Chapter 44: Heartache

She was definitely not without feelings for him.

…

Su Zhenyue had deliberately tried to get close to Shen Ji before, so she knew a few of the subtle little tricks between men and women that could create a sense of intimacy.

Therefore, her first reaction now was: Shen Ji did it on purpose.

Just like that night at the lantern festival, when he had feigned an unintentional closeness before quickly moving away.

It had to be.

At this thought, she felt inexplicably flustered.

But on second thought, they were already married. What did a small, intimate gesture like this count for? Besides, she had used similar ploys herself when she first tried to get close to him.

She glanced at Shen Ji again, only to see the corners of his lips slightly upturned, his eyes crinkling with a hint of a smile.

Su Zhenyue’s cheeks flushed, and she abruptly dropped the carriage curtain.

The carriage continued on its way.

After a while, Su Zhenyue’s heart calmed considerably, and the blush on her cheeks gradually faded.

The air inside the carriage was stuffy, so she quietly lifted a corner of the curtain to let some air in.

The third month was the best time of the year—not too cold, not too hot, with an occasional gentle breeze caressing her face.

From Su Zhenyue’s vantage point, she could see Shen Ji riding his horse, his back straight, looking dashing and at ease.

Ping An was clearly in high spirits, humming an unknown tune as he drove the carriage.

It was as if their journey was not one of exile, but a leisurely outing.

Perhaps influenced by the mood, Nanxing whispered in Su Zhenyue’s ear, “Miss, I think… this is actually quite nice.”

Although the conditions in Anle County were harsh, at least they could get away from the troubles of the capital. Heaven knew how worried she had been over the past few months.

“Yes, it’s very nice,” Su Zhenyue nodded, thinking to herself, as long as I can avoid the fire that’s coming.

Unfortunately, in that long dream, all she knew was that Shen Ji had died in a fire at a postal station on his way to his post. But on which day and at which postal station the fire occurred, she had no idea.

“Miss?” Nanxing handed her a cherry.

Su Zhenyue took it and took a small bite. The sweet and sour taste instantly filled her mouth.

She thought, actually, it should be easy to avoid that fire.

As long as they didn’t stay at postal stations along the way, or if she deliberately delayed their journey by three or four days compared to the original schedule, wouldn’t they be able to evade it?

It couldn’t be that the fire at the postal station would wait to start at the exact moment they arrived, could it?

Thus, upon reaching the next town, Su Zhenyue spoke up directly, “Cousin, let’s not travel anymore today. We can set off early tomorrow morning, alright?”

Shen Ji looked up at the sun in the sky, a brow raised. “It’s only just past three in the afternoon.”

“I know.” Su Zhenyue’s mind raced, and she casually pointed to a crowd gathered ahead. “But there’s something exciting to see over there.”

Just as she spoke, accompanied by the sound of gongs and drums, two dancing golden lions climbed up to a high platform, vying for an embroidered ball made of red silk in the middle.

It turned out to be the town’s Temple Fair, with various performances like the Lion Dance, Land Boat, and Stilts.

At that moment, the red embroidered ball burst open, scattering countless colorful ribbons.

The watching crowd erupted in enthusiastic applause.

Su Zhenyue also cheered along, then looked at Shen Ji with pleading eyes, deliberately softening her voice. “Cousin, please?”

She reached out to tug on his sleeve, her clear eyes filled with entreaty.

How could Shen Ji possibly refuse?

—In any case, the emperor had only ordered him to set out immediately, not stipulated a required arrival date. A delay of a day or two wouldn’t matter.

It was rare for her to show interest in something.

With this in mind, Shen Ji gave a slight nod. “Alright.”

Su Zhenyue beamed, her beautiful eyes curving like crescent moons. “Cousin, you’re the best.”

“Yay! We get to see the lion dance!” Ping An cheered. He was still young and loved lively events.

And so, their group watched the Lion Dance, the Land Boat, and the Stilts. It wasn’t until the Temple Fair ended that they found an inn to stay for the night.

Just like the day before, they took two guest rooms.

The next morning, when it was time for breakfast, Su Zhenyue had Nanxing tell Shen Ji that she was unwell and couldn’t travel that day.

—Of course, Su Zhenyue wasn’t lying.

After nightfall, she had realized her menstruation had arrived, and a few hours later, she began to suffer from excruciating abdominal pain.

By dawn, her face was pale, and her forehead was beaded with cold sweat.

Originally, although Su Zhenyue was thin, she was in good health. Her monthly cycle was regular, and aside from a slight ache in her lower back, she had no other discomfort. But ever since falling into the water last October, her cycle had become irregular, and she would be in so much pain during this time that she could only rest in bed.

Nanxing knew her condition. She quickly bought a hot water bottle from the innkeeper, carefully filled it with hot water, and gave it to her to press against her abdomen.

Only then did she feel a little better.

Nanxing then had the innkeeper brew a bowl of brown sugar ginger water and brought it back to the room. After doing all this, she followed her mistress’s instructions and told Shen Ji, “Young Master, my lady is not feeling well. I’m afraid she won’t be able to travel today.”

“Not feeling well? What’s wrong with her?” Shen Ji frowned. Wasn’t she perfectly fine yesterday?

“Well…” It was a private matter for a woman, so Nanxing was hesitant to speak. She stammered, “No, it’s not a serious illness.”

Seeing her attitude, Shen Ji grew even more worried. “I’ll go see her.”

He then walked past Nanxing and pushed the door open directly.

As soon as he entered, he saw Su Zhenyue resting in bed.

Her ink-black hair was piled by her cheeks, making her face seem even paler. Her lips were so faint they were almost colorless, her temples were damp with sweat, and the corners of her eyes were slightly red.

Shen Ji felt as if his heart was being squeezed, a dull and deeply uncomfortable sensation.

He strode forward. “Mian Mian…”

As he got closer, he could faintly smell a hint of blood.

Su Zhenyue opened her eyes, looking weak and pitiful. “Cousin.”

Shen Ji took her wrist, then placed his fingers on her pulse. After a few moments, his brow furrowed slightly, his expression a little strange. “Menstruation? You’ve suffered from cold exposure before?”

“You…” Su Zhenyue pulled her hand back, somewhat embarrassed. “You know medicine?”

“A little.”

Shen Ji had no intention of studying medicine, but he possessed a photographic memory. He had read some medical books in his early years and had observed doctors practicing, so he knew a thing or two.

But they were at an inn now, and he wasn’t an expert in this field. He sent Ping An into town to inquire about and fetch a doctor who specialized in women’s health.

Ping An accepted the order and left.

“I was exposed to the cold,” Su Zhenyue said in a small voice. “The first time I met you, wasn’t I still ill? I got sick because I fell into the water during the day.”

“How could you just fall into the water? Did someone harm you?” Shen Ji thought of the assassination attempt she had faced when they first met.

Su Zhenyue didn’t hide it from him. “I was by the water’s edge when someone suddenly shouted loudly and walked towards me aggressively. I panicked and lost my footing, falling in.”

“Who was that person?” Shen Ji’s eyes shifted.

Seeing her pitiful state now, Shen Ji’s heart ached, and his anger towards that person grew.

Su Zhenyue shook her head. “Let’s not talk about that. Cousin, could you pass me that bowl of brown sugar ginger water on the table?”

She didn’t want to dwell on the past; she wouldn’t have any contact with those people in the future anyway.

She started to sit up.

“Don’t move. Lie down. I’ll feed you.” Shen Ji gently pressed her shoulder, stopping her from getting up.

A few moments later, he belatedly realized she was only wearing her nightclothes.

His fingertips suddenly felt scorching hot.

His heart skipped a beat. He turned away to hide his reaction and picked up the bowl of brown sugar ginger water from the table.

Nanxing had brought the bowl in, so it was no longer scalding hot.

Still, Shen Ji was not reassured. He used a spoon to drip a drop onto the back of his hand. Seeing that it was warm, he then fed it to Su Zhenyue.

Putting the bowl down, Shen Ji asked, “Is this sugar water useful?”

“Maybe. Everyone says it is.”

It was a remedy given by Doukou’s mother.

Su Zhenyue’s stomach was in knots, and she didn’t feel much better after drinking the brown sugar ginger water. Wanting to distract herself, she asked curiously, “Cousin, have you ever fed anyone like this before?”

“Yes.”

“Who was it?”

Shen Ji raised an eyebrow, his tone peculiar. “Your mother-in-law.”

Su Zhenyue choked, unsure how to respond for a moment.

Shen Ji said slowly, “When my mother was gravely ill, I was by her side to serve her medicine.”

Su Zhenyue imagined the scene. As someone who had also lost her parents, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for him. She reached out and quietly took his hand.

A sudden warmth spread across his hand. Shen Ji lowered his gaze to the hand covering his.

Her autumn-water eyes were filled with heartache.

Yes, heartache.

This was the first time Shen Ji had seen someone younger than him feel such an emotion for him.

It was a strange and novel experience, making his heart feel full and sour, yet also inexplicably warm.

She was clearly in discomfort herself, yet she was feeling heartache for him?

Shen Ji squeezed Su Zhenyue’s hand back, thinking: She is definitely not without feelings for him.

…

Ping An quickly returned with a doctor.

The old doctor had a white beard and was initially unwilling to make a house call. It was only after Ping An offered a hefty sum and pleaded with him that he agreed to come.

After taking her pulse, the old doctor said, “This is uterine cold. It must be properly managed. Otherwise, there will be much suffering in the future.”

Shen Ji nodded. “I’ll have to trouble you to write a prescription, Doctor.”

The old doctor pondered for a moment, then added, “Seeing as you’re staying in an inn, you must be travelers, and I’m afraid you won’t have time for a slow recovery. Besides, this isn’t something that can be fixed with just one or two doses of medicine. How about this: I’ll prescribe something to alleviate the current symptoms. Later, once you’ve settled down, you can focus on long-term treatment.”

“Thank you for your trouble, Doctor.”

The old doctor quickly wrote out a prescription and added a reminder, “This is just for this time. You’ll still need to treat it later. You must not be careless.”

“Understood.” Shen Ji committed it to memory, paid the consultation fee, saw the doctor downstairs, and then sent Ping An to fill the prescription.

Once the medicine was fetched, Nanxing borrowed the inn’s stove to brew it. After it was ready, she hurriedly had Su Zhenyue drink it.

The medicine seemed to have a sedative effect. After drinking it, Su Zhenyue felt her head grow groggy and was overcome with drowsiness. However, the abdominal pain did ease considerably.

Due to her indisposition, the group stayed in the town for several days.

Su Zhenyue thought this was a blessing in disguise, saving her the trouble of deliberately delaying their journey. But on the surface, she wore an apologetic expression and asked cautiously, “Cousin, I’m so sorry. Have I delayed everyone’s schedule?”

“It’s only three or five days, what’s there to delay? We’re not short on travel funds.” Shen Ji was unconcerned. “The most important thing is for you to get well.”

After a slight hesitation, he asked, “It’s been almost half a year since you fell into the water last October. Is your menstruation this painful every time?”

Su Zhenyue felt quite embarrassed by his question. Having lost her female elders at a young age, she vaguely knew that such matters were not something to be discussed openly with others.

But seeing Shen Ji’s serious inquiry and his concerned gaze, which held no trace of anything untoward, she said in a small voice, “It’s alright. It gets better after the first two days.”

Shen Ji frowned. “Why didn’t you see a doctor?”

She just endured it?

He didn’t mean to blame her, but the thought of her going through this for the past several months made his heart ache.

“I thought about it, but I was afraid of causing trouble. I just figured I could endure it for the first two days.” Su Zhenyue thought to herself that with a major crisis hanging over her head at the time, she really couldn’t be bothered with this.

Thinking of her situation in the Jing An Marquis Estate, Shen Ji sighed. After a long moment, he said in a low voice, “You don’t have to be afraid of causing trouble in the future.”

“Mm,” Su Zhenyue nodded.

She knew, and she looked forward to their future life together.

And so, the group stayed in the town for four days, only setting out again on the fifth day to continue their journey.

Su Zhenyue figured that this delay due to her illness should be enough to miss the fire.

But she still didn’t dare to be too careless. What if in the dream, Shen Ji and the others had also been delayed for some reason?

She still had to be vigilant.

Shen Ji, pitying her frail constitution and knowing she had never traveled far before, was afraid that continuous travel would be too much for her body. Therefore, their pace was not rushed.

They traveled by day and rested by night, unhurriedly.

Su Zhenyue was very satisfied with this.

She discovered that the farther they got from the capital, the worse the roads became.

They were all official roads, but those in the capital region were paved with smooth, even stone slabs. The official roads far from the capital, however, were noticeably more rugged.

Although they tried to stick to the official roads as much as possible, the ride was inevitably bumpy.

Fortunately, this carriage had been specially modified with an extra layer of shock absorption. The interior was also lined with a thick, soft cushion, making it barely tolerable for someone sitting inside.

On this day, the group was on the road, with no village in sight ahead or behind them, and no sign of human life for dozens of li.

As they passed the foot of a mountain, Shen Ji, riding ahead, saw a carriage overturned in the middle of the road with some movement around it. He couldn’t help but feel surprised.

Meanwhile, up ahead on the road.

Seven or eight burly men wielding pudaos, one of whom had a scar on his face, were pointing a sharp blade at a middle-aged man’s chest. “Hand over all your valuables, or not a single one of you, old or young, will leave here alive.”

It was clearly a robbery.

“Mercy, good sirs! We’ve given you everything. We really have no more money.”

“Dressed like that, you only have this little? Who are you kidding?” The scar-faced bandit spat, then grabbed a young child by the leg. “If you don’t hand it over, your son’s leg is gone.”

The child was so frightened he started wailing.

His mother and sister began to cry as well.

“Sir, we really have nothing left,” the middle-aged man pleaded.

How could the scar-faced bandit believe him? He laughed heartily. “Very well, then your son doesn’t need to keep his life either.”

With that, he threw the child to the ground and raised his blade to strike.

“No—!” the child’s mother shrieked, trying to shield him with her body, but she was held back firmly by several bandits.

Suddenly, the sound of horse hooves approached. Another bandit tugged on the scar-faced man’s arm. “Boss, someone else is coming.”

The scar-faced man squinted, glanced over, and saw a single carriage and a horse. He thought nothing of it. “Excellent. We didn’t come down the mountain for nothing today. Two jobs in a row. We won’t have to worry for the next ten days.”

He laughed, then kicked the kneeling middle-aged man. “Be careful. Don’t let your son’s blood splash on your face in a moment.”

He raised his blade again.

Just as the blade was about to sever the child’s head, a swish was heard. A crossbow bolt flew through the air and pierced straight through the scar-faced man’s palm.

The scar-faced man roared in pain. His pudao fell and stuck firmly into the ground.

“Boss!” The other bandits were shocked and rushed forward to check on him.

At the same time, the sound of hooves drew closer, and several more crossbow bolts were fired.

In an instant, Shen Ji had arrived on horseback.

—Being away from home, he hadn’t wanted to get involved in trouble. But seeing the bandit about to kill a two or three-year-old child from a distance, he truly couldn’t bear it.

Shen Ji didn’t have time to think; he had already made his decision. From a distance, he had grabbed the crossbow from his saddle and acted to stop him.

So be it, he thought. Let it be troublesome. It has never been my style to stand by and watch someone die.

Fortunately, he had acted in time and temporarily saved the child’s life.

“You brat, you dare ruin our business!” several bandits roared, raising their blades to attack.

Shen Ji drew his longsword with a blank expression and engaged them in a fight.

There were women in the carriage behind him; he had to resolve this quickly.

Unfortunately, Ping An, unaware of the situation, was driving the carriage at high speed. As he got closer and saw what was happening, he shouted urgently, “Miss Su, don’t get out of the carriage! I’m going to help the Young Master.”

With that, he grabbed a crossbow, jumped off the carriage, and charged forward.

Su Zhenyue was startled to hear there was trouble ahead. When she lifted the curtain to look, she was even more alarmed.

There were seven or eight burly men on the other side, while Shen Ji only had Ping An to help him.

Ping An couldn’t even get close, only firing crossbow bolts from a short distance away.

Su Zhenyue’s heart pounded. She wanted to go and help, but she was afraid her skills were insufficient and she would become a burden instead.

She opened a hidden compartment and took out her treasured sleeve arrow.

On the night of the third day of the tenth month last year, at the suburban estate, Shen Ji and Ping An had fought sworn assassins together. But at that time, Su Zhenyue had been in her room and hadn’t seen the specifics of the fight.

Now, by the time she had her sleeve arrow ready and looked again, she saw that the battle outside was mostly decided.

Ping An had taken down two bandits with his crossbow, and Shen Ji had injured two with his longsword. The scar-faced man from before was already on the ground. Of the remaining two, one was holding the child hostage, and the other had seized a woman. They were threatening Shen Ji, “Back off! Back off, or I’ll kill them all.”

Shen Ji raised an eyebrow and twirled his sword. “Kill them then. What’s it to me?”

The two bandits never expected such a response. They exchanged a shocked glance.

The middle-aged man, however, was horrified. He immediately fell to his knees and kowtowed to Shen Ji, the sound of his head hitting the ground audible. “Benefactor, righteous hero, you must save them!”

Shen Ji’s brow twitched almost imperceptibly.

Hearing this, the two bandits were overjoyed and tightened their grip on their “hostages.”

A shallow bloody line immediately appeared on the child’s neck, and he began to wail.

Seeing this from the carriage, Su Zhenyue couldn’t help but think it was a pity. Her gaze inadvertently shifted to the sleeve arrow in her hand. She estimated the distance—no more than thirty or forty paces.

An idea struck her. She slipped the sleeve arrow onto her wrist and quickly adjusted her aim.

At the same time, Shen Ji gave Ping An a meaningful look.

Ping An nodded.

Suddenly, with two swishes, the crossbow bolt and the sleeve arrow were fired almost simultaneously, accurately hitting the two bandits.

The two men were startled.

While they were in disarray, Shen Ji acted decisively. His longsword thrust out, pulling the woman to safety and snatching the child into his arms.

Then, with a few more slashes, he attacked the bandits’ lower bodies.

Both bandits fell to the ground.

Seeing his wife and child were safe, the middle-aged man was crying and laughing at the same time, his face streaked with tears. He immediately embraced his family, then kowtowed to Shen Ji repeatedly, explaining that they were residents of the county seat returning home from afar when they encountered this.

“Do you have any rope?” Shen Ji didn’t have time to listen to their detailed story. “We need to tie these men up first.”

The anesthetic’s effect was short; they couldn’t wait for them to wake up.

“Rope? No, but I have cloth.” The middle-aged man reacted quickly. He brought out a bolt of cloth from his carriage, cut it with a knife, and together with Ping An, tied up the men.

Su Zhenyue watched from the carriage, quietly letting out a sigh of relief.

Thank goodness, thank goodness. It’s good that it’s resolved.

Only then did she get out of the carriage and approach.

Seeing her pale face, Shen Ji felt rather apologetic and asked in a gentle voice, “Did I scare you?”

“No.” Su Zhenyue shook her head. After a pause, she asked, “Cousin, are you alright?”

“Was that sleeve arrow from you?”

They both spoke at the same time, then realized and smiled.

Su Zhenyue was a little embarrassed. “I fired my sleeve arrow, but I didn’t expect Ping An to… It’s a good thing I didn’t mess things up.”

“How could you have messed things up? You reacted quickly and acted decisively. You did very well.” Shen Ji smiled faintly and added, “Your aim was very good too.”

Although she knew full well that her contribution wasn’t particularly significant, his sincere praise still made Su Zhenyue’s heart flutter with joy.

This was the first time she had truly taken action, and not missing was quite an achievement.

She smiled and shook her head, looking very modest. “It’s because Cousin taught me well.”

As she spoke, her gaze inadvertently shifted and she saw a clear trace of blood on the web of Shen Ji’s right hand. Her heart jumped in alarm. “Cousin, you… you’re injured?”

Shen Ji looked down at the blood on his hand. He was about to say, “It’s nothing, it’s someone else’s blood,” but then he saw the worry and anxiety in her eyes. An idea struck him. His expression turned grave, and he let out a soft “Mm.”

He even held his hand out to her.

Su Zhenyue, suspecting nothing, took out her handkerchief and carefully wiped away the blood, trying to see the wound clearly.

Who would have thought that after the blood was wiped away, only clean skin was revealed? Where was the wound?

She froze for a moment. When she looked up again, she saw Shen Ji looking at her with a half-smile.

Seeing this, how could Su Zhenyue not understand? She immediately dropped his hand, and still not satisfied, shot him a fierce glare.

Shen Ji raised an eyebrow, his smile spreading across his features.

He’s so bad, Su Zhenyue thought. Truly, so bad.