. It seems I really need to find another doctor.”

Though she said this, the Princess wouldn’t actually seek someone else. His existence and identity were best known to as few people as possible.

Old Doctor Wu wanted to argue with her, but the Princess didn’t wish to waste more time on such trivial matters. She settled it decisively, ordering him to write a prescription with milder medicinal properties as she instructed.

The prescription was ready, and the medicine was brought along with dinner. Guan Xuan picked up the medicine, his gaze falling on the Princess, who was admiring a small leather case sent by Shuang An.

She said she didn’t need him, and so she didn’t. Since then, for three days, she rarely even called him out. Once he no longer served the purpose of a medicine person, she ceased to see him.

The leather case was small and exquisite, fitted with a lock. The Princess inserted the key into the lock, then turned and walked toward the inner chamber.

The bowl of medicine was now empty. Setting down the bowl, Guan Xuan did not return to his assigned place. Instead, he walked toward the Princess.

Behind the curtain, the Princess opened the case and pulled out a thick piece of jade.

Her eyes filled with curiosity; she had never seen such a thing and examined it with fascination.

The case contained many items—this was just one of them. Among others was a small bronze mirror that could be propped up.

As the Princess was about to sit on the couch, she noticed him outside the curtain and frowned. “Go back.”

Guan Xuan did not move.

The Princess looked at him displeased, then suddenly smiled. “If you insist on standing there, fine.”

The young woman untied her silk skirt and reclined against the pillows, her lovely neck tilted slightly. On her face, a pair of curled lashes lowered, their gaze directed toward the small bronze mirror between her legs. The reflection within was tender and alluring; even without seeing it, he understood.

Guan Xuan lifted his eyes and stared at her.

The Princess held the piece of stone, studying the mirror intently. Even before inserting it, her breathing had changed several times.

The movements of her wrist and fingers were soft, slow, almost as if coaxing it.

Had she ever been this gentle with him?

Had she ever liked him this much?

Guan Xuan stared at the vivid colors reflected in the mirror. Inside his chest, emotions surged violently, flooding his breath with bitterness and ache.

Wasn’t she supposed to lack interest? Didn’t she not want to do it? Why, then, could she stir such genuine passion for a cold piece of stone? Was her heart so overflowing? Was he inferior to a piece of stone?

In her eyes, was he a lifeless object, without heart or emotion—even less than this piece of stone?

Guan Xuan pushed aside the curtain and stood beside the bed, his shadow tall and slender. He looked down coldly at his Princess.

The princess he hated the most, yet loved the most. The princess closest to him, yet farthest away. The princess he most wanted to smile at, yet most wanted to cry before. Princess, princess, his princess.

The princess saw him and lifted a face whose beauty rivaled the reflection in the mirror. Her eyes, usually cold, deep, and more often filled with sharpness than warmth or gentleness, were now veiled with a faint, watery sheen, more elusive than the lamplight.

She was not angered by his arrival, or rather, she paid it no mind at all. Her heart and mind were wholly consumed by that stone and how to swallow it.

She was excited, yet helpless and confused. Seeing him, she seemed to find an ally. Lying against the pillow, she tilted her noble and adorable face upward and said, “Help me.”

Guan Xuan easily took her hand, and then the stone. The moment he grasped it, she began to stir eagerly. Guan Xuan tightened his grip on her fingers and the stone.

He dropped the stone.