Chapter 45 (Revised) The First Time She Kissed Like This…
The Princess hadn’t reacted yet. When she looked up, she met his eyes, misty with moisture. He pressed down on her legs, stared into her eyes, leaned in, and kissed her.
The youth’s tears fell onto the Princess’s face. His heart ached that she had to endure the control of the heat toxin, yet if not for the heat toxin, in this lifetime, he would forever remain nothing more than a dispensable shadow at her feet—not even a stone. He would be nothing at all.
Suppressing the choking sensation in his breath, he pressed heavily against her lips, took her tongue into his mouth, and delved deeply into her mouth, into everything that was her.
Beneath his palm was the plump, supple flesh of the Princess’s thigh—warm, overflowing between his fingers. Guan Xuan felt that flesh tense, trying to lift. In an instant, he recalled how she had struggled to part her knees for a mere stone earlier. Would she welcome a stone like that, yet reject him?
He felt aggrieved, angry. When aggrieved, he would act spoiled; when angry, he would exert all his strength upon her, making her understand that he was the best—better than anything else.
…
Too thoroughly satisfied, Zhao Rongzhang slept lazily until the sun was high in the sky. Upon waking, she found Little Mute still there.
The youth’s face was pressed against her neck and chest, his breath brushing over her incessantly, impossible to ignore. Little Mute wasn’t asleep. The moment she opened her eyes, he opened his too, his dark, moist eyes fixed on her, the corners and rims of his eyes tinged with a clear, translucent pink. During the night, he had shed many tears behind her back.
Zhao Rongzhang playfully stroked his face with soft fingers, trying to push him away. Little Mute frowned slightly and pressed his head closer against her.
Zhao Rongzhang ignored him and tried to get up, but as soon as she moved her leg, she found it completely limp from the instep to the root, utterly devoid of strength. Though Zhao Rongzhang had been in high spirits, being reduced to such a state was too inconvenient. She mustered her strength to push Little Mute away.
Little Mute placatingly kissed her neck and jaw, his kisses making her throat quiver and her neck straighten slightly.
The Princess stood before the Dressing Table, examining the kiss marks on her neck. Usually, he was very mindful, never leaving such conspicuous marks. It seemed he had truly been furious last night. The thought that he could actually grow so jealous over a toy amused her.
The youth sat at the edge of the bed, lips pressed together, watching her with eyes that stung with unshed tears.
After several days of silence, good news finally arrived from Jiangnan. Su Tan reported that they had located Ming Luo and the others and could establish indirect contact with Ming Luo.
Shuang An was overjoyed, but Zhao Rongzhang appropriately reminded, “We still must not let our guard down. Double-check this message. Ensure it came directly from Aunt Tan and that she isn’t under any form of control.”
Shuang An nodded solemnly and worked late into the night. In a hurry, he rushed over with a lantern to report again, confirming the message was genuine.
Zhao Rongzhang was sitting in the study, hand-drawing a map of Jiangnan. The map was marked with varying levels of detail, with key annotations on the prefectures and counties where Ming Luo and the others were located.
Clearly, to prevent interception or misinterpretation during transmission, the first message from Su Tan had been simplified to the extreme. Shuang An had already sent their acknowledgment back. According to protocol, Su Tan’s second message would arrive at the designated location before noon the next day. This second message was of utmost importance, and Zhao Rongzhang decided to retrieve it personally.
After the meeting concluded, Zhao Rongzhang moved from the study to the bedroom. The maids had already prepared hot water, with soap and flower petals arranged behind the screen. Zhao Rongzhang soaked in the hot water, closing her eyes to rest, waiting for the maids to finish bathing her. Once dried, as they were about to dress her in nightclothes, she raised a hand and dismissed them all.
The Princess walked to the mirror and examined her body once more. The more she understood it, the more she liked it. In the past, she only knew how to appreciate others, to appreciate Little Mute, finding his body alluring. Now, looking at herself, she felt it was even more beautiful. When the Nuwa Empress crafted women, she must have put immense effort into it, ultimately bestowing upon women such a magnificent and remarkable form.
Humming a local tune she had recently heard, the Princess opened the small leather case again. But upon seeing its contents, she raised an eyebrow. Not a single item inside remained intact.
The culprit this time appeared without being asked, standing just a few steps away, watching her quietly with dark, round eyes.
Zhao Rongzhang laughed inwardly, amused that he wasn’t afraid of those male prostitutes but was terrified of these toys, fearing she might truly be captivated by them. She deliberately put on a stern face. “Who allowed you to touch my things?”
Little Mute stared fixedly at her, tears welling up in his eyes again. Zhao Rongzhang had intended to tease him a bit more, but then she saw him suddenly start pulling at his collar, revealing patches of snow-white skin beneath.
Beneath the snow-white neck, a faint silver glimmer caught her eye. To her delight, Zhao Rongzhang discovered he had adorned himself with something—a silver chest chain studded with rubies. The chain was delicate but finely polished, exuding a sense of quality. The rubies were the perfect touch, accentuating the lines of his muscles. The gems looked familiar, as if they had been pried from his hidden weapons.
Besides the gems, there were also small bells that jingled softly with his movements. For a Shadow Guard to dare wear so many bells on his body, he must have been extremely careful and tense to avoid making noise.
Once undressed, Little Mute leaned in, kissing her starting from her chest and moving upward, pressing against her neck and ears. He took her hand and pressed it against his own body.
The youth’s skin felt cool to the touch, and Zhao Rongzhang caught the crisp scent of Wild Mountain Spring on him—a fragrance she found utterly intoxicating.
Zhao Rongzhang was indeed somewhat tempted, wanting to pin him down immediately, but she had important matters to attend to tomorrow. Panting heavily, she pressed her hand against his face. “Stop it. Take all of this off and go to sleep.”
Little Mute paused, the intensity and force of his kisses suddenly increasing.
“Will you listen or not?”
Guan Xuan stopped again. Had she only just remembered she had to go out tomorrow? Wasn’t she just thinking about playing with the things in the case earlier? Why play with them and not with him?
Guan Xuan clenched his teeth, holding back the sting in his eyes. Of course, he would listen. No matter how wronged he felt, he would listen. He lay down on the inner side of the bed, tears falling one by one, dampening a corner of the Princess’s pillow. The only thing he refused to obey was removing the chest chain from his body. He still clung to the hope that the Princess might play with him.
The Princess lay with her back to him.
After a long wait, Guan Xuan blinked away the blurriness in his eyes. As he breathed, he accidentally jostled the small bells on his arm, producing an extremely faint tremor. Guan Xuan immediately covered all the bells on his body.
The Princess turned back toward him, but Guan Xuan dared not look at her.
“Ah.” The Princess leaned over and hugged him. Guan Xuan felt something soft brush against his face—it was the Princess’s cool, gentle kiss. She spoke to him with a helpless tone, “There really is important business tomorrow.”
The Princess’s breath was warm, like a cat’s whiskers, brushing past his cheek. Guan Xuan felt his shattered heart being tenderly cradled for a moment, and his tears flowed even more fiercely because of it.
She had never kissed his face before. She had never kissed him like this. Her interactions with him had always been driven by physical desire and demands. This was the first time she had kissed him this way.
Guan Xuan couldn’t control the intense impact this had on him. The Princess had kissed his face—not to seduce him, but to comfort him. She was actually comforting him.
Memories uncontrollably flooded back, tracing back to a very, very long time ago. He knew no one had ever kissed him like this before.
In a daze, he grabbed the Princess’s sleeve, then her hand, and wrote messily in her palm: “Princess, have you forgiven Little Cat?”
The Princess smiled. “What if I don’t forgive you? What will you do?”
Of course, there was nothing he could do. Guan Xuan’s emotions were in complete disarray—overwhelmed with happiness yet plagued by anxiety.
Though she couldn’t see his face clearly, Zhao Rongzhang could fully sense the torrent of his tears. In truth, there was nothing to forgive—she had never blamed him. She had once thought he neither revered nor loved her, but upon seeing him grow so jealous over a mere toy, she realized he revered and loved her too much, to the point where he dared not become overly infatuated with her, including her body. If he truly didn’t revere or love her, the Gu poison within him would have devoured him long ago. So, he had simply regarded himself as her toy.
It almost made her feel a pang of pity.
Zhao Rongzhang touched his face and indeed felt it wet and cool. She wiped it gently. “So prone to tears—is Little Cat made of water? When you were little, did someone have to hold you in their arms and comfort you every day?”
Guan Xuan’s eyelids softened, and his lashes trembled incessantly. The Princess was too gentle, as if kissing him with her fingers. He shook his head. He never cried easily and never liked being held.
Zhao Rongzhang continued stroking his face. “Do you remember where your home is?”
If he could tell her, she would find it.
Guan Xuan’s face rested beneath the Princess’s palm, and he cherished the feeling of being completely under her control. He wrote on her arm: “I won’t go back.”
Zhao Rongzhang fell silent and didn’t press further. To explicitly refuse to return—did that mean he remembered?
Zhao Rongzhang held him, embracing his fragrant and soft, beautiful body, resting her head against his chest, and fell asleep.
The next day, the carriage arrived by the riverbank, where a bustling and crowded scene unfolded, packed to the brim.
To ensure the Princess’s identity remained concealed, Shuang An specifically instructed the attendants not to clear the way in advance to avoid drawing attention. Instead, she had the Ming County Official dispatch a few more people in plain clothes to accompany them for protection. She herself rode in the carriage with the Princess, never leaving her side.
Their destination was Louyue Tower, situated by the riverbank—the intelligence-gathering center of the organization.
Zhao Rongzhang lifted a corner of the curtain and, amidst the jostling of the carriage, gazed at the river dyed red by the sunrise. Boats of various sizes on the water were leisurely cutting through the waves toward the crimson sun.
She thought of the days and nights spent wandering outside, the days tangled with Little Mute in the bedchamber, and the fetal toxin within her body. She wondered how much longer she would be shackled by this damned heat toxin.
“I’ve always wanted to ask,” Zhao Rongzhang looked at Shuang An, “you and Ming Luo share the same mother and the same blood, so why do you have heat toxin while she has none at all?”
Shuang An also had heat toxin in her body, though far less severe than hers.
“I don’t know. But misfortune may be a blessing in disguise, and blessings may hide misfortune. Precisely because my sister is clean, our mother chose between her and me to send her to the capital.”
Zhao Rongzhang lowered her eyes and sipped her tea: “Aunt Xiang He is truly kind-hearted.”
In truth, if Shuang An had been sent into the palace and raised by Consort Ling’s side, it would have been a better choice, as the heat toxin in her body could have been treated along with Zhao Rongzhang’s.
“Kindness is not the reason; it’s just a genuine affection for the consort. My mother all these years…” Shuang An smiled, “to be honest with you, she has a fierce and ruthless temperament. To achieve her goals, she disregards risks and costs.”
But Zhao Rongzhang did not respond, her thoughts already drifting far away with the earlier topic.
Born of the same mother, could Zhao Zhu also have heat toxin?