Chapter 26: Ambiguity. What Exactly is Going On Between You and Shen Ji?

Su Zhenyue’s eyes shot up, as bright as stars, and her voice held a slight tremor from excitement. “What do you mean, ‘it’s not out of the question’?”

What had she just heard?

Did he mean what she thought he meant?

Was he agreeing?!

Shen Ji took in the changes in her expression, let out a soft “mm,” and the corners of his lips curved slightly. “What do you think, cousin?”

“I think you’re agreeing,” Su Zhenyue blurted out, her eyes sparkling.

A hint of a smile in his eyes, Shen Ji said unhurriedly, “Fine, let’s just say I agree, then.”

He turned and ambled toward the window.

“What do you mean, ‘let’s just say I agree’? Either you agree or you don’t.” Su Zhenyue grew a little anxious and hurried after him.

She grabbed his sleeve and shook it gently. “Cousin—”

Shen Ji smiled faintly, looking somewhat helpless. “Alright, I agree.”

Those five short words were like the music of the heavens to Su Zhenyue’s ears.

“That’s wonderful!” Her eyes were full of mirth, but her nose tingled slightly. As if afraid he would go back on his word, she added, “You must keep your promise.”

“What? Do you need me to write a formal pledge for you?” Shen Ji couldn’t help but laugh.

Su Zhenyue blinked. “Hm? Can you?”

“What do you think?” Shen Ji was taken aback and replied in exasperation. During the national mourning period, how could he leave behind such obvious leverage for someone?

Su Zhenyue said nothing, only staring at him with pleading eyes. She thought it was a good idea, but didn’t it depend on his willingness?

She couldn’t exactly force him.

This subtle expression did not escape Shen Ji’s notice. He glanced at her, thinking to himself, So spineless. Is she really that insecure?

But on second thought, it seemed understandable. A young girl who had lost both parents and was living under someone else’s roof, with no parents to rely on—it was only natural for her to feel uneasy about a matter as important as her marriage.

Forget it, he thought. When the time comes, I’ll be the one to speak to the Gu family. I’ll just say that I was worried I wouldn’t pass the imperial examinations, so I wanted to secure the engagement beforehand.

In the end, her only fault was that her feelings for him ran a little deep. What was so wrong with that?

—Actually, in Su Zhenyue’s mind, it would be best to have it written down in black and white as proof. But firstly, it was the national mourning period, and secondly, it was best not to overdo it.

Of course, the main reason was that Shen Ji had no intention of doing so, and she didn’t want to force him, fearing it would be counterproductive.

The way things were now was already very good. He had promised to get engaged as soon as the national mourning period was over. What more could she be dissatisfied with? She only felt a warmth filling her chest, and even a sense of unreal happiness.

Su Zhenyue smiled, her eyes dancing and her cheeks slightly flushed. Her voice was even softer. “Cousin, I’m so happy.”

“Mm.” The corners of Shen Ji’s lips curved up slightly. He was quite pleased, but he said, “It’s just an early engagement. Is it worth being this happy?”

“Of course it is!” Su Zhenyue nodded emphatically, gazing at him with a smile.

An ambiguous atmosphere flowed between them, and the air seemed to be filled with a faint sweetness.

A sudden thought struck Shen Ji, and he asked, as if unintentionally, “Do you have a pet name? What do the people close to you usually call you?”

“The First Madam and the others call me A-Yue,” Su Zhenyue answered hesitantly.

“Your pet name is A-Yue?” Shen Ji remembered that the fourth young master Gu also called her that.

Su Zhenyue shook her head, a little embarrassed. “No, the pet name my parents gave me is Mianmian. It’s just that after my grandmother passed away, no one called me that anymore.”

—Back then, after her father and grandmother passed away one after another, she was brought to the Jing An Marquis Estate. Upon learning her name, the First Madam, Zhou Shi, was the first to affectionately call her “A-Yue,” and others followed suit. She was young at the time and new to the estate, so she naturally didn’t go out of her way to correct them.

Thus, the name “A-Yue” had stayed with her for many years.

“Mianmian, Mianmian,” Shen Ji repeated twice, feeling a lingering tenderness between his lips and teeth. “Which ‘mian’ is it?”

“It’s the ‘mian’ from ‘zhen yue er mian’—to sleep pillowed on the moon,” Su Zhenyue said. As she spoke, an idea came to her, and she boldly took his hand. In his palm, she wrote, stroke by stroke, the character for “mian.”

The young lady’s fingers were long and slender, her movements extremely light.

Shen Ji felt a tingling numbness spread from his palm through his entire body.

His body trembled involuntarily, his gaze shifted, and he suddenly tightened his grip on her fingers.

Su Zhenyue froze when her fingers were caught. She didn’t struggle, only flicking a quick glance at him as her fingers gently scratched his palm, once, twice.

His palm itched, but his heart itched even more fiercely. Shen Ji’s Adam’s apple bobbed. His gaze was heavy as he said in a low voice, “Don’t mess around.”

“Oh.” Su Zhenyue was compliant and indeed stopped moving, simply letting him hold her fingers while she quietly inched her body closer to his.

Their arms brushed against each other through their clothes.

The light, slightly sweet fragrance from the young lady’s body lingered at the tip of his nose. Even though the window was open and the Warm Pavilion wasn’t sweltering, the tips of Shen Ji’s ears still turned a little red.

He knew that they were not yet formally betrothed. At this moment, he should let go of her hand and keep his distance.

But in the end, he couldn’t bear to.

And so the two of them remained in that state, neither saying a word.

Suddenly, an unknown bird outside the window took flight with a flutter of its wings. As if startled, Su Zhenyue pulled her fingers free, flustered. “It’s getting late. I-I should be heading back.”

She placed the ruyi knot from her sleeve on the table and quickly departed.

“Mm.” Shen Ji looked down at his hand, which was now empty.

His heart felt empty for a moment, too, tinged with a bit of regret. But it didn’t matter. Once the national mourning period was over, they would be engaged. After the examination results were announced, they would marry.

He could afford to wait.

…

After leaving Qingfeng Courtyard, Su Zhenyue’s heart was still pounding.

She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time, and also felt the urge to shout a few times, but she forcefully suppressed it all.

She walked briskly all the way back to the West Wing Courtyard. The moment she saw Nanxing, she smiled and said, “It’s done, it’s done!”

“What’s done?” Nanxing was puzzled.

Su Zhenyue refused to speak plainly, only saying, “Anyway, it’s done.”

In high spirits, she took out some of her private savings and gave it to Nanxing. “Today is the Laba Festival. Take this money and distribute it among everyone. Let them either get together with their families or eat something nice. Consider it a festival celebration.”

“This much?” Nanxing was slightly shocked. “How much money does Miss have in total?”

“Isn’t it a festival?” Su Zhenyue waved her hand, unconcerned.

The sword hanging over her head had been removed, and her heart was completely at ease. She couldn’t care less about a mere sum of money.

Nanxing agreed and hurried off to do as she was told.

Su Zhenyue, meanwhile, took down the zither hanging on the wall.

Joyful music flowed from beneath her fingers.

This was the first time she had been this happy since returning from the country estate.

At noon, Old Madam Wen hosted a banquet in Chunhui Hall.

Su Zhenyue had been informed in advance and naturally did not join the festivities.

Old Madam Wen had long since ordered people to send many fine dishes to the West Wing Courtyard.

The table was laden with delicacies, no worse than those at the family banquet.

Doukou was a servant born and raised in the Marquis Estate; her parents and siblings all worked in the Jing An Marquis Estate. Su Zhenyue gave her some money and let her take some good dishes back to celebrate the festival with her family. She then had her meal with Nanxing.

With her long-cherished wish fulfilled, the huge stone in Su Zhenyue’s heart was lifted. She ate half a bowl more rice than usual and even made an exception to drink two cups of Osmanthus Wine.

The wine had a very light flavor, with more sweetness than alcohol.

After a few sips, Su Zhenyue didn’t feel the least bit drunk, but instead felt a little like crying.

Recalling the difficulties of this period, she put down her wine cup and asked, “Nanxing, in the future, when we leave the Marquis Estate, where would you most like to go?”

“Anywhere is fine. I just want to be with you, Miss,” Nanxing answered directly without a second thought.

—Unlike Doukou, she had no family left. Miss was the closest person to her.

Su Zhenyue chuckled, tears welling in her eyes. “Alright, then we’ll go together.”

This time, as soon as the national mourning period was over, she would be engaged to Shen Ji. She would not go to Shu, would not meet that perverted tyrant Yuan Ye, and Nanxing would surely be fine.

They would get far away from all of this and live well.

…

At this moment in Chunhui Hall, the family of the Jing An Marquis Estate sat at separate tables.

Amidst the lively atmosphere, Su Zhenyue was the only one missing.

Shen Ji’s gaze shifted slightly. He looked twice more but still didn’t see her.

Strange, he thought. If today’s family banquet is only for the Marquis Estate’s immediate family, then why am I, Shen Ji, here, and why are the second branch’s various female cousins here, but she specifically is not?

“Cousin, what are you looking at?” The third young master, Gu Yuanwei, clapped him on the shoulder like a good brother, then followed his line of sight toward the female relatives. He saw only a fragrant scene of beautiful women and didn’t notice anything unusual.

Shen Ji’s expression was indifferent. “Nothing.”

“Oh.” The third young master had only asked casually and turned to drink with someone else.

Old Madam Wen was concerned about her grandson and specially had her head maid, Jialan, serve warm wine to the perpetually frail fourth young master Gu.

As Jialan passed by Shen Ji, he feigned nonchalance and asked, “Has Miss Su not come?”

His voice was very soft, but not far away, the Heir Apparent Gu Yuanchen was particularly sensitive to the name “Su.” Hearing the words, he subconsciously looked over.

“Miss Su?” Jialan was startled, her expression becoming slightly unnatural before quickly returning to normal. “Ah, Miss Su is feeling a bit unwell, so she didn’t come.”

—As it involved some of the estate’s private matters, Jialan chose to conceal the truth.

Shen Ji’s brow furrowed almost imperceptibly. “Unwell? Has a physician been called?”

Jialan smiled and said casually, “No, she said it’s a minor ailment, no need to call one.”

“Mm.” Shen Ji nodded slightly to show he understood, but his mind was filled with doubt.

How could she suddenly be unwell? Wasn’t she perfectly fine this morning?

Although it was still the national mourning period and there were many taboos, the Jing An Marquis Estate’s family banquet was still lively. Only Shen Ji was absent-minded.

About half an hour after the banquet began, people started to leave early one after another.

Shen Ji took the opportunity to leave as well.

—He was, after all, worried and wanted to see with his own eyes how she was really doing.

Thus, Shen Ji headed straight for the West Wing Courtyard.

Speaking of which, since they had met, it had always been her coming to Qingfeng Courtyard. This was the first time he had taken the initiative to seek her out.

As he neared the gate of the West Wing Courtyard, Shen Ji felt inexplicably nervous.

The courtyard gate was ajar.

Shen Ji straightened his sleeves and was about to knock.

Who would have thought that just as he raised his hand, he would hear the Jing An Marquis’s Heir Apparent, Gu Yuanchen’s, cool voice ring out from within the courtyard: “What exactly is going on between you and Shen Ji?”