Chapter 51: Confession—I Like My Cousin

Shen Ji felt his mind go blank for a moment. He could clearly hear his own heartbeat, growing louder and louder. In a daze, the sound seemed to recede and then draw near, until finally, only three words remained in his ears: “…like you.”

Although he had vaguely guessed it before, hearing her say it with her own mouth still sent a jolt through his heart.

Immense joy surged through him, and his lips moved unconsciously. After a long moment, he could only manage a dazed, “What?”

Seeing him like this, Su Zhenyue was no longer nervous. She took another step forward, until she was barely half a chi away from him, and said, word by word, “I said, my heart delights in you.”

Maybe not a great, great deal, but it was definitely like.

The moment the words left her lips, he seized her arm. With a slight pull, she fell into his embrace.

His voice was low. “What did you say? Say it again.”

In all the time she had known him, Su Zhenyue had never seen Shen Ji like this. The distant candlelight flickered, reflecting in his eyes, which burned brighter and brighter, as if they would consume her whole.

Su Zhenyue’s lashes trembled. She glanced at the arm he was holding but didn’t struggle, only saying in a small voice, “I like my cousin. It’s not for advantage, not out of gratitude, but like.”

Her voice was very soft, with a faint tremor in it.

—It wasn’t that she didn’t have a trace of fear for the unknown in her heart, but she told herself: Be bolder, just a little bolder.

The man before her was not just anyone; he was Shen Ji.

“Is that so?” Shen Ji calmed down slightly.

“Yes,” Su Zhenyue replied, her cheeks burning. Her voice was low but clear.

“When did this happen?” Shen Ji asked again.

“I don’t know either. Maybe it was a long time ago, or maybe it was just the other day,” Su Zhenyue said, unable to pinpoint it. She had seriously pondered this question herself.

Perhaps it was when he willingly agreed to their engagement, knowing full well she was using his feelings. Perhaps it was when he left her room late at night. Perhaps it was when he shielded her from danger…

She had an unfortunate fate, losing her parents at a young age. Whether in reality or in that long, long dream, very few people had ever treated her this way.

It was only natural that she would fall for Shen Ji.

At first, she had only wanted to avoid the old path from her dream and save her and Nanxing’s lives. To repay his kindness, she also wanted to save Shen Ji’s life. But she didn’t know when it started; her thoughts had unknowingly changed.

She wanted to live a good life, together with Shen Ji.

“Mian Mian…”

Su Zhenyue half-raised her head, looking straight into his eyes. “Don’t ask anymore. Just know that it’s like. I like you the most, the very most.”

She knew she had a “prior offense,” but this time was different.

This time, it was real.

Shen Ji chuckled and raised a hand to gently caress her cheek.

Su Zhenyue’s heart pounded, almost leaping out of her chest. She said nothing, but suddenly turned her head and lightly bit his palm.

Before he could react, she declared with a serious expression, “You just asked me if it would be good to marry sooner. I say yes, it would be very good. I’m looking forward to it.”

Shen Ji froze for a second, then extended his long arms and clasped her tightly in his embrace.

They could almost hear each other’s heartbeats.

Thump-thump, thump-thump. For a moment, it was impossible to tell whose was whose.

The night breeze was cool. Shen Ji closed his eyes.

He had thought it would be much later.

He had thought it would be after they were married, living together day and night, that he would slowly entice her into giving him her heart.

He never expected this day to come so soon.

She liked him, just like that?

Shen Ji thought to himself: Perhaps this great upheaval isn’t entirely a bad thing. Heaven has its own arrangements in the grand scheme of things.

“Alright,” Shen Ji heard himself say. “We’ll get married as soon as possible.”

At this moment, he felt the joy of a long-cherished wish fulfilled. This joy almost instantly smoothed away his slight dissatisfaction with fate.

Held in his embrace, Su Zhenyue waited a while before whispering, “Can you let me go now? I’ve been busy all day, and I’m tired.”

In truth, she wasn’t that tired. But for one, it was getting late, and for another, she was afraid the personal guards would see them. Although in the eyes of outsiders they already had the status of husband and wife, it was still somewhat embarrassing.

Shen Ji let out a soft “en.”

He agreed verbally but continued to hold her, unmoving.

Su Zhenyue didn’t speak, letting him hold her. After a while, her heartbeat gradually steadied. Her eyes darted about, and she began to wiggle her fingers in his palm.

“Mian Mian, don’t be naughty,” Shen Ji said, capturing her mischievous hand and refusing to let go.

“I’m not being naughty, I’m tired,” Su Zhenyue defended herself with a straight face.

For some reason, she was reminded of the time in Qingfeng Courtyard at the Jing An Marquis Estate before the new year.

So this was what it felt like to truly like someone.

After a long time, Shen Ji finally, slowly, released his hold. “En.”

“I’ll go back then?” Now that she was free, Su Zhenyue herself felt a little reluctant to leave.

It was strange. They saw each other often, yet at this moment, she just wanted to stay by his side.

“Alright,” Shen Ji nodded.

After walking a few steps, Su Zhenyue suddenly turned back, strode forward quickly, and gave him a swift hug, leaving him with the words, “I’m very happy.”

Then she turned and trotted back to her room.

After closing the door, her heart was still pounding, and her body seemed to be burning up.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks were as red as peach blossoms in the third month.

Su Zhenyue cupped her chin with her hands and sat at the table for a long time before she felt a little calmer. She then turned to survey the room.

This room had been newly tidied up. It was clean, neat, and ready to be lived in.

Su Zhenyue was clearly exhausted, but after washing up and lying in bed, she felt no sleepiness at all.

One moment she was replaying the evening’s events, the next she was imagining their future life. Joy, vexation, worry… all sorts of emotions intertwined as she tossed and turned, only managing to fall asleep around the third watch.

Tonight, she was not the only one who couldn’t sleep. Shen Ji was awake as well.

The moonlight was bright and clear. Shen Ji stood in the courtyard for a long time.

He looked down at his hand, the corners of his lips unconsciously curling up.

The night grew deeper and the dew heavier. The sound of the night watchman’s clapper drifted from afar, and only then did he seem to startle back to his senses and slowly walk into the room arranged for him.

However, even after returning to his room, Shen Ji did not sleep. Instead, he lit two lamps, then spread out paper and ground ink, meticulously listing all the details and items needed for the wedding.

—The last time had been too rushed. Now that they were holding the wedding ceremony again, he would not let her suffer the slightest grievance.

Unconsciously, the sky in the east began to lighten.

Despite not having slept all night, Shen Ji was still in high spirits, showing no signs of fatigue.

He was in an excellent mood and called a personal guard over, telling him to go out and buy an almanac.

“An almanac?” The guard scratched his head. The new County Magistrate, on his second day in office, wanted him to buy an almanac?

“Yes, an almanac,” Shen Ji nodded.

He wanted to pick an auspicious date for the wedding, the sooner the better.

“Understood.”

Besides matters related to the wedding, Shen Ji had many other things to attend to.

Anle County had been without a county magistrate for a long time, and many matters had been handled by the County Clerk. But a County Clerk was not a County Magistrate, after all, and over time, a backlog of old cases had accumulated.

Since Shen Ji had come here to serve as the County Magistrate, he naturally had to bear the responsibilities that came with the post. Upon taking office, he began to understand the county’s situation and started to handle some of the old, unresolved cases.

Anle County was remote, and its people made a living from farming, largely at the mercy of the heavens. Most lived hard lives. When they couldn’t be sure of their next meal, many resorted to violence and aggression, which led to a high number of cases.

Some cases had been dealt with, but others had been shelved for various reasons.

In addition to the old cases, there were also pressing issues concerning the people’s livelihood and education that needed to be resolved.

Although Shen Ji was a newcomer, he had the backing of Prince Yan and had brought capable men with him. While it was tricky at first, he soon handled things with ease.

It had to be said that within You Prefecture, Prince Yan’s name was a very useful calling card.

Over the next few days, Su Zhenyue was also busy.

Having just arrived in a new place, they were starting almost from scratch, and many things needed to be purchased anew.

For two consecutive days, she and Nanxing, accompanied by the personal guards, went out to buy things. They also hired two more cooks.

Life in the rear residence of the Anle County yamen gradually fell into a routine.

It was just a pity that the season wasn’t right, so she hadn’t been able to plant flowers and tend to a garden yet. But this small, two-courtyard house was already tidied up and comfortable.

Originally, there were only four of them, plus a team of personal guards and two cooks. Now, the dozen or so rooms were all fully occupied. Feeding and providing for so many people every day was a considerable expense.

In the afternoon, Su Zhenyue was in the courtyard looking over the account book.

This was a new habit she had developed since arriving in Anle County. In the half-month she had been here, money had been flowing like water. She needed to know where every single sum was spent.

Suddenly, she heard familiar footsteps behind her.

A smile rippled in Su Zhenyue’s eyes. She turned her head and, sure enough, saw Shen Ji walking toward her.

“Cousin, I’ve spent so much money these past few days,” she said, standing up and walking a few steps toward him. Her voice was soft, as if she were acting spoiled and complaining at the same time.

As she spoke, she showed him the account book.

Shen Ji glanced at it over her hand, noting her elegant handwriting and the clearly recorded accounts. Looking at the items purchased, they were all necessities.

“Spend what needs to be spent. We still have money,” Shen Ji had no objection. On the contrary, he was grateful for her meticulousness and thoughtfulness. It was a great help to him.

Su Zhenyue smiled without a word.

As expected, those with money spoke with confidence.

She had recently discovered that being a county magistrate had its perks. At the very least, this official residence was quite nice, with its two courtyards, front hall, rear courtyard, side rooms, and attached rooms—it had everything, including a small garden.

They could live here for the duration of his term, which would save a large sum of money on buying a house.

Hmm, they shouldn’t buy one. It’s not like they’ll be staying here forever.

Su Zhenyue tilted her head and asked deliberately, “You don’t think I’m spending too much?”

“This is considered a lot?” Shen Ji was unconcerned. A thought flickered in his mind. “There will only be more to spend money on next month.”

With that, he took out an almanac and pointed it out to Su Zhenyue. “I had someone pick three auspicious dates. Which one do you think is better?”

He had intended to choose one himself, but since it concerned their wedding, he had ultimately asked a specialist to select the dates.

Su Zhenyue took it and looked closely. They were indeed all auspicious days for marriage, and all were in the next month. The soonest one was only nine days away.

She hesitated slightly. “I do want to get married soon, but isn’t this a bit too soon? There isn’t even enough time to embroider the wedding dress.”

“Can’t you just buy one from a tailor shop?” Shen Ji asked, puzzled.

Su Zhenyue shot him a look. “How is that the same? I want to embroider it myself.”

In fact, she had brought her wedding dress with her when she left the capital, but many things had been lost in the haste of the assassination attempt that night.

Now that they were holding the wedding again, her state of mind had changed, and she hoped to sew the wedding attire with her own hands.

“Then what about the eighteenth of the sixth month?” Shen Ji didn’t insist, taking the next best option.

Su Zhenyue calculated silently in her head. “Alright, the eighteenth of the sixth month it is. That should be enough time, right? It’s just that I haven’t even chosen the fabric yet.”

—She had gone out these past few days, but in her heart, she had always wanted the two of them to choose it together.

Tilting her head to look at Shen Ji, a thought stirred in her mind, and she asked with a beaming smile, “Cousin, are you free today?”

“I am.”

Su Zhenyue’s eyes danced. “Then could you…”

“I can,” Shen Ji said before she could finish. “Yes.”

Although she hadn’t said it outright, he could guess from her expression alone: she wanted him to accompany her to pick out fabric.

Since arriving in Anle County, they had been busy with all sorts of miscellaneous tasks. The two of them had not yet gone out together.

Now that it concerned the wedding attire, and since he was free anyway, it was only right that he accompany her.

Su Zhenyue broke into a radiant smile, her watery eyes sparkling. “Then wait for me, I’ll go change my clothes. I’ll be right back.”

…

Anle County was remote and its conditions were not good. But there were still plenty of lively places in the county town.

Su Zhenyue had been going out frequently for shopping recently, so she had a slight understanding of the area.

Afraid of delaying Shen Ji’s official duties for too long, Su Zhenyue headed straight for the fabric shop in the center of town after leaving the rear residence of the yamen.

“Welcome, esteemed customers, what can I get for you? We have the finest Shu brocade, cloud brocade, rain flower brocade, as well as Guang silk, snow satin, woven brocade satin…”

The moment they entered, a shop assistant came forward to greet them enthusiastically. But halfway through his speech, he caught sight of Shen Ji behind Su Zhenyue. He froze for a moment, then exclaimed, “Lord… Lord Shen? Is that Lord Shen?!”

Su Zhenyue was slightly surprised. She turned sideways to look at Shen Ji. “You know each other?”

“How could I not? It was Lord Shen who handled my older brother’s case!” The shop assistant’s expression was one of excitement. He quickly recovered. “My lord, are you here to buy fabric? I have some here, I have some. I’ll… I’ll pay for it.”

The shop belonged to his boss, so he couldn’t make the decision. But he could still afford to pay a little money.

Su Zhenyue shook her head and said with a straight face, “No, you’re mistaken. He’s not the one buying, I am. I’m the one who wants to buy fabric.”

She knew in her heart that Shen Ji would definitely not let this shop assistant pay for him.

Shen Ji smiled slightly, understanding her intentions, and cooperated perfectly. “That’s right, this young lady is the one buying. I’m just here to look.”

“Ah…” The shop assistant stared blankly, assuming the two weren’t together. He scratched his head in embarrassment. “Oh, then what kind of fabric would the young lady like?”

Su Zhenyue gave a light cough and stepped forward to take a closer look.

This Geng’s Fabric Shop was already the largest in Anle County. Although the exquisiteness of the fabrics couldn’t compare to the capital’s, they had their own unique characteristics.

Su Zhenyue carefully compared them and chose a bolt of red Moonlight Brocade.

She didn’t say anything, only glancing at Shen Ji, questioning him with her eyes.

Shen Ji saw that the Moonlight Brocade had an exquisite pattern and a shimmering luster, and he gave an imperceptible nod.

He could almost imagine how she would look wearing clothes made from it.

“I want this one,” Su Zhenyue decided immediately. At the same time, she pointed to several other bolts of fabric nearby. “I’ll take these as well.”

For their wedding, they also needed to get new clothes for Nanxing, Ping An, and the personal guards at home.

Those people had also worked very hard recently.

“Alright, alright, alright,” the shop assistant hurriedly wrapped them up and handed them to Su Zhenyue.

However, before they had even left the fabric shop, Shen Ji took the bolts of fabric from her hands.

The shop assistant happened to see this and couldn’t help but be startled. When he looked again, the two had already left the shop.

It took a long while for the shop assistant to realize: so they really were together!

He knew it.

After buying the fabric, the clothes needed to be tailored.

To tailor clothes, one first needed to know the measurements.

Most people, having grown to their current age, basically knew their own sizes.

There were only two exceptions. One was Ping An, who seemed to have grown a little taller.

The other was Shen Ji, who seemed to have become a bit thinner.

—He had rushed all this way, suffered a serious injury, and had been busy handling various affairs since arriving in Anle County. Although it wasn’t obvious, his clothes seemed a little looser.

Su Zhenyue decided to measure Shen Ji again.

At that time, Shen Ji was in his study, looking through old case files, when he suddenly heard a “knock, knock, knock” at the door.

“Come in.”

Footsteps approached from afar, and Su Zhenyue floated in gracefully.

She brought a cool glass of Arbutus Drink and said with a slight smile, “Cousin, I’m not disturbing you, am I?”

“No, I was just about to take a break.”

“This is an Arbutus Drink. It’s cool, sour, and sweet. Have a taste.” Su Zhenyue took out a soft measuring tape. “I want to have new clothes made for you. I asked Ping An for your measurements, but he said you seem to have lost some weight recently, so the old ones aren’t accurate. I’ll measure you again.”

Shen Ji was about to say, “It’s just tailoring clothes, no need for such trouble.”

But the words died on his lips, and he swallowed them back down. He simply nodded. “Alright.”

So be it. How could he disappoint her kind intentions?

The matter of taking measurements could be both difficult and easy.

With Shen Ji’s cooperation, Su Zhenyue quickly measured his height, arm length, and leg length.

When it came to measuring his shoulder width, it was difficult for her to reach, so on a whim, she simply had Shen Ji sit down.

“Cousin, sit here. I’ll measure you while you’re sitting here.”

The corners of Shen Ji’s lips curved up, and he was very cooperative.

Su Zhenyue carefully measured his shoulder width, jotted it down, and clapped her hands with a light laugh. “Done.”

The next moment, she remembered something else. “Look at me, I forgot. I haven’t measured your waist yet. Cousin, please stand up.”

Shen Ji was in an excellent mood. He said nothing and cooperated fully.

It was already the end of the fifth month. The sun was scorching, and their clothes were thin.

They were standing very close, and he could smell the faint, sweet fragrance coming from her.

As that pair of soft hands moved around his waist, Shen Ji felt as if all the blood in his body had rushed to a certain spot. His expression changed slightly, and before he could think, he subconsciously gripped her hands, stopping her from moving any further.

“Mian Mian!” Shen Ji’s voice was slightly hoarse.

Su Zhenyue paused, then said softly, “Let go first, I haven’t finished measuring.”

Shen Ji didn’t answer, only staring fixedly at her.

Su Zhenyue was stunned for a moment, then belatedly realized what was happening, and her face suddenly flushed red.

After several breaths, Shen Ji slowly released her hands. He turned, picked up the cool Arbutus Drink from the table, and drank it all in one go.

There were still a full twenty days until their wedding on the eighteenth of the sixth month.